March 05, 2009

More recycled Twits or Tweets or whatever the hell they're called

I wish someone had told me before today that Scarlett Johansson is actually a clone manufactured in Germany. And where I can get one.

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@AlisonRosen "When did Janeane Garofalo turn into somebody who served me coffee in 1994?" (http://is.gd/lo8V) made me LOL and SMP.

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I haven't seen a Dow this low since Eddie Haskell called Wally a real goon.

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Just ordered a pizza with Chris Buckley. He asked for pineapple and triple anchovies, trusting that they'd top it with pepperoni instead.

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David Brooks wakes from Matrix, calls for moderates to rise up: "Why are my muscles so weak?" "You've never used them." http://is.gd/lBUC

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Now we know how Michelle O. got such great biceps: Slamming the door on low-income hospital patients. http://bit.ly/14nf7B

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If Robert Gibbs was a spokesman for NASA, I'd start to question the moon landing.

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I'm not a big Ann Coulter fan, but after she landed this kick, Olbermann was up on the roof looking for his balls: http://bit.ly/YOCOS

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Look on the bright side, libs: Bush Sr. only PUKED all over another world leader. Obama one-upped him! Well, #2-upped. http://bit.ly/2m2o6

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Dear UK: Now you know how WE feel. Maybe they just couldn't set up his tel-uh-prompter in time? http://bit.ly/vr5T1 Signed, The Other 48%

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The Slap Chop and the Snuggie didn’t ship in time to give to Gordon, so Michelle printed the receipt and put it inside one of the DVD cases.

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I'm glad they waited until now to knight Ted Kennedy, because all that armor would've made it tough to swim.

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Check this Twit out!

Posted by Jim Treacher at March 5, 2009 04:14 PM