October 15, 2004

Sorry, but this is an emergency: Puce has run away

I really do not need this, today of all days. When I went out back this morning to take Puce his daily bowl of scraps and his "laptop" (a Cheerios box with the front cut open so it flips up), his chain was broken and the little "Indian hogan" he built out there was even more of a shambles than usual. The only clue I found was this:


All he's been talking about for the last couple of days is "Clock Country, Clock Country, Clock Country," so I guess this is supposed to sway one of those Ohio voters. Or maybe it's a rough draft? Is he actually on his way over there to hand-deliver something very much like this? You know, that's probably it... Goddamn it. Well, I guess I should find out which name and address the Guardian gave him and warn those poor folks he's on his way. I just do not need this shit today.

Posted by Jim Treacher at October 15, 2004 01:15 PM

If my pet ever pulled a stunt like that...well...I don't know what I'd do. You can't, though, hold yourself blameless, I expect. Also, " On October 20 we will publish a selection of the most persuasive letters..." worries me. Puce's note is persuasive beyond all measure.

Posted by: Curtis at October 15, 2004 06:56 PM

He better run that liberal butt pirate.

Posted by: Capt. Americrunch at October 15, 2004 06:58 PM

Talk about laugh ... I almost pissed myself! Thanks.

Posted by: Dog at October 15, 2004 07:01 PM

I am saddened to learn that Puce has better penmanship than myself.

Posted by: Kevin Parrott at October 15, 2004 07:40 PM

Intelligence sources have noted a dramatic spike in "chatter" among members of Springfield, OH's small, close-knit Romanian expat community. Intercepts include "coded" phrases like "FAT AS RADNAK VOT AS BUSK DY!" which have puzzled government cryptologists.

Posted by: Paul Dubuc at October 15, 2004 11:55 PM

I know I'm persuaded.

Posted by: RebeccaH at October 16, 2004 09:26 AM