"You cannot tell from appearances how things will go. Sometimes imagination makes things out far worse than they are; yet without imagination not much can be done. Those people who are imaginative see many more dangers than perhaps exist; certainly many more than will happen; but then they must also pray to be given that extra courage to carry this far-reaching imagination...
"This is the lesson: never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never -- in nothing, great or small, large or petty -- never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy."
That was Winston Churchill in Oct. 1941, talking about the Nazis. This was months before the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. America had expressed support for Britain, but we hadn't entered the war. And still Churchill was defiant. He looked the dirty stinking Nazis right in the eye and said, "No. Not on my watch."
How about a little of that, guys?
Note to my fellow countrymen: You are reading this without fear of censure or repression, in a room that is neither unlivably hot nor cold, free from hunger or able to remedy it within minutes. You have the hard-earned knowledge and wisdom of human history at your fingertips. You can get up from your computer and go wherever you want, do whatever you want, as long as you don't hurt anybody else. Or you can exercise your right to reply to me, or to anyone, in any manner you choose. And thanks to this miracle/curse called the Internet, you can make yourself heard.
You're free, in a way that Americans in 1941 never could have imagined. You have more power as a private individual than anyone else in the history of the world. Right now.
You can talk back to the people who are lying to you, lying about you. You are not helpless. We are not helpless. Their constant drumbeat -- "Obama is inevitable, Obama is inevitable, Obama is inevitable" -- is a sign of weakness, not strength. If they really thought he could win on his own merits, they wouldn't be trying so hard to brainwash you.
Most of all, you can vote. You might try to outwit yourself: "Well, I live in a blue state, so my vote doesn't matter anyway. Besides, they've already pretty much bragged about how they're going to steal the election, and they're getting away with it." All the more reason to take a little time out of your day on Nov. 4 and spite them. They think we're stupid. They think we're cowards. They think we'll believe whatever they say just because they're the ones saying it. Personally, I have no interest in proving them right.
So: Do you think maybe you can hold it together in the face of a few biased polls, princess? A few ads funded by fraudulent donations from Allah knows who? A few turncoat pundits who wouldn't waste their Zinfandel-tinged spittle on you? Do you think you can keep from browning up your panties for just 10 more days, dear heart?
Stop. Whining. One Christopher Buckley is enough, thank you.
Or, to put it much more succinctly, in not-safe-for-work terms:
*Kids these days. You gotta explain everything to them (NSFW):