June 08, 2003

Why not just move Deliverance to downtown Vancouver? Why not Mel Gibson as The Mack?

Holy crap, they're doing a remake of Walking Tall, with Buford Pusser played by... The Rock?!? Well, why not. Instead of that big hand-carved club, maybe he'll pound on guys with a metal chair while spouting a limited assortment of forceful pusser.PNGcatchphrases all ending with the words "candy ass." I bet the whiteface will look pretty dumb, though.

How about Bernie Mac for the remake of Mitchell?

Update: According to Greg's Previews, they're only keeping the title and concept, with a fictional main character. And it's set in... Washington State? What the shit? No offense to the fine people of Washington, but how do you have Walking Tall without Tennessee? Instead of busting up moonshiners, maybe he'll rampage through an independently owned bookstore. Well, at least they've got Johnny Knoxville in it as the token hilljack.

Next you'll be telling me they're making John Constantine an American... What's that?

Posted by Jim Treacher at June 8, 2003 09:53 PM
Comments

Keanu Reeves?!?!?!?! Urrrkkk...

Posted by: Andrea Harris at June 9, 2003 09:07 AM

I LOVE the Rock! Especially his suggestion, "Why don't you drink a tall glass of shut-up juice?"

Posted by: Cathy Seipp at June 9, 2003 11:35 AM

Yeah, but as Pusser? Or at least in the sort-of remake of the movie about Pusser's life? Why not just put him in a remake of Annie Hall? As Annie Hall?

Actually, that might be good. "It doesn't matter who your analyst is!!"

Posted by: JT at June 9, 2003 11:44 AM

Or how about remakes of all the Billy Jack movies with Russell Crowe?

After the heresy of subbing Arkin & Falk with Brooks & Douglas, nothing will shock me.

Posted by: Bill Herbert at June 9, 2003 08:19 PM

You know, Pugetopolis (the Seattle-Tacoma-Olympia area) is only a part of Washington State; there's plenty of lumber towns around here, and they're not like Seattle. There's Aberdeen (birthplace of Kurt Cobain), where duct tape is an acceptable replacement for upholstery, and Elma, where it's an acceptable replacement for chrome. And then there's eastern Washington...

Posted by: Jurjen at June 11, 2003 02:40 AM

Well, that's a lot funnier than my idea. Never mind.

Posted by: JT at June 11, 2003 02:47 AM