Mother, May I Sleep with Treacher?

Note to self: When somebody claims he raped, murdered, and drank the blood of a small child, he might just be trying for a first-class ticket out of some big trouble in Thailand

You think you know a person, and then he goes and does something like this. The investigators should have known something was up when John Karr claimed that not only did he kill JonBenet, but he kidnapped the Lindbergh baby, broke up the Beatles, and greenlighted Dancing with the Stars. The Boulder police must be waving their billy clubs and twirling their handlebar mustaches in frustration. That was a Keystone Kops joke.

I liveblogged the Emmys

Some of it was funny, probably.

Weekly reminder

I'm over here.

Yeah? Too bad.

The name fits almost perfectly

Jac-que-line Mackie Paisley Passey
Her name is my name too
Whenever we go out
People scream and shout
"There goes Jac-que-line Mackie Paisley Passey!"
Dah dah dah dah dah dah dah...

I do most of my blogging somewhere else

I'll stop reminding you when you start getting it. Sorry, that came out wrong. I don't know what's wrong with me. You know I love you, baby. Come on.

Kid-killers beware: Try anything in Boulder, and you've got a mere 10 years of freedom ahead of you

Just keep that in mind.

With apologies to Greg Gutfeld (And, I suppose, Mr. Lewis)

(The Daily Gut rules.)

Vote 'em if ya got 'em

The latest foiled terrorist plot revolved around liquid explosives. So of course, the logical solution is to keep Muslim terrorists off planes ban all liquids. Which of the following is the most tasteless and stupid beverage idea?

• PepC4


• Sui-Cider


• JihaDasani


• Ginger Allah


• Gatorhate

Shakes on a plane...

...along with all other liquids, banned. Yeah, that makes sense. That's the common denominator. Why do the beverages hate us? We really need to look at the root(beer) causes.

BUSH PREVARICATED, FLIERS WERE DEHYDRATED

I'm back ("What, was he gone?")

Over here.