October 18, 2008

My letter to Jodi Kantor of the New York Times

From: Me
To: kantor@nytimes.com
Re: I've got a hot tip on Cindy McCain

jodikantor.jpgShe's got really pretty eyes. Do you think you can use that?

Well, it was worth a shot. In any case, thanks for trying to trick a teenage girl into helping you with your hatchet piece on her friend's mom by pretending to be friendly to her. All's fair, right?

I'm assuming you guys have time before the election to do a followup story on Cindy's surreptitious nosepicking or something. Unless you're still busy "vetting" Joe the Plumber's parking tickets, overdue DVD rentals, and whatever else you can dig up to distract us from Barack Obama's now-revealed radical socialism. Not to mention all the various other unsavory aspects of Obama's character and record that might prevent him from taking office if you weren't suppressing them. Good thing you guys did pinky swears!

Just kidding. A lot of people say that you folks know you're not going to be in business for much longer, so this might be your last chance to throw an election. They say you'll go to any lengths to protect the Democrat. Especially since he's a Democrat you can point to and say, "There. See? This proves I'm not a racist!" But I don't believe a word of it. You're just doing what you know in your heart is right.

Hey, did you know that the guy who has befriended and mentored Obama for decades, and even babysat his kids, is also responsible for the death of several cops? And he's still pretty pumped about it? Yawn!

Why don't you go ahead and have a great day.

Your pal,
Jim Treacher

Posted by Jim Treacher at October 18, 2008 11:05 PM