November 08, 2004

King of Spleen

please_save_us_patton.PNGPatton Oswalt* had a really bad time on the evening of November 2, 2004. He writes about it here.

Update: A helpful reader passes along this e-mail conversation he had with the lovable CBS personality on that very topic:

From: Red S. Tate (
To: Patton Oswalt (
Subject: Three cheers for what you wrote about election night!

Dear Diary,

As I watched the election results on my big-screen HDTV while swilling top-shelf liquor, both of which I paid for with just a minuscule share of the enormous cash torrent that flows across the entire world into my chosen field of industry every single second of every single day, I realized just how much America fucking sucks. If I didn't have to be on the set in the morning, I'd totally overthrow the government.

Power to the people (who agree with me),
Patton Oswalt

P.S. The 2004 election used to be a referendum on the war, but now it wasn't, retroactively, because the guy I voted for didn't win.

Just kidding & tee-hee,
Red S. Tate


Subject: Re: Three cheers for what you wrote about election night!

Half. How much half of America sucks.



From: Red
To: Patton

Well, 51% / 286, but I see your point. Personally, I wouldn't want to take a 51% pay cut if I could help it. (Down at the Wal-Mart. As I like to say to anyone who'll listen, "Them shelves don't stock theirselves!") But I do admire your principles.


Update 2: Daniel Frank asks, "Wouldn't that be a 53-54% pay cut?" FASCIST!

*He appears on the situation comedy The King of Queens. Or so I've read. He's also a standup comedian who I have found to be funny.

Posted by Jim Treacher at November 8, 2004 04:39 AM