November 08, 2006

Questions from a political dilettante

  • Does this mean Bush is still Hitler? I'm pretty sure Hitler never let his opponents win an election, did he? Unless... this is all part of Rove's plan.
  • A major concern of the last few elections has been that Republicans need to cheat to win, and the problem was going to be even worse with the new Diebold machines. What happened? Did Cheney forget his password again? That darn Cheney, always forgetting his password.
  • What happened to Ned? I thought Lieberman was Public Enemy #1. Now Kos must feel like the kid on Christmas morning who's surrounded by toys... except for the one he really wanted.
  • Does Nancy Pelosi ever wear a fake flower on her lapel that shoots acid? Because that would really be a surprise for Batman when he's hauling her to Commissioner Gordon's office.
  • So the world likes us again, right? No more terrorism? YAY!!!

(now go here)

Posted by Jim Treacher at November 8, 2006 01:41 PM
Comments

Is Pelosi more like the Joker or that Catwoman thing that was on the TV show?

I'm going with the Joker. The face just looks like she was dumped in toxic waste one too many times.

Posted by: Tman at November 8, 2006 03:32 PM

I'm curious to see what the Dems will do now that they can stop shitting their diapers over the conthpirathies.

Posted by: Zelda at November 8, 2006 04:15 PM

The loss of the Senate was engineered to get the Republicans to agree that Harriet Myers is the best they can get. Other than that, what ever happens in the last 2 years of a second term? Just let the Dems out of their cages for a couple years while the Republican staffers get some R&R before the next big push.

Posted by: pedestrian at November 8, 2006 04:30 PM

Oh Jim, you've missed it by a wide margin. Take a look at who won all those close elections. They may be Dems, but look at what they actually said and what they believe. Jim Webb is a liberal? Jon Tester? Heath Shuler?!?! Rove wins again. He just did it under a different party name this time. We don't need to fix the elections when Dems concede the primaries to closet conservatives.

Posted by: The Apologist at November 8, 2006 04:54 PM

Heh. The Joker comparison seems so obvious now...

Posted by: Frank J. at November 8, 2006 05:12 PM

Sounds like you're a sore loser.....

Posted by: Cat Woman at November 8, 2006 05:37 PM

"Oh Jim, you've missed it by a wide margin... Rove wins again."

This is what I am saying!

"Sounds like you're a sore loser..."

What can I say, I thought Ned had a shot.

Posted by: Jim Treacher at November 8, 2006 05:42 PM

You're all wrong: Katie Couric is the Joker.

If the Democrats had lost, it would have proved the GOP hacked Diebold. Since the Democrats won, it proves the GOP hacked Diebold incompetently.

Posted by: albo at November 9, 2006 06:25 AM

No no, I'm Spartacus...er, the Joker. No, wait...

Posted by: mikeski at November 9, 2006 07:20 AM

Let me just say that I, for one, welcome our new Democratic Overlords...

Posted by: Dmac at November 9, 2006 07:55 AM

The Republican/Diebold conspirators HAD to let the Democrats win this time, otherwise, people would have figured it out.

Posted by: justin case at November 9, 2006 10:48 AM

Dmac - oh, so you're comparing the Democrats to giant ants now?

Nice, really nice.

(After http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/003747.html)

Posted by: Brian at November 9, 2006 12:29 PM

Let the comedy begin.

Personally, I'm fond of the Democrats who even today are saying "We need a new plan for Iraq."

Ok, you've won. What's the new plan?

Posted by: Tim at November 9, 2006 12:54 PM

I heard shortly after Virginia called the election, Karl Rove morphed into Jim Webb like that cyborg in Terminator II. That will really surpirse the dems at the next session of congress!!! Victory is still ours!! (insert evil sinister laugh here)

BTW Congrats on your posting to OpinionJournal.com

Posted by: Rob In New Hampshire at November 9, 2006 01:00 PM

"Nice, really nice."

Now, what's wrong with using an ant analogy in this situation? Think about it - ants are industrious, everyone works for the benefit of the colony, the Queen gets to eat her competition if she gets the chance...er, skip that last part.

Posted by: Dmac at November 9, 2006 02:56 PM

I am pretty surprised myself. I thought we were supposed to be running a highly efficient fascist regime here. And now, we can't even win an election? I mean, I've read all the research. What happened with suspending the electoral process? Why is constitution still in effect? What about our plans to declare martial law? Suspend Congress? We are doing none of it. And I was looking forward to coronation, too. :( Bummer.

Posted by: WhatHappened at November 9, 2006 05:03 PM

I've been pondering the whole facisttotalitariantheocracy thing myself - I mean, elections? ELECTIONS? Where are the storm troopers? Where's the martial law? Why are all these Democrats running around loose? I want my police state back, dammit!

Posted by: holly at November 9, 2006 05:12 PM

"I'm going with the Joker."

Let's not forget the very important role of Two-Face in American politics.

Posted by: Mister Snitch! at November 9, 2006 05:12 PM

BAM! POW! TWIST! UPPER KICK TO THE JAW! Bleeding Bandidos Batman - great questions.

You can take Kerry's mask off while you're at it.

Wait, that's not a mask...

Posted by: T. at November 9, 2006 05:13 PM

Um, I swear WhatHappened's comment wasn't there when I was typing mine. We just happened to be thinking exactly the same thing. Weird.

Posted by: holly at November 9, 2006 05:16 PM

Each of these should be made into a single-panel comic strip that I can pin to my cube--er, rather, mahogany office door. (On the internet, no-one knows you're a dog.)

Seriously. There should be an inverse caption contest here, where people submit pictures to go with these captions. Best picture/caption combo wins a truck-load of "George Allen '08" bumperstickers.

Posted by: ss at November 9, 2006 05:20 PM

Bitter much?

Posted by: nynick at November 9, 2006 05:23 PM

"Bitter much?"

Boy, you Lieberman supporters are brutal!

Posted by: Jim Treacher at November 9, 2006 05:28 PM

Apologist,

"Jim Webb is a liberal? Jon Tester? Heath Shuler?!?! Rove wins again. He just did it under a different party name this time. We don't need to fix the elections when Dems concede the primaries to closet conservatives."

Closet conservatives that believe in oversight, believe in a system of checks and balances, believe in raising the minimum wage, a real attempt at fiscal responsibility. Your closet conservative is my conservative Democrat.

Posted by: nynick at November 9, 2006 05:29 PM

Apologist,

"Jim Webb is a liberal? Jon Tester? Heath Shuler?!?! Rove wins again. He just did it under a different party name this time. We don't need to fix the elections when Dems concede the primaries to closet conservatives."

Closet conservatives that believe in oversight, believe in a system of checks and balances, believe in raising the minimum wage, a real attempt at fiscal responsibility. Your closet conservative is my conservative Democrat.

Posted by: nynick at November 9, 2006 05:29 PM

Mr. T,

What? Expected a delusional rant? Maybe tomorrow, it's getting late and I'm tired.

Posted by: nynick at November 9, 2006 05:45 PM

so what is Puce's take on the whole thing? He must be dancing in the streets now.

Posted by: Michael Lonie at November 9, 2006 05:56 PM

Time to let the loonies run the bin for a bit.

Posted by: spacemonkey at November 9, 2006 06:31 PM

The far left really has no wins here other than Pelosi and maybe the ouster of Santorum.

They still will writhe in agony about how the people 'dumber' than them keep succeeding, as described here.

http://futurist.typepad.com/my_weblog/2006/06/a_take_on_the_l.html

Posted by: Twok at November 9, 2006 06:41 PM

I'm sorry.

Posted by: J. Peden at November 9, 2006 06:43 PM

No more homeless! No more AIDS! No more drug problem! No more war! We'll all live in gingerbread homes with chocolate graham cracker roofs, sleeping on cotton candy pillows and dreaming marshmallow fluff dreams, as the orange cream moon shines through our sugar glass windows!

Posted by: Kevin Parrott at November 9, 2006 06:51 PM

"Bitter much?"

"Bitter much?"

I guess he WANTS this post to be bitter so badly he has to pretend that's what he sees. Sorry, fella. You're confusing this group with the LEFT after a loss.

Posted by: Mister Snitch! at November 9, 2006 06:52 PM

Catfight coming: Pelosi vs. Hillary

Posted by: Jaysane at November 9, 2006 06:58 PM

Ah, we never thought Bush was like Hitler. We were just saying that to make you feel bad.

We, on the other hand, are exactly as you've been portraying us for years. So heads up, dhimmis, 'cause we're flying Osama in on a Lear jet to take over Amerikkka. Radical Islam totally rocks!

Oh, and what makes it worse is, we're going to make you all get gay-married before Osama comes, and when he sees you all gay-married he'll get pissed and knock a wall on top of you.

Plus we're raising your taxes and Gary Sinese doesn't get to do those Fourth of July from Our Nation's Capital things anymore.

Sweet dreams! PS Michael Moore says boo.

Posted by: roy edroso at November 9, 2006 07:12 PM

"Gay-married" is a verb?

Posted by: Brian Jones at November 9, 2006 08:00 PM

"We, on the other hand, are exactly as you've been portraying us for years. So heads up, dhimmis, 'cause we're flying Osama in on a Lear jet to take over Amerikkka. Radical Islam totally rocks!"

LOL LOL :) :) :)

Posted by: Jim Treacher at November 9, 2006 09:13 PM

Republicans didn't try to rig the election! Everyone knows that computer hackers are liberals!

Posted by: Michael at November 9, 2006 09:14 PM

You know that dimple on Nancy Pelosi's chin? That's not a dimple, it's her navel. The woman is one more face-lift away from looking like Abe Lincoln... Or maybe Vladimir Lenin.

Posted by: Clyde at November 10, 2006 03:37 AM

The irony of posting on the internet about how AmeriKKKa was being turned into a fascist police state never seemed to sink in.

Posted by: Bandit at November 10, 2006 05:28 AM

Bush. Worst Hitler Ever. I have high hopes for Hillary though; kinda Hitlery, kinda Nixony, very Bitchy.

Posted by: comrade X at November 10, 2006 08:13 AM

homelessness is over. We are all friends with Europeans. It is a time for art and artists. We'll take a mulligan with islam. Africa is like Iowa, except they call corn something else. Oil prices will go down and the world is like one big guitar riff from a really good rock concert in the 70s, back when you could smoke in public and everyone would have sex with you if you shared your sandwich.

Posted by: rod at November 10, 2006 09:01 AM

"Oh, and what makes it worse is, we're going to make you all get gay-married before Osama comes, and when he sees you all gay-married he'll get pissed and knock a wall on top of you."

Apparently, HeadStart really isn't working out so well these days.

Posted by: Dmac at November 10, 2006 09:52 AM

How long will it take for Karl Rove to realize he needs to blame the GOP loss on the Libertarians. The LP candidate got more votes in Montana than the GOP incumbent lost by. Same thing happened in Washington state several years ago when LP defections from the GOP elected Maria Cantwell and threw the Senate to the Democrats.

Posted by: Richard Fields at November 10, 2006 10:05 AM

1. Bush isn't Hitleresque anymore now that he emerged from Der Bunkerweisshaus to see that the reds who took over aren't going to hang, shoot, mutilate, and burn him if he gives a nice press conference.

2. Bush changed the password back to 1-2-3-4, even after Rove forced him to change it to something less obvious.

3. "Joementum" beats "Better Off Ned" any yard sign of any election.

4. Batman lives in Gotham, silly. It's Michael Douglas who will get the wrath of Pelosi. And to take an intentionally mis-disunderstood pop culture reference one step further, don't look at Ms. Pelosi when she uncrosses and crosses her legs. It will make you and Newman all sweaty and stuff.

5. No, the world still doesn't like us. They're still sore about us even showing up in their soccer tournament. Sure, we lie down and never produce any offence, but we're still taking the place of some more deserving country. Like Finland or Fiji or Burkina Faso.


Posted by: jon at November 10, 2006 11:29 AM

"a system of checks and balances"

When that phrase was originally coined in the American context it was referring to how each branch had a counter for the desicions of the two branches in case on desicion was horribly bad. It doesn't refer to anything else and any time it is meant to mean something that isn't like how the Executive Branch vetoes and the Legislative Branch can use a Supermajority to overcome a veto then the phrase is being misused and the person should be tape-gagged, locked into a room with Sam Kinison.

Posted by: Chris Arndt at November 11, 2006 01:47 AM

"believe in raising the minimum wage, a real attempt at fiscal responsibility"

fiscal responsiblity and a belief in raising the minimum wage are mutually exclusive concepts.

Period.

Posted by: Chris Arndt at November 11, 2006 01:48 AM

"How long will it take for Karl Rove to realize he needs to blame the GOP loss on the Libertarians. The LP candidate got more votes in Montana than the GOP incumbent lost by."

No. What Karl Rove needs to realize is that he should convince the Libertarians to run as Republicans.

if the Republicans were more like Libertarians, only pro-life, they'd get more votes.

Oddly, I think if Republicans took the usual Libertarian view on abortion (but not the universal Libertarian view on abortion) they'd still lose...

Posted by: Chris Arndt at November 11, 2006 01:51 AM

Apparently Bush confused the computer which controls the Diebold voting machines with the one he used to control gasoline prices.

I have to admit I am rather eager to see how the Dems try to blame Bush after they screw things up.

Posted by: Ubiquitous at November 13, 2006 04:36 AM