September 19, 2004

I've never written fanfic before*, but I want to fit in with all the other blogs this morning

X-Files 2: Rather Suspicious
By James F. Treacher

Mulder ran into the door of the X-Files one day. Scully was sitting there reading some papers at her desk, being all librarianishly sexy and shit.

"Hey, Scully!"

"What?"

"Look at these documents!" He threw some photocopies down on her and looked at her like, Hah? She glanced through them quietly for a moment without speaking, her breathtaking eyes rolling across the pages.

"These... Mulder, these are obviously falsities. The dates are in the early 1970's, but they don't look anything like typed documents at the time. And you should know, Mulder, we've got file cabinets full of them in this basement office we've shared at the FBI for years as we've investigated paranormal activity for the government." She held them up, chewing her glasses. "Mulder, where did you get these?"

"That's the question, isn't it?" Mulder started pacing around and running his hands across his dense, full head of hair. He was in a state. "Where did I get them indeed? The ancient Egyptians believed that preserving a pharaoh's corpse would ensure him a place in the 'celestial fields' forever. And yet in 1908, the Tunguska meteor was said to have been felt up to 600 miles away. And then Lenny Bruce suddenly develops a 'heroin habit'? Really? These memos are leading us to something, Scully. Something big, I can feel it!"

"Mulder, what the fuck are you talking about?"

"ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO PRETEND YOU DON'T KNOW?!?" He charged up and slammed his fists on her desk like an angry parent. She flew back out of her chair and landed on the cold tile floor, her prim black skirt riding up over her milky white thighs and her gray silk blouse ripping open to reveal deep, lightly freckled cleavage.

"Mulder, calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down! You think Rove DIDN'T have anything to do with this? Are you BLIND?" He advanced on her, his tousled hair looking great. "Did he get to you? How did he get to you?"

"Alright, Mulder, back off," she growled, unholstering her sidearm. She looked so fucking hot when she did this it's not even funny. "Don't make me shoot, Mulder!" She raised the weapon and was breathing like she was getting nailed real hard.

"I luh... love you, Scully. I love you, but I can't let you get away with this." He jumped.

BLAM!

The... End?

*I've been reminded that this claim is not entirely true. And I'm not sure if this counts or not. Or this (right-click, save).

Posted by Jim Treacher at September 19, 2004 09:10 AM