Jim Treacher's Blog That Is on the Internet

To counteract the gayening effects of the previous post, I have switched to Pabst Blue Ribbon

And now:

1. Grab the nearest CD.
2. Put it in your CD-Player (or start your mp3-player, I-tunes, etc.).
3. Skip to Song 3 (or load the 3rd song in your 3rd playlist)
4. Post the first verse in your journal along with these instructions. Don’t name the band, nor the album-title.

You're always sayin', "It's so easy
"Any man I want I'll take and make him mine, mine, mine"
You're always sayin', "It's so easy
"Any man I want I'll take and make him mine, mine, mine"
Less talking, let's see action
There's no time to waste, it's time to make me your man
Less talking, let's see action
There's no time to waste, it's time to make me your man

Via Johnny B.

pearly pink

• 2 oz. smirnoff vanilla twist
• splash of nellie & joe's key west lime juice
• however much ocean spray white cranberry strawberry juice drink you think is needed

sip while reading achewood, enjoy coconut-and-cotton-candy-jelly-belly aftertaste, keep telling yourself you're not gay

"Do I look 500?"

Note to anybody reading this, in the unlikely event you ever sign up to star in a TV series where you play a vampire. You might want to try actually living like a vampire? You know, avoiding the sun and cutting carbs? Because, dude:

Maybe it's a good thing the show's getting cancelled. The whole "never ages" thing becomes less and less plausible with every episode. I'm surprised they haven't written it into the storyline, like Angel gets placed under a "partied out" curse or something.

He does look happier, at least.

And another thing about Doonesbury...

What's the big deal about cutting off a character's leg? When was the last time a sitting president depicted in the strip even had a body? And hell, Schwarzenegger had everything but his left hand amputated. Wait, it was his right... no, his left... Trudeau couldn't seem to decide. But hey, it's not about left and right, er, right? Anyway, leg. Big deal.

That's Amputainment

We've all heard of jumping the shark, of course, but Garry Trudeau has decided to try a different method: shanking the stump. "Not your time, bro!", a suddenly-boot-surplussed B.D. is exhorted. "Not today!" Referring to their scheduled place-kicking contest, I guess. And apparently, seeing him without his helmet after all these years is supposed to add some sort of dramatic power to the sequence. Personally, I was more worried about how much he must spend on Grecian Formula.

(I was going to make a joke here about how Doonesbury is now officially the final season of M*A*S*H*, but then I realized it's already been AfterM*A*S*H* for quite some time.)

Not to be outdone, Boondocks writer/artist Aaron McGruder, taking a break from phoning in his strip -- literally -- and beefing with Bil Keane, Johnny Hart, and several other frail septuagenarians, announced that an upcoming storyline will depict Huey's harrowing struggle to put his life back together after losing the use of his afro.

"So this little white chick was standing there reading Vibe, aright? And I was like, let's see what this is all about, aright?"

This would make a great montage sequence, set to the theme from the TV version of "The Courtship of Eddie's Father."

(And yes, I know that CoEF star Brandon Cruz was the singer for the Dead Kennedys for a couple years.)

Random nerd thoughts that are too stupid to say out loud on the bus, which makes them perfect for the blog format

The O.C. is Happy Days in reverse. Happy Days started off as the story of a total nerd, but then the cool, edgy guy ran off with the show.

Johnny Ryan needs to come out of his shell a little bit.

Space Ghost is 10 years old. Well, Space Ghost himself is like 37, but the show where they made him interesting is 10. I've been taking every open shift I can get at Arby's®, and I'm hoping to save up enough money to get Cartoon Network turned on again. But Happy Birthday, Space Man, Space Master!

If you're still waiting for issue #13 of The Tick comic book, which is only about 11 years late, check out Tales of the Vampires #4. It's an anthology comic set in the Buffyverse (which is another way of saying "the universe of Buffy the Vampire Slayer," if you like squishing words together), written by Joss Whedon and some of his crew. Tick creator and Angel staff writer Ben Edlund wrote and drew one of the stories in the latest issue, which I believe is his first comics work since he became a TV big shot. He also drew the cover, which has a big Darwin Fish on it, and the story itself is about one very unsettling vampire's relationship with God (or a reasonable facsimile). You don't really need to know anything about Buffy, The Tick, or atheism to enjoy it. Just a creepy, clever little short story that packs a lot into 6 pages. Edlund hasn't lost his touch. I hope this whets his appetite for more comics work, Tick-related or otherwise, but I'm not holding my breath.

Achewood gets praise from both The Comics Journal and Dave Barry. See? I was right all along! (Huh, somewhere along the line I apparently deleted the Achewood button on the right side of the page. I am a webdolt.)

Despite Cathy Seipp's claims, I am not "the funniest man in the blogosphere." At least not since the operation.

I'm really tired and I smell like curly fries. But what else is new?

Oh yeah, and here's my review of Kill Bill, Vol. 2 in pseudo-clever/lazy haiku format:

In a mobile home
Swordplay is problematic
But keep an eye out

Did you know...

...the Pixies are touring again?

...you can get an MP3 of their first show in 12 years here?

...you are old?

In other music news, KenLayne.com has completed its gradual transition from blog to Corvids promo site. I like the "Dude, who beefed?" pic.

Or maybe it is?

I don't even know anymore. While I'm figuring it out, please feel free to give me all your leftover money, beer, and sex. Most importantly the beer. Just pour it into the USB port, it'll make its way down here. That's it. Thaaaaaat's it.

Thanks again,
Pal Jim

P.S. Listen to The Eagles of Death Metal.

This blog ain't goin' nowhere!

Which is true in every meaningful sense. But who needs fame or riches or even a living wage when I have you, dear reader?

So, it turns out liberal radio can be every bit as smug, heavy-handed, and coma-inducingly dull as conservative radio. Good to know!

Whew, I'm exhausted. And now, please enjoy this collection of cartoon archetypes dancing wildly to a misogynistic booty-jam.

I Quit

This has been a long time coming, I suppose. Those of you who've been reading me for a while (all 27 of you) might have noticed this site hasn't been updated very often lately. Two years is a lot longer than I ever expected to keep doing this. Although it hasn't been entirely unenjoyable, I can't think of one good reason to keep going.

There's a lot more I could say, but I hate long goodbyes. Take care, everybody.