Hi! Isn't it a weird coincidence that CBS fell for documents they thought were written in 1972, which was also the last time they updated their Crisis Management manual?
So. My traffic has been Rather heavy (hardy-har-etc.) because of the "Space Unicorns" thing, and I started wondering if anybody at CBS was checking it out. So I combed my visitor logs, if you'll forgive the phrase, several times today. Okay, 150. Folks from the following web domains (in no particular order) were nice enough to stop by:
Army, Navy, Air Force (no Marines that I saw, probably because I'M A PUSSY), the Pentagon, Ford Motors, the House of Representatives, NIH, Budweiser, Daimler-Chrysler, the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, Jack in the Box, MIT, Pixar, Disney, Yale, Harvard, Princeton, American University, the Treasury Department, FDIC, FAA, St. Jude's, Survivors of the Shoah Visual History Foundation, the Dow Jones, MSNBC, the NY Times, the LA Times, the State Department, the Federal Judiciary...
But no CBS! I was hoping to post a screenshot of a visit from CBSNews.com and caption it "Hi, Dan!" But then I realized you couldn't teach him how to use the Internet if you told him it was made of rock candy. Maybe if I carved a blog on a scrap of birchbark and sent it to him by Pony Express.
Anyway. If any of these folks liked what they saw and are back to read this, welcome! Don't worry, I won't tell anybody you're reading my crap when you're supposed to be protecting the country or making computer-animated vertebrates tell fart jokes. [You just did, idiot. -- ed.]
And now there will be beer. Killian's, natch.
P.S. Oh, no way. Number nine... number nine... number nine... Oh well. Fun while it lasted.
P.P.S. Macro-Drunk Micro-Rant: You know, when Jayson Blair got caught with his pants a) down and b) in the wrong ZIP code, at least he had the sense to hide in his apartment and get high. This purring gargoyle is still staring America in the face every night. Or whatever fraction of America is still watching him. No matter what it says on his teleprompter, every word out of his mouth from now on means "Fuck you." [Cue Cheney joke]
Mike Wallace must be crapping his pants even more freely these days. Who's gonna be scared of 60 Minutes anymore? "Oh, Ed Bradley is investigating my string of sweatshop/snuff film studios? Great, tell him to bring along America's Funniest Home Videos!" Say what you want about them, but they've done a lot of good over the decades, and now they've been cut off at the knees by this demented fossil. How they must hate him.
TICK-TICK-TICK-TICK-TICK-TICK-TICK-TICK-TICK-TICK
P.P.P.S. You know that "Buckhead" dude who sparked the whole thing? Turns out he's totally a Republican, even though he was posting to Free Republic. Therefore, MS Word was invented at Woodstock. Halleluiah.
P.P.P.P.S. Not to tell you what to do, but you should read Last and Steyn on this topic if you haven't already. Also, this post from Michele gives you an idea of what Adrian Monk's blog might look like, and I say that with all due respect and affection for both of them.
Posted by Jim Treacher at September 17, 2004 08:02 PM