Jim Treacher's Blog That Is on the Internet

Well, her lower back was probably exhausted.

All I wanted was a Pepsi...

(1) You're wackadoodle kuh-razee!

(2) Are you implying those weren't real? I hear lots of celeb chicks get ta-ta reductions. Then again, I don't recall Punky Brewster having chrome valve stems like Lindsay.

(3) If they ban Muslim terrorism plots on TV, where will Hindu actors find work?

Personally, I found the idea of muslim terrorists so over-the-top unbelievable that I didn't take it seriously, but CAIR's Islamic panties are certainly in a bunch about 24: http://www.cair-net.org/default.asp?Page=articleView&id=1390&theType=NR

Wow. The CAIR article talks about their religion being attacked. I'm thinking it's been attacked worse by the Islamic terrorists than by any cheesy screenplay.

(Oh, can we make the parents any more one-dimensional?)

Besides driving me to irrational hatred of the stereotypical suburban Muslim housewife, 24 has succeeded in making me resent stereotypical career-driven black females who routinely use sex and extortion to further their rise to power.

I'm also led to conclude that annoying, marginally attractive blondes will casually and sneakily disobey orders from direct superiors in times of national crisis in order to follow the counter-terrorist preachings of a dreamy vigilante.

I'm forced to believe that female government officials will use their national emergency powers to cover for their mentally disturbed children.

I have learned that black counter-terrorist officers will follow strict protocol when dealing with terrorist suspects, but will willingly push the envelope when dealing with a white youth who might know something interesting about the kidnapping of his father.

Based on the insensitive teachings of 24, I have determined that chubby, unattractive men with lisps are highly susceptible to manipulation by female co-workers.

It's not a pretty picture, folks. I can't just stop with blowing up mosques. I've got a lot of new-found ignorant hatred to indulge.

It doesn't metter, I'll probably get hit by a car anyway.

Well, anybody who supports CAIR, or any other organization like it, is a 5th columnist, since the avowed goal of these Muslim-advocacy organizations, at least according to their leaders, is to turn the United States into an Islamic theocracy. Disapprovng of Islam on that basis is not racism or prejudice, it is common sense. Anyone who wants to turn the US into a religious theocracy (of any variety) is a traitor and should be treated as such.

Shows like '24' depict Muslims as terrorists because that is exactly what they are. Anyone who believes that the Constitution should be replaced by the Koran doesn't belong in this country.

That being said, it would be hard for ANYONE on the show, not just the Muslims, to be more one-dimensional. I approach it as a cartoon, so I don't have to worry too much about how silly the whole thing is. But who says you can't enjoy silly TV?

Not to be contrary, but I think it's possible that some Muslims might not be terrorists.

That is entirely possible. However, to the extent that a Muslim (ethinicity being entirely irrelevant) citizen of this country subscribes to the "bring the US under the Caliphate" policy ennunciated by the organizations which purport to represent Muslims in the US, he or she is a traitor. They may or may not blow people up, but they are just as dedicated to the eventual disappearance of the US as we know it as any terrorist. To the extent that they do not support this policy, then fine.

This is not just a Muslim thing, either. I feel the same way about those Christian fundamentalists who wish to impose their version of a Christian theocracy here, too. And if there were a (insert religion of choice here) group that sought to subvert the Constitution and the secular, pluralistic democracy it has taken this country more than 200 years to build, I would feel the same way about them too. (You may insert your favorite anti-Bush joke here if you wish.) I would like to think that I am fairly ecumenical in this particular area.

Perhaps '24' will next do a show on the Posse Comitatus or the Klan or something. So far, however, Timothy McVeigh not withstanding, they have proven to be far less intelligent, organized, resourceful or dedicated than their Muslim counterparts, so the show would probably not be very interesting.

I have been watching "24" for the past 3 seasons.

Keeping a "Bauer Bodycount" is a nice way to pass the show. Kinda bummed - 4 shows, and only 2 deaths plus one act of mayhem. Slow start, Jack.

BTW - bummer about Lindsay's tits. Her only redeeming quality.

Blah blah blah Muslim this stereotype that. KIM IS GONE! Let's all join together in our united hatred for "The Useless Bimbo Who Actually Got Caught In A Bear Trap And Stalked By A Mountain Lion Once" and sing kumbaya!

These pretzels are making me thirsty.

Jim,

Name six

Wha? My 24 body count is 73.

37 pax greased in the train wreck
4 nerds greased in the hackers den
5 SS guys greased when the SecDef was kidnapped
3 terrorists greased by the SecDef in his escape attempt
1 girlfriend greased by terror mom
1 terrorist self-martyred by cement truck
21 terrorists greased when Jack + Marines hit the terror bunker
1 terrorist greased by doe-eyed terror-Dawson