Mother, May I Sleep with Treacher?

Just a few brief items so I can say I posted something today

"My sweaty testicles get good grades" (Last item)

Dear newspaper reporters,

Please don't make shit up. We're paying attention.

Thanks,
The world

When you're getting hangovers only when you haven't been drinking, is that bad?

[Insert series of awful "shoe" puns here]

Original caption:

Alright, get back to work, you.