February 22, 2005

Dear Googlers:

No, the guy who played Napoleon Dynamite is not dead. Okay? The complete lack of news coverage of such an incident might have been your first clue.

However, I totally heard that [fill in the blank, commenters].

Posted by Jim Treacher at February 22, 2005 11:51 PM
Comments

Oh, I'm glad you posted this. My 15 year old daughter came home from school last week saying she'd heard that rumor several times, and I looked online and didn't find anything about it. I didn't even think about checking Snopes.

Posted by: Trish at February 23, 2005 12:05 AM

I totally heard that Steve from Blues Clues was arrested for exposing himself to children.

(Really.)

Posted by: michele at February 23, 2005 03:01 AM

I heard that the guitarist for Korn has found God, and left the band.

Posted by: Keith at February 23, 2005 06:14 AM

I heard that, leaked track notwithstanding, the new Nine Inch Nails album is all smooth jazz.

(P.S. Michele, I literally heard Blues Clues Steve's album that came out last year and it was kind of good.)

Posted by: Nathan at February 23, 2005 06:47 AM

...that the answers to life's questions can be found at the bottom of a whiskey bottle. Still verifying.

Posted by: Hubris at February 23, 2005 08:11 AM

I heard that someone has some memos that prove that George W never served his time in the TANG. One of the big networks should look into that, it might make a huge story.

Posted by: Matt at February 23, 2005 10:23 AM

...that's there's a new craze sweeping the nation and it's called Pocky.

Posted by: Shawn at February 23, 2005 12:27 PM

I hate to break it to you all, but Napolean Dynamite is NOT among the living! It's true! You see, what happened is that he's a fictional character, dumbasses.

Sheesh.

Posted by: Jason at February 23, 2005 08:25 PM

Paul is dead. Anyone who looks at the facts knows it. That's not Paul. That's this guy they went and used instead.

Posted by: Jim at February 23, 2005 09:10 PM

"No, the guy who played Napoleon Dynamite is not dead."

Which part of that did you not understand, Jason?

Posted by: michele at February 24, 2005 05:20 AM

Give him a break Michele. It's hard to, you know, read every word in a sentence.

Posted by: Nathan at February 24, 2005 08:52 AM

There are apparently some people who watched the movie but didn't enjoy it. They don't have a sense of humor, or possibly were the kinds of jocks who picked on people like ND in real life.

Posted by: Josh at February 24, 2005 11:09 AM

I totally heard that a kitten with its tail stuck in a manhole is the funniest thing ever.

Posted by: Andrew at February 24, 2005 04:38 PM

I heard that Blink 182 broke up...as in disintegrated.

Posted by: Steven A. Adams at February 24, 2005 06:38 PM

I totally heard that Dubya and Helen Thomas have a "thing" goin' on.
No, it`s true, I`ve got my ace reporter on it right now, trying to get a scoop.

Posted by: Joatmoaf at February 24, 2005 06:39 PM

I totally heard that Osama bin Laden used to be a bike courier in Peshawar.

Posted by: Andrew at February 24, 2005 06:57 PM