September 05, 2008

Us Weekly is losing subscribers like Jann Wenner loses T-cells*

Somewhere between 5,000 and 10,000 readers have canceled this week because of the magazine's rushed, defamatory cover story on Sarah Palin and her family. The magazine is denying both of those numbers, so it's probably even higher.

And guess why all those people are voting with their wallets? According to "one unnamed editor":

Readers are loyal, but the base of a political party is more loyal.

This is not a partisan issue, but at least they're admitting that some Republicans can read. "Party loyalty," give me a break. The only people who don't have a problem with this garbage are journalists and hopeless Obama drones. But I repeat myself.

And don't start mewling about Chelsea Clinton jokes, my friends. Yeah, that crap was stupid and wrong, but I don't remember anybody plastering rumors about her uterus on the front page. Although back then we didn't have the Daily Kos, and her parents weren't Republicans.

Not that these miserable bottom-feeders should stop desperately crying arctic wolf about Palin. If this week has shown us one thing, it's that this lady absorbs abuse and converts it into laser beams of awesomeness.

On September 3, 2008 at 10:31 p.m. EST, when Alaskan Governor Sarah Louise Heath Palin stared straight into the camera, smiled, and accepted the Republican Party's nomination for Vice President of the United States of America, the look in her eyes said it all: "Hello, every newsroom on Earth. I'm not who you think I am, I'm not afraid of you, and I am not going away. Watch and learn."

Make them pay for this, Madam Vice President. Make them understand that you don't need their permission to win.

And do it with a smile.

*Why in the world would that offend you? I read it on the Internet. Are we not allowed to ask questions? (Never mind that it's not a question, but rather the lowest, most pathetic libel.) If it's not true, why doesn't Wenner prove it? Just show us the results of your latest AIDS test, Jann, and we can all breathe a sigh of relief. Unless you've got a problem with the First Amendment?

Posted by Jim Treacher at September 5, 2008 04:25 AM