February 05, 2006

I hereby propose the "Not All" rule for all you budding journalists out there

For example, let's say you're composing the following sentence: "Muslims burned down the Danish embassy in Beirut today." Whoa there, pardner! That's about as appropriate as a bare-ankled woman in the country of Saudi Arabia! Try this instead: "Not all Muslims burned down the Danish embassy in Syria today." See how much better that is? Instead of describing something that actually happened, you're telling the reader how she (or he) should think. And isn't that your job, really?

So if you're about to write something that might offend somebody out there, just remember the "Not All" rule. Now go get 'em, cub reporters!

Posted by Jim Treacher at February 5, 2006 12:54 PM

Ever notice how when a threat comes out of the third world, or the over-compensated second world (Saudi Arabia), they seem to be burning energies that we in the States had beaten out of us at recess in second grade?

Other guys have prettier girlfriends than you do... (DEAL WITH IT!)

Taller guys are better at football (SUCK IT UP!)

Some guys at the office make more money (READ THE FUCKING MANUAL, DICKWEED)

In global terms, this one really feels like the grown-ups vs the children.

Does anyone doubt that when the extremist Muslims (and others) perform as well as westerners do, that they'll do as well?

Posted by: Crid at February 5, 2006 07:51 PM

OK, that came out like a tautology, because I had wine after work. What I meant was, if lower-class, non-royal Saudis thought they could get blown by Pamela Anderson like all the Americans are, they probably wouldn't make so much trouble, would they? But first, they have to learn how to play drums in moronic rock bands.

Posted by: Crid at February 5, 2006 10:09 PM

"...blown by Pamela Anderson like all the Americans are..."

Dammit! I've got to get out of the house more!

Posted by: Sortelli at February 6, 2006 02:16 AM

Muhammad took it up the ass.

I mean.... Not all men gave it to Muhammad up the ass.

This is hard... am I doing it right?

Posted by: Jack B. at February 6, 2006 04:25 AM

Jack: Not all men screwed not all Mohammeds up not all their asses. Didn't they all?

Posted by: Sigivald at February 6, 2006 11:51 AM