Mother, May I Sleep with Treacher?

I got nothing.

Unique? Uncheck

Well-crafted? Uncheck

I'm goin' with Keith. Better'n being "so sorry", though.

Sorry, world.

We were only able to get 60% of the Republican vote out to the polls. We missed a great chance to show how little we care what you think.

The "sorry" posts were the best posts ever. Please do not stop abusing those people. You're helping them, really.

Oops, I had a misspelling. That should have been "best posts EVAR."

Two aces, two sixes and some smelly foreign guy out back sleeping in my hydrangeas.

A rash. Worse, it's the kind you can't scratch in public without being arrested. Any further details would just be embarassing.

Best Ol' Dirty rhyme:
"I teach the truth to the youth
I say, hey youth, here's the truth"

I read in the weekly Parade magazine that the Farrelly brothers seriously want Russell Crowe for the part of Moe in their Three Stooges movie. And he's interested.

"CUT!! Russell, how many times do we have to tell you? SLAP! Not PUNCH!"

I got smelly, hairy, fuzzy armpits, because, as any crazy preacher can tell you, as a member of a democracy i don't shave them.

I've got the world on a string, sitting on a rainbow. I've got the string around my finger.

No, wait a minute -- maybe it's just the drugs.

I have a pome 4 U Treaker 'There was and old ladys who lived in a shoe she had so many children her vagina's fell off'

I got the fear!

i got rhythm...

I got...mojo. Lot's o' mojo. I'm pretty much drippin' with the stuff.

I got that fresh, summere's eve feeling.

"I got a competition clutch with a four on the floor."
Those wacky Beach Boys and their sexual innuendos.

I got... to get back to work or my boss is gonna fire my ass for giggling at picture after picture of some lame ass telling the world how sorry they are. WE KNOW YOU'RE SORRY! Now when are you citizenship papers coming from Canada anyway?

"Dear red states and the rest of the world- Sorry you have a problem with democracy. Suck it!"

Those puppies are all gay.

Well, that's what I've HEARD....

Jim,
The test came back positive and you are on the shortlist of responsible parties. We have to straighten this out ASAP.

I got a site I can't get to linked in the post above. Did you hose it? Has it been Treached?

Dont worry about the above post. It was just raw materials for some smoothies.

30 HESH, 5 APFSDS, 12 Smoke, 2500 4BIT, 600 litres of Dieso, 3 Days RATS, 80 Litres Water.

Good to go!

I've got a little black book with my poems in it. I've got a bag with toothbrush and a comb in it. I've got elastic bands keepin' my shoes on. I've got those swollen hand blues. I've got thirteen channels of shit on the TV to choose from. I've got electric light. I've got second sight. I've got amazing powers of observation. I've got the obligatory Hendrix perm and the inevitable pinhole burns all down the front of my favorite satin shirt. I've got nicotine stains on my fingers. I've got a silver spoon on a chain. I've got a grand piano to prop up my mortal remains. I've got wild staring eyes. And I've got a strong urge to fly. I've got a pair of Gohills boots. And I've got fading roots. But wait, there's more! I've got a sixty-nine Chevy with a 396, fuelie heads and a Hurst on the floor! And you wanna know what else, pal? She's waiting tonight down in the parking lot outside the Seven-Eleven store. Plus, I've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and I'm wearing sunglasses.

Whatta you got?

I've got the fever for the flavor of a Pringles.

I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.

I think Puce actually *has* wild-staring eyes and a strong urge to fly.

I gotta get outa here.

I got you babe.

mmmbapammmbapammmmbapammmmbapapa.....
I gooooooooooooooooooooot
you babe.

Dorkafork, that is just too gross.

I got myself a forty
I got myself a shorty
and I'm about to go and stick it
said I'm about to go and stick it.

I realize this is a lyric by a member of Wu Tang who DIDN'T die this week. It would be so much more topical if it were, but the bit stands.

Also, I realize I have none of the things listed above. I do have 5 o'clock in the morning, by the computer lab clock, and a screenplay I'm working on, pages of which I have to have for class tomorrow at ten. On my way to the bathroom just now I commiserated with the lab attendant about Achewood, which he was reading.

And we wonder why we are pale.

I got an idea for a place. Enough with those meals and cooking and shit places, I say offer cereal. Have a guy come to the bar, scoot him a bowl, and say, "What'll it be?" He'll look over the rows of boxes behind the bar, point to a box of Kaboom! or Frosted Flakes or something like Honey Bunches of Oats if he's some kind of asswipe, say "Make it a double" and then I'll fill it up with crunchy goodness. "Want 2%, Mac?" "Glass of orange juice?" "How's the Missus?" I could be Wolfgang Puck with a cereal bowl.

To paraphrase Steve Martin, give me a million in real estate, I'll show you $500 cash.