If Batman wears a mask to beat up the Joker, that's okay. (In Gotham City, anyway.) If Batman wears a mask to run around telling everybody how great Bruce Wayne is, that's not okay.
The Grauniad blows the lid off the mother:
Details emerged yesterday about the seven interrogation techniques the CIA is seeking to be allowed to apply to terror suspects... The techniques sought by the CIA are: induced hypothermia; forcing suspects to stand for prolonged periods; sleep deprivation; a technique called "the attention grab" where a suspect's shirt is forcefully seized; the "attention slap" or open hand slapping that hurts but does not lead to physical damage; the "belly slap"; and sound and light manipulation.
All you want to do is blow up some infidels for Allah, but these pigs won't let you sit down or take a nap or put on a sweater. If the blasphemers are feeling particularly American, they might even wrinkle your outfit. Or give you a pinkbelly! AAAAIIIEEEEEEEE!!!
But check it out, the Bush regime doesn't want to tell you about the other torture techniques he's devised...
Suspect: All unbelievers will fall before the sword of Allah!
Interrogator: [Flouncing about room in effeminate fashion] All unbelievers will fall! Before the sword! Of Allah! Who is my boyfriend! Pppbbbbbbhhht!!
Interrogator's failure to be struck down instantly places suspect under extreme psychological stress. In case of emergency, interrogator may deploy Nyah-Nyah-Nyah Protocol.
Which evil-ass AmeriKKKan torture techniques have I missed?
PREVIOUSLY... Pope: "Islam Can Suck It"
This dude used the previous post on his podcast. If you want to hear it read with a British accent and "edited for taste and decency" (I should try that sometime!), the segment starts at about 05:37. I guess not all limeys and podcasts are bad...
P.S. Anybody read Dutch? Babelfish just seizes up.
ROME -- In a televised statement this morning, Pope Benedict XVI lashed out at critics of his earlier comments on Muslims, referring to said critics as a "pack of crybaby snake-charmers" and recommending they perform various humanly impossible feats of flexibility and colonic accommodation.
"Fuck you," he added.
"Why don't you have a seat on my pointy-ass hat," continued the Bishop of Rome. "You'd like that, wouldn't you, Abdul? We all know how you camel-jockeys swing, out there in the desert. Yeah, those long cold lonely nights out among the dunes. You bunch of faggots. We [Catholics] might fuck little kids, but at least we don't strap bombs on them when we're done and drop them off at the bagel shop. Sure, we treat our women like shit, but if we made them all dress like fat ninjas, there wouldn't be a single full pew in the whole fucking world. I mean, it's 2006, how do you assholes get away with it? That part I kind of admire, actually. Jesus H. Christ, this stuff is good."
After pausing to drink deeply from a bejeweled chalice, His Holiness then closed his statement with, "I got your Allah right here," emphasizing his point by tugging sharply through his robes at his own scrotum.
I've been blogging up a storm over there. You should really check it out!
...okay, well, I respect your decision. I won't pretend to understand it, but I respect it.
You know what? Forget that, I don't. I don't respect it. And I don't respect you. Yeah. Yeah, screw you, man. I thought you were my friend. Huh? No, just, don't even... just don't. I don't wanna hear it. Get out, and do not come back.
Just shut up, all of you. SHUT THE FUCK UP.
(Well, that worked.)