July 29, 2004

Awwwwwwwwwwww yeah

Michaewho Keatwho?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 05:38 AM

July 28, 2004

Well, as long as I've got the Instalink, I may as well post something

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Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:06 AM

July 27, 2004

Hate Mail Generator

(Via Michele Catalano) I'm intrigued by Planned Parenthood's hot new T-shirt that everybody's talking about:

thanks4sharing.jpeg

Kind of half-assed, though, don't you think? How about this instead:

lousyT.jpg

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:02 PM

Tendon to Differ

Well, this changes everything. A little bird just pointed me to Micah "Sgt. Crock" Wright correcting a mean ol' Freeper who said rude things to him. Wright explains why he never became an Army Ranger like he might have accidentally claimed to be once or twice:

For your information, I didn't continue on in ROTC and get my commission because I snapped a tendon during Jump School after Advanced Camp the summer before my Senior Year. To this day I can't run fast and my leg hurts on cold days. It's not that I didn't WANT to do it, it's that I COULDN'T do it. That doesn't forgive what I did, but maybe it gives you a little clearer picture of my commitment to this country.

And to the truth!

(Interesting note: Wright's now-cancelled comic book series was called Stormwatch: Team Achilles. Maybe he named it for his tendon that he really and truly did snap?)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:47 PM

Things you can look at on your computer

The team coverage of the 2004 DNC by Welch & Blair (or Blair & Welch, depending on how you feel about Australians). This, along with Layne's musings, will be my only voluntary exposure to this first of two quadrennial CO2-expulsion festivals.

Pictures of Atrios, which I think were the deciding factor in limiting my exposure to the 2004 DNC.

Shouldn't You Be Working? Every week in this feature, cartoonist Johnny Ryan posts a disgusting cartoon lampooning some comic strip or superhero comic. For the last few weeks he's been making poopies all over Marvel Comics. Do not read these cartoons if you're offended by jokes about pee-pees, poo-poos, same-sex sex, or any combination thereof. If you do like that sort of stuff, you can buy his books here.

The Achewood blogs (scroll down, to the right). I don't think anybody has used blogs in quite this way before. If they have, I doubt they've done it this well. Put the 11(!) Atom feeds in your Bloglines thingie and watch the stories unfold.

Whatever else you feel like, I'm not your babysitter.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:31 AM

July 26, 2004

Just a thought

Somebody really needs to register RestoreIrony.com.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:15 AM

July 24, 2004

Misc.

When did James Hetfield turn into Stuart Smalley?

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So that's what Donnie Darko was all about, huh? After seeing it a couple of times and stumbling through the official site, I'd gotten as far as, "Okay, so the jet engine was from... the future? A future? And he had to... had to... UHHHHHHH" And then I gave up. What the hell, I still liked it on an emotional level. Sparkle Motion! Tears for Fears! "I'm voting for Dukakis!" It had a sweet/creepy blend you'd never quite seen in a movie before. But who knew the whole thing was so carefully constructed? Check it out. (It's at ZZZalon, but it's actually quite good.)

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Looks like Layne's given up blogging, I remember thinking to myself. He's got the music thing going on now, and I guess that's his main deal these days. Well, good for him. It was fun while it lasted, blogfather... Oh me of little faith!

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Did anybody else see The 50 Greatest Condiments of All Time on Food Network? The best was when Michael Ian Black was like, "I don't think it would have 'blown up' the way it did if they'd called it farm dressing." And the way he said it without moving his face, it was so hilarious. He should do that more often! And I also liked Best Eastern Front Ever on the History Channel. (Patton Oswalt: "Stalingrad? More like Downgrad!")

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If you like that new show Crossballs and its bellowing straight-man host Chris Tallman, be sure to check out his terrific no-budget sci-fi-comedy series Time Belt at Channel101.com. And then watch all the other shows. And then cross your fingers for a Channel 101 series on FX.

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Some anagrams for Restore Honesty:

Shoe, Enter Story
Yes, Or He's Rotten
Sooth-Yente* Errs
Son, Reset Theory
Re: "Honest" -- Rot, Yes?

*(sic)

***

Hey, what are you doing inside on a day like today anyway? Don't you know the whole world is out there waiting for you? Don't you?

Yeah, me neither.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:27 PM

July 22, 2004

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Tombstone Generator via Fresh Bed Goodness

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:12 PM

July 20, 2004

A blog's a funny thing

Well, theoretically.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:20 PM

July 14, 2004

Things to enjoy on your computer network capability

The new MC Chris "jawnt". Which is... for svizzy? Off the... the... thing? I grow old and wither. Also there is an interview with him here on the screen when you click. Plus his dirty site

I could have sworn I had other stuff to add here. Well, you don't need my help, just do what you think is right. We all trust you.

P.S. Oh! I remember now. On the subject of self-deprecating rap, please make the effort to find an MP3 called "What's Up, Fatlip?" It will require copyright infringement on your part, but I honestly don't think he'll mind.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 05:02 AM

July 10, 2004

And I can barely maintain one unpaid Internet typing exercise with my one half of a personality

Chris Onstad is a genius, plus four more words.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:59 AM

July 08, 2004

If Michael Moore were capable of shame, his toes would be curling up into his shins right now

Because Lileks just dropped a HOUSE on him. (The Thickened Bitch of the East?) Must-read, Best Bleatdown Ever, etc.

Speaking of the lipid-distended truth-eschewer of the moment, what was his deal on The Daily Show tonight? They did a segment on that hapless Michael Moore Hates America guy, Mike Wilson, and Moore himself showed up for a couple of sight gags at the kid's expense. The last shot, after they'd established that Wilson hasn't been able to get an interview with Moore, showed correspondent Samantha Bee clinking champagne glasses with the spherical socialist and grinning conspiratorially. Wilson was not invited, of course. Hey look, a rich old asshole is dodging a scrappy, inexperienced young filmmaker and indulging himself with his ill-gotten gains! Yay! Go team! Hey, waitaminnit...

So I guess that was the "joke"? He's gone from Roger and Me to Me, I'm Now Roger? This is a source of pride, then? Or maybe it's like a meta thing? Or...? As is often the case with Moore, the only coherent message I could find in it is that he's driven by spite.

P.S. Is there any truth to the rumor that the next Spider-Man movie will be a hard-hitting documentary by J. Jonah Jameson called Arachnid 411?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:14 AM

July 02, 2004

Too bad there's not a gay pornstar named Ryan Jax to complete the triad (Or maybe there is? I haven't been keeping up with that hobby)

WhofuckedJR.PNGI guess I'm a little late to the party on this, but has anybody else noticed the connection? Jack Ryan? Sex scandal! Guy who once played a character named "Jack Ryan"? Sex scandal!

Coincidence? I might have thought so before I saw F9/11, but now I'm a lot smarter than that. It's obviously a plot to discredit both the left and the right at the same time by pointing out what they and their loved ones/new friends/hired help do with their potty-parts. And do you know who would have the most to gain from such tactics?

Seriously, do you? Because that's the part I can't figure out. (Nader? Does he even know what sex is?) But it's totally a conspiracy.

P.S. Daniel Frank writes:

Who's behind it, you ask? You saw F9/11 and you need to ask who's behind it? Hello?!?!?

Bushitler!!!!!!!!!1!!!!

I considered that, but doesn't it seem a little too obvious? That's what they want you to think! Nevermind who "they" are right now, just trust me on this. (Also, I'm pretty sure it's spelled "Bu$hitler.")

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:22 AM