September 13, 2004

Unidentified Flying Office

Ken Layne compares this whole memo deal to the Majestic 12 documents, which hadhave some folks convinced that the gov't. knows about space aliens that have been zipping around and putting things in people's butts. As Layne points out, Chris Carter bought his own island off that crap.

You know, come to think of it... UFOs are a pretty damn good explanation for these memos, aren't they? Think about it, we've been limiting our thinking to terrestrial word processing programs. "There's no way this Killian dude could have had Microsoft Word back in '72!" Well... what if he did? What if he befriended a friendly alien creature and borrowed its laptop to type up his memos? Everybody knows aliens are way more advanced than Earth folk, so they had Windows in like the '50s probably. Who knows how advanced they would have been by '72? "This thing is blazin', Z'eep! What is it, a Pentium Gajillion?" So Killian typed up those memos on the spaceputer, and then when Z'eep's space friends came to Earth to take him back home, they brought along Dan Rather, who they'd been keeping as a space pet but he kept dumping on the space furniture so they left him down here, and so that's how he knew about the whole alien laptop memo thing, and he's been waiting for 30 years to finally run with it, and that's why the documents match up because of advanced alien technology, and so once again Bush sucks.

I like it! I think I'm gonna go with that explanation. Hey, if you think you can prove me wrong, fire away. Remember: The burden of proof is on you.

Posted by Jim Treacher at September 13, 2004 07:13 PM