October 11, 2003

Can't I enjoy a simple butt-crack in peace?

Slate has yet another one of those "aybody got they ass hangin' out they pants and what is up with that" stories you see every so often. Now, I enjoy looking at a woman's bran-canyon peeking out of her trousers as much as the next straight dude or gay lady, and I like reading about it almost as much. But it really shrivels my bone when the writer has to ruin things toward the end, in the course of explaining why this butt-cleavage fashion trend continues:

But the strongest argument for the persistence of the trend might simply be that we want to dress like the '70s because we feel like we're starring in a reprise of that decade: Our economy is bad; we're entrenched in an occupation abroad; we mistrust our government at home.

Yeah, that must be it! It couldn't be that guys like girls' asses, and there are more girls with fantastic butt cleavage than with the booblial variety. No, wearing your pants down around your beaver is a fucking political statment, isn't it. It's George W. Bush's fault, just like everything else! WMD = Wow, Mamalicious Dimples! I mean, check it out, his name is BUSH. That's why chicks want to walk around with their BUSH sticking out. Get it?

Jesus Christ. I'm sick to death of you Bush-slurpers and Bush-haters, both camps. You just won't stop. Why can't you people just let me get a semi-wood thinking about two succulent hams rolling around in a tight denim sheath? Huh? Can't a man have one small moment of happiness without being dragged into your bullshit, you fucking bastards?!?

Posted by Jim Treacher at October 11, 2003 08:27 AM