...but at the same time I'm terrified that if I stop tap-dancing for even a day, my traffic will plummet and people will be even less likely to buy a Blogad. So I'll just run some of your letters to me and call that a post. Is that okay with you? I'm so glad you approve, DAD.
Posted by Jim Treacher at October 12, 2004 10:54 AM*** Piss all over a dead guy why dont you. Your a fucking pussy. You wouldant say that shit if he was alive and could move his limbs. You faget. What did you ever do in your life. I dont see you in any movies. Gay sex movies maybe. I bet you been in some of them.
The Crunchman
*** Hi Jim,
I just wanted to offer up my opinion about that angry dude who keeps e-mailing you. I think he's touched in the head. I bet he thinks IraqWarIsWrongBlog isn't a parody. He probably thinks www.adamyoshida.com is too left-wing. His favorite comic strip is in all likelyhood The Born Loser, or perhaps Howard Huge. I wouldn't be surprised if he was that guy Michele saw handing out carrots and celery on Halloween. If he had a blog, it would probably be called "A Journey Into Reason."
I didn't really have anything else to say. Tell Puce I said good luck with the English lessons. Also, I think the little guy should look into taking some anger management classes.
Patrick Banks
*** Mr. Treacher,
I'm sorry I haven't written earlier. It's been crazy at work, and I know that's no excuse. I guess I've just let things get in the way of our friendship recently, for example our mutual ignorance about the other's existence. I promise I won't let that get in the way again. Who am I kidding? We both know we'll make attempts to keep in touch, but slowly we'll find the same old excuses not to write, "I'm busy," "I've got people in town," "I'm outside of Vegas with a dead stripper and a dull shovel," etc. I just wanted you to know, since I've come to know of your gloriousness (I proclaim this a real word), colors seem brighter, children seem to laugh more, and there is music in the parks. May your Treacherocity (see gloriousness) forever wave.
Hope you feel better,
[Name withheld by request]*** What I vote for is you ripping off lame cartoonists and replacing lame dialog balloons with smart, snappy dialog balloons.
Or making fart noises with your armpit, which I can't hear anyway.
Beryl Gray
*** Thanks so much for the email. Due to the volume of mail this may be the only response you see.
While I do not always see it in a timely fashion I do try to read all of my mail. However, I average over 1000 letters a day and there is no way I can respond to most letters.
I am glad you are listening and even though you may not see a response, I want you to know that I am listening as well.
Thanks,
Glenn Beck*** how can you support those liberals bob and david ??
i used to think that s*ht [shit -- ed.] was funny - then i got taught how to read BETWEN THE LINES!
those guys are just to the left of "left behind"!
sometimes values gotta matter, right, treach?
gerald
*** Hey Jim--
Can't help you with the book deal, since I'm a travel editor. But! I do edit our blog (www.fodors.com/blog). Check it out when you have a chance. My proudest moment so far.
Seriously, don't expect editors to go after you, because they tend to be really behind the times, and then paying too much once they do notice. That's why agents are able to extract that 15%--by getting editors to pay attention.
Best,
John RambowP.S. While I'm thinking about it: you really ought to do some more of those nasty comics with the freshly written dialogue. They crack my ass up. In a good, manly way.
*** Heya, Jim.
Why should you read "Columbus, the first terrorist!"?
Because it's funny, and I wrote it just for you, and you wouldn't want to hurt my feelings by not even reading it, would you? You aren't that cruel, are you?
You should link to it too. I mean, it's only right.
Happy Columbus Day,
Sean Gleeson