October 01, 2009
Top Ten Reasons to Accept That Job Offer from David Letterman
10. Get to find out "Worldwide Pants" refers to his breathing
9. Whenever he has trouble performing, he can always count on Paul
8. Stupid Prostate Tricks
7. Pillow talk includes fond remembrances of working with Calvert DeForest
6. "Can Jay do this? Huh? Can Jay do this?"
5. Share in wistful late-life transition from "My girlfriend doesn't understand me" to "My wife doesn't understand me"
4. Will It Rise?
3. Tries to be nice about it when he passes you off to Biff Henderson
2. "Whoops, looks like Cheney isn't the only one who shoots people in the face"
And the Number One Reason to Accept That Job Offer from David Letterman:
1. After the sex, he lets you keep the Palin wig
P.S. Just last week, Letterman told Obama, "I can't tell you how satisfying it is to watch you work." Turns out that's his standard line around the office.
P.P.S. Right now, Woody Allen is signing a petition to get Letterman some fresh meat.
P.P.P.S. There's a 20-year age difference between Alex Rodriguez & Willow Palin. I wonder how much younger than Letterman those staffers were?
P.P.P.P.S. "You know what's creepy? Telling a story about having sex with your employees for laughs."
P.P.P.P.P.S. Want to hear Dennis Miller and Mark Levin reading this post (or at least the parts they could get away with) on the air? Sure ya do.
Previously: It Might Not Be the Best Idea for David Letterman to Joke About Underage Girls Being Raped and David Letterman's Stupid Blame-Dodging Tricks
Posted by Jim Treacher at October 1, 2009 11:47 PM