The Onion A.V. Club has a new feature called "Say Something Funny", in which a comedian is given 250 words to do just that. They'll never stretch the definition of "comedian" wide enough to let in a blogger, of course, let alone one with my track record. But why not enter the Land of Make Believe and pretend they did?
I've got 250 words, huh? Let's see... Oh! Here's something funny I can say: "Suck my dick, muthafucka!!!" I guess that's only funny if you can hear the way I said it as I was typing it, which was TOTALLY HILARIOUS.How many words is that? One, two, three... 41 words. Okay. Um... Does "Um..." count as one of the words? You guys should provide some sort of guidelines. I'm not saying that to be critical, just speaking from the other side of the desk, you know? Sometimes you have to work these things out as you go, I understand how it is.
Wow, this is harder than I thought. Do I need to use up the whole 250 words? I think the "suck my dick" thing was pretty funny. If I made an MP3 of me saying that, and then you could link the MP3 to where I wrote that? Like you click on it, and then you hear it? Could we work that out? I mean, it's called "Say Something Funny," not "Type Something Funny." I'm not sure what you people want from me.
Okay, this is pissing me off now. Why don't YOU say something funny? Yeah, come on, slay me. Go ahead, genius. Huh? I can't hear you. Not so easy, is it? Yeah. That's right. Why don't you go back to reviewing Japanese porno cartoons, or, or whatever it is you little fucks do all day, and I won't have to come over there and
Jim Treacher is a "blogger." His web site is jimtreacher.com.