September 30, 2008

On the bright side, your average mainstream reporter’s political views will be a perfect fit in his or her new job as a Starbucks barista

"The fix is in, and it's working."

Posted by Jim Treacher at 05:47 AM

"Five: Top billing."

You know what it's all about? It's all about Iowahawk.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:07 AM

Google Biden aneurysm

Sometimes I send e-mails:

To: Slate's Explainer (ask_the_explainer@yahoo.com)
Re: What happens if a presidential candidate passes away at the last second?

What will happen if Biden has an aneurysm? It would only be his third. And I'm pretty sure it can kill you a lot more quickly than skin cancer. Like, y'know, the same day.

Bonus question: Why haven't we seen Obama's medical records? He's 47 and an ex-smoker, but apparently he hasn't seen a doctor in almost 2 years. Or if he has, he won't tell us what he found out. He works out every day and eats arugula, and somehow that makes him immortal?

As long as this stuff is on the table. What are the health risks of holding my breath until I get a reply?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:55 AM

Oh, but I'm so silly to think that anybody at SNL might be reading me

nytlink2.jpg

Do the right thing, Lorne.

P.S. Blame J.R. for getting me going on this.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:34 AM

September 29, 2008

Glad I could help, Lorne

"SNL" extends strong ratings run

The unpaid writing staff on the Internet is a great cost-cutting measure, too.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:39 PM

September 28, 2008

Seriously, I think Lorne Michaels might owe me some money

From last night's debate sketch on SNL, courtesy of NBC.com:

Lehrer: Now let's turn to the topic of nuclear proliferation. Senator Obama, you have frequently been critical of this administration's efforts to stop Iran and North Korea's nuclear weapons programs.

Obama: Uh, I have.

L: What would you do differently?

O: Uh, first of all, Jim, I would use traditional diplomacy. Something this administration has consistently refused to do. Should that fail, then and only then would I try what I call "playing the race card."

L: And how would that work?

O: Take North Korea. I would ask Kim Jong-il to shut down his country's nuclear weapons program. If he declined, I would say to him, "Alright, I get it. I know why you're really refusing to stop the program." And he would say, "No. What are you talking about?" And I would say, "It's because I don't look like all the other presidents you've dealt with." And then he would say, "Wait. That's not fair. That has nothing to do with it." And I would add, "That's cool. I understand. I'm different. I'm not like the other guys on the 5- and 10-dollar bills." It's a long, delicate process. But eventually, he'll have to give in.

obamaSNL.jpg

Compare that with this post, which I wrote on Sept. 19:

A scene from Obama's first term

OObama: The United States demands that you cease all efforts to manufacture nuclear weaponry.*

Ahmadinejad: No way, Yankee dog. Death to America!

[Pause]

O: Huh. Okay, I get it.

A: ...what?

O: No, no, I get it.

A: Get what? All I said was "Death to America."

O: Don't worry about it, man. That's just the way it is, I get it.

A: The way what is? Seriously, I don't understand.

O: Right.

A: Is it because I hate America? I didn't think you people had a prob--

O: "You people!"

A: No, wait.

O: "You people." That's just great.

A: No, all I mean is, is, you know... When your wife said that thing about... Just hold on a second, this is going way too fast.

O: Hey, if you guys want to keep trying to build nukes, I think we all understand what you're really saying.

A: I'm really saying I want all unbelievers to burn! Why are you trying to read something bad into it?

O: It's okay, you can say it. I don't look like the presidents on the dollar bills.

A: What are you talking about? Have I gone insane or something?

[AND SCENE]

*I know, I know, he'd never actually say this. Just go with it for the sake of the joke.

Coincidence? Seems pretty darn close to me. They did switch dictators, but that's about it. And my traffic has been way up over the last month. I'm even getting links from places like the Washington Post and the New York Times. (Also known as "news-papers.") So it's not entirely outside the realm of possibility that maybe, possibly, somebody at 30 Rockefeller Center might've kinda sorta taken a shortcut. And why not? It's not like stealing or anything. It's only the Internet.

I will accept a personal check, Lorne.

P.S. Fun discussion.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:01 PM

And to the writer of the "Obama will play the race card on world leaders" joke on SNL last night?

You're welcome.

P.S. Dear Tina: Whatever happened to "Bitch is the new black"?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:57 PM

Thanks, I guess

nytlink.jpg

Since somebody over there is reading me, apparently, could you please Google Axelrod astroturfing? Thanks in advance.

Taking a quick look at Palin's Blogrunner page, it looks like the current CW is that she's done for. Deja vu, huh? Sounds a lot like what they were saying in the days leading up to her acceptance speech. These people have the long-term memories of parakeets. Nobody's mentioned Eagleton today, at least.

Well, if Oct. 2 is anything like Sept. 3, Obama is in for a long night.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:28 PM

September 27, 2008

The Difference

To make Sarah Palin look bad, her detractors have to twist her words into the opposite of what she really said.

To make her detractors look bad, all you have to do is walk down the street.

(thx, gordo)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:46 PM

Yet another false, defamatory "Palin is a secessionist" smear ad is up on Youtube

It's called "Palin's Secret Allegiance" and it's here, at least as of 5 p.m. EST. And here's the user page for unitedwestand5077, who joined on Sept. 25 and posted the ad the same day:

unitedwestand5077.jpg

The Jawa Report has more details. This one doesn't seem (to me, anyway) to be as professionally produced as the previous false, defamatory smear ad by Ethan Winner of Winner & Associates, but it's still a lie and whoever created it knows that. You can watch Palin's entire 82-second statement here. As Rusty Shackleford points out, the full quote they've truncated is, "I share your party's vision of upholding the Constitution of our great state. My administration remains focused on reining in government growth so individual liberty and opportunity can expand. I know you agree with that." She also reminded them that Fairbanks, where their convention was held, was the same city where Alaska's Constitution was created.

Wow, how radical, huh? She didn't say anything outside her duties as governor, and she said it in a tone of civil disagreement and with a gentle reminder that the attendees of the convention were going against their state's own history. Cutting off her quote to make it sound like she's a secessionist is just another baseless slur. That's the exact opposite of what she was saying. It's like taking a clip of Obama saying "I am not a Muslim" and editing out the word "not."

On the bright side, if this is the best they can come up with, she's doing fine. Palinoia strikes deep!

P.S. Following the links from the Youtube video, a Democratic Underground thread where it's discussed is here, and the same ad is on Google Video here.

P.P.S. Here's the full text of her statement. Emphasis mine, for anybody who's too thick to get it:

I'm Governor Sarah Palin, and I am delighted to welcome you to the 2008 Alaskan Independence Party Convention in the Golden Heart City, Fairbanks.

Your party plays an important role in our state's politics. I've always said that competition is so good, and that applies to political parties as well. I share your party's vision of upholding the Constitution of our great state. My administration remains focused on reining in government growth so individual liberty and opportunity can expand. I know you agree with that. We have a great promise to be a self-sufficient state, made up of the hardest-working, most grateful Americans in our nation.

So as your convention gets under way, I hope that you all are inspired by remembering that all those years ago, it was in this same city that Alaska's Constitution was born. And it was founded on hope, and trust, and liberty, and opportunity. I carry that message of opportunity forward in my administration as we continue to move our state ahead and create positive change.

So I say: Good luck on a successful and inspiring convention, keep up the good work, and God bless you.

Some secessionist, huh?

If you still don't get it, here's what she's saying: "I don't agree with you, but it's a free country: America. Where you live. Let's just try to remember what we have in common, okay?" She's meeting free speech with free speech, and reminding people she disagrees with that they have a common bond, instead of trying to shout them down.

Compare and contrast this with how Obama treats those who disagree with him.

P.P.P.S. Come to think of it, Palin was doing much the same thing McCain did with his congratulatory ad the day of Obama's acceptance speech. You know, reaching across the aisle. Expressing goodwill and fellowship. Showing some class. No wonder McCain picked this lady.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:51 PM

Mad About You and Your Socialism

I wasn't going to say anything about the debate, because, you know. WTF. It was a debate. But a guy who's been eaten by an Alien has commented on it.

No, really.

So. There's that.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:42 AM

September 26, 2008

This post is racist

obama-number-2.jpg

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:10 AM

Here's Why Sarah Palin Will Get Killed in the Debate, Pt. 3

palinbiden3.jpg

Haw haw! Wotta dope. It's one thing to think it. But to say it out loud in front of the whole world? Man oh man, this is the worst pick for vice president ever. Can't wait for the debate!

Pt. 1
Pt. 2

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:25 AM

September 25, 2008

Got linked by the Washington Post

trenchwarfare.jpg

Click it to go there. As recently as a month ago, that might have been a big deal. Back before You Know Who came along and removed any doubt that the people we depend on to tell us the news of the world are all completely insane. (Thanks to the Weekly Standard, though. Yeah, they're biased, but at least they admit it.)

Still, it's a good enough excuse for me to take the day off. That and running out of vodka-bottle molotovs to clear my sinuses.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:36 PM

September 24, 2008

A bit of perspective

There's at least as much evidence of a connection between Ethan Winner and the Obama campaign as there's evidence of a connection between Trig Palin and Bristol's uterus.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:47 PM

Everything I was going to write about the Ethan Winner scandal has been covered by this Youtube clip

Michelle Malkin explains it, clearly and precisely, on Fox News.

Now, it's Michelle Malkin on Fox News, so Olbermann's thick, dented skull is already pulsating. And O'Reilly's going to be covering it tonight, so they might want to put down plastic around the Countdown desk. But it's all true.

(Although I'm not surprised that Bill Hemmer doesn't know how the Internet operates. He barely knows how his hair dryer operates. How does Megyn Kelly put up with him day after day?)

The rest of the press is squeamish about covering the Winner Soldier mess, of course. Why? For the same reason they were squeamish about covering the Rielle Hunter fiasco: Because it might hurt their hero's chances of election.

Which is the same reason they're freaking out over not having unfettered access to Palin even though they wannit-wannit-wannit. How dare she put them on timeout until they can behave themselves? How can they twist her words if she won't give them any? Of course, they didn't complain when Obama held them off the same way. Because in that case, even just a brief moment basking in the radiance of The One was sufficient to nourish those reporters' souls and fill their hearts with enough love for a lifetime. Everything was perfect until that bitch came along!

hillary1984.jpgSpeaking of "bitch is the new black," the press didn't tread so lightly around Obama's astroturfing when it smeared Hillary. Remember that anti-Hillary "1984" ad way back in March '07, which was supposedly created by somebody with no connection to the Obama campaign? Well...

The creator of the faux-Apple ad against Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton has been unmasked as a Democratic operative who worked for a digital consulting firm with ties to Sen. Barack Obama, NBC News confirmed Wednesday night -- leaving Obama on the spot.

Andrea Mitchell said that. On MSNBC. For some reason, way back in the old days (18 months ago) it wasn't racist to hold Obama accountable for his actions. Mitchell even said:

The entire episode hangs a cloud over the Obama camp.

Oh, I get it. A dark cloud, right? Next time leave your white hood at home, Andrea! No, on second thought, please wear it whenever you're on the air.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:17 AM

Here's Why Sarah Palin Will Get Killed in the Debate, Pt. 2

palinbiden.jpg

Nice try, you moose-murdering moron! Dumbest. Vice-Presidential Candidate. Ever.

Pt. 1
Pt. 3

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:23 AM

September 23, 2008

And then he grew up to be a conservative blogger for The Atlantic

"I don't want to put my willy in that secret hole."

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:31 PM

Never mind

obamapuppy.JPG

Obama/Biden '08!!!

P.S. Give it a name. The dog, I mean, not Obama's humiliation. I'm calling this adorable sweetie Biden's Little Follicle Donor.

P.P.S. from the I Wish I'd Said That, and Now Of Course I Will file. The Talk Arena corrects me:

What I see is a cute, fluffy, adorable little creature with a small mind but a devotion and love for its handlers. Handlers who feed and water and pet it on its little head every day.

And a dog.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:23 PM

Quick correction for Marc Ambinder

Over at a once-prestigious magazine called The Atlantic, Ambinder says this about the Ethan Winner story:

Partisans of the Republican ticket have every right to believe that the Obama campaign is malevolent, and to assume the worst of motivations; certainly, liberal partisans reciprocate. But it takes a willfull [sic] suspension of belief [sic] to assume that the Obama campaign is stupid.

Does it take a willful suspension of disbelief to assume that the Obama campaign is arrogant? Because that's what this behavior is. That's why you would put up a blatantly slanderous Youtube video about your opponent via a thinly disguised surrogate. It's not stupid; it's arrogant.

And why wouldn't Obama be arrogant at this point? His proven ties to racial separatists and domestic terrorists are no problem for the media. They're too busy digging into Palin's PTA squabbles and traffic tickets and whatever else to bother looking into Obama's involvement in Freddie & Fannie. McCain's melanomas are supposedly career-ending, but Biden's aneurysms aren't. Not to mention the media's total lack of curiosity about Obama's medical condition, which we know almost nothing about. If Obama's getting away with all that and more, why would he worry about getting caught out doing something like this? He knows he's got fast-fading media outlets like The Atlantic to cover for him. He can just deny it and blame McCain. They'll buy it.

Speaking of the cover of The Atlantic...

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:08 PM

Here's Why Sarah Palin Will Get Killed in the Debate, Pt. 1

chuck.jpg

But I hardly need to remind you. Her astonishing gaffe has made front-page headlines for the past two weeks. Good luck, dummy!

Pt. 2
Pt. 3

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:55 PM

PR Firm Linked to Obama's Campaign Manager Is Behind Palin Smear

jawa.jpg...is a headline you'll never see in the New York Times, even though David Axelrod's associate Ethan Winner has just admitted putting up that false, defamatory "Palin is a secessionist" ad on Youtube.

Do you think you'd see this headline?

PR Firm Linked to McCain's Campaign Manager Is Behind Biden Smear

I'm guessing you would. Although such a smear would be a waste of time and money on McCain's part, because the only thing you need to make Biden look bad is a piece of duct tape that is not placed over his mouth.

Winner_Ethan.jpgAre you wondering why Ethan Winner, of Winner & Associates, deleted the Youtube account he'd had since Aug. '06 within hours after Rusty Shackleford at the Jawa Report pointed out the Winner/Axelrod connection? You'll never guess:

Some people have asked why I have pulled the video from the Internet. The reason is simple. Following the posting of personal information about me by the Jawa Report, my family began to receive threatening and abusive phone calls and emails.

This happened, we're led to believe, between 12:15 a.m. and around 4:30 a.m. EST on Monday morning. That's a little over four hours between Shackleford's post and the deletion of the eswinner Youtube account. In the dead of night. He's a regular Jack Bauer, this kid.

Presumably it was the abusive phone calls, and not the abusive e-mails, that woke them up in the middle of the night. Even though Shackleford didn't give out any phone numbers... Come to think of it, which part of that post was "personal information"? Specifics, please.

But hey, if the Winner family really is being harassed by right-wing nutjobs, it's our duty to fix this mess. As commenter Apogee at Patterico.com points out:

It should be quite easy for the Jawa Report to see who logged onto their page between the first upload of the post and the time the video was removed.

Cross indexing the IP addresses of those hits at Jawa with the origination area codes of the offending calls on Winners' incoming phone logs, we should be able to find these dastardly phone terrorists and pay them a visit. After all, it's a very short period of time.

Winner would be happy to cooperate.

Right?

Right.

P.S. "I'll have to get back to you as soon as I can."

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:15 AM

September 22, 2008

More consciousness of guilt

Ace catches the Daily Kos sweeping more evidence of an organized anti-Palin smear campaign under the rug. If this stuff is all above board, par for the course, why are they scrambling to hide it?

By the way, if you've read Rusty Shackleford's post about the Winner family and their alleged connection to Obama, and you find it convincing, one way to spread the word would be to forward the link to Business Week. Their March 14 story, "The Secret Side of David Axelrod," about his side business as an astroturfer, sure does ring some bells when you analyze this anti-Palin campaign. Business Week's contact form is here. They might be interested in this new information, being one of the few mainstream media outlets to cover Axelrod's shenanigans.

I guess I'm doing some astroturfing myself by pointing you to it and encouraging you to write in. How about that, huh?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:59 PM

Here's a survey I'd like to see

Instead of polling Democrats for their responses to adjectives about blacks, how about polling Democrats for their responses to adjectives about pinkos? That might sway things a bit more in Obama's favor.

Here's an interesting factoid from the preceding AP story:

"Not all whites are prejudiced."

They know this because some of their best friends are white.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:58 AM

The Winner of Our Discontent

I don't have anything else beyond the headline, but I just wanted to post it before somebody else did. Check Memeorandum for more reactions.

winner.jpg

Update: Patterico calls the ongoing coverup attempts "consciousness of guilt." Sounds like it to me. Note to the New York Times: The alleged Winner/Axelrod/Obama connection is no tanning bed, or even a Daily Kos post making an obstetric diagnosis based on a handful of photos, but there are one or two facts there that you could maybe check. Ha ha, just kidding. Wouldn't want you to get kicked off the payroll.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 05:54 AM

September 21, 2008

This page should be fun to watch for the next few days/weeks

Tee hee!

P.S. Within four five hours after the Rusty Shackleford post about the Winner family (how perfect!) who created that defamatory "Palin is a secessionist" ad, and their possible connection to the Obama campaign, the eswinner account was closed. On a very early Monday morning. Wonder what took so long? Here's what it looked like at 1:45 a.m. EST on Sept. 22, less than two hours after Shackleford's post (and before there were at least four pages of comments):

eswinner.jpg

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:59 PM

So there's supposed to be some kind of big story tonight

Here.

Allegedly.

Hmmm.

P.S. Wow. If that's too much readin' for ya, Ace has a good recap. So does Riehl. Or just watch this. Remember: They're just asking questions.

palinslandered.jpgP.P.S. With apologies to Amused Observer, here's the scoop, in 25 words or less: PR firm linked to Obama's campaign manager apparently responsible for dissemination of knowingly false Palin smears? With the question mark indicating that it's a question.

P.P.P.S. Hey, whaddaya know. If you put up a professionally produced video on Youtube accusing a vice presidential candidate of being a secessionist, but then you take it down within an hour of somebody blogging about it -- at midnight on a Sunday, at that -- it never really happened at all, did it?

P.P.P.P.S. A backup copy of the debunked, slanderous ad can be found here. And it's still on Google Video, at least until they realize it's still on Google Video. I would suggest downloading either or both while you can. Looks like the people responsible for this slander are going to do their best to sweep it under the rug, and they're working 24/7.

And if you're worried that the news won't pick this up: They couldn't ignore Rielle Hunter forever...

Oh! And I came up with the perfect headline for this:

WINNERS FAKE ALL

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:04 PM

And now, a quick word from a gentleman and a scholar

Hi Jim-

I've been enjoying your blog- - a bloody relief this crazed election season. I especially like your take on those obnoxious "hope" and "change" posters. You've inspired me to share with you the one Hope I'd like to see again!

Best,

Batton Lash

HOPE.jpg

Posted by Jim Treacher at 05:58 PM

Hope I don't get Action-Wired

Obamarx

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:57 AM

He forgot the one about her posing with an air rifle in a Stars and Stripes bikini

Presented without comment:

Subject: Misspelling Found in Palin's Personal Journal
From: emile.leplattenier@gmail.com
To: Yours truly
Date: Sun, 21 Sep 2008 1:46 am

vampalin.jpgYeah, Ok, we'll just stick to the lies which she keeps repeating over and over and over again about the bridge, which she was initially for before congress killed it, but she kept the money anyway. Or, I dunno the fact that she went to 5 s***** colleges in 4 years. The fact that she didn't even have a passport until last year, The fact that she billed her taxpayers to stay in her own house, the fact that she tried to ban books from the library, the fact that she's under investigation for firing someone because he refused to fire her brother in law, that she didn't know what the Bush doctrine was, that she sold the state jet at a loss, that she billed the citizens of Wassilla 50k to renovate her office, that she admitted on television that she didn't even know what the VP does every day, that she thinks the Iraq war is gods will, that she keeps f****** saying that she has foreign affairs experience because she can see Russia from her desk, the fact that she took an 8 hour flight, then a 45 minute car ride after her water broke when she was "pregnant" with a baby who had down's syndrome, yeah, that's great. An evangelical hockey mom. that's exactly who we need when we are facing two wars and the worst economic disaster since the great depression.

All this on a ticket with a guy who was so stupid he finished 5th from the bottom of his class at the f****** NAVAL ACADEMY. A guy who crashed 5 planes in the Vietnam war. 5. He's only a war hero because the 5th time he crashed he managed to get his dumb ass captured by the VC.

Look, lets give the smart people a chance to rule for awhile. The last dumb guy didn't work out so well.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:27 AM

Obama tries to lock down the state of Mishegas

Joel Stein brings his usual deep thoughts and impeccable prose style to yet another big story: Obama's effort to get the elderly Jewish vote in Florida by schlepping their grandkids down there next month to guilt them into it.

I can just see it now: "Joseph, how you've grown! It's so good to see you. Why do you never come to see-- What? You want I should vote for the schwartze??"

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:58 AM

September 20, 2008

Minor change

Hope you don't Google Saul Alinsky

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:02 PM

Misspelling Found in Palin's Personal Journal

crosspalin.jpgBy Markos Moulitsas
Special to the New York Times
Saturday, September 20, 2008; A1

Media Bubble, Sept. 20 -- John McCain's presidential campaign is reeling this morning upon allegations that his running mate, Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin, is a poor speller. The charge stems from a passage found in her personal journal, which was obtained by the New York Times via an anonymous source.

"Trig was born one week ago today," the journal's Apr. 25, 2008 entry reads. "I love him so much. This is such a joyus [sic] time for our family."

Merriam-Webster.com has no entry for "joyus." However, "joyous" is defined as "joyful." Palin has ignored all requests for comment on the controversy, which has been dubbed "Dummygate."

"I am gobsmacked," said the NYT's source. "Little did I realize when I bought a plane ticket to Alaska, broke into the governor's house, and vetted through her personal belongings that I would find such a startling, stunning bombshell. My heartache at John McCain's blunder is without limit. Would you like to know where I take loads?"

The spelling error has created a firestorm of controversy in the media. On Friday evening's edition of MSNBC's Countdown, host Keith Olbermann devoted his entire hour to the blunder, which he called "the single most egregious error in judgment, Madam Governor, since Eve went apple-picking." In response to this statement of fact, guest Paul Krugman nodded vigorously for nearly one full minute.

When asked for comment about the scandal, Rep. Charles B. Rangel (R-N.Y.) remarked, "What kind of vice-presidential candidate keeps a journal anyway? This woman actually wants to run the country. 'Dear Diary: Today I looked at my pretty face in the mirror for like an hour, then I declared war on Russia.' Bitch retarded."

Previously: Palin Dodges Tough Questions About Existence of "Alaska"

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:32 AM

September 19, 2008

Fine: Google Biden aneurysms

Doctors call on McCain to release details of bout with skin cancer

Whereas Obama is in perfect health, right? Which we know because his personal physician, Dr. David L. Scheiner, said so when he released a less-than-300-word synopsis of Obama's medical condition. Which was based on the last time he'd seen Obama, back in January 2007. And which is the entirety of what we know about Obama's medical condition. Hey, what could possibly happen to a 47-year-old ex-smoker in 20 months? Why would any reporter worth his j-school degree bother to ask?

(Ha ha, just kidding. I got a j-school degree from the back of a box of Captain Crunch.)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:50 PM

Yes We (Spray) Can

Obama Fans Tag Muncie, IN Republican HQ

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:53 AM

A scene from Obama's first term

OObama: The United States demands that you cease all efforts to manufacture nuclear weaponry.*

Ahmadinejad: No way, Yankee dog. Death to America!

[Pause]

O: Huh. Okay, I get it.

A: ...what?

O: No, no, I get it.

A: Get what? All I said was "Death to America."

O: Don't worry about it, man. That's just the way it is, I get it.

A: The way what is? Seriously, I don't understand.

O: Right.

A: Is it because I hate America? I didn't think you people had a prob--

O: "You people!"

A: No, wait.

O: "You people." That's just great.

A: No, all I mean is, is, you know... When your wife said that thing about... Just hold on a second, this is going way too fast.

O: Hey, if you guys want to keep trying to build nukes, I think we all understand what you're really saying.

A: I'm really saying I want all unbelievers to burn! Why are you trying to read something bad into it?

O: It's okay, you can say it. I don't look like the presidents on the dollar bills.

A: What are you talking about? Have I gone insane or something?

[AND SCENE]

*I know, I know, he'd never actually say this. Just go with it for the sake of the joke.

Update: You're welcome, SNL!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:15 AM

Sarah Palin meets with widespread disdain (among New York feminists)

The NY Sun has all the fun:

Senator McCain's selection of Governor Palin of Alaska as his running mate, which was hailed in some quarters and met with skepticism in others, is sparking intense reactions from some New Yorkers, who report being driven to fits of rage and even all-consuming panic.

"All of my women friends, a week ago Monday, were on the verge of throwing themselves out windows," an author and political activist, Nancy Kricorian of Manhattan, said yesterday.

Fine by me, sweeties, as long as you clean them first.

A posting on a New York-based Web site for women, Jezebel.com, spoke of unbridled anger. "What I feel for her privately could be described as violent, nay, murderous, rage," an associate editor at Jezebel, Jessica Grose, wrote just after the Republican convention wrapped up. "When Palin spoke on Wednesday night, my head almost exploded from the incandescent anger boiling in my skull..."

"It is impossible for me not to read about her in the newspaper in the subway every morning on my way to work and not come into the office angry and wanting to kick things," a commenter using the name ChampagneofBeers wrote. "My boxing class definitely helps."

Try Midol. Or baking something.

Ha ha.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:00 AM

September 18, 2008

An analogy for my fellow bloggers who may lean more to the left

Quick hypothetical with regard to my previous post about the "Obama Action Wire." Let's say the official John McCain website targets you. Something like:

"Blogger X is a lying teller of untruths, and everybody needs to tell this despicable fibber that he or she shouldn't talk about me anymore. Here's a list of things to say in his or her comments. Go, now, hurry."

You suddenly get thousands of hostile comments, all saying the exact same thing. And when they're asked to elaborate on the reasoning behind their opinion, they can't. Because McCain didn't write that part down for them.

Now, in this scenario, wouldn't it be a bit tough to sort through all the thousands of identical crap comments to get to the folks who were actually thinking for themselves? Would you assume that all those commenters, saying the exact same thing but completely unable to defend their assertions, were merely exercising their right to free speech?

Or wouldn't you see it as a form of spamming, and an attempt to intimidate you into leaving McCain alone?

Probably not. Never mind.

P.S. Ace Slublog: "One of the great ironies of this election is that liberals are worshiping a guy who embodies everything they claim to hate about the Bush administration."

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:27 AM

September 17, 2008

Which is more racist?

Pointing out that Obama is articulate?

Or pointing out that he's not?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:02 PM

They hope people don't notice how they've changed the ground rules

milt.jpgIn today's Chicago Tribune, the Obama camp responds to nitpicky concerns about their attempts to shut down radio shows that might say things they don't like, via their "Obama Action Wires":

"The Action Wire serves as a means of arming our supporters with the facts to take on those who spread lies about Barack Obama and respond forcefully with the truth, whether it's an author passing off fiction as biography, a Web site spreading baseless conspiracy theories or a TV station airing an ad that makes demonstrably false claims," said Obama spokesman Ben LaBolt.

Having listened to the previous Milt Rosenberg show with Stanley Kurtz that got "Action-Wired" (which is available here), I can tell you what this translates to:

"We'll provide a page of talking points for you to spout at the host and his guest. Just read it from your screen. Unfortunately, we're unable to provide you with the necessary brainpower to keep up when the host asks you to explain the reasoning behind 'your' opinion, or poses any other question that isn't found in our script.

"But that isn't the point anyway. We just want to tie up their phone lines with thousands of angry calls, both to intimidate them and to prevent people with legitimate questions from getting through. Yes We Can... Shout Down All Blasphemers."

This is not free speech. This is not "people expressing their opinion." This is people expressing Obama's opinion. This is a powerful politician arrogantly abusing that power to try to silence his critics, without even bothering to hide behind Media Matters or Kos, because he knows he can get away with it. This is wrong.

As far as I know, the only precedent in presidential politics is the buffoonish antics of Lyndon LaRouche followers. And I don't think even he ever put out a "LaRouche Action Wire." Probably because he didn't think of it first. Not to mention that he's never had a chance in hell of winning.

What if you have some vague notion that Obama is in any way a good candidate, but you don't like talking on the phone? Well, you can just hack his opponents' e-mail accounts. We are the vermin we've been waiting for.

P.S. But of course I could be wrong, and Jesse Taylor provides a thoughtful, measured, well-informed rebuttal. Here's one of the things he(?) rightly points out I've said:

So, apparently, any time someone calls and registers their displeasure with something, it’s actually a violation of other people's first amendment rights.

It's probably my fault for being unclear. What I was trying to say is that when the callers are registering their displeasure at the behest of a presidential campaign, and they're unable to defend their assertions when they get knocked off the talking points they're reading from the candidate's official website, and the station is getting thousands of such identical calls... I know it's fascist of me, but that seems a bit odd.

P.P.S. Although upon further reflection, it's unfair to say that all those Obama supporters were reading their script directly from his website. Some of them might have printed it off.

P.P.P.S. I'm informed by a reliable source that the RethugliKKKan$ do it too. They target specific media outlets that say unapproved things about their presidential candidates, call them evil liars, and swarm their phone lines. The callers are totally at sea when they're forced to go off-script. They do that all the time. The reason we haven't heard about it, presumably, is because the right-wing media is in the pocket of the Rechimplicker Party. I'm also told that the wingnuts have cornered the market on astroturfing, which must be news to David Axelrod.

P.P.P.P.S. Another dissenting opinion from Nick W.:

free speech is allowing people to counter hate and lies
translate? yes when a racist like you translates it sounds just like aryan nation or kkk

Well, there's always that. Remember: Any criticism of Obama is inherently racist, and that includes not voting for him. You know what to do, America.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:52 PM

What's the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull?

Attendance.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:57 PM

Two questions, one clip

Watch this, if you dare.


  1. Good point, Whoopi: What would John McCain know about being imprisoned and beaten for years by people who hate you because of where you came from? (Thanks, Esthier.)
  2. Could Gutfeld's face be any bigger? Just kidding, Greg. Of course it could.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:08 PM

Northern Exposure (of fears, biases, and lamentation over lost youth)

I just deep-fried myself in Dowdytown. Here's just a snippet of Maureen lowering herself to our level for several excruciating days:

I sautéed myself in Sarahville last week.

I wandered through the Wal-Mart, which seemed almost as large as Wasilla, a town that is a soulless strip mall without sidewalks set beside a soulful mountain and lake.

It's unclear how Dowd was able to gauge the lake's soulfulness without -- as I now invite her to do -- jumping in.

Do these people really think they're helping Obama? Yes, of course they're enlightened and sophisticated, possessed of a level of taste and discernment far beyond the comprehension of such simple backwoods folk. And of course Mo & Co. take it as their due to look down upon the common rabble with which they're being forced to associate. But do they really believe this will appeal to anyone but their own rapidly dwindling audience? Will it actually convince anybody who's on the fence not to vote McCain/Palin?

Let's hope they don't wise up before November.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:42 AM

September 16, 2008

You know what the Big Lie theory is, right?

Proof, if you still need it, that God does not strike us down with lightning:

David Axelrod, Barack Obama's chief strategist, said Sunday that John McCain is running the "sleaziest and least honorable campaign in modern presidential campaign history."

David Axelrod said this.

David Axelrod.

What these people are doing is wrong.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:06 PM

If we don't all wake up...

...someday soon a callow, shallow, vindictive, underhanded, woefully unqualified candidate will be a heartbeat away from the presidency.

Then he'll finish the inaugural oath.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:07 PM

The leg show alone will be historic

Next week: Couric vs. Palin.

If you think Katie will be a sneering, condescending harpy* just because Sarah's a Republican, keep in mind that the two of them have something to bond over: They've both endured highly publicized colonoscopies.

P.S. They can also compare tans. Did you know Palin owns a tanning booth? Which she paid for out of her own pocket? In a place where in the winter it's dark for almost 20 hours a day? Oh, and a tanning booth can cost up to $35,000. In other news, I own a car, which can cost $100,000 or more. A word of advice for John McCain: Concede, sir.

*As opposed to Charlie Gibson, who was a sneering, condescending gargoyle.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:37 AM

September 15, 2008

All hail our glorious leader! (But for a few pesky formalities)

It was bad enough that on Aug. 27, the Obama campaign put out an "Action Wire" encouraging people to disrupt WGN Radio's nightly talk show, Extension 720 with Milt Rosenberg. The station was inundated with phone calls and e-mails directed there by Obama, all spouting the same designated talking points. Why? For daring to say things about Obama that Obama didn't want said.

But tonight, after two weeks of getting their butts handed to them by Sarah Palin and coming under wider scrutiny for their increasingly desperate tactics, the campaign has sent out another "Action Wire." Against the same show! This time they want to shut up Rosenberg's guest David Freddoso, author of The Case Against Barack Obama. After the show tonight, WGN will be putting up an MP3 here. I want to hear how it went.

Note: The official Obama campaign website is doing this. They're screaming about McCain running the sleaziest campaign ever, while they're actively trying to stifle dissent against Obama. Not refuting it; not ridiculing it; not even engaging with it. Trying to keep it from being said at all. If this is like last time, they won't even send a campaign rep to the show, which is just down the street from their HQ. No, just send in the phone zombies.

And they're getting away with this. I guess because if you have a problem with it, you're a racist?

Can you imagine the front-page stories all over the world if McCain tried this crap? Hell, if Palin even listens to the radio, the next day she has somebody in the New York Times analyzing her car presets for sinister intent.

I've got my Amazon Kindle right here and I just downloaded Freddoso's book. While I still can. If Obama's so scared of it that he's pulling these kinds of thug tactics, I'm voting with my wallet. And now, I'm sitting down to read.

P.S. Guy Benson has more details. In particular, the Obama campaign's "leprechaun" reference is an interesting piece of bait.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:15 PM

Yet another reason to like (OR HATE WITH THE FURY OF 1,000 SUPERNOVAS) Sarah Palin

She's lured Greg Gutfeld back to HuffPo. Questions are raised! Keep an eye on the comments, because I get the feeling there'll be a whole lotta seethin' goin' on.

By the way, you can find a list of the books she's banned here. It might take a while to get through it. Bring a book!

I actually wrote a book about all the books she's banned, but she banned it. Then she shook her grandson Trig in my face and screamed, "Go back ta Russia!" (which was right across the street), and then Jesus rode by on his pet dinosaur and they all seceded from the Union. The woman is a menace.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:41 PM

Kos reveals more about himself than he probably intended*

To all the concerned people emailing me about "being played", don't waste your time. I'm not about to revert to writing puff pieces about Obama thinking that his magic "new politics" [caca del toro] will carry us to victory. He may or may not believe that crap, but I don't. We're going to win this thing the way campaigns are won -- by playing hardball. Politics is a blood sport. Republicans understand this and never flinch from flinging the [word he doesn't get to use in Newsweek]. We won't win until we learn to fight back in kind. And I'm more than happy to get down in the mud with our friends on the Right so Obama doesn't have to.

We know, honey. So far, so good! ;)

*Assuming he has any sort of self-knowledge at all, which perhaps is being kind.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:06 AM

September 14, 2008

T sn?

Trs Nlsn Hydn hs hd mnr hrt ttck. Sh's dng fn nw, thgh, nd w wsh hr spdy rcvry.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:07 PM

Apparently, this is supposed to make me like him less

and.jpg

The whole story of one woman's pictorial perfidy is here and here. I really hope these nitwits keep doing this stuff right up until Nov. 4.

And for my fellow nerds who saw this picture and immediately thought, "Hey, that looks like an Alex Ross painting," check this out. Remember: It's all about the issues.

P.S. You might remember Jill Greenberg, the photographer in question, from her thought-provoking End Times exhibition back in 2006. That's the one where she made children cry by offering them candy and grabbing it away, and then took close-up pictures of the results. Because George Bush is bad.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:07 PM

Isn't that just like a Dem?

Brings a melanoma to an aneurysm fight.

Seriously. If this is how they want to play? Let's play.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:37 PM

SiteMeter:

BiteMeter.

P.S. Current top post on their blog: SiteMeter Rollback. Previous post, earlier today: We're Up an [sic] running. I haven't seen a bubble burst this quickly since Obama had a mere 12 hours to bask in The Best Speech Anybody's Ever Even Heard About.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:37 PM

Another interesting fact about Obama's "Ha ha, McCain is a cripple" ad

In the last 3 days it's been viewed almost over 250,000 times on Youtube, but there are only 5 comments. All positive. And no video responses whatsoever, apparently.

Guess everybody really does love Obama!

P.S. O Ritz writes: "I tried to post a comment on the youtube 'Still' video yesterday morning and it hasn't been posted." Well, that's weird. Maybe it's just a Youtube glitch. Is anybody able to post comments to any other videos there? Maybe it's not the Obama campaign stifling dissent...

P.P.S. ABC's Jake Tapper has posted an accurate account of the ad and why it stinks. Let's hope Charlie doesn't find out.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:10 PM

David Foster Wallace, R.I.P.

They're saying it was a suicide. He was 46.

I've never been able to get through Infinite Jest, but just the other day I started reading Up, Simba! Here's Amazon's description:

In February 2000, Rolling Stone magazine sent David Foster Wallace, "NOT A POLITICAL JOURNALIST," on the road for a week with Senator John McCain's campaign to win the Republican nomination for the presidency. They wanted to know why McCain appealed so much to so many Americans, and particularly why he appealed to the "Young Voters" of America who generally show nothing but apathy.

(Keep in mind, that was a whole 8 years ago.)

This stinks. I wish David Foster Wallace hadn't killed himself.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:02 AM

A Tale of Two Tinas

palinfey.jpgTina Fey on SNL, 2/23/08:

...We have our first serious female presidential candidate in Hillary Clinton. And yet, women have come so far as feminists that they don't feel obligated to vote for a candidate just because she's a woman. Women today feel perfectly free to make whatever choice Oprah tells them to.

Which raises the question: Why are people abandoning Hillary for Obama? Some say that they're put off by the fact that Hillary "can't control her husband," and that we would end up with "co-presidents." 'Cause that would be terrible. Having two intelligent, qualified people working together to solve problems? Yuck! Why would you let Starsky talk to Hutch? "I wanna watch that show Starsky!"

You know, what's it, America, what is it? Are you weirded out that they're married? 'Cause I can promise you, they are having exactly as much sex with each other as George Bush and Jeb Bush are.

Then there is the physical scrutiny of her physical appearance. Rush Limbaugh, the Jeff Conaway of right-wing radio, said that he doesn't think America is ready to watch their president "turn into an old lady in front of them." Really? They didn't seem to mind when Ronald Reagan did that!

Maybe what bothers me the most is that people say that Hillary is a bitch. Let me say something about that: Jjyeah, she is! And so am I, and so is this one [indicates small blonde woman to her left]. You know what? Bitches get stuff done. That's why Catholic schools use nuns as teachers and not priests. Those nuns are mean old clams and they sleep on cots and they're allowed to hit you. And at the end of the school year, you hated those bitches... but you knew the capital of Vermont.

So I'm saying, it's not too late, Texas and Ohio! Get on board! Bitch is the new black!

Tina Fey on SNL, 9/13/08:

Hiyyy, Iyyy'm Sarah Payyylin! How's it goin', eh? Iyyy don't knoh nuthin'. Iyyy burn books and Iyyy hate furrners and Iyyy think a diyyynosaur bit off John the Baptist's head, and other stuff ya read on the Daily Kos, yah. Iyyy'm so dumb, Iyyy didn't even knoh what Chyarlie Giyyybson was talkin' aboot... yah knoh, that one thing even he couldn't properly defiyyyne.

Iyyy haven't been through all the triyyyals and triyyybulations Hillary has, stayin' with Biyyyll so she can riyyyde his coaht-taiyyyls. Iyyy just raiyyysed a family of fiyyyve while becomin' gohvernohr of a stayyyte and cleanin' up my own pahrtyyy. You betcha, yah. Doyyyyyyy!

Apparently it's good to be a bitch... unless the bitch is better-looking than you. Well, okay, I'm sure the looming threat to Fey's entire worldview also has something to do with her sudden repudiation of feminism.

Did love the Palin poses, though. Apparently Fey has been scrutinizing her physical appearance?

P.S. To Mr. Damon and the writing staff at SNL: Seriously, the "dinosaurs" thing comes from a blog joke. She did not actually say that. Please don't be so silly. (Unless you're trying to hurt Obama. In which case, feel free.) It was also debunked on CNN, which may be why you didn't hear about it.

P.P.S. A Palin campaign adviser says: "She thought it was quite funny, especially because the governor has dressed up as Tina Fey for Halloween." That's right, guys, she's just a dumb sledneck with no media savvy whatsoever...

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:08 AM

September 13, 2008

MCCAIN PREVARICATED, CROWD WAS OVERESTIMATED

McCain-Palin Crowd-Size Estimates Not Backed by Officials

That's it, game over, time for Maverick to concede.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 05:46 PM

ABC: Anything But Candor

If you're a longtime media pro like Charlie Gibson and you've convinced yourself that a vice-presidential candidate is an ignorant, warmongering yokel because she has an (R) after her name, apparently you won't even let her own words disabuse you of that notion. Newsbusters has the details.

And if you're a longtime media consumer and feel like writing to Mr. Gibson, click here. This is the letter I just sent:

Dear Charlie,

Thanks for your interview with Sarah Palin, but we have one request. Next time, could you not treat her like a genocidal pedophile who just strangled your dog? Charles Manson got a fairer shake than this woman.

And if you could avoid editing out anything that makes her look good, hitting her with nebulous gotcha questions that nobody else on earth could answer any better than she did, and just plain making stuff up, that'd be great too.

Signed,
Your Dwindling Viewership

(You're limited to 500 characters on the web form. Good idea on their part. I submitted this as "Stewart Pidaso," which I think you'll agree is the height of wit.)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:51 PM

PDS?

Yes, it's obvious that an extreme form of mental illness has swept the newsrooms and left-wing blogs of this great nation ever since Sarah Palin showed up and cheerfully stomped on their dreams with her open-toed pumps. But "Palin Derangement Syndrome" just doesn't do it for me. I prefer:

Palinoia.

The Obama camp, as part of this "tough" "gloves-off" approach, is already throwing out code words like "swiftboating" and "Rovian." Talk about playing to the base. How long before they start bleating, "What about Building 7?"

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:56 AM

September 12, 2008

Doddergate

That's what I hereby name this. And it can be added to my list of Obama's less-than-classy actions here.

P.S. As Perfunction points out, the "1982" ad specifies that McCain can't send e-mail. Not doesn't or won't, but can't.

obamastinks.jpg

So this definitely goes in the Obama Is a Jerk file. Either they're too panicky and incompetent to spend 10 minutes with Google before launching their "new" approach with this miserable ad, or they're calling out McCain for having been tortured. Either way, Obama approved that message. Jerk.

If the campaign takes that video down from their official Youtube page, which would be par for the course, you can watch it here and here. Unless those get taken down too. Which would be par for the course.

P.P.S. Some Obama flunky says McCain is...

...removed from the day-to-day challenges people have faced in their lives.

Yeah, challenges like combing your own hair and tying your own shoes. Challenges he has a little trouble with because he was tortured by the Viet Cong North Vietnamese* for 5 years. Which we're not supposed to bring up anymore, apparently. Which must be why you mental giants just did.

I've really had it with these creeps. First they go after a woman's children, and then they mock a guy for not being as spry as he was before he went off to war. (Meanwhile, Obama keeps whining that Palin made fun of his resume.) Yeah, I know I'm an immature dumbass with a sick sense of humor, but I'm not running for the Oval Office. Maybe it's just me, but pointing at an older gentleman with crippling war injuries and going, "Ha ha, you can't send a Myspace blast!" seems less than presidential. What's next, comparing their Guitar Hero scores?

They keep trying to paint McCain as a guy who can't get enough war, and now they're giggling at him because he can't get into a flamewar.

P.P.P.S. Obama just canceled his scheduled appearance tonight on SNL. He's blaming Hurricane Ike, but I suspect it's really because they couldn't think of any good cripple jokes.

P.P.P.P.S. Ho Chi Minh was a community organizer.

*Sorry for the mistake, Obsidian Wings. When you're speaking up against the mockery of a veteran's torture injuries that prevent him from updating his FriendFeed page, you'd damn well better get the torturers' names right or your whole point is invalid. Good thing I didn't get the color of their uniforms wrong.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:31 PM

Hitler was a community organizer, FDR was a governor

If they can launch their moronic memes, why shouldn't we? We don't have Axelrod's astroturfing staff to spread it overnight, but I'm sure we can make do.

Keep up the good work, Barry. (You should watch that clip. That's what made me think of this dumb meme. Hey, if they get to compare Palin to Pontius Pilate... Not to mention stupid Madonna's stupid stupidity.)

P.S. I stand corrected:

Subject: Hitler
Date: 9/13/2008 12:11:41 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time
From: nwerle@gmail.com

Community organizing is a process by which people living in close proximity to each other, are brought together to act in their common self-interest. Community

so Hitler was looking out for jews self interst

you f***ing moron

And Pontius Pilate sentenced Jesus to death, just like Sarah Palin? Hey, no analogy is perfect...

P.P.S. Godwin? He's not the boss of me.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:53 PM

Did you know McCain is super-old?

ludacris_obama.jpgObama is now going after McCain for being "an out-of-touch, out-of-date computer illiterate." Which is smart. Young people have always been the most reliable voting bloc in American politics, and they will turn out in great numbers to oppose any reminder of their own mortality.

One way of getting in touch with young folks is to speak to them via the medium of popular music. A little known fact I just made up is that John F. Kennedy was the original drummer for the Beatles. That's how he became president, because all those cheering, fainting girls voted for him.

But we're living in the here and now, and the hip hop sounds are what today's kids like! So I've written a rap song for Barack to rap so he can become president because he's not some old white dude:

Well! My! Name is Obama and you're going to hail the Chief
McCain's so old that he's missing several teeth

I jog every day and nutrition is a must
If McLame fell down, his fool ass would turn to dust

I'm smooth and I'm youthful and I look good in a suit
He's a cranky old bastard and a cancer-ridden coot

He tried to send an e-mail but he couldn't find a stamp
He has to wear Depends or his trousers get damp
Way back in the '80s, his nickname was "Gramps"
And his wheelchair's hilarious without an access ramp

My Twitter page tells you which tie I've just selected
So don't vote McCain, he's far too old to be elected

Seriously, please don't vote for him
I want to be president very badly and if I lose, my wife will kill me
Literally
You people can't do this to me over some snowbilly baby-machine out of a Coen Brothers movie

Peace and I am out!

It's a work in progress, obviously, but once it's finished I really think it's going to get the youth vote out to the polls.

P.S. But seriously, folks: These last two days we've got a young presidential candidate ineptly doing the dozens on his older, more experienced opponent, and an elderly network news anchor seething with frustration over his inability to destroy a young, less experienced vice-presidential candidate. Which would seem to be working at cross-purposes. "Young people, old people... why not alienate 'em all?" Except McCain and Palin have that one thing in common: the scarlet (R). So flail away!

P.P.S. And we know Charlie Gibson is Internet-savvy, because he Googled those questions 10 minutes before the interview. He has no problem using a computer because he wasn't tortured for 5 years, unless you count waiting for Peter Jennings to give up his seat.

P.P.P.S. Those gloves Obama just took off? They're pink, they go up above the elbow, and he wears them to the opera. BAM!!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:15 PM

Anchorage vs. Anchor Rage

Why is Charlie Gibson so angry at Sarah Palin? Based on yesterday's performance -- and that's the exact word for it -- you'd think he was interviewing Richard Speck or the Zodiac Killer. If they were Republicans. (Actually, do we have any proof Palin isn't Zodiac? Can she account for her whereabouts at that time? You'd better get on that one, Andy.)

And based on the transcript ABC just released of Pt. 3, Gibson is so torked off at her that he can't even remember if Alaska is a state or a country. After the dozens of baseless charges they've blindly flung at her over the last two weeks, the swiftness with which those charges have been debunked, and the massive groundswell of Palinmania this smear campaign has inadvertently caused... You'd think a network news anchor could at least attempt a civil tone.

Or maybe that's why he's so frustrated? Maybe he sees her as some sort of slippery Arctic eel who nobody can hit with one scurrilous accusation after another, for the simple reason that they're not true. I can see how that might be irritating to a veteran journalist who's convinced he knows everything.

Or maybe he understands that he'll never hear the end of it around the office if he doesn't act like a dick.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:43 PM

Pretty girls make graves...

...for old men with bifocals and Kos talking points. Kirsten Powers must be taking a lot of heat for being a Democrat media professional who doesn't want Sarah Palin to fall off a glacier. It actually is possible to disagree with somebody without trying to destroy them with slander and libel. Good faith and intellectual honesty... that's just weird.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:07 AM

Shenanigans?

All of a sudden my Sitemeter doesn't work, and it's telling me my codename doesn't exist. Sitemeter stinks anyway, but, because I'm a blogger, I like knowing who's talking about me.

Maybe it's just a Sitemeter glitch. Or does somebody not want me to see where my traffic is coming from? Paging Mulder & Scully... or anybody who knows how Sitemeter works and if it's even possible to do that.

They're doing some sort of server migration this weekend. (Which makes me think of French waitresses for some reason.) So that's probably it. Plus, I need a nap. Never mind...

emily-litella.jpg

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:10 AM

September 11, 2008

A sneak peek at Part 2 of the Gibson/Palin interrogation

kangaroo.jpg

Gibson: What do you think of the Constitution?

Palin: Could you... be more specific?

Gibson: [stares at her over his glasses]

Kos: OMG SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THE CONSTITUTION IS!!!!

P.S. Isn't it funny how the comments at my favorite blogs are suddenly full of names I've never seen before who not only claim to know exactly what the "Bush Doctrine" is, but want to convince me that Palin's request for clarification is proof of her unreadiness? And by "funny" I mean "pathetic and desperate." This astroturfing crap is really starting to affect my sense of humor.

P.P.S. "This type of stuff is what is killing the Left blogs right now." But you know who begs to differ? Shimmysham.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:32 PM

The interview

That thing was chopped up like a Cobb salad. They literally cut off the last word of her sentence at least twice. And I need to check eBay to see if they're selling the tack they put on Charlie Gibson's chair. But she didn't fall for his gotchas, and she didn't let him misquote her. All in all, she did pretty well for her first major media interview, particularly with a sour old man radiating hostility and a burning desire for schadenfreude into her face.

So: Now somebody's going to ask Obama those questions, in that tone, right? Or at least Biden?

You can watch Gibson's Nov. '07 take-no-prisoners interview with Obama here. Sample question: "What... flipped?" Exit question: "Why is it so awesome that you're multiracial?" [bats eyes coquettishly]

P.S. I almost forgot. At the beginning of the interview, did you catch that he tried to get her to look directly into the camera and say she was ready to be president? You could see him jabbing his thumb at the camera behind him as he said, "Can you look the country in the eye and say that?" It was like he wanted her to cut a WWE promo or something. I don't know what that was supposed to be about, but she didn't take the bait. She stayed focused on his face as she gave the answer he obviously fears most in the world: Absolutely. Which couldn't have been easy for her, because his face is very yucky.

P.P.S. The Bourne Imbecility.

P.P.P.S. Oh, and Gibson's big gotcha: Did you know it was called the "Bush Doctrine"? I'm familiar with the concept -- or at least what some claim the concept to be -- but I had not heard it called that until tonight. At least Charlie didn't tip his hand by calling it the "Chimperor Doctrine." I've got a sneak peek at Pt. 2 here.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:02 PM

Uh-oh, Sarah Palin has never brokered a peace deal between anybody but a bunch of Eskimos!

Oh gosh. Well, here's an interesting Google search to try:

"john edwards" "national security experience"

He was in the running to be a heartbeat away from the presidency back in '04, after all. And here's a good one from a December 30, 2006 story in the Washington Post, back before Edwards became a not-so-proud papa once again, and he was still running for president:

Edwards knows he will continue to get questions from reporters about his foreign policy expertise, as he did on Thursday when he launched his candidacy. Though he believes most Americans think someone who has been on a national ticket is qualified to be president, he knows that even minor mistakes on his part -- a slip of the tongue, the inability to answer an obscure question -- will be potentially damaging.

But he had a ready answer this week to the question of national security experience: Bush had the most experienced team in history, and still the United States ended up in a mess in Iraq. Experience, he said, is not a guarantee of good judgment.

Somehow I don't think we'll be hearing any of that again anytime soon.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:16 PM

A plea for understanding

We have seen, are seeing, and will continue to see all kinds of stupid, outrageous, hateful things being said about the Republican ticket and their families. We should catalog and critique these outbursts, yes. But don't take it personally: Everyone grieves in his own way.

BTW, has anybody in the evil right-wing blogosphere retaliated against the attacks on Palin's children by going after Obama's children, instead of criticizing the man's utterances and behavior? I'm asking because I don't know. I haven't seen anything like that, and I've been following this whole thing fairly closely. To be honest, I know he's got two or three daughters, but I couldn't name them if you paid me. Which is as it should be.

Well, if not, it's probably part of a Rovian plot to avoid the appearance of impropriety. Devious!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:28 AM

It's really starting to get good, isn't it?

  • Remember that Sherlock Holmes story about the dog that didn't bark? How about the Sharpton who didn't race-bait? Here we've got all these white folks criticizing the behavior of the most famous black person in the world (sorry, Urkel), and yet Rev. Al is not in front of a television camera, yammering. Did he even say anything about the "community organizer" business? His absence is glaring.
  • Not that I'm complaining! (Sounds like Al's busy anyway.)
  • The best analysis of Palin's humor I've seen yet comes from Barbara Kay in the National Post:

    Humour [silly Canada] is permitted entry to dark cavities closed to straight criticism, so Palin used steady-handed wit as her probe. As every comedian and experienced public speaker knows, failed on-stage humour is first cousin to death. Factor in the supreme importance of the occasion, an audience of 39 million voters, the greedy gaze of slavering media hyenas and the enormous additional risk of "dissing" an African-American saint: What we witnessed on that Minnesota stage, my friends, was an awesome demonstration of raw courage.
    No kidding. A few months ago, even Jon Stewart couldn't get laughs with Obama material. You could almost hear the audience thinking: "Is this okay? Will people think I'm a racist?" Now it is okay. It's okay to make fun of a guy who could be president, even though inevitably some idiots will call you a bigot. So thanks for breaking that glass ceiling, Sarah.
  • More and more it's becoming apparent that Palin's speech, although sent out to the world, had a target audience of one. The One! And boy, did she ever set up camp inside his head. No wonder his only response that night was, "Well, er, um... she didn't write it all by herself?" No wonder Olbermann swept aside his entire television career and criticized her for being sarcastic. No wonder we're still talking about her speech a week later. (Quote me something from Obama's acceptance speech, AKA The Best Thing in the History of Talking. Go ahead, it was only two weeks ago. No Googling.)
  • Phil Griffin, president of MSNBC: "This makes me so mad, because it's so untrue. Somebody is spreading rumors. It's wrong. It's getting into the echo chamber." And no, of course he isn't talking about his network's treatment of Sarah Palin. (And guess who the real victims in that story are? So much for "History is written by the victors.")
  • I've run exactly as many successful presidential campaigns as Joe Trippi. Can I have some money?
  • Roger Ebert got his start working with Russ Meyer. Now he has a big problem with an attractive woman who's smarter and more powerful than he is. I'm sure the two things are completely unrelated. Update: Whoops, now that column has disappeared quicker than Ebert's lunch. Well, you can still find the money quote here. And thanks to Saint Kansas for pointing out some sweet, sweet irony.
  • Move over, Sarah Silverman: He's f***ing Obama.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:40 AM

September 10, 2008

Barack Obama: Jerk?

Barack_Obama.jpg
My initial reaction to Bacongate was, "Well, it's just another gaffe. Obama couldn't possibly be dumb and mean enough to call Palin a pig." Yeah, she mocked him during her convention speech, but it was all about his record (or lack thereof) and soaring rhetoric. Which isn't nice, perhaps, but that stuff is fair game in a political campaign. Could he really be so thin-skinned and self-serious that he'd start hitting back with personal insults?

At first I thought it was a mistake for the McCain camp to demand an apology. As I told my close personal friend Glenn Reynolds, I thought they should have said something like:

"We're pleasantly surprised by Senator Obama's newfound sense of humor, and look forward to watching it develop over the coming weeks and months."

You know, rise above it, while still reminding everybody that Obama is a stiff, humorless, gaffe-prone scold.

But now I'm having second thoughts. I think he meant exactly what the crowd obviously thought he meant, because it fits a clear pattern of behavior.

Putting aside the astonishing smear campaign against Palin, which is definitely not grassroots, just look at some of Obama's past antics. In no particular order:

  • What was the Obama camp's initial reaction to Palin's announcement?
    "Today, John McCain put the former mayor of a town of 9,000 with zero foreign policy experience a heartbeat away from the presidency. Governor Palin shares John McCain's commitment to overturning Roe v. Wade, the agenda of Big Oil and continuing George Bush's failed economic policies -- that's not the change we need, it's just more of the same."
  • Yeowtch! And her palmprints on the podium were still warm. (Quite a contrast to McCain's ad, less than 24 hours earlier, congratulating Obama on his achievement.) But then, later that same day, Obama walked it back:
    "I think that... campaigns start getting these hair triggers and the statement that Joe and I put out reflects our sentiments," he said, according to the pool report, apparently criticizing his staff for going overboard, as he did occasionally in the primary.
    So he's not the hostile, panicky jackass. It was his staff's fault. Yes We Can... Pass the Buck!

  • Speaking of McCain's congratulatory ad, which as far as I know is unprecedented, how did Obama return the gesture? By finally going on The O'Reilly Factor, after months of begging by O'Reilly, on the night of McCain's speech. Your opponent goes out of his way to show some class on your big day, and you thank him by trying to steal his thunder?
  • After Bill Clinton, ahem, swallowed his pride and endorsed Obama at the DNC, what song did they play afterward? "Addicted to Love." Classy!
  • During a campaign event last April, Obama emphasized a point about Hillary by scratching his cheek. With his middle finger. Innocent, offhand gesture? I thought so at first. Now I'm not so sure.
  • The "dirt off your shoulder" thing. At first I thought it was funny, and I like that Jay-Z song, but in retrospect the gesture seems -- much like Jay-Z -- arrogant and deeply unpleasant. And based on what we've seen from Obama over the past week, it's obviously delusional. Not only can't he brush the dirt off his shoulders, but he's piling even more on them as he digs this deep, deep hole.
  • And to go beyond mere jerkiness: What's up with putting out an "Obama Action Wire" to try to shut down a Chicago radio station for talking about his ties with William Ayers? If Ayers is just a guy in Obama's neighborhood, why launch thousands of phone calls and e-mails at the station, all spouting the same talking points? You can download an MP3 of the show in question here. It's one thing for MoveOn or Kos or Media Matters (at the risk of redundancy) to do that kind of crap, but this came from the official campaign site. Does it bother anybody else that a presidential candidate is openly trying to stifle dissent? Doesn't Obama know that as president, he would be criticized every minute of every day? Does he plan to shout them all down?

But hey, I could be wrong. These could all be coincidences and/or innocent mistakes. Maybe it's everybody else's fault. Maybe he isn't really throwing rocks and hiding his hand.

P.S. And before you start? In the words of the immortal Harvey Keitel: "I didn't make a statement. I asked a question."

P.P.S. A couple of other examples people have pointed out: Obama ignored the fact that Palin is the governor of Alaska and called Wasilla "Wasilly" (which was what triggered her "community organizer" comeback, which in turn apparently triggered his ongoing meltdown), and he called that female reporter "sweetie." Again, those both can be passed off as innocent mistakes until you fit them into this pattern of behavior. I guess for his fans, it doesn't count as rude, immature behavior as long as he has a serious look on his face.

P.P.P.S. Mocking McCain's war injuries and alienating everybody older than Obama would certainly qualify. Either it's on purpose, which goes way, way beyond jerkiness, or they didn't do a simple Google search to learn why McCain has trouble using a computer keyboard, which means they're panicky idiots.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:35 PM

Yes, "putting lipstick on a pig" is a fairly common saying

So is pointing your middle finger downward, saying "Want me to turn it up?", and flipping it skyward. So if Obama accidentally does that one during a campaign speech, let's try to give him the benefit of the doubt, hm?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:15 PM

We need to continue Andrew Sullivan's fine work

It looks like the Daily Dishevelment is taking a break from spreading every single insane rumor about Sarah Palin that Sullivan gets from the Obama campaign his readers. We need to fill the gap, don't you think? No pun unintended.

Here, I'll try:

AndrewSullivan.jpg Oh. My. GOD. There can be no other possible conclusion: Sarah Palin has a secret '80s lovechild with that dude from Journey.

Do we really want a Vice President who won’t even admit she's got a mega-mulleted bastard son walking around out there? Did Steve Perry threaten to expose this coverup? Is that the real reason they replaced him with a tiny Filipino gentleman? It's called a chain of evidence, people.

Let's see the birth certificate, Sarah. Unless that's somehow a problem?

Update: A reader has linked Palin to yet another '80s musician. How many illegitimate children does she have, anyway? Why isn't anybody talking about this? Why is the media in the pocket of the Republican Party?

Please leave your own Sullivanesque BREAKING PALIN NEWS in the comments. Or don't.

(Thanks for the idea, AP.)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:05 AM | Comments (7)

Bacongate

Just in case nobody's named it yet.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:20 AM

September 09, 2008

Guess you had to be there

CBS:

Barack Obama took it up a notch – or two - at a town hall meeting tonight where he used comedy to mock and ridicule the McCain-Palin ticket.

"I mean think about it, you guys remember this, it was just like a month ago they were all saying 'experience, experience, experience'," Obama said as the crowd snickered, "Then they chose Palin and started talking about 'change, change, change' - What happened?"...

"I mean, mother, governor, moose shooter?! I mean I think that's cool, that's cool stuff," Obama said about Palin's biography.

When discussing McCain's energy plan, Obama poked fun at his line on drilling. "What were the Republicans hollerin', 'drill baby drill'? What kind of slogan is that?! They were getting all excited about drilling!"

The most impressive thing is that he writes his own material. Have you guys seen his half-hour special on HBO? I could not stay in my chair during the bit about the vitamin content of various vegetables.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:57 PM

...to know which way the wind blows

Why are you reading this, racist?

(With no apologies to William Ayers)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:09 PM

When Barry Met Olby

Whether you're on the left, the right, or somewhere in between, you owe it to yourself to watch Keith Olbermann's interview with Barack Obama. Assiduously hard-hitting.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:05 PM

Costs, facts cut

FishbowlNY:

In yet another cost-cutting measure, The New York Times Co. will stop its wholesale delivery service, relying instead up on non-union workers. The move will allow the company, which opened the unit in 1992, to slash 550 jobs.

I feel bad for these guys, because unlike laid-off newsroom staff, they can't just make the lateral move to the Obama campaign.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:23 AM

Where did Abraham Lincoln go to college?

I ask because another slam against Sarah Palin, among the seemingly infinite number being grasped at by a desperate Obamanation, is that she went to five or six colleges in six years (none of which Obama would have been caught dead in) before graduating. Which is a reason not to vote for her, apparently. She must be a big dummy!

Well then, how did Lincoln get elected? He went to zero colleges in 56 years. Most people will agree that he did a pretty good job anyway.

Isn't it kind of elitist to imply that somebody's not worthwhile unless she went to the right schools? Are there no idiots in the Ivy League? Do you really want to alienate all the voters who had to settle for less?

And if you think it's ludicrous to compare Palin to Lincoln: Which campaign is it that keeps bringing up the community-organizing experience of the son of God? At least I'm not comparing apples and oracles.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:37 AM

September 08, 2008

If you're new here, which is likely:

To answer your question, the title of my blog is based on this. And no, I have not seen that TV-movie. I honestly have no idea why I used that, except it's one of the worst titles for anything ever. Now I guess I'm stuck with it.

My old blog's title was based on this, so maybe I was continuing the theme? I've never seen that movie either.

Fascinating, huh?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:15 PM

Yeah, Joe, she's being sequestered

runandhidesarah.jpg

Here she is in Colorado Springs last Saturday, ducking the press again. You can't hide forever, Sarah!

(Pic courtesy of Ace)

P.S. McCain/Palin is running on a reform platform, right? Do you suppose they ever could have dreamed they'd also end up implementing reform of the media?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:33 PM

Just Asking Questions

axelrod.jpgI've been trying to find out more about Obama's chief campaign adviser David Axelrod. No particular reason; I've just seen him on some of these talking-heads shows and he seems like an awesome guy. And after about 20 seconds with Google, I found this interesting tidbit from the March '08 issue of Business Week. It's about how Axelrod juggles his work for AKP&D Message & Media, his Chicago-based political consultancy business, with his work for another PR company he runs:

From the same River North address, Axelrod operates a second business, ASK Public Strategies, that discreetly plots strategy and advertising campaigns for corporate clients to tilt public opinion their way. He and his partners consider virtually everything about ASK to be top secret, from its client roster and revenue to even the number of its employees. But customers and public records confirm that it has quarterbacked campaigns for the Chicago Children's Museum, ComEd, Cablevision, and AT&T.

ASK's predilection for operating in the shadows shows up in its work. On behalf of ComEd and Comcast, the firm helped set up front organizations that were listed as sponsors of public-issue ads. Industry insiders call such practices "Astroturfing," a reference to manufacturing grassroots support. Alderman Brendan Reilly of the 42nd Ward, who has been battling the Children's Museum's relocation plans, describes ASK as "the gold standard in Astroturf organizing. This is an emerging industry, and ASK has made a name for itself in shaping public opinion and manufacturing public support."

Weird, huh?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:44 PM

The Atlantic is launching an advice column, and I sure could use their help

Here's the letter I just submitted via their online form:

I run a once-respected magazine, but a while back I made the mistake of hiring a crazy person who's now turning our reputation into Alaskan Husky droppings. Should I fire him by e-mail or just stop paying him?

Fingers crossed!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:51 PM

Which, for me, is dressing up

I've got a thing posted at Pajamas Media today. It's an expansion of stuff I've talked about here, AKA recycled material with some new jokes and insults tossed in, and edited by somebody besides myself. Enjoy.

P.S. Interestingly, when a commenter at PJM asked me to back up my point that several mainstream media outlets have bought into the "fake pregnancy" slur wholesale, I found that many of the stories that come up on a Google News search for sarah palin trig bristol faked pregnancy have since been wiped clean of any reference to the rumor. Why would they do a thing like that? Shouldn't they own up to their egregious mistake, instead of trying to hide it and expecting us not to say anything? I'm just asking questions...

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:48 AM

OMG PALIN JUST LOST THE RACE!!!

Via Sam Stein at the Green Acres Gazette:

Gov. Sarah Palin made her first potentially major gaffe during her time on the national scene while discussing the developments of the perilous housing market this past weekend.

Speaking before voters in Colorado Springs, the Republican vice presidential nominee claimed that lending giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac had "gotten too big and too expensive to the taxpayers." The companies, as McClatchy reported, "aren't taxpayer funded but operate as private companies. The takeover may result in a taxpayer bailout during reorganization."

Economists and analysts pounced on the misstatement, saying it demonstrated a lack of understanding about one of the key economic issues likely to face the next administration.

In other news, Senator Barack Obama today remarked to a Michigan crowd, "I'm going to burn you all alive with a flamethrower." Obama later explained that he meant to say, "I'm going to give you all free candy for life," and promised that unnamed campaign aides would be chastised. Back to you, Wolf.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:54 AM

Here's how Palin should handle those who are trying to destroy her, sometimes known as "the press"

Patterico links to a Youtube clip of Sarah Palin being interviewed on C-SPAN last February 28, and Simon at Stubborn Facts has more. She comports herself well in that first clip, I think. And for you people who keep asking how can she handle the job with all those kids -- I believe you're known as "concern trolls," right? -- please note that she was seven months pregnant at the time of that interview.

But Patterico has this caveat:

Of course, these interviews aren't conducted by jackals trying to trip her up with pop quizzes about the identity of the leader of Podunkstan. It will indeed be interesting to see how she handles those sorts of questions, but I won't be cringing for her — I'll be looking forward to watching her take off the heads of the idiots who ask her the questions.

Yeah, if she's as clever and strategic as she's shown herself to be over the last 10 days, her answer to hostile interviewers who want to play Pop Quiz -- which is pretty much all of them -- should be along these lines:

"You do realize that presidents and vice presidents have support staffs, don't you? When a vice president needs an answer to something like that, she gets it almost before she finishes the question. I can send you a box set of The West Wing if you need a refresher. What a great show. It also portrayed the importance of speechwriters in presidential politics, which apparently our distinguished opponents thought everyone had forgotten the other night. Maybe because real-life speechwriters don't tend to look like Rob Lowe? Or maybe only Democrats are allowed to have them.

"But back to your question. You seem to be implying that if I don't know something you didn't learn about until you were preparing for this interview, somehow that means I'm not qualified for office. I realize you're just doing your job, but don't you think the American people want a leader, not a Jeopardy winner?

"And by the way: Did you ever ask John Edwards that question?"

Smiling all the while.

P.S. And 10 minutes after it airs, the newly minted, completely grassroots JeopardyWinners4Justice.com will demand an apology...

P.P.S. Shadooby.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:49 AM

September 07, 2008

Only Being Analytical, My Allies

Just thinking out loud here:

  • Dozens of unsubstantiated rumors about Sarah Palin and her family have been blasted out onto the Internet over the last 10 days, seemingly starting within hours of her introduction.
  • These slurs start on left-wing blogs (and left-wing blogs that insist they're right-wing), and soon fill up blog comments everywhere.
  • The smears are then read by "journalists," who spread them to their audience.
  • They're almost instantly debunked.
  • This keeps happening over and over, even though it's not working.
  • It seems unlikely that so many independent bloggers and blog commenters would suddenly and simultaneously become self-described experts on somebody who most people hadn't heard of two weeks ago.
  • It's more probable that these lies and half-truths are coming from a single source and are being made to look like the work of a grassroots movement. A netroots movement, if you will.

With all that in mind:

Who would have the means, motive, and opportunity to launch such a wide-ranging smear campaign so quickly?

More importantly: Who would have enough at stake to be so obviously panicky about it?

I can't think of anybody either.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:46 PM

Media Entitlement for Dummies

media_entitlement_for_dummies.jpg

If I worked for the McCain campaign, here would be my response to this, in full: "If the press wants to know Gov. Palin's position on any particular issue, that would have been a better opening question than, 'Is your youngest child really your daughter's baby?'"

P.S. This blog has become all Palin all the time anyway, but if for some reason you need all my babbling about it on one page, check it out.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:46 AM

September 06, 2008

Yeah, it's cherrypicking, but at this point I don't care

How about some compare-and-contrast?

Here's a lady who's had to put up with a barrage of savagely insane rumors about the content of her character, not to mention the contents of her uterus, for her entire week in the public eye so far:

thenewchick.jpg

And here's a guy who's facing the biggest crisis of his career because that lady needled him for saying he alone could heal the planet:

blacknixon.jpg

It's only a matter of hours before McCain drops her from the ticket, don't you think?

P.S. I want to apologize for calling him "Black Nixon" earlier. Upon further reflection, it's an unfair analogy: Nixon didn't have the Internet.

P.P.S. Sarah Palin proposes a solution to Andrew Sullivan's self-inflicted problem. Although it would be like daylight to Dracula...

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:07 PM

She noticed me!

In the comments at Pandagon's post about how it's inherently racist to mock community organizers, after a mildly sarcastic joke I made in the comments was interpreted as defending the people I'd been lumped in with:

For his encore, he’s going to defend the KKK by trying to argue that it’s the only acceptable form of community organizing.

Amanda Marcotte on 09/06 at 11:58 AM

Which is an excellent point, but I just had one quibble:

I don’t really like their racism and hatred, but the outfits are pretty cool!

Jim Treacher on 09/06 at 04:37 PM

Amanda's good, though. She should be the official blogger for Obama.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:57 PM

A cheerful, bespectacled hockey mom has turned the entire mainstream media into one big suicide bomb, and all she had to do was show up

Here's today's talking point at a blog comment thread near you:

“Sarah Palin's scared of the press! What's she hiding? Why isn't she letting them do her a favor by interviewing her?”

Not that anybody with a bit of common sense can't figure it out, but I'll explain it to everybody else: Because the press hasn't earned it yet. She was in the national spotlight for all of three days before once-legitimate newspapers started running with demented Internet rumors that she'd faked her pregnancy. Why would she now assume they're acting in good faith? The only people who are screaming to see her interviewed are the ones who are desperate for ammunition to use against her. Why give it to them?

"The people have a right to know!" Yeah, the people have a right to know things that are true. These dimwits lost the right to use that argument when they ran with all these crazy slurs like it was the day before the election. It's as if she said "Hi, how are you?" and they returned the greeting by trying to stab her in the heart. And now that they've missed, they're trying to guilt her into buying them lunch. The effrontery is mindboggling. She's under no obligation to help these creeps sell ads. She's getting huge crowds and high poll numbers already, and so far she doesn't need them to do it. The more they try to make her look like the bad guy for avoiding them, the more they will be despised.

These news weasels have nobody to blame but themselves. There's already a list as long as your arm of unfounded accusations (and true, but irrelevant, factoids) that the orchestrators of this blatant smear campaign have thrown at her, and the news is doing its level best to thoroughly investigate each and every one. If they dug into Obama's connections to black separatists and domestic terrorists and other hope-and-change advocates as thoroughly as they're digging into Palin's PTA records and pizza delivery receipts, we might have a whole different election. But that would only happen in some sort of mirror universe, one in which Obama had joined a different party.

These pathetic cretins have come up empty again and again, but they still can't stop. The more they realize that this woman really might be as squeaky-clean as advertised, the harder they try to find something. Anything. And the dumber they look, the angrier and sloppier they get. Every “Gotcha!” turns into a “D'oh!”

Good. Keep it up until Nov. 4, you noble gatekeepers.

Not that anybody'll see it. I can't wait for the graphs of cable news ratings and newspaper circulation numbers this month. They'll resemble Obama's frown lines on Wednesday night.

To put it much more succinctly: This mother of five has put the entire journalism industry on timeout. No wonder they're crying.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:18 PM

Uh-oh, I forgot

I'm a racist! See, I thought I was judging Obama not by the color of his skin but by the content of his character. But apparently that doesn't work either.

Well, if any and all criticism of the guy is inherently bigoted, that should help him out greatly as president. He'll be able to get a lot done if everybody's too scared of being called racist to disagree with him. Dissent is the highest form of patriotism... unless you're a different color than the dissentee.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:58 PM

September 05, 2008

Open thread

Why not. Possible topic: Will Barack Obama be the first person to guilt his way into the White House? Or will McCain/Palin force him to stop crying to teacher and start playing by their rules? I almost hope not, because it's fun to watch this socialist continually rely on his one and only fallback: "That's not fair!"

(I reserve the right to close comments at any time, delete your comment, alter it to your detriment and my amusement, or whatever the hell else I want to do on my own blog.)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:46 PM | Comments (27)

Obama vs. Snowmama

It occurs to me: If Obama's experience in this presidential campaign is itself to be considered one of his qualifications for the Oval Office, what are we to make of his performance over the last few days? Is this an indication of how he deals with adversity? Because -- and this may be unfair -- it seems to me that over the next 4 years, the President of the United States will face much tougher challenges than watching a cute lady with glasses make fun of him on TV.

It seems like instead of picking a strategy and seeing if it works, the Obama camp is trying everything they can possibly think of, all at once. Which is one way of doing it, I suppose. And that's putting aside the apparent epidemic of insanity in newsrooms all over the world.

Did you guys see Hancock? Remember when Will Smith just stood there while the train hit him, and it derailed all over the place? Sarah Palin's kind of like that, except happier.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:38 PM

Just to be clear, I am directly accusing Markos Moulitsas of astroturfing for the Obama campaign

As discussed here. If you don't know what astroturfing is, it's defined here.

I figure the process goes something like this:

Or at least that's how I'd do it if I were an underhanded sociopath who looks like something that wriggled out of Peter Lorre's ass. (No offense, Mr. Moulitsas.)

In this post-Palin world, that's the way this stuff is done. The accusation is made, and then it's confirmed or refuted. The onus is on Kos to prove me wrong. This is called, in his words, "citizen journalism."

Now I'm just going to sit back and see how it shakes out.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:02 AM

MSM:

Making
Sarah
Mightier

I've been struggling to think of a metaphor to adequately describe the press's treatment of Vice President Palin over the past week. My first thought was, "It's kind of like raping your blind date at her doorstep, and then demanding to borrow some money and her car." But anybody who tried that with Palin would end up hanging from the rafters of a smokehouse.

I dunno. My gut feeling is that she should cheerfully decline all interviews until such time as she damn well feels like it. Let these hacks claw at their whorish faces in frustration as her poll numbers skyrocket. How in the world do these arrogant slugs think she owes them a single solitary thing? They've abdicated their role as advocates for their audience, and they're clearly serving as surrogates for a vendetta against this lady and the people she loves. Stugots.

Osama and those other losers make demands of us all the time. Do we jump through their hoops? Palin should treat the media like the terrorists they are: No negotiation. And no warning when she strikes.

P.S. Sounds like they agree. McCain campaign statement:

Gov. Sarah Palin spoke directly to 40 million people on Wednesday night. Only in the warped worldview of the beltway media establishment would that constitute a ‘cone of silence’. We will conduct our campaign our way and on our timeline.

I'd have added: "Alaska has many beautiful lakes, into which any media professional demanding access to Gov. Palin can jump."

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:16 AM

Gerald Baker at Times Online writes:

The best line I heard about Sarah Palin during the frenzied orgy of chauvinist condescension and gutter-crawling journalistic intrusion that greeted her nomination for vice-president a week ago came from a correspondent who knows a thing or two about Alaska.

“What's the difference between Sarah Palin and Barack Obama?”

“One is a well turned-out, good-looking, and let's be honest, pretty sexy piece of eye-candy.

“The other kills her own food.”

Close enough.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:06 AM

Us Weekly is losing subscribers like Jann Wenner loses T-cells*

sp
Somewhere between 5,000 and 10,000 readers have canceled this week because of the magazine's rushed, defamatory cover story on Sarah Palin and her family. The magazine is denying both of those numbers, so it's probably even higher.

And guess why all those people are voting with their wallets? According to "one unnamed editor":

Readers are loyal, but the base of a political party is more loyal.

This is not a partisan issue, but at least they're admitting that some Republicans can read. "Party loyalty," give me a break. The only people who don't have a problem with this garbage are journalists and hopeless Obama drones. But I repeat myself.

And don't start mewling about Chelsea Clinton jokes, my friends. Yeah, that crap was stupid and wrong, but I don't remember anybody plastering rumors about her uterus on the front page. Although back then we didn't have the Daily Kos, and her parents weren't Republicans.

Not that these miserable bottom-feeders should stop desperately crying arctic wolf about Palin. If this week has shown us one thing, it's that this lady absorbs abuse and converts it into laser beams of awesomeness.

On September 3, 2008 at 10:31 p.m. EST, when Alaskan Governor Sarah Louise Heath Palin stared straight into the camera, smiled, and accepted the Republican Party's nomination for Vice President of the United States of America, the look in her eyes said it all: "Hello, every newsroom on Earth. I'm not who you think I am, I'm not afraid of you, and I am not going away. Watch and learn."

Make them pay for this, Madam Vice President. Make them understand that you don't need their permission to win.

And do it with a smile.

*Why in the world would that offend you? I read it on the Internet. Are we not allowed to ask questions? (Never mind that it's not a question, but rather the lowest, most pathetic libel.) If it's not true, why doesn't Wenner prove it? Just show us the results of your latest AIDS test, Jann, and we can all breathe a sigh of relief. Unless you've got a problem with the First Amendment?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:25 AM

September 04, 2008

When that song came out, McCain was only 90

The Wilson sisters sent a cease and desist to McCain/Palin because they used "Barracuda" by Heart at the end of the RNC. It makes sense: For a rock musician, affiliation with a Republican campaign could be a career-ender. Whoops, too late!

Well, they'll have no problem paying for the lawyer, what with all the money they made tonight on iTunes.

P.S. I like Kaus, but some things he says are less smart than others. Here's one from last night:

Palin Speech: Very effective, as expected. Big loser: Hillary. Maybe Hillary's handicaps (e.g., inability to zing opponents without seeming haughty or testy) aren't barriers facing all women after all. [Point stolen from someone in the crowd.] ... Trig is already becoming a bit of a prop, however. ... 11:39 P.M.

Prop? What were they supposed to do, leave him in the car?

P.P.S. And if she'd handed the kid off backstage to a Secret Service guy with a towel over his shoulder, inevitably somebody would say she was ashamed of Trig and trying to hide him.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:02 PM

You can call a woman a bad mother for not forcing her daughter to have an abortion, and claim that the same woman didn't actually give birth to her own son...

...but don't you dare ask what a community organizer actually does.

A commenter at QandO was nice enough to explain the difference between Obama Black Nixon and Palin:

Jesus was a community organizer. Pilate was a governor.

To which I replied:

And last night was the crucifixion.

Hey, you know who else was a community organizer? Don Corleone.

P.S. Here's a funny thing: If you Google "Jesus was a community organizer" "Pilate was a governor", suddenly that moronic non sequitur is all over the place. Hundreds of results, and I'll give you a cookie made of dreams if you can find one dated before Sept. 4. Purely spontaneous, right?

Way to get rid of the "He thinks he's the Messiah" meme, geniuses. Astroturfing sucks, but if it helps turn even more people away from a witless crybaby like Obama, who wants to be president because otherwise it's not fair, that works for me. We are the spam we've been waiting for.

And you'll never guess where this wonderful, poetic grassroots slogan "originated". It's attributed only to "a reader." Kos is such an idiot that he couldn't even come up with a fake name to put it under. How about "Sparack Spobama"? "Spavid Spaxelrod"? (I wonder if this Kos page will be deleted, just like the one that launched the utterly deranged conspiracy theory about Palin's youngest son? Get the disinfo out there, and then remove the source. Orwell was an amateur.)

P.P.S. If you're a community organizer and you want to help organize a community of other community organizers to stop the mockery of, um, whatever the hell it is you do:

http://organizersfightback.wordpress.com/

They're demanding an apology from Sarah Palin. Perhaps they haven't been paying attention. I think that'll happen the day after Joe Biden gets through a full paragraph without reminding people of a much less likable Ted Baxter.

P.P.P.S. How about McCain's speech, huh? It's not his strong suit, and there was no way he was going to outshine the VP, but he did fine. And he had help. Five years of torture didn't stop him, but some fatty in a pink t-shirt was supposed to? I predict Obama will put out a statement tomorrow insisting that he had no specific knowledge of Code Pink's plans. (By the way, if you're wondering how those CP idiots got into the convention: They wear the tinfoil inside the hat.)

P.P.P.P.S. I love the stupid pundits who say Sarah used too much sarcasm last night. Yeah, why make a political speech interesting? You might hurt your opponent's feelings. Not to mention, all that open mockery was obviously designed to rattle Obama, a notoriously thin-skinned grievance monger. Which it obviously has, with flying colors.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:58 PM

September 03, 2008

The Speech

Think she was vetted well enough?

Word is that halfway through, Keith Olbermann's head exploded. Oddly enough, it had very little effect on his delivery.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:07 PM

Palin Dodges Tough Questions About Existence of "Alaska"

By Howard Kurtz
Washington Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, September 3, 2008; A1

sarahpalinifthatisherrealname.jpgMedia Bubble, Sept. 2 -- Embattled former beauty queen Sarah Palin* continued to wilt yesterday under the pressure of numerous fair, evenhanded media questions regarding the alleged state of "Alaska." Palin has claimed to be "governor" of the legendary northern land mass, which, while heretofore undiscovered by explorers, was once rumored to contain vast expanses rich with oil, gold, and "eski-mos."

Palin first made the "Alaska" claim during an Aug. 29 public appearance alongside elderly, mean-looking cancer victim John McCain. McCain, a white man with even whiter hair, has long publicly blocked efforts by Barack Obama, a youthful black man with a certain indefinable aura about him, to move into Obama's new house. Palin, also white-skinned, has been linked to the McCain offensive.

After four days of telling silence from the McCain camp, Palin finally deigned to reappear in public yesterday. In a followup press conference, Palin, who is a girl, lashed out at the media.

"Listen to me: Alaska. Is. A. State. Seriously. The 49th state, in fact. Way up north there. What, did somebody go around your newsrooms and hide all the maps underneath the ethics manuals? Or are you idiots just completely insane?"

Shaking her head in a transparent attempt to feign exasperation, Palin -- who is perhaps not as pretty as she thinks she is -- then left the podium without answering followup questions regarding her plagiarism of CBS's Northern Exposure.

Internet reaction to the unfit mother's unhinged rant was swift. Andrew Sullivan, right-wing blogger for The Atlantic, saw Palin's comments as a major misstep. "She's working the refs. This is what they do. Sure, blame the media. Is it their fault she's too chicken to back up these suspicious claims?

"Look, I'm willing to entertain the idea that there really is a place called 'Alaska.' We've all heard the old wives' tales, and I've dreamed about such a rugged, outdoorsy paradise since I was about 13 or 14. But why is she so afraid to give us some proof? I mean, I've never been there, have you?"

Yukon Cornelius could not be reached for comment.

Update: After consultation with the Association of American Geographers and several DC-area kindergarten students, the Washington Post can now report that many current world maps contain a small area in the northwest corner of North America labeled "Alaska." Palin's relationship with the mapmaking industry is currently under investigation.

*Real name unconfirmed at press time

Previous election: Dan Rather: "Prove I'm Not Queen of the Space Unicorns"

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:09 AM

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake"

That's one of my favorite quotations, from Napoleon Bonaparte. And it just occurred to me that if all these Democrats think Sarah Palin is such a disaster, the second coming of Thomas Eagleton... why are they so strenuously interrupting?

Hell, I'm thrilled Joe Biden is on the ticket. Flap that cakehole, Joe!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:29 AM

September 01, 2008

The biggest difference, as I see it, between Sarah Palin and Barack Obama

One of them is little more than an elegant, attractive, dare I say sexy piece of eye candy.

The other one kills her own food.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:32 AM