July 24, 2005

Just to clarify my previous post

I am now blogging here. This blog may or may not be maintained (haven't really thought about it), but if you just can't get enough of me, I'll be posting here at least once a day. Thanks!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:16 PM

July 18, 2005

Click the pic, slick

sellout.jpg

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:54 AM

July 17, 2005

My favorite movie - evolution of a concept

Via Captain Spaulding:

1987 - Dirty Dancing
1989 - Steel Magnolias
1990 - Pretty Woman
1991 - Fried Green Tomatoes
1993 - Sleepless in Seattle
1998 - How Stella Got Her Groove Back
2000 - Autumn in New York
2002 - My Big Fat Greek Wedding
2004 - Uncut Buttpluggers IV/Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

I pass the "meme" along to: You!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:58 PM

July 16, 2005

Valerie Plame: Sydney Bristow or Miss Moneypenny?

And beyond the headline, I got nothin'. I keep trying to read about it, because hey, if so many people are interested in it, it must be interesting, right? But even the briefest summary is as twisty and boring as an earthworm. (It bores through the dirt, get it? I'm just a great person.)

So: There was this CIA agent, or she wasn't really an agent, or yes she was; and Karl Rove gave out her name during an interview so her career would be ruined and she couldn't do undercover missions to steal secret microchips anymore, or no he didn't, or yes he did; and he did so, or not, because her husband said some stuff that wasn't, or was, true about Iraq or Africa or someplace; and then the husband disappeared for a while and his website about restoring honesty magically became a Kerry website*, but now he's back on TV and his hair really looks great; and there are these reporters who are in trouble... That's the thing, it's reporters covering other reporters, which is never not boring. And the whole Rove deal. "Grrr, Rove, must kill Rove!!!" I guess he's a jerk and everything, but can't they dig up something juicier on him? [There's probably a funny example I could put here. Why start now.]

Maybe I'm just -gated out, but as a scandal? On a scale from 1 to 10, I give it Zero Blowjobs. So to speak.

JimTreacher.com... Your Source for Incisive Political Commentary Since 2002

*Try typing in restorehonesty.com and see what comes up.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 05:36 AM

July 10, 2005

Raise the flag phuthermuckers

Thats right its your ol pal Captain Americrunch back to lead the pack. You thought your were safe didant you. Think again butt plows. I been gone a while on account I had what you might call a little problem with local law enforce ment but it wasant nothen I couldant handle. Domestic disturbence my rosy red ass. I was just practicen my back hand. Good one. But then she called the cops and I got ta handle that schitt. No prob I had em eaten out a my hand but then the one pig was all like Son why do you have 75 empty sudafed boxes in your teevee room. Now you know the old Crunch Man thinks on his feet but I didant have a good answer for that one so I high tailed it. Got 3 blocks and I woulda made it too except for the damn bean bag in the back. Phukked up my kidneys for a couple weeks but I just laffed it off. Phukken pigs. Any how lucky for me the judge was a a chick and there I was looken the way I do so she showed some lenients in ex change for a little a what I like to call gavel to gavel coverage. Now Im back on the street and on the internet so lock up your dauters. Who you adopted because your a bunch a nob gobblers.

I got ta talk about the towel heads for a minute. Just bare with me you knew it it was comen. Now you know I dont like people from London or England but that schitt aint right. Sure they talk funny and there teevee sucks but what the phukk. You aint supposed to say it but next time I see one a them Islams Im tellin him his little Allah book is a bunch a crap. See if I dont.

Also Treach you better take back what you said about Dukes Of Hazard or you will reap the whirl wind. Pronto.

Posted by Capt. Americrunch at 01:44 PM

July 09, 2005

I'm never sure what good this sort of thing does, but...

...at least they're not apologizing!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:10 AM

July 07, 2005

Calling London

Just talked to my buddy Jackie in London, and she's okay. If you're there and you're reading this for some reason, be well.

Looks like the finger-pointing has already begun and nothing I say can stop it, but let's try to think of the people who were hurt or killed, okay? No matter where this fits into your worldview.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:06 AM

July 06, 2005

I'm about to make fun of protestors again, regardless of who actually holds power in the world

(Via Bleah) Scottish blog Freedom and Whisky has snapped some shots of the G8 protestors, including this enterprising gentleman:

genius.JPG

Because you need that sugar buzz to FIGHT FASCISM!!! (AKA trash a Burger King.) Some other great selliní-stuff-to-stop-capitalism ideas:

Rake Poverty History! The G8 could just sweep all that debt under the rug if they really felt like it. And now you can too! Except with leaves. Into a nice pile. But otherwise it sort of fits!

Slake Poverty History! Youíve got a mighty thirst for justice. And water! The soulless corporate H2O in these Aquafina bottles has been replaced with good olí pond water run through a cheesecloth. Take that, AmeriKKKa!

Flake Poverty History! Sure, cocaine is pretty bad for you and I think itís illegal, but is it any more illegal than Bu$hiÜlerís war? It is? Well, buy it anyway, fascist.

Etc.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:49 AM

July 05, 2005

Beats all you ever smelled

It's a given that the new Dukes of Hazzard movie will suck possum cock. But at least, based on the promos, it depicts them Duke boys the way they always should have been:

outside_the_meth_lab.jpg

Just look at those dirty, disgusting creeps. Yeah! It's rural Georgia or Arkansas or wherever, right? I mean, what was up with this crap?

take_a_guess.jpg

"Yeee-HAAAA!! Let's go pull one over on that dumb ol' Boss Hogg again, Bo! Lemme just find my emery board first."

"Be right with ya, Luke, just as soon as I finish this deeee-licious green tea smoothie!"

If CBS had had the guts to let those two out of the closet back in the '80s, there'd be gay marriage in every state of the union by now. Nice going, CBS!

P.S. Yeah, yeah, Britney Christina looks better than ever, but she's just not Daisy Duke.

P.P.S. Holy crap, David Koechner is playing Cooter. If you've seen the Mr. Show movie (and if you haven't, don't), you know he almost saved it from being a total waste. The man gives good redneck.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:50 PM

Garry Trudeau slamming bloggers...

...is like the Rat Pack slamming the Beatles. Except, of course, about a millionth as cool all around.

(way back when)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:26 AM