April 16, 2009

"He's just reposting his Twitter crap again, WAAHHHH!!"

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http://tr.im/iJwU Thus begins "This is how I bow to everybody who's shorter than me!" If only he governed as well as he covers his own butt.

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ATTN Jon Stewart: Will you be making funny faces at this one? http://tr.im/iJTg Hey, one of the reporters should have asked about housing.

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How do you say "I'm gonna kick those privates in their pirates" in Austrian?

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They said if I voted for John McCain, the President of the United States would clamp down on privacy. And they were right! http://tr.im/iKlO

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"We need to revive him. Get my gas can!" http://tr.im/iKxy

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So, POTUS authorized killing some guys because he thought they had weapons they didn't have? And the left is okay with it? http://tr.im/iKEs

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OBAMA PREVARICATED, PIRATES WERE AERATED

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A Countdown guest just fainted after Olbermann sucked all the air out of the room.

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Why do the pirates hate us? http://tr.im/iLQd And if the U.S. killed them even though they had no ammo, is that better or worse than Gitmo?

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Selective outrage: http://tr.im/iLTT "1, 2, 3, 4, America should stay ashore!" Somehow I don't think we'll hear anything like that.

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Andrew Breitbart on Jon Stewart: "He's as fearful of an opposing voice as he is his own last name." Oh, it's on. http://tr.im/iLXD

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Question for everybody who thinks the Somali deal was an unqualified success: Why didn't those guys give up when the Navy arrived?

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The underlying assumption in taxing the hell out of the rich seems to be that if you succeed, you must be cheating somehow. Losers take all.

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BREAKING: Andrew Sullivan Offers $10,000 Bounty for Sample of Megyn Kelly's Amniotic Fluid http://tr.im/iNGX

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Dear DHS: It's great that we have a black president. It'd be even better if our black president was doing a good job. http://tr.im/iNT9

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Wow, Jim Belushi just doesn't care anymore, does he? http://tr.im/iOsK

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No matter what, Al Franken can take pride in the fact that he got more votes than "Stewart Saves His Family" got dollars. http://tr.im/iOKJ

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Somewhere, John Chancellor and David Brinkley are looking down and beaming with pride: http://tr.im/iPEy

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So if I go to a Tea Party, do I get paid off there, right on the spot? Or do they send me a check? Please be more specific, Jane Hamsher.

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Tonight on Fringe: The team track down FOX execs who keep letting American Idol go long; infect them with flesh-eating virus; point, laugh.

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Ladies and gents, David Burge: http://tr.im/iQmf I know just enough about the netroots to get the jokes, but not enough to get mad at them.

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Why is it Obama only really comes alive when he's describing what he's going to make me do and how he's going to spend my money to do it?

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Forget all that stuff about Obama making America look weak in the eyes of the world. False alarm. http://tr.im/iQKW

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You're angry at me for speculating that Obama's photo op was fake? Imagine how I felt when you said the same thing about Sarah Palin's baby.

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I just lashed out in a frightening display of rightwing extremism by muttering a rude word when I put my taxes in the mailbox. ("Geithner.")

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I'm a bad guy for speculating that maybe POTUS manipulated a photo op. But hundreds of rallies w/ thousands of people each must be "a work."

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Continued string of savage rightwing extremist acts by flipping through channels and rolling eyes at MSNBC. Later: May make Olbermann joke.

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To anybody in the media who might be reading this, here's a quick refresher course on today's Tea Parties: http://tr.im/iSTY

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If Janet Napolitano thinks rightwingers are such a threat to national security, why hasn't she come up with an Orwellian euphemism for them?

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BREAKING: Anderson Cooper Giggles Uncontrollably During Report on Italian Archaeologists Unearthing Ancient Roman War Helmet

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BREAKING: David Shuster's 8-Minute Laughing Jag After Referring to Surviving Somalian Kidnapper as "One Angry Pirate" Sends Ratings Nowhere

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When you've got Greg Gutfeld calling you out for being juvenile and stupid... http://tr.im/iVLi The Tea Parties bewilder them. I say, good.

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Click this sentence to go to my Twitter page and get this nonsense straight from the tap.

Posted by Jim Treacher at April 16, 2009 04:09 AM