April 15, 2003

What The Phone Call Between Bush And Chirac Might Have Sounded Like If They Talked Like Me And My Stupid Friend Chris, The Time He Promised To Help Me Move But Then Bailed Because He Said He Had To Drive His Girlfriend To The Airport Since Her Car Was In The Shop, Which Was Bullshit Because I Talked To Her Afterwards And She Said Her Car Was Fine And He Probably Just Sat On His Fat Ass And Played Vice City All Fucking Day, And Then A Couple Weeks Later He Called Me And Tried To Invite Himself To My Housewarming Party Because He's A Goddamn Douchebag, But Anyway

Chirac: George? It's Jacques.

[Pause]

C: George?

Bush: Yeah, I'm here.

C: Hey!

[Pause]

C: So hey, man, just wanted to catch up and everything. Congratulations on Iraq, man! That is so awesome.

[Pause]

C: 'Cause I know we sort of weren't really, you know, on the same page or whatever, but it's cool, right? You're not gonna be a--

B: Was there something you wanted, Jacques? Kind of busy.

C: Right, whoa. Wow. Okay. Yeah, uh, you know, I'm actually calling to congratulate you, dude, I'm glad that things worked out and shit, so I think you could at least be a little more--

[CLICK]

[Pause]

C: Hello? What the fuck?!?

Posted by Jim Treacher at April 15, 2003 11:45 PM
Comments