Jim Treacher's Blog That Is on the Internet

Faster than a melting glacier! More powerful than a UN Security Council resolution!

Michael Dougherty and Dan Harris, the spiky-haired whelps who wrote Superman Returns, explain why the Man of Steel is now about "Truth, justice and... all that stuff":

"We were always hesitant to include the term 'American way' because the meaning of that today is somewhat uncertain," Ohio native Dougherty explains. "The ideal hasn't changed. I think when people say 'American way,' they're actually talking about what the 'American way' meant back in the '40s and '50s, which was something more noble and idealistic."

Right. America was so much better back then. We were so much closer to what we wanted to be. With the segregated drinking fountains and the Red Scare. Come on, who can think about Charles Starkweather or Emmett Till or payola or the quiz show scandals or polio or Korea without a glow of fond nostalgia?

I guess this is what happens when movies are written by dudes who think history is just a channel they never watch.

G-had rap is the next big thing, so I'm trying to decide on a name

Run-PBUH
Fatwa Joe
Splode Dogg
Ol' Dirty Blastwave
Burqa Sparxxx
MC Hamas

Here's the metaphor I've settled on for countering the ol' "But terrorists already know we're tracking their finances" riposte

A bank robber knows the cops are looking for him. So what’s the harm if the newspaper tells him where not to hide?

Yeah, he did some great solos on Monica's epiglottis

"...and wouldn't even the most jaded Republican hitman concede that Bill Clinton's got the beat?"

People are being mean to Bill Keller

Poor guy:

Some of the incoming mail quotes the angry words of conservative bloggers and TV or radio pundits who say that drawing attention to the government’s anti-terror measures is unpatriotic and dangerous. (I could ask, if that's the case, why they are drawing so much attention to the story themselves by yelling about it on the airwaves and the Internet.)

I think that might be because the story was already broken on THE FRONT PAGE OF THE NEW YORK TIMES. When you let the cat out of the bag, it's a bit gauche to blame the guy who notices that it's peeing all over the carpet.

I only mention it because I still get people asking me, "Why don't you blog more?"

(Fans are so demanding.) I'm over here pretty much every day.

Cheap Shots 'Я' Us

Joe Lieberman seizes control of yet another mainstream media outlet

Curses!

P.S. From the Newsweek story:

The talk of the blogosphere last week was "Kosola"—allegations that Moulitsas wrote favorably about candidates with whom he or his close friend and coauthor Jerome Armstrong had financial relationships. Moulitsas swore the charges were baseless (Armstrong, too, has denied impropriety), but they clearly got under his skin. When The New Republic's Web site published an e-mail from Moulitsas to a group of friendly activists urging them not to talk about Kosola and thus "starve it of oxygen," Moulitsas went berserk in a blog posting, accusing the venerable liberal journal of treason. By the weekend, Moulitsas's allies were sending each other e-mails infected with the paranoia of revolutionaries who've gained power too fast: How should they deal with traitors? How much openness could they handle? Which fellow travelers could they really trust?

From The Mahablog (italic emphasis in the original):

Where did the finger-wagging campaign originate? Why is the MSM suddenly piling on Kos this week? Is attacking Kos a back-door way of derailing candidates associated with Kos? Like Mark Warner? Or Sherrod Brown? Or Ned Lamont? Who is orchestrating this?

Hooray for me

The other day Glenn Reynolds mentioned this hatchet piece on his book, but until just now I didn't realize the most important thing about it: I'm mentioned!

Words words words, yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah, and then:

There's one place, at least, where this unstoppable phenomenon may indeed quickly triumph. It's precisely the area where Reynolds now toils: media. Reynolds would argue that he is a proponent of what his fellow blogger Jim Treacher calls "we-dia," journalism practiced by the technologically empowered, amateur masses.

Actually, the word came about by accident when I was trying to explain to the ER doc why I stuck my tongue in the weedeater.* But close enough!

*Uncle Steve said it tasted like candy.**
**It didn't.

I question the timing and I can't remember if I took my medication today

So the FBI picked last night to round up some "Muslim" "terrorists"? What a coincidence! At exactly the same moment, the brave and heroic NY Times was revealing how George H. Bush* is going through your banking records because he hates America and wants to destroy it. Classic misdirection! Forget Miami, what about my Amex? What's more important, the Sears Tower or your Sears card? WHO'S THE REAL TERRORIST, PEOPLE??? (Answer: Bush)

P.S. ROOOOVE!!!

*Can you NOT SEE what the H. stands for?

I realize I'm just a small-timer, but...

...if you're trying to refute the accusation that you have way too much power and influence, is it really such a good idea to call for a boycott against your accuser?

So long, stupid!

That feller's career is as dead as a possum on Arbor Day. He's crispier than a minute steak on shore leave. Etc.

Note to Patterico

Please e-mail me when you get a chance. (E-mail link is in the upper-right corner.)

Thanks, Annika!

She is awesome.

Look on the bright side

Sure, Zarqawi is scorpion food, and Rove got away again (curses!), and Bush is in Baghdad being all... Bushy, and the Muslim boycott of Denmark over some cartoons they didn't like is tanking, and yet another Kennedy is in trouble for getting hopped up on liquor goofballs and causing a ruckus, but...

Isn't Kos dreamy?

Hello to you

Looks like I'm getting more traffic than usual today, so I'd like to take this opportunity to send you over to the other blog I contribute to. To which I contribute. Whatever. Just go over there and buy something already.

I think I just cracked the code

The louder you say something, the smarter it is!

Ariana is really quite amazing. The woman is SMART. I don't have a large enough font to truly express how intelligent this woman is. Smart, smart, smart.

GOOD POINT DOOD

STAY AWESOME LOL

In the interest of equal time, Pt. 573

Ann Coulter is a MILF!

Maniac
I'd
Like to
Forcefeed

Aw, relax, she can take a joke.

Remember when Davey Jones showed up at Marcia's prom?

That was nothin':

...I turn a corner in our hunt for snack food and I'm passing someone who reminds me of Joseph Wilson. I catch his eye and with a dumbfounded look I point at him and say, "You're...aren't you?"

...He smiles, comes over, and shakes Mike's and my hand. Oh. My. God. We actually have a conversation with Joseph Wilson. With Joseph Wilson!

...As I'm chatting with Mr. Valerie Plame, guess who he calls over and introduces us to? Larry Johnson! The four of us are talking about Zarqawi and Iraq. La di da. Fiddle dee dee. Doesn't everyone chat with Larry Johnson and Joseph Wilson about Iraq? Oh, was I giddy when we went our separate ways. I wanted to jump up and down and scream in excitement.

This is just too cool, and it's only my first day.

I wish I could have gone to YearlyKos, but my spaceship is in the shop.

What's Arabic for "No fair"?

"Zarqawi, in fact, did survive the air strike," [Army Maj. Gen. William] Caldwell, the top U.S. military spokesman in Iraq, told reporters at the Pentagon by teleconference. He said Zarqawi mumbled unintelligibly before he died.

Well, he's talking up a storm now.

Okay, let's not go overboard here

How would you react to the death of the guy who not only cut off your son's head, but made a tape and showed it to the whole world? You'd talk tough, that's what:

"I think the news of the loss of any human being is a tragedy. I think al-Zarqawi's death is a double tragedy," [Michael Berg] said. "His death will incite a new wave of revenge. George Bush and al-Zarqawi are two men who believe in revenge."

Berg said "restorative justice," - such as being forced to work in a hospital where maimed children are treated - could have made al-Zarqawi "a decent human being."

Whoa, whoa, calm down there, Mike! How about just giving him a timeout? March him over to his chair in the corner and give him 5 minutes to sit and think about what he's done. If he still keeps acting out, drop the big bomb: No Spongebob.

Let's try a little experiment

Taken from today's NY Daily News:

ROCK-TOSS 'BIAS' BUST

By Kieran Crowley

Ranting that his local mall had become "too black," an unemployed Long Island man hurled a chunk of concrete at a minivan carrying an African-American woman and four young children as they entered the shopping center, cops said yesterday.

Carl Graves, 20, who is white, was charged with a hate crime after allegedly shattering the vehicle's windshield and denting the hood with the 6-inch slab about 3:15 p.m. Monday. No one was injured.

"This was racially motivated," Nassau County Police Lt. Karl Schoepp said. "He was enraged. He worked himself into a frenzy over the fact that he thought the mall was becoming too black."

Kim McCandless of West Islip said she was pulling into the Sunrise Mall in Massapequa when Graves threw the concrete at her van.

"If this rock had crashed through the window, would it have fazed him that he hurt innocent little kids, or me? I could be dead," McCandless said yesterday.

"To know it's about a skin color bothers me even more."

Graves, of Amityville, and his buddies were hanging out near the mall, lamenting that some shops and the gaming arcade were closed, police said.

At some point, Graves picked up the piece of concrete and kept it in his jacket until he saw McCandless' minivan, cops said.

McCandless and the youngsters - her two children, a nephew and a niece, ages 4, 3, 2 and 7 months, respectively - were shaken but not hurt.

Cops said Graves "just walked away laughing" with a pal after the attack. Several witnesses followed him and flagged down a cop, who made the arrest.

Terrible, right? So why isn't it bigger news? Well, I changed the story around a little bit. Click here and maybe you'll understand why it's no big deal. (Hat tip to Lil' Jimmy)

Oh, that Mary Mapes... what a wacky nutcase!

(Seriously, though, she requires immediate medical attention.)

"Broad strata"

Of what, beard lengths?