September 21, 2005

Dear J.J. Abrams:

Sorry about what we said earlier.

Signed,
Us

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:54 PM

September 09, 2005

Too soon?

Broadcasting & Cable reports:

Fox has substituted one original episode of Family Guy for another on Sunday, the debut of its new fall season lineup that night, because the episode scheduled to air contained a "couple" references to a hurricane.

"Out of sensitivity to what happened, we’re moving it back a couple weeks," a Fox spokesman told B&C.

In other news:

  • FX has announced that reruns of the movie X-Men will be corrected to remove any trace of the character Storm. (Oddly enough, this was in the works even before Katrina.)
  • According to TBS, The Waterboy will now be called The Adventures of the Endearing Cajun Stereotype (New Orleans Will Rebuild).
  • Cartoon Network's Adult Swim bloc of programming is on hiatus pending name change. Contenders include Pack Another Bowl, Three Hours of Colorforms and Two Laughs, and It's Okay, Mommy & Daddy Are Asleep.
  • Summers Eve is changing its Tropical Rain Twin Pack to the less insensitive Super Awesome Double-Barreled Slit Rinse.

Enough, right?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:17 PM

September 08, 2005

The HSTeam? Hunter's Angels?

3_amigos.PNGJust trying to think of a name for the heroic, Hunter Thompson-centric rescue squad that Sean Penn brought with him to New Orleans. When you're swooping into a national disaster area to show those right-wing dummies how it's done and get people out of the water, or at least get the water out of your boat (The Penntanic?), you really want Douglas Brinkley and Matt Taibbi on your crew. Two of Thompson's drinking buddies (one of them his official biographer) + The guy some call the next HST + A bass boat = Fear and Rowing in Nawlins. Just because ol' Hunter used his .45 for a toothbrush doesn't mean these guys can't pick up where he left off! Don't take my word for it, check out Thompson's final written words:

"No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming."

Oh, there's swimming alright. Anyhow, between Cap'n Spicoli and Geraldo, it's The Battle of the Aging, Tattooed Narcissists with Nauseating Facial Hair.

P.S. Speaking of which, where was their fellow HST pal Johnny Depp? I guess he doesn't care about black people.

P.P.S. According to Taibbi himself, Penn didn't bring a photographer with him as reported. Nope, just two Rolling Stone writers.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:14 PM

September 02, 2005

I'll bet Myers wishes Kanye still had his mouth wired shut

On one hand, it's kind of cool that Ol' Lumpy Jaw sidestepped the carefully scripted bullshit they're always required to read during these things. On the other, much more relevant hand, how about putting together a coherent thought, Kanye?

Myers: [The video clip I saw begins midsentence] ...scape of the city has changed dramatically, tragically, and perhaps irreversibly. There's now over 25 feet of water where there was once city streets and thriving neighborhoods.

TELL_IT_KANYE.PNGWest: [clears throat] I hate the way they portray us in the media. If you see a black family, it says they're looting. See a white family, it says they're looking for food. And you know that it's been five days because most of the people are black. And even for me to complain about, I would be a hypocrite because I've tried to turn away from the teacher... TV because it's too hard to watch. I've even been shopping before, even giving a donation, so now I'm calling my business manager right now to see what is the biggest amount I can give. And just to imagine if I was down there, and those are my people down there. So anybody out there that wants to do anything that we can help, with the setup, the way America is set up to help the poor, the black people, the less well-off as slow as possible. I mean, this is, Red Cross is doing everything they can, we already realize a lot of the people that could help are at war right now, fighting another way, and they've given them permission to go down and shoot us.

Myers: [pause] And subtle, but in even many ways more profoundly devastating, is the lasting damage to the survivors' will to rebuild and remain in the area. The destruction of the spirit of the people of southern Lousiana and Mississippi may end up being the most tragic loss of all.

West: George Bush doesn't care about black people.

Heartfelt to be sure, and it's cool that he reads Wonkette, but as a freestyle? I'd have to give it a C-/D+. Even if he was "krunked," that was subpar for Kanye. I'm not saying he didn't have his speech ready, but my boy had less flow than Estelle Getty. I mean, he's blasting George Bush, and yet it sounds more than a little bit like a George Bush speech. Whoops!

(Thanks to crooksandliars.com for the video)

P.S. Please tell me you didn't miss the "teacher/TV" Freudian slip. Do I have to explain everything to you people?

P.P.S. My my my, Wonkette sure does fill in the gaps, doesn't s/he?

P.P.P.S. From Kanye's interview in the latest Radar:

Do you think of yourself as a political person? More social. I hear about something that's going on with people and want to touch on it. But I can't give you a George Bush quote or a John Kerry quote. In fact, they may be the only two politicians I know.

Kerry isn't responsible for any of this, obviously, so it was just a process of elimination. That's why he's the smartest man in pop music!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:32 PM