Mother, May I Sleep with Treacher?

"I'm Wright over there, see?"

Kevin Parrott, the guy who put Micah Wright on my radar* in the first place, has what I think is the best perspective on the whole debacle so far. It was well worth the wait. (Great "remixed" posters, too. Or "re-remixed," I guess.) If you're wondering why I'm so insistent about all this, and why it's been such a long time coming, Kevin explains it all. He was right there in the shit, man, you don't know what it was like! Although I don't share his sense of despair that the whole thing will be swept under the rug... well, actually, maybe he's right about that too.

Plus, Kevin's got one detail I'd completely forgotten about: The Picture. As "proof" that he was ever a Ranger, Wright produced the picture shown here (click to enlarge). And where was he to be found in this snapshot? Kevin has included Wright's directions:

"I am clearly to be seen in the back, third row, on the right."

Now, at first that sounds like he's giving you, oh, what do you call it... information? But then you look at the picture and realize he hasn't really told you anything. It's just vague enough to give the appearance of complying, without actually being of any use whatsoever. If you're so inclined, you might give him the benefit of the doubt that he just made a mistake, didn't think to be more specific. ("I'm the one in green, with the short hair" would have been too vague to get away with that, see...) But if you press him on it, well hey, he gave you the picture and told you where to look, right? What more do you want? Ya right-wing Bu$hie killblogger!

You know what it reminds me of? William H. Macy's character in Fargo. Remember how he was dodging the GMAC guy who kept calling about the big chunk of change he'd defrauded out of them, the phony car loans or whatever, and he kept playing phone tag and making up transparent excuses? The most pathetic moment of all was when he was carefully smudging the VIN numbers for the nonexistent cars on some form he had to send them, or else they were going to start investigating him. You could almost hear him thinking, "Okay, real good then, gotta smear the numbers juuust enough so nobody can read 'em, yah know, but not enough ta look like I did it on purpose. You betcha." Knowing it probably wasn't going to work, but too overwhelmed by his own self-inflicted misery to do anything else. Just desperately trying to delay the inevitable. But finally, he ended up in the wood chipper.

Wait, no, that was Buscemi. What happened to Macy? Oh yeah, I remember: He ended up getting busted and sobbing like a little girl. So you see how it all fits.

Now go.

*Not to try to use military jargon to sound tough or anything.

Posted by Jim Treacher at May 7, 2004 02:51 AM