April 08, 2009

The past tense of "think" is "thought," so the past tense of "Tweet" must be "Twought"

Here are some of the Twitter Tweets I have Twitted over the last few days. I figure, as long as all these hilarious comedians keep insisting they can't find any humor in the First Real President We've Ever Had, I might as well move in on that action:

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One anagram of "President Barack Obama" is "An Arab backed imposter." Just one of those weird things that has nothing to do with reality.

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The Queen of England gets an iPod. The King of Saudi Arabia gets iDolatry.

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That North Korean missile escaped President Obama's notice because it didn't receive a retention bonus.

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When it comes to deficit spending, Obama burns down your house and reminds you that Bush once lit a match.

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Remember when Bush said "I don't know what the term is in Austrian"? It's not a language, you rube! Whoops, I meant Obama. http://tr.im/iioW

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Schwarzenegger isn't much of a governor, but it's inspiring that he's come so far since arriving in our country and only speaking Austrian.

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President Barack Obama has received accolades from around the world for his precise and masterful command of the American language.

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I wish they'd free Mumia already. Why would he have killed that cop? Who had even HEARD of Limbaugh and Beck back in '81? http://tr.im/ik9G

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Obama's like a kid in a candy store. By which I mean a store actually made of candy. And it won't stop raining.

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President Obama just sent Kim Jong-il a strongly worded apology.

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This just in: Some media outlets "leaned on the scales a little bit" for POTUS. http://tr.im/il4s In other news, Atlantis is "a bit damp."

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Domino's just delivered an extra-large pepperoni to Oliver Willis, when he SPECIFICALLY REQUESTED double pepperoni. Glenn Beck's revenge?

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BREAKING NEWS: People Who Like Obama Tend to Have Favorable Opinion of Obama http://tr.im/inXF

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Campbell Brown gives birth, allegedly: http://tr.im/ioZR So far, Andrew Sullivan seems to be satisfied with her cover story.

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@dailydish Don't you think it's odd that Campbell Brown is claiming that a miniature human came out of her? So much for "No Bias, No Bull"!

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Campbell Brown's page: http://tr.im/ip55 Um, do YOU guys see any "babies"? Oh, sure, she's on "maternity leave," whatever that means.

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The only man-caused disaster Joe Biden knows about is the one above his neck: http://tr.im/iplh

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BREAKING: Michigan State Appeals for 18-Point Bailout

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Wepwesentative Bawney Fwank weceives incweasing evidence that wunnin' things, it ain't all gwavy: http://tr.im/iprH

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Instead of "enemy combatants," how about "differently friendly social-change facilitators"? (Too blunt?) http://tr.im/ipxv

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Obama nixes Omaha Beach trip to honor WWII dead: http://tr.im/iqwi Someone told him "Those guys had cojones," & he misheard it as "bonuses."

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When they arrested the Unabomber, he had a heavily underlined copy of Al Gore's "Earth in the Balance." Which he bought to spite Glenn Beck.

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Newly discovered documents reveal Lee Harvey Oswald acted on orders from 12-year-old Rush Limbaugh. Jack Ruby's dying word: "Megadittoes."

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Tweet me with your best twought!

Posted by Jim Treacher at April 8, 2009 04:01 AM