October 31, 2008

Good news: At this rate, eventually you'll be considered rich!


Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:44 PM

No, sir, you certainly are not

"I'm not Sarah Palin," Olbermann said.

But I'll bet he's got the outfit at home!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:33 PM

Bill Clinton: Obama "Probably Won't Destroy America"

bill_n_barry.jpgKissimmee, FL -- During a joint appearance Wednesday with Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama, former President Bill Clinton came out with his strongest endorsement yet.

"This guy," Clinton began, before a significant pause. "What can you say about this guy? What. Can. Ya say."

With Sen. Obama smiling on at his side, Clinton continued: "As you all know, we had a tough fight earlier this year. Hillary and I, that is. Against the wonderful Barack Obama, I mean. And he won. I know, I get it. We allllll get it.

"And now... here I am. How about that."

After a smattering of applause, Clinton added, "Hey, one thing you won't have to worry about over the next four years? Having a president who's smarter than you. If you've ever felt intimidated by your commander-in-chief's superior command of the facts... well, that's not exactly gonna be a problem, is it? If you don't want the guy in the Oval Office reminding you of his experience and qualifications all the time: done deal.

"So, congratulations on that one."

Speaking over the cracking of the wooden podium under his grip, Clinton closed out his comments: "Look, if you're worried about dying of poverty or at the hands of a foreign enemy who senses our country's newfound weakness, I'd put it at... what? 60/40 against? I could go as high as 62. This genius over here probably won't destroy America."

As he knocked over the podium and left the stage without making eye contact with Sen. Obama, Clinton could be heard humming the 1985 Robert Palmer hit "Addicted to Love."

Previously:
Biden Clarifies Earlier Remarks on His Dread of an Obama Administration

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:07 PM

Don't want your taxes to go up? Barack Obama thinks you're selfish

Seriously. If you think you have a better idea what to do with your own money than the government does, you should be ashamed of yourself. Obama is saying that. In public. After the events of the last three weeks.

And yet McCain is supposed to be in trouble?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:35 PM

I like Hillary's supporters. That's right, I said it!

If you read only one blog post between now and Election Day, please make it this one at HillBuzz. These guys (or gals, or whoever they are) have seen Obama's mind games in the primaries, and they know the tricks he and his drones are trying to play on us:

(1) Calls for McCain to just give up and quit, because the race is over.

(2) Wild claims of Obama winning states that shock and surprise you.

(3) Repeated insistence that blacks and young people will decide this election, and they are all going to vote in record numbers for Obama.

They explain why you shouldn't believe these things, or believe in their importance, just because Obama desperately wants you to believe them. If he can't get you to vote for him, he's trying to get you to stay home Nov. 4. If you let him tell you what to do, then you'd better get used to it.

As HillBuzz says:

If you, collectively, can keep Republicans and other McCain voters from falling for these, we believe there’s nothing Obama can do to win this election. The ONLY way McCain loses is if you Eeyores allow the media to keep you from the polls.

Pass it on.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:57 AM

October 30, 2008

You want to know why I'm not worried?

This is why I'm not worried. They may as well have typed "We're not scared, maybe you're the ones who are scared" 110 times and hit Send.

They're freaking out.

Steady.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:54 PM

I seriously want this guy to run for president

Tito, I mean, not the bespectacled revenant he just schooled:

Hannity needs to not talk so much when Tito could be using that time to further humiliate Colmes. I'd make a joke about why the walls of Colmes' throat are so raw, considering his unfailing service on behalf of Obama, but I'm trying to keep this blog as PG-13 as possible.

(thx, fellow trollfighters)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:30 PM

Why is it that the Hillary supporters have more fire in the belly than most of you [CENSORED BAD WORD FOR PENISES]?

Read this. Print it out and take it with you wherever you go. Learn it. Live it. Love it.

Do not take anything anybody says about this election at face value. (Except me. Me, you can trust. No, really.) Do not be an Eeyore.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:38 PM

If I grow up, I want to be Iowahawk

Er, I mean T. Coddington Van Voorhees VII! If you're sick of all these pundits who keep marching toward socialism, read that there deal right there.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:24 PM

I'm a "prominent politics blogger," apparently

Read this and notice how I'm the second-dumbest guy on there. I'll let you decide who's #1.

"Of course, Jim Treacher and Mark Steyn are basically on-line versions of Sean Hannity..." Thank me!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:45 PM

...that you'll ever do

lonely_plugs.jpg

There he is, America. The man who could be a heartbeat away from the presidency. The man who'll take over if, say, Obama dies of lung cancer or some other ailment we don't know about because he won't release his medical records. (Assuming Biden doesn't have another aneurysm first.)* The man who said "jobs" is a three-letter word, and FDR went on TV to talk about the stock market crash of '29, and people in wheelchairs should stand up to be recognized, and America will be attacked if Obama is elected, and any number of other embarrassments. The man who once proposed sending Iran a no-strings-attached check for $200 million as America's way of saying, "Sorry for provoking 9/11!" The man who had to drop out of the presidential race 20 years ago for plagiarism, and has more hair and fewer wrinkles now than he did then. The man who has screwed up so many times over the last few months, even Karen "Don't mention the crimes of Obama's pal Franklin Raines or you're a racist" Tumulty is sick of it.

This is the man who's being hidden by his own campaign after decades of national prominence because he's a [FILTHMOUTH] idiot.

But have you seen that Palin chick? Wotta dope, huh?

One comfort, if these creeps do get elected: It'll be fun to listen to Mark Levin tear "Plugs" Biden a new one every single day until Obama stops talk radio.

*Hey, if you don't like me saying so, you shouldn't have brought up McCain's health problems. Aww, are you gonna cry? Is baby gonna cry?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:54 PM

Another sign of Obama's inevitability

Fabulously wealthy celebrities are threatening to leave the country if he loses. Why would they say that if they thought such a thing was even possible?

Correction to the above-linked article, since the LAT can't afford editors anymore: Stephen Baldwin threatened to leave the country if Obama wins. And I'm pretty sure he was mocking all those other dopes.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:30 PM

How about Joe the Plaintiff?

Checks on Joe the Plumber more extensive than first acknowledged

Ask a question, and the government will retaliate. With the eager cooperation of the press. This is the future these guys want.

Question for Obama voters: How do you rationalize away all the evidence that your hero has done more to suppress free speech in the last 2 months than Bush has done in the last 8 years?

Followup: Is the cognitive dissonance making you crazier than you already were, or is your preexisting craziness helping you escape the reality of your own debasement?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:31 AM

At this point, I wouldn't be surprised

Beldar addresses Obama's tiny little credit-card fraud issue:

"The Obama-Biden campaign might just as well have set up dumpsters all over the world into which illegal donors could dump shopping bags full of cash donations made in unmarked small bills."

Noticing the brazen, arrogant malfeasance on the part of this presidential campaign is racist.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:25 AM

Introducing: Li'l Obama!

LOteaser.jpg

The great Batton Lash does it again (with a little help from yours truly). After the jump:

If you enjoyed this cartoon, you're a r-- Well, you know.

Previous Batton fun here, here, and here. And check out his fine comicky goodness at exhibitapress.com!

P.S. Feel free to post this on your own blog, but please don't hotlink it.

P.P.S. I totally forgot: Happy Birthday, Batton!

P.P.P.S. "I'm not quite sure if this is just crass or racist or both." Well, it's about Obama's own public statements. So of course it's crass! And it's drawn to resemble him. So of course it's racist!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:10 AM

October 29, 2008

Did Obama just lose Florida?

Can you say anything you want, as long as it's phrased as a question? If so, do you have the media to thank for that technique?

Doug Ross has received a tip from somebody (inside the L.A. Times?) who he says has given him good information before. The tipster says:

Saw a clip from the tape. Reason we can't release it is because statements Obama said to rile audience up during toast. He congratulates Khalidi for his work saying "Israel has no God-given right to occupy Palestine" plus there's been "genocide against the Palestinian people by Israelis."

It would be really controversial if it got out. That's why they will not even let a transcript get out.

So now let's all watch the LAT deny this, without providing the very evidence that would disprove it. If you ran a newspaper that was accused of hiding something like this, and you had the evidence to shove in your accusers' faces, I'll bet you could come up with a better excuse for withholding it. Let alone four lame excuses in a row. Why not just publish a photograph of the tape being eaten by a dog?

Forget the Great Schlep. This could be the Great Plotz.

P.S. Over at Dirty Harry's Place, the reward for the tape has gone up to $200,000. And apparently it's real money.

P.P.S. A former LAT reporter writes to the LAT:

"The moment a journalist says he is using a secret report to validate his work, and then refuses to reveal the full contents of the report, he is guilty of the kind of conduct that deservedly brought Sen. Joseph McCarthy to disgrace."
Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:46 PM

People sure do want the L.A. Times to start doing its job

It's turning into quite a payday for the brave soul, John or Jane the Whistleblower, who produces a copy of this tape everybody's talking about. Go to Dirty Harry's Place and scroll down.

And think back to, oh, right around this time 8 years ago. What was the big story?

Bush Acknowledges 1976 DUI Charge
November 2, 2000

We get it, media geniuses: If the guy's a Republican, then it's entirely relevant to bring up a misdemeanor from a quarter-century before. Big, big news. Gotta get it out there. But if the guy's a Democrat, then a five-year-old tape of him partying with a PLO flunky -- not to mention William Ayers and Bernardine Dohrn, the Steve & Eydie of insane America-haters -- is ancient history. Just another distraction.

But then, you guys have minimized or outright ignored many, many other stories that could reflect badly on Obama. Why should you treat his eager participation in a Jew-bashing bash any differently?

Go ahead, LAT. Keep it to yourself and let us imagine the worst.

P.S. And to all you other [9-letter word that rhymes with "sickbeds"]: If you can twist a diplomatically worded 90-second greeting on video into a ludicrous claim that Palin is a secessionist, we can bring up Obama's active, in-person participation in this event. And that goes double for the repellent cave creature who's always interrupting Hannity.

P.P.S. And: "Two-thirds of the record-breaking haul Obama raised for the final stretch of the campaign comes from a racket set up to facilitate fake names, phony addresses and untraceable cards." Move along. Nothing to see here. Buy your tickets for the coronation or your name will be put on the watchlist. And now, here's the half-hour prime time infomercial, paid for by None of Your Business.

P.P.P.S. Do you suppose this Obama/Khalidi tape would be news to the victims of The Great Schlep?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:58 AM

October 28, 2008

Will Vote 4 Food

Judge rules Ohio homeless voters may list park benches as addresses

Obama is inevitable, huh?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:43 PM

Jonathan V. Last remembers Dean Barnett

He was a pretty damn remarkable guy.

The Weekly Standard blog has a lot more on Dean and some of the many people whose lives he touched. I knew he had a career as a lawyer before he focused on writing, but I didn't realize he'd been a headhunter. (Note to the editors of the L.A. Times: Not literally.) Which makes perfect sense. He kept headhunting as long as he could.

Thank you, Dean.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:44 PM

Mocking false accusations of racism is racist

The great Batton Lash looks at ATTYNSTSAO (All The Things You're Not Supposed To Say About Obama). The cartoon's a little wider than my blog margins, so it's after the jump:

Code_Words.jpg

Check out Batton's site, exhibitapress.com!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:34 PM

Say...

NRO:

Let's try a thought experiment. Say John McCain attended a party at which known racists and terror mongers were in attendance. Say testimonials were given, including a glowing one by McCain for the benefit of the guest of honor ... who happened to be a top apologist for terrorists. Say McCain not only gave a speech but stood by, in tacit approval and solidarity, while other racists and terror mongers gave speeches that reeked of hatred for an American ally and rationalizations of terror attacks.

Now let’s say the Los Angeles Times obtained a videotape of the party.

Let's say you read the rest. Say this is highly reminiscent of the way the LAT turned a blind eye to the Rielle Hunter story, except this one actually matters to you and me. Say it's no wonder the LAT just laid off 10% of their staff.

Say we don't need these unethical bums anymore to find out the truth.

P.S. Even more bad news for the LAT: Patterico.com is back.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:11 PM

October 27, 2008

Barbara West has a Wikipedia entry just for asking Joe Biden some questions

Imagine that. It took Rielle Hunter weeks to get one after she made national news. But then, the only questions Rielle ever asked a candidate were, "Why are you putting on that condom?" and "Why are you putting on that paper bag?"

(Thanks to the guy with the best screen name and attitude ever.)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:59 PM

What does Elaine Lafferty, a staunch Democrat and former editor in chief of Ms. Magazine, think of Sarah Palin?

Not what you'd expect. At least if you've been paying attention to what all the other "feminists" have been saying.

The comments are funny. A Democrat providing a reasoned defense and outright praise for Palin, based on personal knowledge? That's the worst thing ever. Whereas the Republicans who've incoherently slammed Palin, based on little more than the completely biased and outright hostile media coverage? Oh, they're just wonderful.

Again: If Obama is inevitable, why do these guys and gals sound so nervous?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 05:36 PM

Mark Levin is analyzing the latest Obama audio right now

Listen. (XM Ch. 166, Sirius Ch. 144, syndicated stations & times here)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:13 PM

Like I've been saying...

"...the technology explosion has given people, voters, individuals an amazing opportunity. They can learn everything they want to learn about these candidates without us."
-- CNN's John King, who also adds that reporters are a bunch of crybabies who are completely out of touch with the people they're supposed to be informing. Oh, and they're completely biased for Obama. Thanks for reading, John.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:50 PM

Dean Barnett, R.I.P.

He passed away today. He was only 41.

My condolences go out to his family. He was a great writer and he did a lot to encourage me. Just last month he reached out to me about a possible opportunity, but we weren't able to work it out. He told me it was okay, but now I'm ashamed that I didn't allow myself to be a better friend to him. I'm very sorry, Dean.

P.S. Hugh Hewitt has a very thoughtful remembrance of Dean.

P.P.S. More at Hot Air.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:31 PM

Remember: Yelling "Tell 'im!" is hate speech

leftwinghatespeech.jpg

I'm not about to check, but this might be the first time Sarah Palin has ever given Andrew Sullivan an erection.

Just add it to the list of calm, reasonable responses to Palin.

P.S. More left-wing wit.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:36 AM

Open thread

And?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:56 AM | Comments (37)

Reality keeps confirming that kuh-razy ol' right-wing rhetoric

The polls are crap.

Obama is a socialist -- I repeat: a socialist, a guy who thinks the government doesn't have enough control over you -- who tries to repress free speech and pals around with terrorists.

The media is willing to betray its own ideals, not to mention sacrifice its own well-being, to cover up Obama's misdeeds via obfuscation or just plain suppression of the truth.

Nothing to see here, folks. Just do as you're told, and Obama will make everything okay. He controls the tides. He'll give you free lollipops for life. Don't ask questions and nobody gets hurt.

P.S. Until the Obama campaign manages to take this down:

P.P.S. Full transcript.

P.P.P.S. HillBuzz, AKA the people who've experienced firsthand how low the Obama campaign will go, has some good advice: "We can make Obama's socialist admission viral."

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:12 AM

October 26, 2008

Barbara the Reporter

And now the complaints that she wasn't "vetted," in 5... 4... 3... 2...

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:30 AM

October 25, 2008

From cop-killer to cop-caller

I don't like Bill O'Reilly. Usually I can't watch him for more than a few minutes unless he puts Mary Katherine Ham on the screen with him. (Sometimes he even lets her finish a sentence!) But he is to be commended for being the first guy to even look for William Ayers:

What does Joe the Plumber do when you stick a microphone in his face? He acknowledges you. He answers your questions.

Because he hasn't done anything wrong.

They've all gone after a guy who fixes pipes to distract us from the guy who used them to blow stuff up. Before he realized he could do a lot more damage to America with a stealth bomb wrapped in a $1,500 suit and remote-controlled by a teleprompter.

Time to defuse it.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:56 PM

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?*

Many thanks to the Hot Air commenter, whose name I forgot to write down, who pointed me to this:

"You cannot tell from appearances how things will go. Sometimes imagination makes things out far worse than they are; yet without imagination not much can be done. Those people who are imaginative see many more dangers than perhaps exist; certainly many more than will happen; but then they must also pray to be given that extra courage to carry this far-reaching imagination...

"This is the lesson: never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never -- in nothing, great or small, large or petty -- never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy."

That was Winston Churchill in Oct. 1941, talking about the Nazis. This was months before the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. America had expressed support for Britain, but we hadn't entered the war. And still Churchill was defiant. He looked the dirty stinking Nazis right in the eye and said, "No. Not on my watch."

How about a little of that, guys?

Note to my fellow countrymen: You are reading this without fear of censure or repression, in a room that is neither unlivably hot nor cold, free from hunger or able to remedy it within minutes. You have the hard-earned knowledge and wisdom of human history at your fingertips. You can get up from your computer and go wherever you want, do whatever you want, as long as you don't hurt anybody else. Or you can exercise your right to reply to me, or to anyone, in any manner you choose. And thanks to this miracle/curse called the Internet, you can make yourself heard.

You're free, in a way that Americans in 1941 never could have imagined. You have more power as a private individual than anyone else in the history of the world. Right now.

You can talk back to the people who are lying to you, lying about you. You are not helpless. We are not helpless. Their constant drumbeat -- "Obama is inevitable, Obama is inevitable, Obama is inevitable" -- is a sign of weakness, not strength. If they really thought he could win on his own merits, they wouldn't be trying so hard to brainwash you.

Most of all, you can vote. You might try to outwit yourself: "Well, I live in a blue state, so my vote doesn't matter anyway. Besides, they've already pretty much bragged about how they're going to steal the election, and they're getting away with it." All the more reason to take a little time out of your day on Nov. 4 and spite them. They think we're stupid. They think we're cowards. They think we'll believe whatever they say just because they're the ones saying it. Personally, I have no interest in proving them right.

So: Do you think maybe you can hold it together in the face of a few biased polls, princess? A few ads funded by fraudulent donations from Allah knows who? A few turncoat pundits who wouldn't waste their Zinfandel-tinged spittle on you? Do you think you can keep from browning up your panties for just 10 more days, dear heart?

Stop. Whining. One Christopher Buckley is enough, thank you.

Or, to put it much more succinctly, in not-safe-for-work terms:

Fuck these guys. They can't tell you what to do. Yet. Don't you dare give them the chance to try.

*Kids these days. You gotta explain everything to them (NSFW):


Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:50 PM

October 24, 2008

ATTN: Cryptozoologists

You've never found the Loch Ness Monster. Bigfoot has so far eluded you. The Chupacabra, the Jersey Devil, the Crawfordsville Monster, the Yeti, the Wendigo, the Bondo Ape... Not a trace. But as of today, we can strike one heretofore mythical creature off your list:

The Reporter with a Conscience.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:45 PM

Biden's been undergoing the same sort of training with Ted Baxter

No wonder Sarah Palin did so well on "Saturday Night Live." Since she was tapped as John McCain's running mate, the Alaska governor has been receiving intense media training from top New York-based presentation coach Priscilla Shanks, who regularly trains the talent from ABC News and CBS News...

Sorry, Hollywood. She's gonna be a bit busy.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:03 PM

You know who has a really tough job? Tina Fey

Boo hoo. At least you're getting paid for your contributions. We're not all so truly, truly fortunate...

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:27 PM

Hey, why did you donate to Obama?

Recently it's been alleged that the Obama campaign has disabled online security settings that would prevent illegal credit card donations, thus opening the doors for massive fraud. Which, Obama's detractors claim, is why he's raised an unprecedented amount of wealth that he's spreading around to advertising agencies, television networks, video game manufacturers, and anybody else who'll put his name, face, and soothing words on something.

I decided to look past the spin and ask the folks who really know what's going on: the donors themselves. Here's what a few of them said!

  • "I donated because America is ready for a change." -- Spider Mann
  • "Anything I can do to help. He's handsome and he makes me feel happy inside." -- Paul Bunyan
  • "You mean you haven't seen him dance?" -- Al J. Zira
  • "McCain is super-old. Why isn't he young? I like 'em young." -- Cruella de Vil
  • "I've always been a fan of slogans I don't need to think about too much." -- P.W. Herman
  • "If my $199 donation under a different name every 10 minutes can't save our country, I don't know what can." -- Hugh G. Rection
  • "What's wrong with being social? Besides: Social Security. Hello?" -- K. Powers
  • "It is least I can do for nation I am loving so much, my longtimes home since to be, ehhhhh, birth: the America." -- V. Putin
  • "I feel guilty about not paying enough taxes." -- Arthur Fonzarelli
  • "Did you see the shoes that c*** was wearing?" -- Dora T. Explorer
  • "I'm sick of being called a racist." -- Auric Goldfinger
  • "Thees keed's got the goods!" -- Fidel C.
  • "After 8 long years, it's finally time for some transparency in government." -- Captain Silly Ppppbbhht

And another right-wing smear bites the dust. Nice try, wingnuts!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:42 AM

How to prove Barack Obama is not a socialist in 5 easy steps

  1. Give a dictionary definition of socialism.
  2. Ignore how Obama's uncharacteristically honest answer to Joe the Plumber (whoops, no teleprompter!) dovetails with The One's well-documented longtime friendships and working relationships with a bunch of radical socialists.
  3. "A Republican did something that could be called socialist, which means Obama isn't an even bigger one."
  4. Point to a phony poll and claim the message isn't connecting with voters.
  5. Hit Send.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:55 AM

What's $5.3 million divided by $150,000?

The Temple of Barack cost $5.3 million. That's how much the DNC spent on the ridiculously overblown backdrop to Obama's dumb acceptance speech that nobody could even remember 24 hours later. Too bad they didn't add a few more Greek columns, or we could call it the Six Million Dollar Sham.

barackoplis.jpg

And I don't see him traveling with that set. (At least Spinal Tap got some use out of their Stonehenge.) Is the DNC auctioning it off for charity, like the RNC is going to do with the Palin family's campaign threads?

Perspective: 45 minutes of fascist iconography = Two months's worth of clothing for 35 Palin families. A subject, by the way, that you're only bringing up to distract people from Biden's public promise that if Obama is elected, we will be attacked.

The Palins aren't millionaires. She hasn't written two autobiographies about how great she is. She's not keeping the clothes. And now you guys have opened up this line of rebuttal. You really messed up.

Again.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:54 AM

Patterico's new digs

He's now at patterico.net. Change your links to that, because it looks like they're running ads now on patterico.com.

And he could use your help finding out what happened to his site:

Anyone know a good civil lawyer with experience in dealing with domain registration issues, who might be willing to take on a case pro bono, or even just give some general advice on the policies and procedures involved in rescuing a hijacked domain? I’m not to that point just yet, but it may be headed that way.

P.S. Looks like his domain has been hijacked.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:19 AM

Andrea Mitchell and the rest won't do it, so it's up to us

If you think more people need to know what Biden said, please go here, get the embed code, and put this on your own blog. McCain hasn't been committing massive credit card fraud, so he can't afford to do the sort of outright spamming Obama has done with his TV ads. It's easy to fake grassroots support when America's enemies abroad are flooding you with cash.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:39 AM

Hey, maybe it'll be on SNL this week

nytlink4.jpg

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:14 AM

October 23, 2008

Whatever you say, Opie, as long as you promise to pay my tax bills

This helpful reminder from Obama for America: Time is a bitch.

"I'm not telling you this as a Republican or a Democrat. I'm telling you this as an overpaid, underinformed circus clown."

And why's Ron so desperate? Why are the people who don't vote the way he wants us to vote "scared"? I thought Obama had nothing to worry about.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:57 PM

Sarah Palin Supersizes Fries

By David Axelrod, Associated Press

Media Bubble, Oct. 23 -- Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin has come under fire in recent days after it was revealed that earlier this year, a drive-through meal purchased by the Alaskan Governor contained more than the usual number of french fries.

The discovery was made during a routine Associated Press search of drive-through security camera footage obtained from the McDonald's restaurant at 130 Front St. in Juneau, less than a mile from the governor's mansion. On a tape from Feb. 15 of this year, a woman closely resembling Palin can be seen speaking intently for several seconds, pausing, and then nodding her head and smiling. According to lip readers hired by the AP, the woman may very well have been saying, "Oh, you betcha." And in subsequent interviews, restaurant staff have identified the woman as the governor and confirmed that on the night in question, Palin very likely would have been asked about her desired number of fries.

After days of controversy and several evasions ("I sure don't remember specific details about a fast food run I made last winter. Aren't you being a little silly?"), Palin yesterday acknowledged responsibility for her part in the culinary misappropriation widely known as Deliciousgate.

"Okay, I remember now. Trig was kicking away something fierce, and I really had a craving for a double cheeseburger," the former beauty queen and killer of defenseless animals admitted. "Usually I try to eat pretty healthy, but every once in a while you gotta treat yourself. And I figured the little guy wouldn't mind. Todd said he wasn't really hungry, but he could eat some fries maybe. So when the gal asked if I wanted to supersize it, I figured we could just split the fries. Those things are so tasty."

During an appearance in Indianapolis today, President Obama -- delivering his speech in front of his usual backdrop, an enormous solid-gold statue of himself -- scoffed at the greasy slob's miserable excuse for her career-ending irresponsibility.

"Sarah Palin says she's just an ordinary working-class American. [laughter] Now it turns out she eats strips of potato that have been fried and salted. And if somebody offers her more of them for a slightly higher price... that's just fine with her. [boos] Go along, get along, eh, Governor? Are you going to throw away the American people's money too? We cannot afford to have this woman in the White House. Er, I mean a cancer-ravaged heartbeat away from the White House."

Pres. Obama then emitted a discreet puff of arugula-scented flatulence, curing a nearby blind child.

(At press time, Morgan Spurlock could not be reached for comment on this story.)

Previously:

Palin Dodges Tough Questions About Existence of "Alaska"
Misspelling Found in Palin's Personal Journal
McCain Refers to Obama as "My Opponent"
Biden Clarifies Earlier Remarks on His Dread of an Obama Administration

P.S. Welcome Farkers! Fark.com: If Passive-Aggressive Sarcasm Won Elections, We'd Be Backing Lieberman

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:10 PM

Michelle Obama didn't actually call her husband's opponents evil racists

At least not in public. (Just kidding, Michelle!) It looks like that whole thing was a hoax. If you trust WorldNetDaily and Fox News, that is. API still insists they're going to release the audio, but that seems about as likely as somebody making a porno about Joe Biden.

I really showed my keister on that one, didn't I? Sorry, guys. I would've gotten around to correcting this sooner, but I've been so totally outraged that the Palin family isn't running around in potato sacks.

(Thanks for the reminder go out to the inaptly named Jon Swift.)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 05:16 PM

Google Morton Downey Jr. backwards swastika

That all I'm gonna say, except: A distraction is a distraction, no matter which side it's coming from. How about being silly geese and waiting for these crazy things called facts.

P.S. One way to be sure this is a hoax is if the press doesn't suddenly drop it.

Update: Yup. Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it. R.I.P., Bigmouth.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:44 PM

Obama: "And I needed a Greek temple"

McCain: "She needed clothes"

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:19 PM

Obama is not a Democrat just because he says he is, anymore than a wolf is your grandma just because he’s wearing her bonnet

Something to remember the next time one of these Axelturfers says you're accusing all Democrats of being socialists. No, just the ones who espouse socialism.

Look: Obama was asked a simple question that he wasn't adequately prepared to answer falsely. And it confirmed what we'd already suspected from his long history with William Ayers and Saul Alinsky and ACORN and the other socialists who've shaped his view of the world. Deal with it.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:56 PM

The first 60 seconds of the "Sarah Paylin" p0rn0

Safe for work, probably:

(thx, superficial) Yeah, I know, but you have to keep in mind that this movie cost about as much to make as the Palin family's wardrobe budget Obama's Greek columns.

When Palin gets a question about this -- and she will, especially if Biden keeps speaking in public between now and Nov. 4 -- here's what she should say: "Well, it's nothing I haven't seen before, as you might have guessed from my five kids. I figure these guys can say what they want, as long as they spell my name wrong."

P.S. Watching it for the fifth time, strictly in the interest of research, the dialogue is actually pretty funny:

Paylin: "Can I offer you boys a drink?"
Russian soldier 1: "No thanks, we are already pretty drunk."

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:04 PM

As long as the Palin family's wardrobe budget is on the table, how about Obama's iffy donations?

Is his campaign involved in massive credit card fraud? (Please note how I framed it as a question, so I can make the accusation without consequences. Thanks for the helpful hint, media!)

Steyn is all over this today: here, here, here, here, here, and here. That last one is the most important one right now: Don't make a donation under a phony name to test it. They're already verified it.

If this is true, and Obama knows about it, I don't see how it can possibly matter. He was only 5 years old when MasterCard was founded.

P.S. And if it's true, does he still get to spend his ill-gotten gains on that primetime infomercial? Can he still afford the rent on the offices of the New York Times?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:47 PM

Patterico lives

You can't get to http://patterico.com right now, but http://70.32.75.225 will work. Fortunately for us, and unfortunately for the LA Times.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:10 PM

Yes We Hen

David Sedaris sure doesn't like undecided voters:

To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. "Can I interest you in the chicken?" she asks. "Or would you prefer the platter of s*** with bits of broken glass in it?"

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

Please note that in his own subtle, witty fashion, Sedaris just called Barack Obama a chicken. In the New Yorker. And he got away with it!

Do you suppose he had anything to do with this ad?


Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:41 AM

October 22, 2008

Sarah Palin's The Palin family's new wardrobe cost about as much as Obama's stupid Greek columns

barack_stadium.jpg

Pass it on.

So, putting up a ridiculous stage set that made Obama look like a fascist jackass, and then packing it away after one night? That was fine. $140,000-150,000 well spent. But spending the same amount on enough clothes for two months on the campaign trail? That's the biggest scandal since... well, since all the other Palin scandals that weren't.

Have they made an attack on Palin yet that hasn't backfired? Do they think we won't know when it backfires, just because they don't report it on NBC?

P.S. Oh, and now it turns out that the money was to clothe her whole family. How about that. But I'm sure if the Palins were running around in what they wore before she got picked, none of these brainiacs would've had anything bad to say about that.

Did you know Obama's clothes descended from the heavens on a glowing golden cloud? Also, he's a radical socialist and his own running mate said he'll start another world war. But whatever.

P.P.S. That price tag was only for the columns themselves. The whole thing cost... you won't even believe it. If there's an axiom that sums up the Obama campaign, it's this: The more ridiculous something sounds, the more likely it is that it's true.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:21 PM

If you have any doubt that Andrea Mitchell will do anything she can to get Obama elected, watch this clip until the end

Right after Palin's acceptance speech:

It's not like she's a ray of sunshine under the best of circumstances, but at that moment, I actually felt a little sorry for the old gal.

Not anymore. Now she's been caught trying to cover up Biden's mega-gaffe. Apparently she thinks:

  1. He didn't mean to say that America absolutely will be attacked if Obama is elected. Well, as he put it, twice: "Mark my words." I'm pretty sure that meant he was speaking on the record.
  2. You and I don't have the right to know.

She talks into a camera for a living. She gets to decide that Biden's public statement isn't important. We're not smart enough to figure it out for ourselves. After all, we might get the wrong idea.

Didn't it used to be Speak Truth to Power? When did it become Hide Truth for Power? Guess it all depends on the Power.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:00 PM

Finally, Obama says something that's demonstrably true

"Don't underestimate the capacity of Democrats to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Don't underestimate our ability to screw it up."

Is Biden rubbing off on him, or vice versa?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:02 PM

Biden Clarifies Earlier Remarks on His Dread of an Obama Administration

plugs.jpgRichmond, VA, Oct. 22 -- At a campaign stop in a Richmond-area Denny's earlier today, Delaware Senator and Democratic Vice Presidential candidate Joe Biden followed up on his controversial claim last Sunday that within the first six months of an Obama administration, America would "have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy."

Biden's statement to the press:

"Ya know, I kinda put my foot in my mouth the other day... [chuckle] You folks know how I can get, with the words and the talking and the babbling and the yammering and so forth. But I just wanted to clarify those remarks. I know I speak for Obama when I say that we are ready to lead. Come what may, we are gonna be out there in front. Because I gotta tell ya, when this great man, this fantastic young African-American kid who I'm proud to call my closest friend, when he becomes president, the American people need to know that you are all gonna be grabbin' your ankles every April 15 for the rest of your probably-shortened lives.

"I mean, the taxes, they're gonna be unbelievable. Holy f***. So we'll need your help with that. You're gonna have to pay 'em. There's no way we can repel a full-scale nationwide tax revolt without resorting to nuclear, biological, or chemical weapons, at least in the scenarios they've shown me, so we're countin' on you to do the right thing.

"And I'd say to America, this land that I love: You've all seen what an agent of change Barack Obama is. He's brought together people from all walks of life. He's inspired every single person in this country, no matter who you are or what you look like or even if you're into, y'know, the funny stuff. [chuckle] Which is gonna be a great comfort when the Obama administration strangles the U.S. economy and sets off a long, terrifying race war.

"It is gonna suck beyond anything you could ever imagine. I'm not even kidding. I have a great fondness and admiration for the African-American people, I think they've done some great work over the years, but when push comes to shove, I know which side I'm on. You follow me?

"But Obama is gonna be there, and he's gonna learn the ropes, probably. It'll be really hard for you guys to survive in the nightmarish, decaying wasteland he'll make of this great nation, but those are the sorts of experiences that shape a man. And I know he's gonna come through it okay, at least in terms of his own personal safety."

Before being escorted out of the restaurant by frenzied campaign aides, Biden added, "And don't forget Iran! They know he's a pushover. Which is one of the things I love about the guy, he's a pussycat, but these animals? Boy oh boy. Can you say 'suitcase nuke'? I don't know for sure which city, but I'm guessing one of the smaller Midwest towns we're not watching that closely, maybe Omaha or Akron or one of those deals. You should probably start evacuating now.

"Okay, whoa, looks like my time's up. Easy on the threads, fellas, it's a rental. [chuckle]"

(Note to any media outlet that uses this: You had better by God credit me.)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:11 PM

If RNC = Real Nice Clothes, then DNC = Distractions from a Nincompoop's Craziness

But thanks for the link.

Speaking of Biden, I've been getting some tips on his followup statement, which the media has been trying to bury as well. Developing...

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:00 PM

$150,000, that's a lot of money

Scandalous. Say, is that more than Obama has spent on ads this morning?

And what's that? We actually know where this money came from? Well, that's weird.

Do you think the press is desperately trying to make Sarah Palin look bad to draw attention away from something that's inconvenient for them? Let's say, Joe Biden's attempts to sabotage what might be his last shot at the White House, at the rate his face is melting? I'm asking because I'm not sure. The fact that the JTP pipe-bomb they built blew up in their faces might have something to do with it too. In this hypothetical scenario, I mean.

You know what Einstein's definition of insanity was, right?

Well, it's fun to watch. Keep up the good work, People Who Are Smarter Than Us!

By the way: Notice how nobody on the right is pointing at Biden and yelling, "Eagleton!" You know, the way the left keeps doing whenever Palin scares them.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:43 AM

It's a simple three-step process

  1. Ruth Marcus of the Washington Post makes stuff up and expects people to believe it because she's saying it.
  2. Tracy Miller Quinn provides a service formerly performed by editors, way back when newspapers could still afford them: fact-checking.
  3. We all point and laugh at Ruth Marcus.

Try it with one of the brainiacs at your least-favorite paper. It's fun! And it'll give them something to whine about in their next column. So everybody wins.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:45 AM

Maybe Biden's smarter than we think

McCain has promised to reach across the aisle if elected, right? So maybe "We'll get attacked plenty quick under an Obama administration, just you wait" is Biden's way of angling for a cabinet post? I'd say he's earned one.

Secretary of Da Dunce!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:16 AM

You bet I am

And if Obama gets elected and you stand in his way, or so much as refuse to avert your eyes, you'll be Joe the Plumber too.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 05:44 AM

Zo's latest

I always feel like I need a Red Bull after one of his rants. Mainly because I'm jumping up and down laughing and cheering the whole time, and I'm not used to the exercise.

All of his videos are good, but if you watch only one other, make it The Vote Reaper. Sure, it's right-wing violence, but what great choreography. "Oh, you'll have to pry my vote from my cold, dead hands, baby!"

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:03 AM

October 21, 2008

Speaking of Obama's clothes...

The great Batton Lash weighs in on our new friend Joe the Plumber, who had no idea a mere 10 days ago that he'd ever plumb the depths of the media's shamelessness:

noclothes.jpg

If you think there should be a fourth panel where Obama says something to try to stop it, you must know something the rest of us don't.

Previous Batton: Hope!

P.S. If you post this cartoon, please link to Batton's site, exhibitapress.com. He does some cool comics.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:51 PM

Sure, Obama is an avowed socialist, and Biden says electing him will trigger another 9/11 (which would be just fine with William Ayers), but let's get back to the real issues

Forget all those distractions. What about this???

imreallylosingmypatience.jpg

Did she forget to put juice boxes in their lunches, too?

Who at the AP vetted Brett J. Blackledge, Adam Goldman, and Matt Apuzzo? And why aren't newspapers abandoning the AP faster?

P.S. No distractions:

lookoverthere.jpg

Did you know Michelle Obama makes all of Barack's clothes by hand? The workers control the means of fashion.

They really need to change the name from the Politico to the Obamico.

P.S. How many millions is Obama spending on ads every week? How much is he spending to possibly postpone game 6 of the World Series with his dumb infomerical? And when is he going to tell us where all that money is coming from?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:16 PM

Josh the Whiner

If these crybabies act like this when a construction worker has the unmitigated gall to question their infallibility, just think how they'll feel in 2 weeks when the whole country does.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 05:19 PM

If I were a congressman, I'd introduce the Sufferin' Succotash bill just so Barney Frank would have to say it

And that was my Mark Levin liveblog.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:23 PM

It's a bit awkward, but "pickpocket" would be [the R-word]

Palin dubs Obama: 'Barack the Wealth Spender'

But fine, I'll say it, for Google purposes: Barack the Pickpocket. Hey, if they're going to call you a racist no matter what, why not tell the truth?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:57 PM

Two ways you know McCain and Palin are saying something true about Obama

  1. Somebody in the comments of a blog desperately insists McCain and Palin are lying and it's not going to work and nobody cares.
  2. A media professional or other prominent Democrat calls it racist.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:32 PM

If you want to destroy my banner, hold this thread as I walk away

oohlala.jpg

If I have to explain this post, you shouldn't be reading this blog.

Wait, come back!

(thx, marcus)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:00 PM

What are the first three words of the Constitution?

We the Politicians?
We the Reporters?
We the Pundits?
We the Pollsters?
We the Academics?
We the Actors?
We the Comedians?
We the Worms?
We the Shadowy Left-Wing Billionaires with Unnerving Accents?

Okay, that last one was way too many words, but you get the idea. This crap isn't working on me, and the harder they try to get me to stay home on Nov. 4, the harder I circle my calendar.

And on that note, please enjoy David "Indigestible Waste" Corn getting schooled by a Colombian-born construction worker and McCain voter named Tito Munoz. You can skip the first 80 seconds of Obamanchurian boilerplate if you want to get to the good stuff. And note how the still image they used was one of the wackjobs selling those stupid bumper stickers, who got clowned for it by McCain supporters:

Go, Tito, go! And here's something even more humiliating to Corn that he left out of his report, but Byron York didn't:

"Let me talk," Munoz said to Corn. "I know the Constitution, and I know my First Amendment -- "

"I'm not the state," Corn said. "I can't take that right away from you."

"No, no," Munoz shot back. "Even the state, the state cannot take that right away."

"Right, right," Corn quickly agreed.

"Nobody can take that away," Munoz said.

Yet.

Having a camera pointed at you or a desk in a newsroom does not make you a genius, and having a hard hat and a toolbelt does not make you a dummy. These guys still don't get that, which is why they're going to blow it.

Obama wanted to whip up a class war, but somehow I don't think this was what he had in mind.

(thx, john)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:05 PM

Misogynists for Obama

"The problem for Obama isn't ambition, it's hubris. A more grounded politician would have put in the work to match their aspirations. That Obama hasn't done that bespeaks a tremendous, even scary, overconfidence."

-- An adult

Oh wait, that quote is actually about Sarah Palin, and it's from Ezra Klein. I saw it at a great new site called frighteningprospect.com, which -- and I might need to double-check this -- leans a bit to the left. Here's how they're combating the scary, scary hate speech (that never actually happened) from the evil Republicans:

calm_well-informed_analysis.jpg

Please send this to every undecided voter you know. If this doesn't convince them one way or another, I don't know what will.

P.S. And remember, if somebody yells "Tell 'im!" at a Palin rally, and a very stupid reporter either mishears it or outright distorts it as a threat, that's right-wing hate speech from hateful right-wing haters who lean to the right. That's national news. But this kind of crap, it's just "on the fringe."

You want to wear a t-shirt that says Sarah Palin is a See You Next Tuesday? Hey, this is America. You want to hurt a defenseless woman for daring to hold a McCain/Palin sign? Ahhh, no big deal. Want to trick McCain into a photo shoot for a national magazine, and then use the pictures for the vilest propaganda imaginable? Artistic license. Want to say "F*** all y'all" to an entire political party on your former comedy show? Brave social commentary. Want to plaster up signs in public places depicting Palin as a bloodthirsty ghoul? Youthful exuberance.

Want to yell "Tell 'im!" at a political rally? You racist. You Nazi. You Republican.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:07 PM

"Let's play a little game... which candidate on a national political ticket hasn't held a press conference in over a month?"

The answer may surprise you. (If you've been brainwashed. In which case, you're already formulating whatever excuse you need to believe to calm your cognitive dissonance.)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:30 AM

Still planning to vote for Him?

Read this.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:06 AM

In which I give Obama a bad rap

A little over a month ago -- time flies! -- I shared a rap I wrote for Obama to help him remind America that John McCain is a war hero with crippling torture injuries. Apparently the Obama campaign has dropped that tactic for some reason, but given all the events since then, I thought I'd have another go at helping him out.

Barry, please feel free to spit this educational rhyme at your next speech, rally, or Black Liberation Theology reading group:

Well! My! Name is Barack and I'm gonna raise your taxes
Intimidated media won't tell ya what the facts is

That plumber was a bummer when his question caused a schism
'Tween the folks who like their paychecks and the fans of socialism

I hung out with a terrorist for 10 or 20 years
But don't you bring it up, or I'll holla "Fight the Smears!"

You racists try to stop me with your bigotry and hate
Just because my bestest buddies used to laugh at Sharon Tate

I've spent a half a billion on an advertising blitz
But according to the polls I worship, it ain't doin' $#!+

I'm getting mad donations and I'm gonna get some mo'
From my man Good Will and my buddy Doodad Pro

My campaign calls your house all day and bugs you while you're eatin'
And ACORN ain't about to stop the unrepentant cheatin'

I smirk, I'm a jerk, and I work within the system
To bring about a class war that will crush capitalism

Alinsky is a prophet and I think you oughta listen
I'll send an "Action Wire" if you even try to diss him

It's only a coincidence I'm going into hidin'
After weeks of harsh attacks by an imbecile named Biden

So don't you mess with me or I'll vet ya till you're quiet
And if I'm not elected, then there's gonna be a riot

PEACE!!

What. They did it to Palin. Was mine as good?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:22 AM

Sick grandma.

Okay.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:40 AM

October 20, 2008

"I gotta do it now before Obama takes my money"

That's what my new friend Matt said when he dropped a few pesos in my Paypal. He didn't leave an e-mail address, so I just wanted to say thanks for the bucks and the chuckle. And to remind everybody that I do have a Paypal button. (Not a beg, just a reminder. Do whatever you think is right. Just remember, "spreading the wealth around" ain't charity if you think I've earned it. And unlike Obama, I have no plans to force you to.)

And while I'm at it, thanks also to everyone who's written in over the last couple of months. I've been trying to reply to everybody, but if I missed you by accident, thanks very much. I really appreciate your support, and I hope all this stuff is doing some good.

Jeez. What is this, Oprah? Here is a picture of a liberal for you to point and laugh at:

fag (the cigarette I mean).jpg

That was their reaction when they lost in '04. They actually took head-tilty pictures of themselves, with signs saying "Sorry, everybody" to all the other countries we were somehow supposed to atone to. I can't wait to see what they come up with this time!

But what if McCain loses, you ask? It's possible, I suppose. (Go, ACORN!) Well, I might indeed make a "Sorry" sign, but it will be addressed to the American taxpayer.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:51 PM

But Obama was only 40 years old when Ayers said this


Regrets? He's had a few, but then again: "Is it one of those regrets that I took extreme measures against the United States at a time of tremendous crisis? No, it is not. I don't regret that."

Palin is supposed to be held responsible when somebody at one of her rallies yells "Tell 'im!" and a reporter, The Man in the Orange Hat, hears "Kill 'im!" And we're supposed to believe Obama didn't know anything about his close friend and colleague William Ayers publicly bragging about his crimes.

This is kind of like the Rielle Hunter media coverup, except with the orphaned offspring of murdered police officers.

Do you still subscribe to a newspaper? If so, why?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:52 PM

"We need to fix this, fast. Were there any plumbers in the crowd?"

joe_the_dumber.jpgJoe the Dumber, AKA Biden, whose latest facial mutation resembles a glob of bread dough with two raisins pressed into it*, sure is making Palin look like the stupid one:

"Mark my words," the Democratic vice presidential nominee warned at the second of his two Seattle fundraisers Sunday. "It will not be six months before the world tests Barack Obama like they did John Kennedy. The world is looking. We're about to elect a brilliant 47-year-old senator president of the United States of America. Remember I said it standing here if you don't remember anything else I said. Watch, we're gonna have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy."

See headline.

*I know, I know. But at least McCain is under no illusions about the hands of time. If these idiots get elected, every month they'll ship drums of virgins' blood to the Naval Observatory for Biden to bathe in. Just kidding, they wouldn't necessarily need to be virgins.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:48 PM

How did he manage to liquify 2 or 3 episodes of St. Elsewhere?

begleysbest.jpg

Via Lileks, who also wonders why Joe the Plumber is under so much more media scrutiny than Bill the Bomber. Sure, Ayers did some mischievous things 20-40 years ago, and his deep, longtime friendship with Obama only reinforces the whole socialism thing. But Wurzelbacher's van was parked in a handicapped spot while he ran inside to pick up his pizza last month. Why don't you talk about the issues that affect us today, instead of living in the past? Quit trying to change the subject, wingnuts!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:33 PM

I'd say "cut it out," but you know how I feel about puns

Quick note to the jerks who don't understand that there are plenty of legitimate ways to oppose Obama's supporters: If you slash their tires, they can't go away.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:24 PM

Good thing he missed his flight that morning, huh?

Family Guy's Seth MacFarlane compares McCain and Palin to the Nazis.

Ask me again why I'm not worried.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:43 AM

You heard it here first

Wurzelbacher/Munoz '24!

"But Jim," you're saying, "Tito Munoz would be constitutionally ineligible because he's not a natural-born citizen." Well, when has that ever stopped anybody?

P.S. Here's the original article. Tito rules, and David Corn proves why he's named after a vegetable commonly embedded in feces.

Shorter Corn: "How dare that guy ask about taxes, when he's got a property tax lien he didn't even know about until Obama's oppo researchers dug it up? Er, I mean the media. Anyway, let's talk about anything but Obama's socialist worldview."

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:18 AM

Is mentioning that Obama wants to raise your taxes a distraction from the economy?

I admit, I don't really understand the whole Freddie & Fannie thing. I know it has to do with people being encouraged to buy mortgages they couldn't afford, and that the politicians who made that possible are now telling me they're the only ones who can fix it. And I know it's causing big problems with the economy, with lots of huge numbers being thrown around. But it's all a bit abstract.

Having to pay taxes? That I understand. Being told I should pay more so that somebody who's even lazier than I am can get a handout? That I understand.

And I understand not wanting to be crucified for asking about it.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:05 AM

Did Obama really start his political career in the living room of a radical socialist cop-killer?*

Patterico, a name whispered in solemn tones within the increasingly lonely halls of the Los Angeles Times, has dug up evidence that Obama did in fact get his start in the home of William Ayers and Bernadette Dohrn. More specifically, evidence that somebody's trying to scrub that fact from the Internet. If it's not true, why try to hide it? Why not update the post and just say, "You know, I remembered that wrong. Never mind."

You need to decide, Obama fans: Either this stuff didn't happen, or it happened but I'm not supposed to care that he lied about it. You need to pick one or the other and stick with that.

P.S. Patterico has a screenshot of the now-deleted post from the Musings & Migraines blog, which is still archived here. And in the interest of "information wanting to be free" (thanks, lefties!), here's the full text:

Thursday, January 27, 2005
Get to know Barack Obama
When I first met Barack Obama, he was giving a standard, innocuous little talk in the livingroom of those two legends-in-their-own-minds, Bill Ayers and Bernardine Dohrn. They were launching him--introducing him to the Hyde Park community as the best thing since sliced bread. His "bright eyes and easy smile" struck me as contrived and calculated--maybe because I was supporting another candidate. Since then, I've never heard him say anything new or earthshaking, or support anything that would require the courage of his convictions. I only voted for him in this last race--because his opponent was a pinhead. And I've been mostly alone in my views. But maybe that's changing.

Thanks, Barack. By voting to confirm Condoleezza Rice for Secretary of State you confirmed my opinion of you as someone who will not come through when it counts. You voted with the entire Republican membership rather than your compadre, Dick Durbin, and the man you supported for president, John Kerry. Your sense of collegiality is ridiculous under the circumstances.

What are all those people who thought you walked on water thinking now? I'm just wondering who's going to whisper in President CandyAss's ear when Condo's busy playing Secretary of State.

Back in January 2005, what possible reason would this woman have to make this up? Did she just pick three names at random?

P.P.S. Considering the events of the last two months: If you think this story is important, I highly encourage you to cut and paste the preceding quote onto your own blog, with a link to the archived copy. They can't stop all of us. Yet.

Here's the Google cache, in case that other one disappears.

*Sorry, make that two radical socialist cop-killers.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:00 AM

October 19, 2008

"Spread the wealth around"

Just a reminder that those are the four words Obama wants you to forget he ever said.

Hang in there, Joe. And get some rest, guys. Stay sharp.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:41 PM

Here's how to answer "Did you know the Annenberg Challenge was funded by a Republican and included many Republican leaders?"

"Well, how about that. Did you know the planes used on 9/11 weren't built by terrorists?"

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:33 PM

The sprawling skyscraper where Barack Obama and William Ayers worked together for years but never laid eyes on each other

135 south sangamon.JPG

"Yes, Ayers and I worked on the same floor, but don't all buildings have floors? Are we going to check all the floors in all the buildings? This is just a distraction from the distraction I'm trying to distract you with." And so on, and so forth.

Given Obama's proven fondness for the working man, perhaps this building has a custodian who can keep Joe the Plumber company under the bus. Not a lot of room left down there...

P.S. Better pic.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:46 PM

Here's why I haven't watched this guy in almost 4 years

Content warning for adult language and childish parochialism:

"I've never heard such a disparity between how cute someone sounds when they're saying something and how terrible what they're saying is." True fact: Obama has gotten where he is in spite of his looks, and he has yet to tell a single lie.

"After eight years of this divisiveness, we're back to this idea that only small-town America is the real America." Hey, Jon. There are more stand-up comedians than plumbers, right? (Larry the Cable Guy is a special case, I think.)

And if all criticism of Obama is racist, can we start calling all criticism of Palin misogynist?

Jon Stewart hates women.

(thx, MKH)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:25 PM

Well, at least it's made more than An American Carol...

Box Office Mojo:

w(astedfilmstock).jpg

Ooof. It edged out that Bill Maher movie too, so at least there's that.

Stone should have gone with his first instinct and called it No Country for Old Chimps. That might have sold a few more tickets. I'd try to make a joke based on another Josh Brolin movie, but I can't think of any.

P.S. A day later, the total at Box Office Mojo is actually down by $45,000. So either they counted wrong or at least 4,000 people demanded their money back.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:22 PM

"We speak truth to plumber"

Steyn!

One correction: Joe wasn't on a rope line. He didn't go out of his way to accidentally expose Obama's big secret. Well, one of his big secrets. Obama quite literally came to Joe. And now David Axelrod is atoning for his very, very serious mistake -- letting Obama wander around in public without a script -- by sending his astroturfing kiddies all over the Internet to defame Joe and distract us all from Obama's publicly admitted socialism. Then those lies and half-truths and rumors get funnelled from the left-wing blogs to the "news." The exact same process they used, and are still using, to try to derail Palin.

I'm not the only one who can see this, right?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:18 PM

At least they're hearing us, even if they're not listening

nytlink3.jpg

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:10 PM

Archives are racist

obama_ayers_review.jpg

ayers-book-cap-highlighted.jpg

It's not a Photoshop. Besides, if it's not important, why would you try to say it's a Photoshop? And he really is mentioned in the book. By the guy he barely knew well enough to say hi to when they worked in the same small office for three years.

I can just see it now: "These clippings are fake, and besides, I didn't really like the book as much as I claimed. I was only 35 when I didn't write that." Etc. Same thing with this Joe the Plumber smear campaign, and "100% of my opponent's ads are negative," and "I never heard Rev. Wright say a single bad thing in 20 years," and every other attempt to cover up something that might make voters think twice about Obama. He and his acolytes will say anything and make themselves believe anything.

The Obama Way: Just throw out every denial and non sequitur you can think of, even if they contradict each other. Scatter so much chaff that your opponents get distracted by all of it, and the people who aren't paying close enough attention eventually shrug and say, "He couldn't be that big of a liar, could he?" And do it with a calm, earnest tone and a serious look on your face to hypnotize morons like Christopher Buckley.

If you support Obama, please watch some TV Land and realize that you want to elect Eddie Haskell.

I have to believe that enough voters are seeing through his rhetorical tactics, and resisting his effort to turn our doubts about the content of his character into doubts about the color of his skin. Enough voters are catching on to make a difference. He can't brainwash everybody.

Can he?

P.S. On Oct. 8, Obama's communication director had this to say about the Obama/Ayers friendship to Sean Hannity and the other one:

HANNITY: Wait a minute. Wait, he did blurb his book, you know?

GIBBS: No.

Communication directed.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:04 PM

I'm starting to think we should just cancel the Internet and go back to CB radio

According to David Burge, some dimwit has set up a Cafe Press store selling crap with that "I Am Joe" banner. They're trying to make money off this guy who might just lose his job, and definitely has lost any sense of privacy, for talking to a politician. Every time I think people can't disappoint and disgust me more, they prove me wrong.

Sounds like Burge is trying to put a stop to it, but in the meantime, if you see anybody selling stuff with this logo on it:

None of the money is going to Joe. So don't buy anything with that logo. Whoever's selling it is a... I'm really trying not to curse these days... a stupid, incompetent, or detestable person. That about covers it.

P.S. Nicely done. I'm really starting to wonder if Obama hired Dr. Evil and he's zapping us all with a space-based mind-control ray. Except even less funny.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:23 AM

They are sweeping Obama's socialist answer to Joe Wurzelbacher's question under the rug

The Associated Press has a story about Joe's appearance on Mike Huckabee's new show on Fox News last night. Apparently Joe talked about how much fun he's not having as these rabid media freaks try to tear him apart. But the story totally skips over why they're trying to tear him apart:

Wurzelbacher became famous after he met Obama and said the Democrat's tax proposal could keep him from buying the two-man plumbing company where he works. However, reports of Wurzelbacher's annual earnings suggest he would receive a tax cut rather than an increase under Obama's plan.

Who's doing the suggesting? Beats me. Must have been suggested in the hourly instructions they get from the Obama campaign.

More importantly, there is no indication whatsoever of how Obama replied to the question. In case you missed it, this is what he said:

"It's not that I want to punish your success. I want to make sure that everybody who is behind you, that they've got a chance for success, too. My attitude is that if the economy's good for folks from the bottom up, it's gonna be good for everybody. I think when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody."

They can't repeat that, of course. They can't risk even more people finding out that Obama is a socialist. Even though it's the only real reason we're still even talking about Joe the Plumber.

It is completely bizarre. There's no stated explanation in the AP story why Joe's the target of this media assault. They're attacking him, you see, because they're attacking him.

Yeah, McCain mentioned him in the debate, fine. That doesn't explain why they're treating Joe like this. Is he the first person McCain's ever mentioned in a debate? Is he the first person who's ever asked a politician about taxes?

No. He's under assault because he happened to be there when Obama was caught without a teleprompter and started babbling about socialism in front of a TV camera.

We need to get in their faces. We need to say, "Why are you doing this?" We need to get them to admit it.

info@ap.org

P.S. Here's the interview (thx, michele). Huckabee gets it:


Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:00 AM

His story hasn't changed; we're just too dumb to get it straight

  • trustme.JPG"William Ayers is just a guy who lives in my neighborhood."
  • trustme2.JPG"I talked to him now and then, but I had no idea what he had done until later. I will now repeat the phrase 'detestable acts' 27 times."
  • trustme3.JPG"Yes, like I said, he launched my political career in his own living room and I knew about the bombings and stuff all along, but I thought he had been rehabilitated. I learned about it some time after we met, which we have yet to do."
  • trustme4.JPG"Sure, we served on some boards together and spent tens of millions of other people's dollars on an 'education foundation' that would frighten any reasonable person who learned anything about it, which they won't because the press isn't interested and I have no knowledge of it. As I have maintained all along, and I'm surprised you're misremembering this, I've acknowledged that Ayers and I were colleagues. But I never knew about those despicable acts he acted upon despicably, which I condemned then and still do."
  • trustme.JPG"Did you know I was never actually a member of the Weather Underground? I resent that you're accusing me of something you're not accusing me of. That bad stuff happened 40 years ago, which means it couldn't possibly have repercussions now. Despicable acts are detestable and vice versa."
  • trustme2.JPG"The fact that I wrote a newspaper blurb (accompanied by my picture) for one of Ayers' books, a book in which I was mentioned by name, has been known all along. I am filing a lawsuit against the GOP for spreading this disgraceful lie. You are getting very sleepy."
  • trustme3.JPG"Did Bill Ayers and I work in the same office for three years? Of course we did. I've never denied that. And yes, it was a very small office, which [grins] was not illegal the last time I checked. But his desk was facing in a completely different direction than mine, and I wasn't even born yet when that building was constructed. Also, there are lots of buildings in Chicago. Look, this is boring. Can I be president now?"

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:35 AM

Good question

hi_socialist.jpg"What, exactly, is so awful about 'spreading the wealth'?"

Oh, nothing.

Now that we've cleared that up, Mr. Cohn, I'll take yours. Gimme. I haven't earned it, but it's not fair that you have more than I do. Hand it over. No, you don't have any choice in the matter. No, you don't even know me. No, you don't know what I'm going to spend your money on. It's none of your business. Obama said I could have it. What are you, a racist? Cough it up. Show a little patriotism. There we go.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:01 AM

snl haiku

palin raised the roof
fey's resemblance? not so close
poehler's water broke

P.S. After the Weekend Update deal, Palin is the only one on either ticket I can see having a really good time at a wedding reception. If you think that's a bad thing, you suck.

P.P.S. I only saw the Palin clips online, so I don't know if any of the other sketches stole from me again.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:09 AM

October 18, 2008

My letter to Jodi Kantor of the New York Times

From: Me
To: kantor@nytimes.com
Re: I've got a hot tip on Cindy McCain

jodikantor.jpgShe's got really pretty eyes. Do you think you can use that?

Well, it was worth a shot. In any case, thanks for trying to trick a teenage girl into helping you with your hatchet piece on her friend's mom by pretending to be friendly to her. All's fair, right?

I'm assuming you guys have time before the election to do a followup story on Cindy's surreptitious nosepicking or something. Unless you're still busy "vetting" Joe the Plumber's parking tickets, overdue DVD rentals, and whatever else you can dig up to distract us from Barack Obama's now-revealed radical socialism. Not to mention all the various other unsavory aspects of Obama's character and record that might prevent him from taking office if you weren't suppressing them. Good thing you guys did pinky swears!

Just kidding. A lot of people say that you folks know you're not going to be in business for much longer, so this might be your last chance to throw an election. They say you'll go to any lengths to protect the Democrat. Especially since he's a Democrat you can point to and say, "There. See? This proves I'm not a racist!" But I don't believe a word of it. You're just doing what you know in your heart is right.

Hey, did you know that the guy who has befriended and mentored Obama for decades, and even babysat his kids, is also responsible for the death of several cops? And he's still pretty pumped about it? Yawn!

Why don't you go ahead and have a great day.

Your pal,
Jim Treacher
http://jimtreacher.com

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:05 PM

Obama is a socialist, and the press is going after Joe "The Plumber" Wurzelbacher as a way of distracting us from that

I don't have anything to add to it that I haven't said already. Just thought it was worth putting in big bold letters.

Joe "The Plumber" Wurzelbacher... sounds like a pro wrestler! And can you prove he's not one, you wingnuts?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:24 PM

My letter to Time Magazine

From: Me
To: letters@time.com
Re: Thank you for exposing the truth about Joe the Plumber

Does this mean Obama isn't really a socialist?

It's almost like you guys are digging through this ordinary working man's life to distract us from how Obama answered a simple, honest question about his tax plan. But why in the world would you do that? It's not like it would hurt Obama's chances if you focused on how, in his own words, he wants to take my money -- on top of what I'm paying to the government already -- and hand it to people who haven't earned it. And I don't get to choose how much he takes, or who it goes to. Because otherwise, Obama says, life isn't fair.

AKA socialism.

But no, this plumber is the real problem. Get him!

You guys had better buy a bigger coffee machine for your subscriptions department, if you can still afford it. They are going to be working overtime on this one.

Jim Treacher
http://jimtreacher.com

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:10 PM

And the week's biggest victim of a hostile media is:

Barack Obama!

"I am convinced that if there were no Fox News, I might be two or three points higher in the polls. If I were watching Fox News, I wouldn't vote for me, right?

"Because the way I'm portrayed 24/7 is as a freak! I am the latte-sipping, New York Times-reading, Volvo-driving, no-gun-owning, effete, politically correct, arrogant liberal. Who wants somebody like that?"

I would've guessed cappuccino.

It's not enough that he has the overwhelming majority of the media -- not to mention the left-wing blogs that are apparently their main source of information -- in his pocket. He can brook no disagreement whatsoever. Want to go on the radio to talk about his past? You must be stopped. Want to put out ads about his positions on the issues? You must be stopped. Want to ask him a question when he descends from the heavens into your neighborhood while you're playing football with your kid? You must be stopped.

Obama is the victim, no matter what. That really is how he sees himself. Vote for President Princess!

Why do you think Palin knocked him for a loop in the first round? Because she mocked his behavior. She got big laughs by repeating his rhetoric. She saw his biggest weakness, his huge, easily bruised ego, and zeroed in on it. He's learned from that -- note his amazingly genuine laughter at McCain's home-hitting zingers the other night -- but not soon enough.

And obviously not completely enough. We can see you, Barack. Keep whining about how mean the meanies are.

If you vote for this narcissist, then you'd better be prepared for at least 4 years of agreeing with every single thing he says and does. Keep your mouth shut, racist. Or he'll get his guys to shut it for you.

P.S. You want to see Joe's license to question Obama? Dig up his birth certificate. Joe's, I mean. Obama's is off-limits.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:34 AM

Obama's answer to Joe's question

I just realized that I haven't actually quoted him, assuming that you already know exactly what he said. You probably do. But that's why they're going after Joe for asking a question about Obama's tax plan, to distract us from Obama's answer. So it can't hurt to repeat it:

"It's not that I want to punish your success. I want to make sure that everybody who is behind you, that they've got a chance for success, too. My attitude is that if the economy's good for folks from the bottom up, it's gonna be good for everybody. I think when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody."

Obama doesn't want to punish your success; he just wants to take the fruits of your labor and give them to people who haven't earned them. He wants to force you to give the amount of his choice to the charity of his choice. Don't worry about it, he'll take care of the whole thing.

Obama is a socialist. Pass it on.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:42 AM

Maybe I haven't been looking, but in the media frenzy to destroy Joe the Plumber, here's a quote I haven't seen much since Wednesday

This exchange from the debate is very revealing:

"Nobody likes taxes. Let's not raise anybody's taxes."

"Well, I don't mind paying a little more."

I'll let you guess which one said which. Hint: The second guy is now trying to crush a plumber from Ohio for asking a question. Or at the very least isn't speaking out against ruining the man's life.

"I don't mind paying a little more." Well, good for you. I sure as hell do.

If "it's the economy, stupid," aren't higher taxes part of the discussion? I'm no economist, but I do know that every dollar I give to the government is a dollar I can't put into the economy. One campaign is saying they want to lower my taxes, and the other campaign is questioning my patriotism if I complain about higher taxes. And millionaires like Diane Sawyer and Katie Couric are backing up the latter. I would suggest that they find the nearest large body of water and hurl themselves in.

And don't give me that "95%" crap. Why doesn't Obama just go all-out and promise that 110% of Americans will get a tax cut? (Oddly enough, that's the same percentage of Americans who've registered to vote.)

If we're going to plunge headlong into outright socialism, then I want some of what George Clooney's got. You're a big Obama backer, right, George? Well then, put your money where your wagging, chiseled chin is. It's not fair that you've got so much more than I do. I'll take one of your houses and one of your cast-off girlfriends. Doesn't have to be one of the good ones in either category. Whatever you can spare, genius.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:12 AM

Why hasn't McCain conceded yet?

Editor & Publisher is brimming with confidence:

The Obama-Biden ticket maintains its strong lead in the race for newspaper endorsements, picking up 17 more papers in the past day, including the giant Los Angeles Times and Chicago Tribune on Friday afternoon (see separate story), and the Denver Post, Atlanta Journal-Constitution, The Salt Lake Tribune, Kansas City Star, Southwest News-Herald (Ill.) and Chicago Sun-Times tonight.

Maybe I haven't been paying close enough attention, but has there really been a race for newspaper endorsements? Have we replaced the electoral college with the editorial college?

Oh wait, I get it. This is yet another sign of the futility of voting for McCain, right? "The newspapers I don't read anymore unless a trustworthy blog links to them, they favor Obama 3-1. Sure, most reporters are liberals and they've given up denying it, but still. Guess it really is over."

Yet another sign of doom and gloom, my McCain-sympathizing friends:

The readership of the 53 newspapers backing Obama now stands at well over 7 million.

Which is somewhat over 1/3rd of Rush Limbaugh's audience. He's endorsing Obama too, I think? Not sure; I'm more of a Mark Levin fan. Thank me!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:50 AM

What Burge said

I am Joe.

Are you a Joe? Say it proud. Leave it on every goddamn newspaper comment section and online forum. Let these pressroom and online thugs know you won't stay silent when they try to destroy the life of a private citizen for speaking his mind -- because for every one of them, there are a million Joe Wurzelbachers. And for that we should all be thankful.

iamjoe.jpg

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:04 AM

October 17, 2008

The look. Of love. Is in. Your eyes.

thelookoflove.jpg

She just can't get enough of that McCain, huh?

As Lisa Schiffren points out, that's quite a lot of ice Couric is wearing. It might be worth more than the business Joe Wurzelbacher was thinking about starting, before he became Public Enemy #1 for listening to Obama espouse socialism. I sure hope Couric and her ilk lecture the plumber some more about how he should do his patriotic duty by subsidizing other people's failures.

They'd better do it before Joe's public beheading Monday night, though. Olbermann and Matthews are anchoring MSNBC's primetime hatchet-to-hatchet coverage. Take a drink every time Olby addresses Joe's head on a pike as "Sir."

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:20 PM

A completely objective preview of Election Night...

...from the totally unbiased and nonpartisan Politico.com:

Network news executives said they are preparing for an unusual Election Night challenge: How to be honest with the audience, and still keep them tuned in, if the race between John McCain and Barack Obama is effectively decided before most Americans have finished dinner.

After two elections in which the suspense went far into the evening (and, in the case of 2000, for 36 days afterward), the executives said they are contemplating how to manage their newscasts in the event of an Obama blowout — in which the Democrat’s victory would be obvious while polls are still open in most of the country.

Please, please, please, let's see more stories like this one. This stuff is perfect.

You see, network news executives, we all love you. We all think you're doing a great job. And we certainly wouldn't want to do anything that might disrupt your plans on Election Night, like voting for the guy you're convinced will lose big.

Come to think of it, why should you even cover Election Night? It's a formality anyway. A foregone conclusion. Why not just start calling him "President Obama"? That will definitely convince us that it's all over and there's no point even voting. We'll just sit here and do as you tell us, because you're smart and we're dumb.

If you can't trust a TV news executive, who can you trust?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:50 PM

You down with JTP? Yeah, you know me!

According to Rand Simberg, the Obama camp is actually complaining that McCain didn't -- and this is real, they're actually saying this -- that McCain didn't vet Joe Wurzelbacher.

Remember: Obama is supposed to be the frontrunner.

One of Rand's commenters tries to imagine what this vetting process might entail:

McCain Rep: Excuse me, sir, but I need to ask you a few questions.

Joe the Plumber: Why? Are you the police?

MR: No, sir, I'm with the McCain campaign. I need to ask you a few questions, on the off chance that you are playing football in your front yard when Senator Obama decides to make an unscheduled stop to try to talk you into voting for him.

Read the rest, as they say.

P.S. Another reason these media creeps hate Joe is the same reason they hate bloggers. He embarrassed them by doing the job they used to do. Without even asking permission.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:33 PM

Did William Ayers babysit Obama's kids?

I don't know. But it's at least as solid a lead as, just to pick an example at random, "Sarah Palin is Trig's grandma." Which the NYT and CNN and everybody else ran with. It's at least as solid a lead as, just to pick another example at random, "Joe the Plumber isn't even registered to vote." Neither one was true. But then, that's not really the point of publishing these rumors, is it?

You opened this gate, gatekeepers. Don't blame us for walking through it.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:23 PM

But Joe "'Jobs' is a three-letter word" Biden is the smart one, right?

Sarah Palin addresses a West Chester, OH crowd and reminds them that no matter what ACORN says, electoral fraud is actually wrong:

"You deserve to know," Palin told thousands surrounding her stage in a suburban community park. "This group needs to learn that you here in Ohio won't let them turn the Buckeye State into the ACORN State."

That story was posted 10 minutes ago, but so far nobody in the Obama camp has pointed out that she probably didn't write that line herself.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:20 PM

Here's how to respond to the trolls and Axelturfers defaming Joe Wurzelbacher in a comment thread near you

"Joe didn't pay his taxes!"

"Joe isn't licensed to own a wrench!"

"Joe's balding and he shaves his head to hide it!"

Or whatever else they're throwing at him by the time you read this. Looks like David Axelrod's industrious little astroturfing creeps are out in force, having taken a brief sabbatical after their thorough failure to destroy Sarah Palin. Now they're trying to ruin a plumber from Ohio because not only didn't he genuflect in Obama's presence, but he accidentally managed to do something almost nobody else has done, or even bothered to try: He made Obama tell the truth.

Well, here's how to stop these Joe-viators in their tracks. Here's what they can't answer:

"Well spotted, my friend. So let's say, for the sake of argument, that you're right. What have you proven? How does that change Obama's answer to Joe's question? What do you hope to achieve with this?"

The truth, of course, is that Obama outed himself as a socialist in front of the whole world, McCain called him on it, and now Obama's supporters are terrified because they know most Americans don't want a socialist president. So they're lashing out at Joe. It really is a Two Minutes Hate, except Obama hasn't given them a time limit.

But they can't actually say any of that. They have to come up with some kind of excuse that their dim little minds perceive as plausible. So have some fun. Toy with their cognitive dissonance.

Enjoy.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:01 PM

Can't you just get that kid in Tennessee to do it?

Want Palin's e-mails? That'll be $15 million

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:50 AM

I don't normally do "fisking," but in this case I'll make an exception

larryrohter.jpgThe New York Times lives up to its glorious reputation today with a hard-hitting investigative piece by Larry Rohter (pictured) on Joe "Enemy of the State" Wurzelbacher:

One week ago, Joe Wurzelbacher was just another working man living in a modest house outside Toledo, Ohio, and thinking about how to buy the plumbing business where he works. But when he stopped Senator Barack Obama during a visit to his block last weekend to complain about taxes, he set himself on a path to becoming America’s newest media celebrity — and as such suddenly found himself facing celebrity-level scrutiny.

Yep, that's why he's being covered in the NYT: Because he complained about taxes. I'm pretty sure he's the first person in American history to do so, but keep in mind that fact-checking isn't really my cup of tea.

Joe's question is what's newsworthy. Their interest in the story has very little to do with Obama's answer.

As it turns out, Joe the Plumber, as he became nationally known when Senator John McCain made him a theme at Wednesday’s final presidential debate, may work in the plumbing business, but he is not a licensed plumber.

Did you get that, America? And he dares to call himself a plumber! Of course, it's unclear at this point whether he actually needs a license to do the sort of work he does in Ohio. Or what it has to do with, well, anything. But still. Hey, isn't this how they caught the Unabomber?

By the way, let's set the record straight: He didn't become known as Joe the Plumber because McCain brought him up in the debate. He became known as Joe the Plumber because Obama couldn't remember his last name after McCain had just said it. (Yeah, McCain mispronounced it, but at least he made the attempt. It's kind of an unusual name.)

His full name is Samuel J. Wurzelbacher. And he owes back taxes, too, public records show. The premise of his complaint to Mr. Obama about taxes may also be flawed, according to tax analysts. Contrary to what Mr. Wurzelbacher asserted and Mr. McCain echoed, neither his personal taxes nor those of the business where he works are likely to rise if Mr. Obama’s tax plan were to go into effect, they said.

"Tax analysts." Do they have names? Credentials? Ahhh, who cares!

Also note that at this point in the story, the NYT has done a more thorough job investigating Joe Wurzelbacher than they've done with William Ayers.

None of that is likely to matter to those who see Mr. Wurzelbacher as a symbol of the entrepreneurial spirit they hope to foster with tax cuts, but even Mr. Wurzelbacher said he was shocked by all the attention.

"None of that," meaning the opinions of these anonymous tax analysts who say Joe has nothing to worry about. Anonymous tax analysts have feelings too, you dirty right-wingers.

And Joe may or may not be a symbol of entrepreneurial spirit. Sure, he says he wants to start his own business in the field he's spent years making a career in, but what does that really prove? The NYT wouldn't want to express an opinion on it one way or another.

Just five days ago, Mr. Wurzelbacher, 34, lived in anonymity in Holland, Ohio, a single father who, as he said on national television, worked all day and came home to fix dinner and help his son, 13, with his homework.

But he became the hero of conservatives and Republicans when he stopped Mr. Obama, who was campaigning on his street, and asked whether he believed in the American dream. Mr. Wurzelbacher said he was concerned about having to pay higher taxes as an owner of a small business.

He stopped Obama in the street? Holy racism, he tried to mug Obama!

No, actually, Obama approached him. The One was gracing The Many with his presence by going around door to door in Joe's neighborhood. Because Obama is A Man Of The People (Who Do Not Displease Him With Their Effrontery). Joe was in his yard playing football with his kid, and Obama saw a photo op. Whoops. So get it straight: Joe was visited by the Messiah, not the other way around.

"I'm getting ready to buy a company that makes $250,000 to $280,000 a year," he told Mr. Obama. "Your new tax plan is going to tax me more, isn't it?"

That encounter wound up on YouTube and led to appearances on the Fox News Channel, interviews with conservative bloggers and a New York Post editorial, all of whom seized on a small part of Mr. Obama’s long reply. "I think that when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody," Mr. Obama had said.

See, they didn't quote the whole thing! They just focused on the "spread the wealth" part, and the "I want to take your money and give it to people who are less successful than you because otherwise it's not fair" part. As if it's somehow relevant that Obama revealed to the whole world that he's a socialist. Who cares that he looked one of his inferiors in the eye and told the peasant he doesn't deserve the money he earns?

No, those Faux Noise creeps took Obama out of context. Namely: He's a boring socialist.

There's more -- almost 1,000 words in all, because it's just that big of a story -- but you get the idea. Cut to the big finish:

In his interview with Ms. Couric, Mr. Wurzelbacher, who voted Republican in Ohio's March primary

Say, how did Couric vote in the New York primary?

said that his encounter with Mr. Obama had been prompted by his desire "to ask one of these guys a question, and really corner them and get them to answer a question for once instead of tap dancing around it. And unfortunately I asked the question, but I still got a tap dance."

He added, "He was almost as good as Sammy Davis Jr."

Get the picture, America? That's right: Joe the Plumber just called Obama a Jew.

Best NYT story since Jayson Blair left to pursue other opportunities. Clear some shelf space for your Pulitzer, Larry.

P.S. It might be presumptuous, but I hereby propose we change "fisking" to "Rohter-rooting."

P.P.S. The whole "He's not a licensed plumber!" non sequitur is really fantastic. So, if you happen to be standing in front of Obama when he publicly reveals his socialism, what does the media do? Demands to see your papers. That's just delicious, is what that is.

P.P.P.S. Thanks to Mr. Steyn for the mention.

Joe Wurzelbacher, American Hero!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 05:06 AM

Remember how Obama insisted in the debate that 100% of McCain's ads have been negative?

It's 100% not true, of course, but when has that ever stopped Obama? Keep in mind that this is the guy who broke his months-long embargo of The O'Reilly Factor in an attempt to upstage McCain on the night of his acceptance speech, just one week after McCain put out this ad:

Grrrr, crazy old McCain is goin' negative again! What a right-wing hatemonger, huh? Patterico has more examples of this big meanie being mean.

But I wonder if Obama really knew it was untrue when he said it, or if he just has no grasp of reality whatsoever. Could he actually be such a delusional egomaniac that he thinks 100% of McCain's ads are negative because 0% of them say "Barack Obama for President"? That, kids, is what we call a rhetorical question.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:30 AM

Are you tired of "conservative" pundits laying down for (if not actively cheerleading for) a socialist because he's pretty and he talks nice and he's never ever shot a moose? Sick of their whining when we don't praise them for their brave iconoclasm?

Then read this.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:07 AM

October 16, 2008

But I don't mind, because soon they’ll all be out of that three-letter word: j-o-b-s*

From the Washington Post's endorsement of... do I even need to tell you?

The choice is made easy in part by Mr. McCain’s disappointing campaign, above all his irresponsible selection of a running mate who is not ready to be president.

Did they endorse Kerry? You bet your Botox they did. So... an inexperienced running mate was no problem in '04, but it'll lose you their endorsement in '08?

That is quite some brainteaser.

*Here.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:24 PM

My favorite comment from the Daily Kos post where they give out Joe Wurzelbacher's home address

I only skimmed the gazillion comments, so it's possible they're not all dimwitted fascists. But this one grabbed me (and no, I'm not linking to the thread; if you need Joe's address, find it yourself):

Get this crap off of here. You've got the ex-wife's address.

Let's get just a little smart folks.

by briefer on Thu Oct 16, 2008 at 10:11:11

Note that the problem isn't posting a private citizen's personal info as part of a politically motivated harassment campaign. No, the problem is that it might not be the right address. Although who knows, maybe Joe's ex-wife is an enemy of the state too? Better dig up a little dirt on her as well, just to be on the safe side. That would be the smart thing to do.

Here's my second favorite:

I am sick and f****** tired of being told that, because I live in California (used to be SF), that I am somehow LESS of an American than these "average Joe" types.

Every time you scratch the surface of one of these media stereotypes in real life, they are scum.

I am a patriotic American who loves the Constitution, ideals of freedom and succeeding on merit.

And I'm sick, as an educated, gay, urban-dwelling American, of being unfavorably compared to these fake, lying, wife-beating, tax-cheating, racist, immigrant-hating frauds.

F*** him. F*** them. It's my America, too.

by Penman on Thu Oct 16, 2008 at 10:23:51 AM PDT

Yet another reason not to vote for Obama: If he wins, it'll make these "citizen journalists" angry, insane idiots happy for a day or two.

P.S. In the comments at Patterico, Perfect Sense lives up to his or her name:

The "newsmen" who have been "exposing" Joe the Plumber must be even greater frauds and liars [than he is, purportedly] as none of them have "journalism licenses" and none are recognized by any state or federal agency as journalists. Some may work for companies with a business license, but I doubt if any individuals practicing journalism have licenses. Just think, the state and lefties expect higher standards from a plumber than a journalist.
Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:21 PM

Hey, what happens if you ask Obama an honest question and he accidentally gives you an honest answer?

First Obama makes fun of you and calls you a liar:

(thx, ace)

And then his supporters try to get you fired:

Wurzelbacher registered as an apprentice with the Ohio State Apprenticeship Council in November 2003, according to Dennis Evans, spokesman with the Department of Job and Family Services. Records show his training, which was sponsored by A & W Newell Co. of Toledo, should have been wrapped last year.

“We don’t have a record of completion,” Evans said. “All we know is that he registered in the program and has gone through to the point where we should have record of completion, but we don’t.”

And that’s not the only record that’s missing from Wurzelbacher’s file. He doesn’t have a plumbing license required by the city of Toledo to practice, according to a staffer with the Toledo Division of Building Inspection. Wurzelbacher, who now works for Newell Plumbing & Heating Co., said the owner, Al Newell, has a plumbing license and that “because he works for someone else, he doesn’t need a license.”

But even that’s not true, according to the Toledo Division of Building Inspection. Wurzelbacher can’t legally do plumbing work without a license, regardless of his boss’s certification.

A staff person with the Toledo Division of Building Inspection told On Call this afternoon that her division will contact Wurzelbacher to notify him that he can’t work without a license.

“We’re trying to track him down,” she said.

(thx, jimmie)

Is it just me, or have we seen more vetting of an Ohio plumber in the last 2 days than we've seen of Obama's mentor William Ayers all year? (Not to mention Obama himself!) Both Bill and Joe are embarrassing to Obama because they've given us glimpses of his true nature, and yet only one of them is being put through the wringer. Only one of them has to fear for his job. Weird, huh?

Let that be a lesson to you, America. Got something to say about Obama? Want to ask him a question he's not really ready for? You'd better keep your mouth shut, you racists. Unless you like being "vetted" by an angry mob. And Obama will in turn question your integrity in front of the whole world, while denying any responsibility for the consequences.

Keep it to yourself. Or else.

It was bad enough when they went after Sarah Palin's family. Now they're going after an ordinary citizen who isn't even running for office, just because he had the nerve to look Obama in the eye and say, "I'd like an explanation." Without kissing his feet even once.

These people are insane. We have to stand up to their seething hatred, their complete lack of scruples, their need to win at all costs. And we have to vote against the guy who they're so desperate to elect that they'll try to ruin a hard-working, tax-paying American just for asking truth of power.

P.S. If you have any doubt that John McCain is a fundamentally decent man, however you may disagree with him, then consider this. When he taped Letterman tonight -- and thank God that baby finally got his bottle! -- McCain actually apologized to Joe for what's happening to him, even though it's not McCain's fault. He said sorry on behalf of Obama and Obama's supporters, in the media and on the Internet and in the local government of Toledo, who are trying to destroy Joe because their savior screwed up in front of him.

John McCain truly does reach across the aisle, even to those who deserve it least.

McCain/Palin '08.

P.P.S. And no, I'm not smiling right now. When you go after a man's livelihood for asking Obama a question, I lose my sense of humor about your miserable desperation.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:07 PM

Maybe those t-shirts were misprinted?

Maybe they were supposed to say "Sarah Palin is a contributor"?

Accidental(?) adult language ahead:

(thx, ace)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:08 PM

I'm sick of polls, as you might have guessed

I'm done letting them affect my opinion of the campaign one way or another. But as a public service -- if you're ready to throw yourself out a window because of how McCain's been polling, or if you're a super-genius who screams at me, "How can you ignore the polls, you dummy?" -- look at this. It doesn't make me any more happy than the bad poll results make me sad, but I know a lot of you have different religious beliefs and I respect that. If you live or die by the polls, you can come down off the ledge for one more day. Or, if you're on the other side, feel free to go out there.

And if you're still depressed about McCain or, on the other side, seething with rage at my "intellectual dishonesty," look at this.

Me? I'm fine. Optimistic, even. No matter what the polls say. I do feel bad for Joe, having to go through this "vetting proccess" because he asked a politician a question and got an uncharacteristically honest answer. But if Obama's such a shoo-in, why do they have to go after a plumber? Why do they sound so... concerned?

Nothing lifts your spirits quite like the stench of your opponent's fear. And right now I'm smiling.

P.S. Let me put it this way: If the polls are making you so discouraged that you're planning on staying home on election day, you shouldn't let them. You should do what you think is right, even if a bunch of Axelturfers tell you it's futile. But if good poll numbers make you feel better, keep you from giving up, that's awesome. That's the main thing. One way or the other, don't give up.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:52 PM

Ha ha, the old guy looks silly!

smirk_and_quirk.jpg

I definitely don't want that one lowering my taxes!

Thanks to Sean Collins for finding the precedent. And that's not quite a smirk on the other guy's face... Am I allowed to say "face"?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:14 PM

Which is a worse pronunciation?

"Wurzelberger" or "Theplumber"? At least McCain tried to remember Joe's last name. Obama doesn't care, as long as it's spelled right on Joe's tax return.

I get the feeling that the character assassination Joe's about to endure will rival or surpass what they've done to Palin. He has to pay, because he scares them.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:51 PM

Did Diane Sawyer really just say she's fine with paying more taxes?

Sounds like it to me:

"Well if people making $250,000 should not be taxed additionally — by the way, it's 3% from 36% to 39% under Senator Obama's plan. If those people should not be taxed additionally, even though they're in the top 5% of America, what about people who make $1 million? Or $5 million?"

Or $12 million? You first, Diane.

The millionaires don't think the plumbers are paying enough taxes.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:21 PM

On the other hand:

"You're dumb!"

If your guy won the debate... why so furious?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:00 PM

Maybe he's been watching the news all these months and thought it was futile because they all say Obama's going to win Leftosphere talking point strangled in its crib

(Update: Joe is indeed registered to vote. The diligent truth-seekers who are digging up dirt on a plumber from Ohio didn't find him on the voter rolls because there was a typo in his last name. But don't take it so hard, guys: you can still safely discount his opinion because of his party affiliation.)

Is Joe Wurzelbacher -- or as Obama calls him because he can't remember the guy's last name, Joe the Plumber -- registered to vote? Maybe not. But he's still allowed to ask questions of our leaders, and the people who want to be our leaders. And he sure will have to pay higher taxes if Obama gets what he wants.

Is it now okay to dig through voter records and see if Letterman is registered? Matt Damon? Four-fifths of The View? The cast of Gossip Girl? Hell, all but like 12 people in Hollywood who can't shut up about how great Obama is? Yeah, I'm sure somebody will get right on that.

Sneak peek at an Obama administration: If you're a working guy who dares to ask The One a direct, honest question about an issue that directly affects your life, and his answer causes problems for him because it accidentally reveals the beliefs he's trying to hide from America -- in this case, outright socialism -- look out. His oppo researchers and the media (pardon the redundancy) will do whatever they can to hurt you. To shut you up.

You will be assimilated.

P.S. The more I think about it... Yeah, if this is the new standard, then I want to know the registration status of anybody who criticizes or so much as questions McCain and Palin. That should be the first followup question: "Are you registered to vote?" And if not: "Then why should anybody care about your opinion?"

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:06 AM

I like people who agree with me

Doc Paul writes:

For lord's sakes, what the effenheimer are the talking heads talking about? McCain killed tonight -- on substance, on style, on the zingers ("If you wanted to run against George Bush, you should have run four years ago"). Smirking jug-ears looked irritated and flustered. Did McCain miss some opportunities? Of course, but not too many. He was on tonight, and I wish this was the guy who had showed up at the last two debates. Anyway, thanks for allowing me to think that I am not alone.

You're welcome, but you'd better make fun of Obama's ears while you can. If he wins, such hate speech will be dealt with harshly.

Oh, and... "killed"? Somebody call the Secret Service!

P.S. Ezra Klein and Matt Yglesias, AKA Jim Henson's Pundit Babies, both think McCain lost. Just further proof that he won.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:28 AM

October 15, 2008

"McCain didn't bring up the topic I wanted him to bring up, or at least not to my satisfaction, so I say he lost"

It's kind of like a kid on Christmas morning, surrounded by a huge pile of toys, whimpering because he didn't get the one he really wanted.

Do you want your toys taken away? Keep it up.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:04 PM

Once again, Mark Levin says what I've been trying to say, better than I could say it

McCain is doing something tonight that not only he hasn't done before, but neither have the media — he is holding Obama to account for his actual record of comments and actions, and he is stating his position in terms that, IMHO, can and I believe will resonate with many Americans. And he has been doing this from the start of the debate. He's not going to change his position on some issues where we conservatives disagree with him tonight, but he is scoring big.
Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:38 PM

Paging Andrew Sullivan: How did Palin intimidate them?

Secret Service says "Kill him" allegation unfounded

P.S. Didn't Obama bring this up in the debate? The lie, I mean, not the facts. I'm pretty sure he did.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:24 PM

Here's what you should say when Katie Couric asks how you're going to vote:

"You go first."

Joe probably didn't think of it until after.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:12 PM

Okay, so can you stop saying McCain doesn't want to win?

Thanks in advance.

P.S. If Obama had dropped trou and sprayed arugula juice all over the stage, his poll numbers would've gone up. What are you going to believe, a poll, or your own eyes and ears and mind?

I just ran a poll of one: Me. And I just asked a pundit to analyze it: Me. I saw what I saw, and McCain won on the issues. He won on character. He won on not letting the Obama campaign's cynical accusations of racism go unremarked. Most of all, he won on being present in the room, unlike the remote-controlled, talking-point-powered smirkbot.

McCain won this debate. Will it help him? Not if the people who are desperate to see him fail, AKA the Deathbed Media, have anything to say about it. You already knew what they were going to say even before the debate. (Hell, they should have leaked their talking points.) It doesn't change what I saw tonight. McCain was focused, he was specific, he called Obama on his crap. He was engaged.

He got inside Obama's head, you could tell. And unlike when Palin did the same thing six weeks ago today, we got to watch Obama's reaction on live TV. By the end of the debate, only one of them was smiling.

And it wasn't The One.

P.P.S. Almost forgot! In the liveblog I promised to keep a count of Obama's annoying facial tics, which were more or less pronounced depending on how big the truth he was hearing from McCain. It's not a complete count, since I was typing away and approving clever comments and such, but I tallied: 8 smirks, 2 smirks with chuckle chasers, 2 sarcastic smiles, 1 smirk with headshake, 1 not-quite-a-smirk (by a nerve ending or two), 1 Clintonesque frown, and a plumber in a pear tree. McCain got a bit smirky himself toward the end, but Obama clearly won on that front. It's kind of appropriate that the debate stage looked like a set from Star Trek, because Obama was Capt. Smirk.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:32 PM

The last presidential debate in U.S. history?

If you believe some people. Sounds a bit paranoid to me. Everybody thinks they know what McCain should do, or isn't going to do, and they think they know what will happen if he does or doesn't. Here's an idea: You might not know as much as you think you do. And that goes for you too, Me.

I'm choosing to go into it with a sense of detached concern. Maybe I'm just being obstinate, but the more they insist "McCain needs a game-changer tonight!," the more desperate they sound to me. Try not to sputter it out in such strained, high-pitched tones, you frontrunners you. Yeah, you're addressing the batter. He should swing when you want him to swing. We get it.

Commence the livebloggination!


Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:43 PM

"It is strange that API has chosen to support the racists against my husband"

The speaker is Michelle Obama. API is African Press International. The "racists" are... well, you. If you dare to stand in the way of Obama's ascendancy.

She also thinks you're "evil."

That's right: If you ask Obama a question he doesn't want to answer, you are an evil racist.

How does that make you feel? Are you irritated by how baseless and desperate it is? Do you feel helpless against such a cynical attempt to stifle your dissent, knowing that any denial will just be construed as further proof?

Or is the word "racist" starting to lose some of its power? If everything is racist, what's so special about it in this case? Doesn't it become, at a certain point, funny? Isn't Michelle Obama kind of funny?

Update: Hoax? In a sane world, I'd think all the other false accusations of racism over the last couple of weeks were hoaxes. They weren't, but maybe this one really is.

Update: And please note that I haven't deleted or substantively altered this post because something I said might make me look bad (or, depending on your point of view, worse). I won't try to change history. Just trying to set an example for the Obama campaign.

Update: Whoops!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:32 AM

Poll Says Up Is Down

NYT: Poll Says McCain Hurts His Bid by Using Attacks

Questioning the record of a man who could be the next president: Personal attack.
Questioning the uterus of a woman who could be the next vice president: Vetting.

These guys are not even pretending anymore. They've stacked the deck right in front of our eyes. If they can turn a few jerks at a rally into Birth of a Nation II, why should we believe their polls or their interpretation of them? That headline might as well be Poll Says McCain Hurts His Bid by Running Against the Next President.

They're just trying to get us to stay home on Nov. 4. Well, I can't speak for anybody else, but it's having the exact opposite effect on me. The more they try to make me feel hopeless, the more hope I feel.

On the very slight chance that somebody in the McCain campaign is reading this: Please don't listen to these polls. Don't be afraid to keep raising the character issue. It is perfectly legitimate to ask who has influenced Obama, where his ideas come from. And the resulting attacks and accusations of racism are a sign of weakness, not strength. The more you damage Obama's credibility, the harder they have to twist the truth until it's something they can work with. And more and more people are noticing.

The media has lost control. Don't let them get it back.

P.S. And as for whether to bring Wright into it? I'd say we've learned a few things about Obama since the last time Wright came up in the conversation. It's a lot tougher now to claim it was an isolated incident. A 20-year isolated incident at that. No, Wright is part of the puzzle. Don't be afraid to show people where he fits.

P.P.S. And tackle the accusations of racism head-on. It's not racist to talk about your opponent's record. And it's definitely not racist to point out how cynical he is for resorting to the accusation. For God's sake, they called you a racist for saying "that one." They think you're a racist for not conceding already. Why not just tell the truth and let them keep seething at their inability to honestly engage it?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:29 AM

And yet the story isn't about ACORN

African-American Enthusiasm Could Tip Scales Toward Obama

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:11 AM

It's appropriate that Obama got tripped up by a plumber*

If you're trying to win a guy's vote, why would you tell him he doesn't deserve the money he's earned?

Why should our friend Joe, who works hard and takes risks (in an entrepreneurial sense) and accepts responsibility for his own life, have to subsidize people who don't? Shouldn't he be able to decide whether or not he wants to give to charity? Shouldn't he be able to decide which ones to give it to? Who does Obama think he is to tell Joe how to run his life?

Can we please stop pretending that the second-greatest community organizer in history isn't a socialist?

*'Cause he's the dirtiest presidential candidate since Nixon.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:10 AM

October 14, 2008

This point about ACORN's voter registration fraud needs to be repeated as far and as wide as possible

Allahpundit:

It's not really voter impersonation that’s the big worry, it's the logistical nightmare of poll workers having to sift so many bogus registration forms that bona fide registrations can't be processed in a timely manner.

It's a sign of the times that we actually have to explain why voter registration fraud is bad, but that's why. They're trying to disrupt the entire process. They're trying to undermine our faith in the electoral system. Why aren't they in jail yet?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:29 PM

You'll never guess who's defending William Ayers

Academia! Somebody named Jack Stripling at Inside Higher Ed wrote a whole long thing about college professors supporting him, but you really only need to read the first paragraph. That's as far as I bothered with it, anyway:

William Ayers has been trashed by conservative pundits and labeled "an unrepentant domestic terrorist" by Sarah Palin, the Republican vice presidential nominee, but the University of Illinois at Chicago professor has garnered the support of a growing number of peers who admire his scholarship and see the attacks on him as an affront to academic freedom.

This is a pretty complex issue, but I'll try to break it down:

  1. The reason we call William Ayers a terrorist is because he co-founded a group that employed terror tactics in service of spreading their political views. In other words, they blew stuff up (including several of their own members, fortunately), robbed banks, killed cops, and tried to kill soldiers, all while telling themselves they were doing it to stop the Vietnam War.
  2. The reason we call him a domestic terrorist is because he did these things to his own countrymen, within his own country.
  3. The reason we call him an unrepentant domestic terrorist is because he has not repented.

Of course, this "trashing" makes sense only if you believe that words mean things. So it's no surprise that the really really smart fellers ain't havin' it.

Oh, and there's now a supportbillayers.org. (Which I'm sure is a completely spontaneous reaction and has absolutely nothing to do with David Axelturf.) Check out the list of professors and teachers who've put their names on the online petition supporting the unsupportable. If you see your alma mater represented there, it might be something to remember the next time they hit you up for a donation.

(thx, doubleplusundead)

P.S. If Ayers is such a great guy, such a productive member of society, such a wronged innocent... why isn't he defending himself? He did that dopey cartoon last month, but has he made any sort of public statement since then? I'm sure I would have seen it. He's never been shy about reminiscing over the good old days. Until now. Talk to us, Bill!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:00 PM

Mark Levin is talking about Saul Alinsky on tonight's show

Alinsky is the father of "community organizing," AKA socialist rabble-rousing, and the author of the far-left handbook Rules for Radicals. Obama has been a disciple of Alinsky for his entire adult life, and the tactics we're seeing right now can be traced directly back to Alinsky. Listen to Levin live (6-8 EST) or download the archive of tonight's show here.

And now, feel free to point out that Obama was just a kid when Alinksy died...

P.S. Levin devoted his entire first hour to the Alinsky/Obama connection. If you want to understand what's going on right now, why so many people are trying to convince you that everything's hopeless and the only one who can fix it is Obama, I highly recommend listening to his 10/14 show.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:13 PM

Next up: Grand Theft ACORN

obama-on-xbox-360.jpg

That billboard does not exist. This is a screenshot from the Xbox game Burnout Paradise. And yes, it's an official campaign ad. Good to see The One is putting his ad dollars (thanks, Doodad Pro and Good Will!) where they count: products purchased by people who are too young and/or too baked to vote.

In response, the McCain campaign is currently negotiating with the makers of Lincoln Logs.

No details yet on the emissions standards Obama plans to impose on virtual automobiles.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:07 PM

Nobody at that Palin rally yelled that they wanted to kill Obama

Update: Now it turns out that nobody at that rally yelled that they wanted to kill anybody. It simply did not happen.

Patterico explains. They were yelling it about the person Palin had just mentioned: William Ayers. Which still isn't nice, no matter how many people the Weather Underground terrorized and killed, no matter how much ugly anti-American rhetoric they spewed. But it doesn't require an investigation by the Secret Service. That is, assuming Ayers doesn't still have his hand up the small of Obama's back.

But wait, that means the great Dana Milbank...

milbankorange.jpg

...was unclear. Certainly he'll have to set the record straight in the pages of the Washington Post, now that all these people have taken what he's written and used it to concoct huge lies about the political party he can't stand. After all, his reputation is on the line, isn't it?

Ha ha, just kidding. The WaPo probably gave him a raise.

P.S. And even if that guy had called for the death of a politician he doesn't like, would he really be setting a precedent?

killbushshirt2.jpg

kill_bush.jpg

kill_bush_sights.jpg

busheffigy.jpg

death_of_a_president__dvd__large_.jpg

Wouldn't make it right, of course, but it would force all the astroturfers in all the blog comments to explain why the "kill Bush" crap is protected political speech.

"But Palin was whipping up the crowd into a murderous frenzy!" No she wasn't. She dared to talk about Obama's years-long, if not decades-long, alliance with a terrorist. (And Ayers is a terrorist. He doesn't think what he did was wrong, and he won't rule out doing it again. He's no more a "former terrorist," or even a "former radical," than David Berkowitz is a "former murderer." Actually, that's not fair to the Son of Sam, who is actually paying for his crimes.) A handful of people, out of a crowd of thousands, went over the line with it. That's all that happened, and it only seems to be a problem for the media when the crowd is Republican.

All these lying, unethical pundits and reporters are trying to make you believe that not only did Palin hear that guy, but she assumed he was talking about Obama and she approved. Why would they say that if they had any regard for the truth?

Update: Media, leftosphere, Obama himself: "Sorry about that." Just kidding, they'd never actually say that.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:43 AM

October 13, 2008

"Now we finally know what community organizers do, huh?"

That's what Palin should say during the ACORN section of her stump speech. Well, that's what I would say, anyway. Although I don't think I could fit into those heels.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:27 PM

Andy Kaufman speaks from the grave to address Obama's plans for "income redistribution"

First, watch this:

Now watch this. Andy gets to it at the 3:20 mark:

Dear Obama: No thenk you veddy much.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:23 PM

Note to everybody who can't stop moaning that it's all over and we're going to end up in Room 101 with rat-cages strapped to our faces

Now!What you're feeling right now is not natural. It's the result of prolonged exposure to harmful radiation from a highly toxic, media-infected presidential campaign. Symptoms may include nausea, sweating, constant checking of poll results, dizziness, fever, irritation at glaring double standards, coughing, Googling, loss of appetite, bewilderment at a world seemingly gone mad, vaginal dryness, and Drudge.

Fortunately, this condition, known as Allahpecia, can be cured quickly and easily: Dr. Jim prescribes 24 hours of cold turkey.

Read a book. Rake some leaves. Watch that Netflix DVD that's been sitting on top of the TV for a week. Get some actual work done. If you're really jonesing, you can even resort to talking face-to-face with another human being. (If it drifts into politics, though... split!) The important thing is to avoid all of this crap for one whole day. It'll still be here when you get back.

You can do it. You have to do it. Doctor's orders.

But before you go. Really, truly, seriously. If you think that they're right? That this is all over? Listen: They are trying to psyche you out. Don't be too proud to admit it's not your idea.

There's no shame in falling prey to this vicious, heartless, relentless emotional assault. It's tough to avoid it. Day in and day out, they're trying to wear you down. But they can't make you a victim unless you let them. Are you gonna give them the satisfaction? Are you gonna go out like a Frum? A Brooks? A Buckley? A... for God's sake, a Hitchens???

Not me. No way. It's not over, for one simple reason:

That's what they want.

Now get outta here, you knucklehead. See ya tomorrow.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:05 PM

Whether you love Sarah Palin or hate her...

[totally not safe for work]
...you never saw Cheney inspire anything like this. Unless you want to count Lemon Party. (If you don't know what that is, DO NOT GOOGLE IT.)
[/totally not safe for work]

P.S. They keep giving me good solid reasons...

Tina Fey On Sarah Palin: "If She Wins...I'm Leaving Earth"

That's the headline. But underneath she says:

"Election time is always good for [SNL] and this is a bonkers election," she said. "And that lady is a media star. She is a fascinating person, she's very likeable. She's fun to play, and the two bits with Amy [Poehler], that was super fun," Fey says.

Sounds like Lorne told her to cool it with the ystericalhay etoricrhay.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:39 AM

But McCain and Palin should have to answer for every idiot on our side, right?

Obama's official site: Yes We (µn+. Think it might be some kind of coded language?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:52 AM

I get the feelin'...

...Mark Levin's show tonight is gonna be a keeper.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:30 AM

The latest anti-Palin lie: She's being investigated by the Secret Service

For asking what's up with William Ayers, of course. As far as I can tell, this latest piece of horseflop started with this dopey HuffPo post saying Palin should be investigated by the Secret Service for daring to question The One. And now that's being spread by other silly geese as "Palin is being investigated by the Secret Service." These no-goodniks should go climb a tree.

I apologize for the harsh language, but that's the very first thing that pops up on Google Blog Search right now, and it's kind of irritating. What, the other 70-80 unsubstatiated rumors about her over the last six weeks weren't enough?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 05:11 AM

Fair enough

Just got this from that quixoticlife guy:

Re: Palin t-shirt

Hi Jim,

I just thought I'd let you know that the "must be signed in to see this content" change on the Palin t-shirts pic was Flickr's doing, not mine. The t-shirts also weren't my doing, and I didn't agree with them, though I do acknowledge my mistake in posting it at all. If you're interested, I discuss it more at length here:

http://quixoticlife.net/palin

While I imagine we probably have different views, I hope you'll see this as an honest attempt to think out loud about these issues. I can't seem to figure out how to comment on your blog, but you're welcome to comment on mine. [Here you go. -- JT]

For the record -- since you might make legitimate assumptions given that I was at an anti-Palin event -- I'm not a Democrat, or a Republican. While I don't agree with McCain-Palin's stances, I haven't always been super-thrilled with Obama either. Just to give a little context.

--ivan (quixoticlife)

I just read his essay about it at the link, and while he could have left out the whole "wars of imperialism" boilerplate, he does apologize and he seems refreshingly sincere.

If I have one comment, it's about this:

I want to be clear that I don't think there's anything at all wrong with treating elected officials who directly and indirectly harm others with contempt. There were some great other images of Sarah Palin "lookalikes" that I would proudly display. I think the pressure from elected officials to be "courteous," "respectful," "civil" and "civilized" is simply a way to disempower ordinary people and disconnect them from the prospect of real social change.

I couldn't agree more. (Although I don't know how great they are, really. And if I had created those signs, I'd have proofread them first.) That's why I will continue to mock and oppose Obama's attempts to stifle criticism by labeling it as racism. Not that Ivan has done this, but the same principle he's talking about applies there too. If somebody makes a racist attack -- or in the case of these shirts, a sexist attack -- that's wrong. If somebody talks about Obama's record, and he and his supporters call the critic a racist for it, that's also wrong. I don't see Palin telling her critics they should shut up or else they're misogynists. And it has nothing to do with "social change" or "leaders who directly or indirectly harm others." It has to do with living in America.

But thanks to Ivan for recognizing his mistake and not trying to blame it on anybody else. Let him be an example to the moron who made the shirts in the first place, and to the "impartial" reporter who blithely passed along the dimwitted canard she's using to justify herself.

P.S. This response t-shirt is pretty funny. I'm sure somebody has already accused them of using "coded language." (thx, matt)

P.P.S. Mocking false accusations of racism is racist.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:36 AM

At least as qualified as Obama is for the same job, I'd say

Maybe you'll vote differently.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:04 AM

October 12, 2008

"Sarah Palin Is a-- You must be signed in to see this content"

That's odd. quixoticlife, the guy who posted that picture of the naughty naughty Palin t-shirts, has now taken it down. Well, here it is, if you really want to see it.

Warning: Completely in-bounds political speech ahead!

Well, they wouldn't have to call her that if she didn't insist on outshining Obama

If it was a good idea yesterday, why isn't it a good idea today?

P.S. "Reportedly." Diligent sourcing there, Ben...

P.P.S. quixoticlife explains.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:14 PM

You want to know why I'm not discouraged?

This is why I'm not discouraged:

Report Acknowledges Inaccuracies in 2004 Exit Polls

By Richard Morin and Claudia Deane
Washington Post Staff Writers
Thursday, January 20, 2005; Page A06

Interviewing for the 2004 exit polls was the most inaccurate of any in the past five presidential elections as procedural problems compounded by the refusal of large numbers of Republican voters to be surveyed led to inflated estimates of support for John F. Kerry, according to a report released yesterday by the research firms responsible for the flawed surveys.

Those damn Republicans, remembering that it's a private ballot. Ignoring the pollsters' First Amendment right to bother people fulfilling their civic duty, or else the news will have to find something else to yammer about all day and night. Fascists!

Apparently I'm the only one who remembers the coverage on Election Day '04. "Kerry wins! Kerry wins! It's all over for the Chimperor!" But then... not so much. You could see the newscasters' faces getting longer and longer as the evening drew to a close. Judy Woodruff was particularly hard-hit.

Does that mean I can guarantee the polls are wrong this time? That the pundits are as recto-cranially inverted as they were four years ago? Of course not. But I'm taking them with a grain of salt bigger than David Axelrod's forehead. The louder the Obamabots tell me it's all over, the more desperate they sound.

Uh-oh. Skepticism is racist.

Well, if I'm wrong, I hope I can be half as gracious in defeat as the other guys were last time.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:02 PM

I stand corrected

Jake Tapper highlights our bespectacled, underfed Philly friends with their clever, understatedly naughty t-shirts.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:43 PM

I'm going to start calling them the Deathbed Media

Every time I see another story about the looming collapse of the mainstream media -- ratings and circulation numbers sinking, layoffs pretty much every week, newspapers nationwide turning their backs on the Associated Press -- and then I look at the way most of them are treating the McCain/Palin campaign, it lends credence to the idea that they see this election as their last shot at making a difference. They've just got to get the evil Republicans out of office by any means necessary, and this might the the last time they're in any position to do so.

They've taken barely substantiated (if not outright unsubstantiated) reports about a few yahoos at a few rallies and whipped them up into Kristallnacht '08. All while ignoring pesky little details like, I dunno, firebombings and death threats and such from the other side. Is that really a sign of strength? Of confidence in a big, big win this Nov. 4?

These geniuses used to be a lot better at crafting a narrative, right? There was a time when they might have worried about ruining their own reputations in the process of advancing their political views. They'd at least make an effort to seem impartial. But if their whole industry is swirling down the toilet anyway, why keep pretending?

One last chance for glory before they check out for good.

The Deathbed Media.

P.S. Oceania did not boo Sarah Palin. Oceania has never booed Sarah Palin.

P.P.S. What's the missing word on the t-shirts of these Moby lookalikes? "Cutie"? "Cook"? "Country-music-loving lady"? Whatever it is, I'm sure it's not evidence of Obama supporters spreading hate about their opponents. Because that would definitely make the news.

P.P.P.S. Yes, those t-shirts are real. And it turns out they say a very bad word indeed. Well, it'd be a bad word if it were used against anybody but the most evil person in the history of the world, AKA Sarah Palin. You know, judging by the clammy pallor and emaciated bodies of these children, it's never sunny in Philadelphia.

P.P.P.P.S. Speaking of 1984, looks like these adorable little tots have read the CliffsNotes.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:29 PM

Open thread

Why not, it's Sunday. Thoughts? Attempts at thoughts?

NOTE: All demands for more and better posts that are not accompanied by cash donations will be ignored. As will the ones with donations, but at least I'll have the cash.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:23 AM | Comments (27)

Yes We Can (Pour Gasoline into a Glass Bottle, Light It on Fire, and Throw It at Your House)

kevinrobinson.jpgThe audacity of heat:

PORTLAND, Ore. - Authorities have arrested two men after a Molotov cocktail was thrown at a 4-foot by 8-foot campaign sign for Republican presidential candidate John McCain in a southeast Portland yard.

Karen Scrutton said she was asleep inside her home at 7956 S.E. 17th Ave. in the Sellwood neighborhood when she saw her sign go up in flames after 1 a.m....

Not long after, investigators picked up Leslie Brockette Leudtke and Kevin Carl Robinson, both 23. After interviewing them, the pair was charged with four counts each of manufacturing and possession of a destructive device. In addition, Leudtke was charged with a single count of reckless burning.

They didn't yell "Kill him!", or at least what a completely impartial observer would translate as "Kill him!", so it's okay.

I'm not excusing what these two men did. But can you really blame them, in light of the climate of fear John McCain has engendered with his racist code language like "that one" and "Senator Obama"? When you disenfranchise people by standing in the way of their religious beliefs, you can hardly complain when they firebomb your supporters. These young men just hope a little harmless terrorism will change a few minds about McCain.

Chin up, Leudtke and Robinson. Sure, you're in trouble now, but these pigs can't hold you down. There's an academic career and a sympathetic community of like-minded organizers waiting for you on the south side of Chicago.

(thx, JWF)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:55 AM

Is raising questions about Obama's birth certificate a smear campaign?

Here's why it's not. The circumstantial evidence for weirdness around this birth certificate is so great that legitimate questions arise -- questions anyone with common sense would ask. The answers to those questions can easily be provided. The Obama-Biden campaign can resolve this now with proof that Obama is a natural-born U.S. citizen, as is mandated for presidential candidates anyway.

The job of a press is to ask questions which have a basis in fact. See for yourself the full chronology here. See whether you are certain there are no legitimate questions worth asking. I am asking the Obama campaign to resolve a factual question which they must already have covered in the vetting process. After all, Obama is running for president, and he is constitutionally ineligible to do so if he wasn't born on U.S. territory. Therefore it is legitimate to ask questions about it. That's all.

(I'd say "Up yours, Andy," but it wouldn't exactly be an insult.)

P.S. But seriously, folks. Yes, I'm skeptical too. Not because I'd put it past Obama and his many, many helpers to try to cover it up. But because if it were true, McCain would be running against Hillary. How in the world would she sit on such a bombshell, let alone miss it altogether?

But hey, if they can raise questions about the circumstances of Trig’s birth, what's wrong with raising questions about Obama's? After all, Trig's not even running for president.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:17 AM

October 11, 2008

Do you have video editing skills, and copies of Malcolm X and The American President?

Over at Hot Air again (yeah, I really know how to go wild on my weekends), in the discussion about how our levelheaded, nonthreatening, middle-of-the-road friend Barack Obama is using Malcolm X's "hoodwinked and bamboozled" line in his stump speech:

Obama steals lines from a lot of lousy sources. For instance, he’s particularly fond of that Michael Douglas/Annette Bening movie “The American President” — he repeats lines from that “president’s” speech quite a bit...

AZCoyote on October 11, 2008 at 6:15 PM

Sounds like a chip off the ol' Biden! It might be interesting to see the quotes he's, um, "borrowed" alongside the originals, huh?

P.S. Ask and ye shall receive. Here are Barack and Malcolm side by side, along with some of the others to whom The One has "paid tribute":

And that's from last February. Wonder who he's "borrowed" from since then?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:49 PM

I can't help but notice...

...Obama isn't saying this to McCain's face.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:19 PM

Zo of Machosauce Productions should be a star

I'm probably pressing my luck by embedding so many Youtube videos on one page, but this is just too good:

"Ha-ha."

If this guy were speaking out for the left, and doing it with such energy and talent and humor and common sense and just plain awesomeness, he'd be a national phenomenon. He'd make the Obama Girl look like just another dumb bimbo with fake boobs. (Say, wait a sec...) He'd be front-paged on every liberal blog in the world. Olbermann would be drooling all down his suit. Charlie Gibson and Katie Couric would be cooing, "Why are you so amazing?" Soros would give him his own movie and recording studio with an unlimited budget.

And Jon Stewart? You don't even want to know the fluids that would be coming out of him.

But since those jerks don't have time for funny, talented people who disagree with them, we owe it to Zo, and to ourselves, to spread the word about him.

And if you do disagree with him, could you try explaining why, instead of resorting to personal attacks? Can you get through a paragraph without pulling the race card, dear heart? Keep in mind that he's not alone, and he's obviously not worried about you calling him names because he doesn't confirm your prejudices.

Keep up the good work, Zo!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:14 PM

Good questions

From the comments at Hot Air:

If Palin fired Monegan just to get Wooten fired, why is Wooten still a state trooper?

Wouldn’t Palin have replaced Monegan with somebody who would fire Wooten immediately?

Why isn’t the McCain campaign making the above point?

dKap on October 11, 2008 at 1:54 PM

And here's another one: Why is it no big deal for a presidential candidate to form an alliance with a cop-killer, but if the governor of a state is not terribly fond of one of her subordinates who tased his own stepson and threatened to kill her dad, it's supposed to be Watergate times 17 million?

Logic is racist.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:29 PM

The Three Rs: Readin', 'ritin', and...

...rug-munchin'?

I have a problem with this, not because it's a gay wedding, but because this teacher is a narcissist. Is it now common practice at elementary schools to take a field trip to your teacher's wedding and throw rose petals at her feet? (Or his feet; guess I shouldn't be sexist.) Get over yourself, lady. You married another woman. In San Francisco. You haven't exactly made history.

Wonder if the little tykes will be bussed to the divorce hearing too?

P.S. Okay, the teacher's in the clear: It was a surprise by one of the parents. Did I mention it was in San Francisco?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:03 PM

Paging Dr. Freud...

It's interesting how people keep doing this, isn't it?

(thx, tracy)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:56 AM

October 10, 2008

David Burge is a big fat liar

Who pays for it anymore?

But if you want to follow his advice, don't let me stop you.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:19 PM

Once again: Sarah Palin is not a secessionist

Even after Ethan Winner of Winner & Associates got busted for posting a false, defamatory Youtube video accusing Sarah Palin of wanting Alaska to secede from the Union, some people are still trying to make the case. Apparently they're so scared about Obama's longtime alliance with William Ayers that they'll try anything.

I've already explained why this is a load of crap, both here and on Youtube, but it looks like I need to do it again. If this is old news to you, find something else to read.

Okay, here's her "secessionist speech", which is actually an address to a political convention that was pumping dollars into the Fairbanks economy:

And here's the transcript. I've highlighted the key phrases, just so there's no confusion among those who honestly want to know what she said:

I'm Governor Sarah Palin, and I am delighted to welcome you to the 2008 Alaskan Independence Party Convention in the Golden Heart City, Fairbanks.

Your party plays an important role in our state's politics. I've always said that competition is so good, and that applies to political parties as well. I share your party's vision of upholding the Constitution of our great state. My administration remains focused on reining in government growth so individual liberty and opportunity can expand. I know you agree with that. We have a great promise to be a self-sufficient state, made up of the hardest-working, most grateful Americans in our nation.

So as your convention gets under way, I hope that you all are inspired by remembering that all those years ago, it was in this same city that Alaska's Constitution was born. And it was founded on hope, and trust, and liberty, and opportunity. I carry that message of opportunity forward in my administration as we continue to move our state ahead and create positive change.

So I say: Good luck on a successful and inspiring convention, keep up the good work, and God bless you.

Here's what she's saying: "I don't agree with you, but it's a free country: America. Where you live. Let's just try to remember what we have in common, okay?" She's meeting free speech with free speech, and reminding people she disagrees with that they have a common bond, instead of trying to shout them down.

In other words: She's being an American. Americans don't put out "Action Wires" to intimidate their opponents. Americans don't try to manipulate the criminal justice system to silence their critics. Americans don't scream "Racism!" when somebody dares to dissent.

Not the Americans I'm voting for, anyway.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:01 PM

You don't like hearing the word "unrepentant"? Too bad.

Do you think the New York Times regrets bringing this up yet?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:06 AM

October 09, 2008

William Ayers FAQ

If you're wondering why Obama can't seem to tell the same story twice about his relationship with Ayers, this will help.

And remember: Facts are racist.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:52 PM

This guy is awesome

And I've had this song in my head all day (lyrics here):


Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:48 PM

ATTN: All those who would dare to criticize our dear leader


Joe.jpg

Ann.jpg

Harry.jpg

Karen.jpg

Bawney.jpg

Previously:

McCain Refers to Obama as "My Opponent"
I used to think Southerners who flew the Confederate Flag were jerks
This post is racist

P.S. Hannity is a thief.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:33 PM

"Say it to my face," said the astroturfer

Hope. Change. Yes We Can.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:21 PM

October 08, 2008

I am of course a racist for agreeing with this gentleman

"Those of you who plan to vote for Obama, you're waiting for somebody to make you happy, when you have the power to do it yourself right now."

TOM!!!

(thx, AP)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:18 PM

Get well, Dean

Ed Morrissey at Hot Air brings the distressing news that the Weekly Standard's Dean Barnett is in the hospital due to complications with his cystic fibrosis. I don't know Dean that well, but I've enjoyed his writing for a long time and he's been very encouraging to me and my silliness. Please spare a thought or a prayer for him and his family tonight. He's one of the good guys.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:15 PM

You can preorder William Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn's new book now, unless you're some kind of racist

It's called Race Course Against White Supremacy, and if Amazon's product description is any indication, it sounds peachy:

White supremacy and its troubling endurance in American life is debated in these personal essays by two veteran political activists. Arguing that white supremacy has been the dominant political system in the United States since its earliest days—and that it is still very much with us—the discussion points to unexamined bigotry in the criminal justice system, election processes, war policy, and education. The book draws upon the authors' own confrontations with authorities during the Vietnam era, reasserts their belief that racism and war are interwoven issues, and offers personal stories about their lives today as parents, teachers, and reformers.

I smell bestseller! No way this one will bomb.

P.S. Don't think Obama is a socialist? Think again. As AP says: "The best part of this, assuming that it trickles up the media food chain and gets put to one of Obama's spokesmen, will be trying to reconcile the inevitable profession of ignorance about the New Party's agenda with David Brooks's assertions about how 'socially perceptive' Obama is. Truly, except for Ayers's terrorist background, Wright's sermons, Pfleger's race-baiting, and the NP, Obama's awareness of what's going on around him is laser sharp."

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:16 PM

On the other hand...

Subject: Eat S*** and Die Losing Mother F***er
From: Mr. Wolf [wolfy170@yahoo.com]

Why should anyone trust the opinion of a twice voting Bush [person, presumably male, who administers fellatio; which is fine if that's what you're into; after all, we're living in 2008]?

Now that's a guy who's confident in a landslide victory this Nov. 4.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:46 AM

You may know someone who doesn't think William Ayers matters

Perhaps you live in a blue state, or work at a college or a media outlet. The next time Ayers comes up in conversation and they're all like, "Who cares?", you could present these three reasons to care.

Or, you can just reply with two words:

Tanning bed.

If they think per diems and '58 Piper Cubs and not being fond of a drunk who tasered a little kid and all this other stuff are vital campaign issues, then so is serving a long apprenticeship to a guy who used to blow stuff up for political reasons and won't rule out doing so again. If this were Palin's resume instead of Obama's, Andrew "Ask Me About My Loads" Sullivan would call these concerns vetting.

So give that a try. I don't expect it to work, but it might twinge whatever remains of your lefty friends' consciences. And that's always fun to watch.

P.S. "Barack Obama's friend tried to kill my family." Wow, some racists can sure hold a grudge, huh?

P.P.S. The 1993 statement by Clare Schroder, daughter of Boston police officer Walter Schroder, who in 1970 was gunned down outside a bank that had just been robbed by the Weather Underground: "My father's life was cut short for no reason, shot in the back with a bullet of a coward while [Weather Underground member and 23-year fugitive Katherine] Power waited to drive that coward to safety." Keep in mind that at that point, it had happened almost 25 years before. Some bigots just can't let things go.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:28 AM

Dear Kos:

kos3.jpgTake a long crawl off a short pier, you astroturfing worm.

The more these idiots pound their scrawny chests, the more convinced I am that they're nervous. If they're so confident, so sure they're going to crush the evil wingnuts, why are they desperately picking apart every utterance McCain makes? "OMG! He said 'That one'!!!" Really, guys? And, "Holy nonexistent God, somebody yelled something unintelligible at a Palin rally! She should drop out NOW!!!" Yeah, that'll probably work as well as the other 20 times you've told her to drop out in the last 6 weeks.

This is not the behavior of people who think they've got it in the bag.

But then, Kos hasn't had a lot of experience at being a winner, so you can't really blame him for not knowing how to act like it. You might as well ask him to make a fist or reach something on the top shelf.

The louder these creeps declare victory with a month to go, the more I say: Screw them.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:50 AM

October 07, 2008

McCain Refers to Obama as "My Opponent"

By Every Reporter Who Still Has a Job
Every Newspaper in America
Page 1 above the fold

John McCain.jpgMedia Bubble, Oct. 8 -- John McCain's bid for the Oval Office suffered another stunning blow yesterday when the Arizona senator referred to Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States, as "my opponent." The campaign-shattering remark came during a vicious, Hitlerian speech before an audience of drooling right-wing drones in one of those states in the middle, possibly rectangular.

"I believe that we should do things one way," McSame sneered, his shrunken, twisted body and hideous visage producing overwhelming revulsion in all sane people who beheld him. "But my opponent feels we should do things a different way."

In a comment appearing simultaneously on every single blog, newspaper site, and message board on earth, a number of private individuals completely unattached to the Obama campaign replied: "On behalf of concerned Christian conservatives everywhere, this is the sort of eliminationist rhetoric we've come to expect from the evil, cancer-riddled liar John McPain. We get it, old man: Obama opposes you, therefore he must be destroyed. This sort of disgraceful hate-mongering might be a big hit at your next cross-burning, assuming you live that long, but America knows better. The NVA should have finished the job, you miserable piece of garbage."

McLame lashed out at this levelheaded appeal to reason, firing back that his detractors "have every right to their opinion" and "raise some concerns that, while I might take issue with how they're expressed, are worth considering." It is widely believed that McShame will have conceded the election by the time this story goes to press, hopefully followed by his gruesome death in a fire. Did I do good, Mr. Axelrod?

Oct. 10 update: Please note that I wrote this before all these stories about how "McCain and Palin are racist, fascist facistracists because some redneck who's never even heard of The New Yorker yelled something at one of their speeches." Can I call 'em or what?

Previously in the Media Bubble:

Palin Dodges Tough Questions About Existence of "Alaska"
Misspelling Found in Palin's Personal Journal

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:44 PM

Here's where my debate liveblog will be, if I decide to do one

Everybody already knows who they're going to declare the winner, but it might be worth watching anyway. And I suppose I should give CoverItLive another chance, after it crapped out on me last Thursday. They sent out an e-mail saying that was their biggest liveblogging night ever, and it wouldn't happen again this time...


P.S. If you boil Obama's schtick down to one phrase, it's: "That's not fair." Which is pretty galling when he's standing across from McCain. Do you think John McCain knows anything about the unfairness of life, you callow child?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:47 PM

In other news, Marlee Matlin thinks Britney knows how to sing

Dukakis on the Election: Obama Knows How to Win

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:25 PM

Polls

Relax.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:05 PM

At least they didn't steal this one from me

Update: "We're sorry, this video is no longer available." That was quick. There are more of us than there are of you, NBC. Here it is again, for now.

Update: And here's the transcript, until they figure out how to flush that down the memory hole.

NBC.com took this down, which of course made lots of people curious about why NBC.com took it down. I think it's probably as simple as NBC's legal department getting antsy about the "People who should be shot" part at the 5:45 mark on that clip, considering Herbert & Marion Sandler are actual people. (Sure, they're leftist billionaires who are in league with George Soros, and the sketch didn't say anything about them that isn't true, but still. Shooting them seems like a bit much. Repeated and prolonged tasing, that would be fine.) Which makes you wonder how that made it on the air in the first place. But it's in the public arena now, so good luck trying to put it back in the bottle, NBC.

Armisen's Bawney Fwank impersonation needs some work, though. Not dimwitted and spiteful and shameless enough.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:52 AM

They're still trying the "Palin is a secessionist" lie

The poor dears. Too bad the "secessionist" thing is completely false.

If these guys are so confident of a big win on Nov. 4, why can't they do a better job of making stuff up?

P.S. Don't bother posting a text comment on that Youtube video that isn't effusive praise. Or a video comment at all. They're so confident of their position that they don't need to be reminded it's provably untrue.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:49 AM

October 06, 2008

Keep a clean nose, watch the plain clothes

This cartoon is inherently racist. Because William Ayers is white.

Previous power-being-spoken-truth-to-by-William-Ayers here.

P.S. CNN is covering Ayers. As opposed to covering for him. I know, I can hardly believe it either. It's fun to watch Anderson Cooper sputter and stammer at the reporter, though, trying to come up with a plausible reason this isn't so bad.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:32 PM

I used to think Southerners who flew the Confederate Flag were jerks

billyandbarry.jpg

But considering Obama's defense of his long, well-documented association with remorseless terrorist William Ayers -- even friendship, according to Chicago Mayor Richard Daley -- I'm having second thoughts. Obama keeps saying, "I was only 8 or 9 when Ayers did those bombings and said all that 'Kill your parents' stuff!" Well, nobody who's alive today is old enough to have fought for the Confederacy. No American is old enough to have owned slaves. So what's the big deal about flying the ol' Stars and Bars? It doesn't mean you're sympathetic to those ideas. There can be no such thing as a legacy, because then that standard could apply to Obama too.

Makes you wonder about all that "Bush is Hitler" stuff, though. Bush was born a year after Hitler died. So by the Obama Standard, there's no logic to the comparison. Ha ha, I said "logic." How silly.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:01 AM

October 05, 2008

It's like they're trying to turn the whole country into one big college campus

Patterico: Any Argument Against Barack Obama Is By Definition Racist

P.S. More like the National Organization for Wacists!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:22 PM

October 04, 2008

Dear Gloomy Gus:

An excerpt from Mark Levin's show last night, for the people who see the desperate campaign against McCain/Palin not as the last gasp of a dying media industry, but as proof of a plummeting sky:

If we don't engage now, four and a half weeks out, then when are we going to engage? When it's too late? I can hear the calls when they start passing this crap [that Obama wants]: “Mark, what can we do?” You can't do anything. Don't you see? It's rigged. The courts no longer uphold the Constitution and limit the power of the elected branches. The elected branches keep pushing people onto the courts who will support what they're doing. The Constitution is being shredded every single day. You're losing liberty every single day. What do you want me to do? What can I say? If you're not going to get engaged, no matter what kind of stupid comments John McCain makes... If you don't get engaged -- not for John McCain, for yourself, for your children, for your future -- then what can I possibly tell you?

I'm going to be honest with you, when I drive around my neighborhood, I see these Obama stickers everywhere. It's like being in Peking -- I guess they call it Bejing now -- when Chairman Mao was around. The photos are everywhere, the stickers are on the cars, the signs are on the lawns... What the hell is going on here? And a lot of you look at that and say, “Oh. It's over.” I look at that, and you know what I say? It's only over if I let it be over. They only roll me if I let them roll me. Screw their yard signs. They're still driving around with Kerry/Edwards stickers on their cars, and they're proud of it, these morons.

Forget the pundits. Forget the polls. Think for yourself and say what you mean. This is a good start.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:47 PM

October 03, 2008

I feel kind of bad for 23/6

Even Matt Yglesias doesn't know who they are.

You'd think 23/6 would have a higher profile as the only place for liberal humor besides The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, The Onion, Real Time with Bill Maher, The Late Show with David Letterman, Saturday Night Live, Cracked, College Humor, Something Awful, Youtube, Countdown, the Daily Kos, the Daily Dish...

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:19 PM

Even Dave Winer is capable of giving me credit

And he's Dave Winer! (As opposed to me, Jim Whiner.)

BTW, the number for Hannity's show is 1-800-941-7326. If you think he should give bloggers credit when he uses their material on the air, please let him know.

P.S. I don't listen to Hannity or Limbaugh or the rest of them, but I do like Mark Levin. Yeah, he's cranky and his voice is annoying, but he actually knows what he's talking about. What little I understand about the Freddie and Fannie mess, it's come from listening to Levin. He puts up each evening's show on marklevinshow.com for free, so check it out. (And for the record, I like the dopey nicknames.)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:03 PM

I'm getting multiple reports that Hannity did indeed rip me off

Whether by accident or design, he used my "Ifill questions" on his 10/2 radio show without crediting me. If you like this blog, I need your help. Hannity's contact page is here. And this is the URL to send him:

http://jimtreacher.com/archives/001643.html

Please let him know that we're not all as dumb as Colmes. It's bad enough that the news uses bloggers as unpaid researchers. Now we're unpaid humorists? No. What I do is in no way humorous. But even so, we can't let these rich creeps steal our work just because they've got hours to fill and they're too lazy to think of something interesting themselves. I don't like it when Sean Hannity does it any more than I like it when Lorne Michaels does it. But at least Hannity takes callers.

P.S. If anybody's got audio of it, please let me know. I want to hear how he butchered my dumb gags. He's not exactly a comedic mind. I know that Colmes once had a career in stand-up comedy, but I do not know the name of the ventriloquist.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:53 AM

October 02, 2008

Liveblog the debate? Why not?

There's supposed to be a CoverItLive window there, but I'm not sure it works with this crappy version of Movable Type I've never bothered to update. If not, click here.

Well, that sucks. CoverItLive crapped out on me after 2 minutes. Guess I'll have to do it the old-fashioned way...

  • So far, so boring. I did like "Can I call ya Joe?" She made sure to get that on the mic.
  • She's looking at him. It was bad when McCain didn't do that, so it'll be interesting to see why it's bad when she does.
  • Common sense. She'll take some heat for that.
  • Joe hasn't mentioned anything yet about how this reminds him of FDR's comments on the Cuban Missile Crisis in his interview with Arsenio Hall.
  • Snaps!
  • Joe's point aboutZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
  • Yes! She's hitting the "paying taxes is patriotic" thing. Nice.
  • Ooohh, Gwen's seeing dollar signs.
  • Corporations bad. Bad corporations!
  • "Bridge to nowhere." Good, now a book-banning reference. Wait, no, Troopergate! Oh, there are so many urban legends to choose from.
  • "How long have I been at this, five weeks?" She's sassy. Which is bad! I want a boring VP.
  • Joe Biden is super-boring.
  • I have no idea if what she's saying is true, but at least she's putting some inflection in her voice.
  • Biden's about to contribute to global warming.
  • That's an odd way of putting it: "What's true and what's false about the causes of global warming?" Even scientists can't agree on what's true or not, no matter what Al Gore says. How are a couple of politicians supposed to know?
  • Oooh, she just gave him a "rape kit" opening. (No pun intended.)
  • I thought Obama was against gay marriage? Guess not.
  • Ah! Obama is against gay marriage. So Biden's previous answer was... unclear.
  • Well, if she thinks Iraq is so great, why doesn't she send her own... oh yeah. Never mind.
  • Was that the first reference to Bush tonight?
  • "Your plan is a white flag of surrender in Iraq." Damn!
  • Well, Palin does have the advantage of not campaigning against her own running mate and being reminded of what she said about him.
  • First Cheney reference.
  • Wow, Obama will go after Bin Laden if he actually finds out where the guy is. Whereas nobody's been looking so far.
  • They're gonna hit her on "new-kew-lur."
  • "Talk. Talk. Talk." Whoever said that to Joe should be slapped silly.
  • "Spaiiii-nuh."
  • That's it, Joe, sigh into the mic.
  • Sounds like he needs some Nasonex.
  • Wow, where are these George bushes he keeps talking about?
  • If he doesn't calm down, he might have another aneurysm.
  • Sigh, Joe. Sigh.
  • Smile while you put in the dagger, darlin'.
  • It should be noted that Ifill seems to be fair so far.
  • So they had an answer for this one written down...
  • Didn't Biden just talk about going into Darfur? But now he's against intervention? Maybe I'm just misunderstanding him.
  • Joe's just plain folks.
  • "Say it ain't so, Joe!" She's been waiting to use that one.
  • It's a Folksier Than Thou contest.
  • Nice. That actually seemed like a genuine moment of them both laughing at the same joke.
  • "He's president, not me." Slow down, Joe.
  • Yeah, keep trying to tie this lady to Cheney. Good luck.
  • That whispery thing she does, she could maybe not do that so much.
  • That's it, Joe, you're just too darn passionate. That reminds me of something George Washington said in his first radio address during the Civil War...
  • Does anybody believe Joe Biden has ever had to worry about not having health insurance?
  • Maverick. Yes. We get it.
  • Don't blow a blood vessel, Joe. Yeah, it's annoying, but you just bulled over the moderator.
  • A little dig at the MSM. Good.
  • He should just say "Bush, Cheney, Bush, Cheney" over and over for 2 minutes. Or is it 10 minutes? With him it seems like 10 minutes.

Well, nobody screwed up as far as I could tell, beyond Biden's general douchiness. Even Ifill surpassed the meanspirited jibes thrown her way. I like Palin (if you hadn't figured it out yet) and I was worried that maybe she'd let all this stupid crap in the media get to her. Not only did that not happen, but she actually hit back at them in a very graceful way.

So, take it with as many grains of salt as you like, but she proved her detractors wrong and I'd say she won.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:56 PM

Do I need to add Hannity to my list?

I'm told he used my "Ifill questions" without attribution on his radio show today. Can anybody confirm? And if so, does anybody have the show's e-mail address? I'm getting fed up with this crap.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:24 PM

$5.95 is a darn good price

I don't see any substance to this whole "conflict of interest" thing they're throwing at Gwen Ifill, and neither does Iowahawk.

Also, you racists who keep calling her "Gwen Quotafill" should be ashamed of yourselves. You won't see me not using that one.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:09 PM

Silly, silly me

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Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:21 AM

October 01, 2008

A partial list of Gwen Ifill's questions for the VP debate

gwen_ifill.jpgMayor Palin, Barack Obama is a handsome, charismatic demigod. How many boxes of Kleenex will you need after your crushing loss?

Senator Biden, what is your favorite color? And if you have time for a follow-up question: Why?

Mayor, you talk funny and you own a tanning bed. Why haven't you released Trig's birth certificate?

Senator, have you seen those pictures of Obama in his swim trunks? If not, I have them right here.

Mayor, what are the names, ages, and blood types of all 71 members of the Belgian Senate? And why are you unwilling to admit that your inability to instantly produce any and every fact I demand makes you unfit to stand in the way of history?

Senator, you've spoken at length. Could you please continue?

Mayor, which is your preferred method of stifling dissent, banning books or burning them? Since it's both, please explain how you can deny the accusation that you're a fascist, which I am making now.

Senator, could you please sign my book?

P.S. Do you suppose Saturday Night Live will change it to the Luxembourg Parliament?

P.P.S. History Is Happening Now raises a good point: Jerome Corsi and David Freddoso would make lousy moderators for this debate too. The difference being, of course, that they'd never be asked.

P.P.P.S. I'm told Hannity used this without attribution on his 10/2 radio show. If that's the case, and if you enjoy my work, could you please let him know he should give me credit for it? If he's going to criticize SNL, he should try a little harder than they do.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:41 PM