November 08, 2008

In which I make an absolutely sincere proposal of marriage to JanineV of Perth

I apologize to Tim Blair for poaching his comments, but I'm sure he'll be okay with it because we're "mates." (That's one of the words they use down there.) This comment on Tim's post about the dumb "from 52 to 48" site contains many, many, many buckets of yes:

That website made me want to puke. Those head-tilts are now not of compassion but condescension. As if the left has anything to teach anyone about graciousness or moderation in attitude or behaviour.

Of course conservatives will "get along" and make nice -- it's why they knew they could get away with all the atrocious things they've said and done the past 8 years. Did anyone hear GWB whining about all the stuff that's been said and written about him? Has he blackballed a network for asking "tough" questions? Has he querulously queried a news anchor about being a shill for the opposing side?

Do you know why conservatives generally have the capacity for graciousness in victory and defeat? Because, as a rule, conservatives are happy with who they are. There's no cognitive dissonance going on, because we live what we believe -- we like free markets, so we consume; we actually care for our less fortunate neighbours, so we give generously (of our OWN money that we earn) and we buy their stuff so they can gain wealth; we donít believe the economy works by taking from one and giving to the other (as though a dollar for you means a dollar less for me), so we work hard, pay our taxes grudgingly and rejoice at the success of others while working to secure our own; we donít believe in AGW, so we don't agonise over the recycling or flying or driving anywhere. It's bliss.

If you're a lefty in a western capitalist democracy, this is impossible because you are living off the wealth created by a system you think you despise. You are inherently angry and bitter all the time, because your life can't measure up to your impossible ideals, and you are naturally self-absorbed and self-centered because of this anger and bitterness. It's all-consuming.

Of course, I'm generalising. I'm sure some of the head-tilties pictured were appalled at the treatment of the conservatives at the hands of the minority (but vocal) radicalised elements of their pseudo-religion, and in the last 8 years raised their voices again and again in protest at such unprovoked and vicious assaults on the character and person of their political opponents, all the while gently counselling their wayward brethren to focus on critiquing ideas, and having genuine debates rather than resorting to name-calling.

And I know, some conservative once called you a name so we are just as bad. Boo hoo. Go cry in your victory herbal tea, winner, and try to figure out just how to run something and lead something for once, instead of making dopey-hopey-changey noises and singing "How many times must a man blah blah" while wearing your "Abort Sarah Palin" button on your "Sarah Palin is a C***" t-shirt while waving your "GWB is not my President" banner and throwing a molotov cocktail at the McDonald's on the corner. Oh, and did I forget to mention the "No War for Oil" hat on your head?

This makes me sound unhappy, doesnít it? But the above is what the left actually DID. It's so bitter, angry, twisted, and unhinged that merely stating the fact makes me sound bitter, angry, twisted, and unhinged. So sad. (head tilt) But I weally, weally wuv you guys and want to make it work so your heads don't explode. M'kay?(/head tilt)

Thank you to JanineV of Perth for explaining to me who I am and who I am not. I have no money, but I'm useful for moving moderately heavy things from one place to another and would make a mostly acceptable husband. Please don't answer rashly.

P.S. I am not entirely opposed to this contest, although I do extend my condolences to the winner.

Posted by Jim Treacher at November 8, 2008 01:01 AM