November 10, 2004

Sorry, "Sorry, Everybody"

Okay, NOW all the links to these wonderful pictures should work, with an unhelpful comment about each one, regardless of who actually holds power in this country:

A vote against gay marriage. *** What, determining your gender? *** "...to... uh..." *** A young Gordon Sumner, in every way possible. *** Isn't it ironic? Doncha think? *** And then she turns them over and they say, "It's. Contagious." *** Who wants to bet his name is Sunshine and she hasn't been able to find a guy yet who likes him? *** I think "mistakes" might be a bit too self-critical, my friend, but I can see your point. *** ATTN: Child Protective Services. *** "I wish they were bigger too." *** Injury to the Eye motif. *** Prison tattoos are tough to replicate when all you've got is MS Paint and a hangover. *** "We got Coronas, though, dude. You want a Corona?" *** I don't have anything sarcastic to say about this one, but I would like to complain about her cropping skills. *** Another vote against gay marriage. *** How much? You take U.S. dollars, right? *** You just know that if you take her up on it, she'll get pissed when you remind her that she used the plural, "hugs." *** And yet another vote against gay marriage. (At first I was skeptical about this "Jesusland" stuff, but now I'm starting to wonder.) *** Well, make sure you tear up that DNR order, then. *** I don't think this guy understood what he just wrote. (Or maybe he did.) *** Heh. *** See, I can't even tell when people are being ironic anymore. *** I don't think you're going to have to worry about it for a looooong time, son. *** There was a thing with gay marriage and the pickle, but I just couldn't get the wording right. *** Okay, so maybe she doesn't keep up with recent events across the globe, but what a doll! *** I'm guessing "No," but I've been wrong before. *** Genetics, pal. Learn to live with it. *** I've already run the "gay marriage" thing into the ground, so I'll just link to this one because I like hot art students. *** 28 is enough, isn't it? Too many, probably. No. They keep uploading more and more pics. *** Tone up that bod a little, toots, and maybe you won't be so familiar with the flaccid ones. *** He was paying so much attention, in fact, that it totally distracted him from his minoxidil regimen. *** Okay, but at least the handful of us who finished grade school know how to make an "N." *** Wow, I guess snuff films aren't a myth. *** Dear Abby... (Ha ha, you must get that a lot. But seriously, I love you and I apologize too. Everybody's so phony, you know? But I feel like you and I have a connection. Please e-mail more pictures.) *** Have fun on your next trip to the bank! *** Evidence to the contrary. *** "We. Ate. All. The. Candy." *** Honestly, he doesn't look a day over 50 to me. *** Note to Tim Blair: Clear off the couch, and whatever you do, don't mention the election down there. *** Thanks, but no need. By this point we've actually gotten used to Jim Belushi. *** You know what would really show those fascists? If you beat 'em to the punch and enlisted. "Take that, Chimpy!" *** I don't know what he's been doing, but doesn't Kevin Smith look great? *** Don't worry, Quentin, I'm sure the next one will make money. *** If the gentlemen could please all adjourn to the next room, the ladies can begin. *** Anybody know which parish this priest was from? *** I don't know if this guy speaks for the whole town, but I'm glad somebody there is finally willing to say it. *** Which one was the angry Smurf? Was he just called Angry Smurf? *** This dude actually put some thought into the symbolism and stuff. (I think? If only I'd gone to college.) *** What, the other 67.9% don't keep calling you "Sir"? *** Free advice, folks: Juxtaposition. You really need to think about it as you're composing the shot. *** Look on the bright side, man, you've got a guaranteed no-show job for life at Mad Magazine. *** Okay, I really have things to do today. Places to go, homos to execute in accordance with the Holy Bible, you know how it is.

P.S. Sorry if you think it's unfair, but these people are uploading these pictures themselves. It's not like the various mullet sites, or Fat Chicks in Party Hats, or any of those. These brave heroes have gone out of their way to present themselves to the public like this. Me, I made the mistake of posting my picture on the Internet once, and I still haven't heard the end of it.

P.P.S. Quick correction.

P.P.P.S. A few more.

P.P.P.P.S. And ya don't stop.

P.P.P.P.P.S. Well, they keep posting them, don't they.

Posted by Jim Treacher at November 10, 2004 10:40 AM