For the last 20 years, the town of Lisbon, Maine (pop. 5,000) has held an annual event called the Moxie Festival to celebrate a soft drink called -- you guessed it -- Moxie. The soda's been around for over 100 years, and in the '20s it actually outsold Coca-Cola. Sales have fallen off quite a bit since then, of course, but it's still being made and it still has a small-but-fervent following. Over the years, the Moxie Festival has grown into a 3-day extravaganza, with a parade, a car wash, a pancake breakfast, and even one of those medieval dress-up deals where everybody pretends they're Ivanhoe or whatever.
This year's festival takes place the weekend of July 11. I propose that we fly this young woman and this young woman to Lisbon, put a big plastic kiddie pool in the town square, fill it to the rim with Moxie soda, and let the two of them use it as a gladiatorial arena to decide who gets to use the pen name "Moxie." The Brawl for the URL! The Tiff to Claim the .GIF! The Boom Boom Boom for the Nom De Plume!
I also propose that someone take pictures of this event and place them on the Web. Many many pictures.
Update: Now the battle has spread to Tim Blair's. (Or at least someone calling himself "Tim Blair.") Comment wars are one way of settling it, I guess. Just seems to me this whole mess could be better resolved in a different venue, like e-mail or a shower stage.
Update II: Okay, now the catfight can begin. Let the males get in on the action...
Update III: Girls, don't look at the headline. Guys, I don't even need to tell you what to look at. Or some of the girls either, I guess. And I probably shouldn't assume that all of the... oh, never mind.
Update IV: Say, if you're one of the folks going absolutely bonkers in people's comments, with the threats and so on, could you please not do that? And sending crazy e-mail and all that, could you give it a rest? That doesn't do anybody any good. Thanks in advance.
Update V: Is it meme yet?
Update VI: Good advice!
Update VII: Oh, did you feel left out of the Traitor Club, Parrott? You done did it now!
Update VIII: Get them, my pretties! Fly! Fly! Flyyyy!!
Update IX: The probably-inevitable Metafilter thread.
Update X: Ultrablognetic provides a fukn oasis of sanity. (If that permalink isn't working, True Believer, look for the cover of Iron Man #4.)
Update XI: "I MEAN WTF PEOPLE SERIOUSLY"Posted by Jim Treacher at June 11, 2003 07:14 AM