Lileks has a rundown of the cruddy Super Bowl ads this year, but he left out the creepiest one of all: The Gatorade ad, where Michael
Jordan plays a trash-talking game of one-on-one against his younger
self, back when he could still defy gravity and hadn't yet endorsed
every single product in the universe. (Not to be confused with the
Michael Jordan Hanes commercial, where he waggles his eyebrows at the
camera while Jackie Chan mugs and jumps around as only Jackie Chan can
be paid enormous sums of money to do.) I haven't been able to pin down
what's so chilling about the Gatorade ad -- The not-quite-right CGI
Jordan? The (apparently unintentional) message that time is cruel and
you can never get back what you've lost, no matter how hard you try to
convince yourself that you've still got it? The Being John Malkovich-ness
of a universe consisting of nothing but various permutations of Michael
Jordan? -- but it sure as hell doesn't make me want to drink Gatorade.
As if all that wasn't enough of a turnoff, they've given Jordan that
disgusting "yellow Gatorade sweat" that looks like riboflavin-enriched
piss oozing out of his pores. Nice!