February 28, 2009

Just a quick look at some top Google results for "during Katrina"

Documents Reveal FEMA Mistakes During Katrina (NPR)

President Bush concedes mistakes during Katrina, but says fed action not slow (Nola.com)

How Condi Rice Spent the Storm: Shopping During Katrina (Counterpunch)

The fight to save patients during Katrina (Dateline NBC)

McCain Compares Obama To Bush During Katrina. Right. (Jack & Jill Politics)

FEMA computers hampered during Katrina (PhysOrg.com)

Police Coping with Stress During Katrina Efforts (NPR)

It was Heroism, Not Homicide, During Katrina (Time)

Looking Back at the White House During Katrina (LA Progressive)

Notice any pattern there? Do you think they were all saying "during the actual landfall of Hurricane Katrina, and at no point beyond"? Or did they mean "during the storm and its aftermath"?

When it comes to finding a way to slam the Bush administration, "during Katrina" apparently spans the period between the beginning of time and after we're all dead. But if Bobby Jindal says it, all of a sudden it's his fault for not running outside right that minute and wrestling the hurricane to the ground.

Katrina was a gigantic mess, and there were a lot of mistakes and incompetence during it. There's plenty of blame to go around. But it sounds to me like Jindal did better than most. Nitpicking over his use of "during Katrina" is simply a bad-faith effort to smear a guy you don't like because of the color of his party affiliation. If you do it you should be ashamed of yourself, which is of course why you're not.

Once again:

P.S. More facts. I hope Zachary Roth doesn't blog from Starbucks, because his open weeping might cause a scene.

P.P.S. A New Orleans resident speaks.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:44 AM

February 27, 2009

Apparently, by strangling democracy

How to get Michelle Obama's toned arms

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:02 PM

Somebody get Zachary Roth his meds

Based on this, it sounds like he's headed for another breakdown.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:19 PM

Hey, did you know that Katrina ended the minute after the storm passed?

zachary_roth.jpgBoy, TPM Muckraker really hedged their bets with this headline about Jindal's post-Obama speech on Tuesday night:

Jindal Admits Katrina Story Was False

And why was it false? According to TPM's Zachary Roth:

Jindal had described being in the office of Sheriff Harry Lee "during Katrina," and hearing him yelling into the phone at a government bureaucrat who was refusing to let him send volunteer boats out to rescue stranded storm victims, because they didn't have the necessary permits. Jindal said he told Lee, "that's ridiculous," prompting Lee to tell the bureaucrat that the rescue effort would go ahead and he or she could arrest both Lee and Jindal.

But now, a Jindal spokeswoman has admitted to Politico that in reality, Jindal overheard Lee talking about the episode to someone else by phone "days later." The spokeswoman said she thought Lee, who died in 2007, was being interviewed about the incident at the time.

This is no minor difference.

Of course not. Everybody knows that the event we now refer to as "Katrina" was strictly limited to the brief period of time when Louisiana residents could actually reach up and touch the hurricane. After that, the crisis was over! There were no problems at all. (And if there were, nobody directly blamed George Bush for any of them.) So for Jindal to say "during Katrina," when it was actually up to a week later according to Ben Smith at Politico, is obviously the basest, most contemptible sort of lie.

I don't know much about Jindal, and by all accounts his speech was excruciating. (I tried to watch some of it, but it was too awkward. He seems to be the inverse of Obama, in that he's much better at speaking extemporaneously than reading from a teleprompter. Which seems like a good thing, to me anyway.) But he's certainly on his way to passing one big test of presidential politics: withstanding a desperate, fact-twisting smear campaign. I doubt it'll be the last. Which will give him something to talk about with Palin, at least.

When Olbermann reads the printout of this TPM post on-air tonight, I wonder how many times he'll embellish it with "Sir"?

P.S. And when Obama breaks his daily promise, that's totally not a lie. You just misunderstood what he meant. Now go watch some more NASCAR, dummy.

P.P.S. Thanks to charles_star on Twitter for the tip.

P.P.P.S. Sheriff Lee, on the record:

Partial transcript: "Hurricane Katrina, the day after, Bobby was in my office, said, 'What do you need?' And it wasn't phone calls, he was in my office... I know how involved he was... He was hands-on. I got him everywhere he had to go in my helicopter, and he was there all the time. When the thing was over, he'd got equipment for us. And I said, 'Bobby, where did this new equipment come from? I wanna thank somebody.' And he said, 'I took care of it, don't worry about it.'" I hope nobody shows this to Josh Marshall and Zachary Roth. Might ruin their weekend.

P.P.P.P.S. The shifting definition of "during Katrina."

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:01 PM

Speaking of the great Batton Lash

In light of current events, this one seems worth reposting:

If you enjoyed this cartoon, you're a r-- Well, you know.

That was four months ago.

Told ya so.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:09 AM

Andrew Breitbart is kind to the mentally disabled

He let me repost that Schoolhouse Rock cartoon Batton Lash and I did at Big Hollywood today. Thank you, nice man!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:34 AM

February 26, 2009

It's all happening on Twitter

Sorry. I've been on it for months, but only really "got" it this week. Hey, Trend Boy! It can be tough to work within the 140-character limi

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:52 AM

February 25, 2009

Still have a job?

Obama saved it for you.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:13 AM

February 24, 2009

Just a hypothetical

Pretend McCain won last November. A nutty idea, I know, but bear with me. Let's say he won, and tonight he gave a quasi-State of the Union address. And, to deliver the Democratic response: Barack Obama.

And let's say that as Obama walked out to the podium, Sean Hannity said "Ugh, God" on a live mic, to the obvious delight of the crew.

Whaddaya think would happen?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:39 PM

Note to Ace:

If you're reading this, then yes, you can indeed blog from the new Kindle. I tried with the old one and almost threw it across the room. The new GUI still isn't going to impress the Apple drones (sry, AP), typing is laggy because of the E-Ink, and the browser is under the Experimental menu for a reason, but it's doable. Much like your mom.

P.S. Hmm. I wasn't able to actually publish this from the Kindle, but the previous paragraph did get saved in MT. Not sure why that is. Well, Twitter works fine, at least.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:44 PM

February 23, 2009

Twitter is a huge waste of time

Which is of course the appeal. People keep "following" me there, so now I feel obligated to update it more often. Come share the futility.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:03 PM

February 22, 2009

Obama Unveils Bold New Plan to Wreck U.S. Economy

Washington, D.C. -- In the midst of plummeting stock markets and a growing undercurrent of discontent among his subjects, President Obama delivered his weekly YouTube address on Saturday. A transcript of his remarks follows:

NOWhewearstheflagpin.bmp

Hi, everybody. As you all know, the failed policies of the previous administration have plunged us into the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression. If something isn't done immediately, every single citizen of the United States may soon die.

I have a plan.

I'm very proud to announce the establishment of a new government agency called the Monetary Uniformity Group. This agency will put people to work performing a simple but effective task: Americans who are currently [mimes scare quotes] "earning" too much money will be relieved of all excess cash -- by force only if necessary -- after which it will be gathered up, bundled into thick, heavy bales, and thrown into a wood chipper.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking, but please keep in mind that this plan is flexible. It could be some sort of industrial shredder instead. Or the money might be incinerated with flamethrowers, or weighed down with lead and dropped into the deepest part of the ocean. There are any number of options. The whole idea is to get that money moving away from people who don't deserve it.

To put it in terms someone like you might be able to understand: Look at your neighbor. Is it fair that he has a nicer car than you? A bigger TV? A younger, more physically fit wife or girlfriend? Well, then, let's see how he likes it when I grab his wallet and throw it in the wood chipper.

[Smiling, Obama mimes taking a wallet from someone's pocket with his thumb and forefinger, tossing it over his shoulder, and cringing slightly at the imaginary roar of the machine.]

Just picture that. Doesn't it feel good? A minute ago he thought he was soooo great, and now he's all mad because he doesn't have his iddle-widdle wallet. Look at him, he's actually crying. Got something to say, Richie Rich? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Only by following this plan can we restore America to the greatness it has yet to achieve. Remember: You deserve better, which means everybody else deserves worse.

Thank you.

Previously:
Bill Clinton: Obama "Probably Won't Destroy America"

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:53 PM

I'm kind of evil, I guess

Thanks for reading, Diggsters:

buried. artist/author is anti-semitic, racist, homophobic, and just otherwise an annoying conservative. don't believe me? go onto his website and read his other comics on spiderman, li'l obama, and barney frank...

Yes, please do!

P.S. Here's the "anti-semitic" one.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:22 AM

We've gone from a president who didn’t inhale to one who doesn’t want us to exhale

Via Tim Blair:

President Barack Obama’s climate czar said Sunday the Environmental Protection Agency would soon issue a rule on regulation of carbon dioxide, finding that it represents a danger to the public.

Here's your bumper sticker...

savetheplanetholdyourbreath.jpg

I want to be a climate czar. I want the climate to swear fealty to me for life. I want to boss around the wind and rain.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:28 AM

February 21, 2009

Hello to my friends at Digg

Thanks for the link. If you liked that old comic strip, you might like this one too...

WARNING: RUDE LANGUAGE

And given the week's events, this oldie-but-goodie might tickle your fancy...

WARNING: YET MORE RUDE LANGUAGE

Posted by Jim Treacher at 05:08 PM

In the interest of equal time:

Funny stuff! My ox isn't too proud to admit when he's been well and truly gored. Well done.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:27 PM

It's hard to believe they're both of the same species

Kind of like Grandpa Simpson getting schooled by a Charlie's Angel.

I particularly enjoyed Schieffer's bemused, supercilious tolerance of Muccio's dissent against The One. "Yes, folks, this little lady thinks she knows better than the president! Ain't that cute?"

And he actually said that people would like her plan because they'd be "getting something for nothing." How clueless. We're the ones paying for this stuff in the first place! What's wrong with not wanting our money to be wasted?

Oh wait, I forgot the new rule: Misspending is the highest form of patriotism.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:00 AM

February 20, 2009

Two thousand points of fright

Geraghty says:

On Election Day 2008, the Dow Jones Industrial Average closed at 9,625.

On Inauguration Day 2009, the DJIA closed at 7,949.09...

Why buy stocks in companies that are going to be punished six ways to Sunday by an ever-growing government?

That ain't it. Markets are racist.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:02 AM

February 19, 2009

Yeah, that's only 100 hookers

The $500,000 Limit Is Not Enough
Four better ways of fixing the CEO pay debacle.
By Eliot Spitzer
Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:52 PM

With apologies to ABC, legendary vocalist Jack Sheldon, and my childhood

If you didn't grow up in the '70s watching Schoolhouse Rock on Saturday mornings, first watch this:

Then read this:

JustABill1Panel1.jpg

After the jump!

JustABill1JT.jpg

JustABill2JT.jpg

JustABill3JT.jpg

For more of the great Batton Lash, go to exhibitapress.com! (And hat tip to Jackie Estrada for the idea!)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:06 PM

They're merely formalizing the relationship

Dem exclusive? Reporters jump ship

In three months since Election Day, at least a half-dozen prominent journalists have taken jobs working for the federal government.

Journalists, including some of those who’ve jumped ship, say it’s better to have a solid job in government than a shaky job — or none at all — in an industry that’s fading fast.

It must be such a relief not to have to pretend anymore. To be able to drop the laughable charade of "ethics" and "impartiality." Now they get to do the same job they've been doing, except they're guaranteed a living as long as you and I are still honest enough to pay our taxes. What's the downside?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:40 AM

February 18, 2009

Top 10 Reasons President Barack H. Obama Is Nothing Like Travis the Chimp

10. Travis understood TurboTax
9. Obama somewhat less likely to attack Biden
8. Travis never lied
7. Obama's smile not quite as genuine
6. Travis could get through entire day without teleprompter
5. Obama takes more long-term approach to destroying people's lives
4. Might actually be possible to get copies of Travis's medical records
3. Obama much better at taking orders from trainer, David Axelrod
2. Travis really didn't befriend William Ayers
1. Obama only talks your ear off

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:23 PM

Does this mean we can't start referring to America as a banana republic?

delonas.jpg

Guess we don't need to worry about Al Sharpton needing to find gainful employment for want of manufactured outrages in this idyllic new post-racial world. Whenever there's a dumb current-events joke that could be construed as racist -- that is, if you really don't have anything else to get angry about, or if you're trying to distract everybody from, say, a broad-daylight power grab by the most corrupt pack of grifters since the Legion of Doom -- Al will be wherever the cameras are.

Oh wait, Gorilla Grodd was in the Legion of Doom, wasn't he? I hereby fire myself from this blog.

And now I just hired myself back at twice the salary ($0.00). I think I've learned my lesson.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:32 PM

A jackboot by any other name

President Obama opposes any move to bring back the so-called Fairness Doctrine, a spokesman told FOXNews.com Wednesday.

Shifting gears, Obama then announced plans for a groundbreaking new policy called the Doctrine of Fairness.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:16 PM

February 17, 2009

Q. What’s the difference between Jesus and Obama?

A. Jesus could assemble a cabinet.

(thx, andrew)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:09 PM

"Do I get to talk more now?"

idiots.jpg

Okay, we can all stop pretending it's not really Obama's bill, right? He's got Joe the Genius there for whatever reason, but if he'd wanted anybody else getting the credit on this one, he'd have worked from home instead of going 1,500 miles west and 1 mile up.

It's all yours, Mr. President.

(Alternate headline: "Do you want me to go get some more flags? They got more flags back there, no problem.")

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:31 PM

"We've already estabished what you are... now we're just haggling about the price"

Via McCormack at WS:

Chicago Tribune correspondent Jill Zuckman announced yesterday that she will join the Obama administration as assistant to Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood and director of public affairs...

Zuckman becomes at least the fourth reporter to join the Obama administration. Others include former TIME Washington bureau chief Jay Carney who is now Vice President Biden's communications director, former Los Angeles Times reporter Peter Gosselin who is now a speechwriter for Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner, and former Washington Post deputy editor Warren Bass who is an adviser to United Nations Ambassador Dr. Susan Rice.

Former ABC News congressional correspondent Linda Douglass became a senior strategist for the Obama campaign, while other campaign officials included former CNN producer Kate Albright-Hanna and former CNN correspondent Aneesh Raman.

Remember what a big deal it was when Tony Snow became the White House Press Secretary? How terrible it was?

Well, you can hardly blame these people for transitioning into a growth industry: government.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:57 PM

February 16, 2009

You should've seen when he fought the Green Goyim

Via Ynetnews:

Israeli drivers in Rosh Ha'ayin were met with an unusual sight Sunday evening, when a man dressed as Spider-Man decided to use his superpowers to engage commuters sitting in evening traffic.

Several drivers on the scene called the traffic police hotline to report the superhero's unique participation in the traffic jam. The man leapt from vehicle to vehicle, occasionally attempting to lasso cars with an apparent "web" made of ropes.

Spider-Mensch.jpg

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:45 AM

February 12, 2009

Ruble for your thoughts

sheeeeeeeeit.jpg

OBAMA BURNED: GREGG WITHDRAWS AFTER POLICIES TOO MUCH TO STOMACH

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:12 PM

Julio the Frycook for White House Press Secretary!

I'm not sure he's much smarter than Robert Gibbs, but he'd sure be a lot more entertaining:

tapper.jpgJake Tapper: In the name of the transparency that you and the president herald so much, is there any way we could get the copies of the waivers that the OMB issues, to allow certain cabinet posts or deputy posts to be free of the ethics contraints you put up? And also, the disclosure forms that your nominees put out that go to the Office of Government Ethics, that somehow they're not able to e-mail or put on the Web. Is there any way we can get copies of those?

retard.jpgJulio: OHHHH, GRACIOUS GOD, THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME THAT!!! [hyperventilates] I do not know what that means at all but I am so proud to represent Obama who is the president! The fact that I am doing this job that I am doing and answering your question is the answer I will give to that! [jumps up and down, whooping and waving baseball hat]

America: Awwww, cute!

It would be awesome. See, you can be as dumb as you want, as long as you worship Obama. Don't ask him anything that might make him look bad, and everybody will love you. You might even get some special oral attention from Keith Olbermann.

But whatever you do, don't go into the plumbing business.

P.S. Dear SNL: When you steal this idea, I'm thinking Sudekis would make a good Tapper. Can't decide between Armisen or Samberg for Julio, though.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:55 PM

England has a new name:

al-Bion.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:26 PM

February 10, 2009

"We've had a good debate," he says

Here's his idea of a debate:

Obama: I won.
Anybody who disagrees with Obama: Oh.

End of debate!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:26 PM

No, I didn't watch it

He's boring. And any actual information that he accidentally lets slip out hits the Internet within minutes anyway. Sounds like it was just more evasions and outright lies. And a 10-minute answer to a question? What a boob.

P.S.

Oh, I can get a free house now? Awesome. Hey, everybody, we don't need to work anymore. Santa Karl will tax those evil rich pigs and give us anything we want. Just talk to his elves after the townhall meeting.

I will say this: As a president, Obama is a hell of a gameshow host.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:07 AM

February 09, 2009

Houses of the Holy

Mark Hemingway quotes the NYT on today's campaign stop in Elkhart, IN:

Wrapping himself in the mandate of his election last November, Mr. Obama sounded like a candidate all over again, scolding greedy Wall Street bankers and pointedly rejecting Republican critics for sticking with what he called a failed philosophy. At one point, he spoke about people with as many as five homes, which sounded like a reference to his opponent last fall, Senator John McCain.

Whereas Obama only has three homes: His residence in Chicago, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in D.C., and of course the Kremlin.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:17 PM

It's the Barry Hill Show!


(thx, Benny Hillifier)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:48 AM

You Can't Say You Weren't Warned

Hey, remember this one?

sarah palin rnc speech acceptance.jpgThis is a man who can give an entire speech about the wars America is fighting, and never use the word "victory" except when he's talking about his own campaign. But when the cloud of rhetoric has passed... when the roar of the crowd fades away... when the stadium lights go out, and those Styrofoam Greek columns are hauled back to some studio lot... what exactly is our opponent's plan?

What does he actually seek to accomplish, after he's done turning back the waters and healing the planet? The answer is to make government bigger... take more of your money... give you more orders from Washington... and to reduce the strength of America in a dangerous world. America needs more energy... our opponent is against producing it.

Victory in Iraq is finally in sight... he wants to forfeit.

Terrorist states are seeking nuclear weapons without delay... he wants to meet them without preconditions.

Al-Qaeda terrorists still plot to inflict catastrophic harm on America... he's worried that someone won't read them their rights? Government is too big... he wants to grow it.

Congress spends too much... he promises more. Taxes are too high... he wants to raise them. His tax increases are the fine print in his economic plan, and let me be specific.

The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes... raise payroll taxes... raise investment income taxes... raise the death tax... raise business taxes... and increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars.

As you'll recall, it took some time for Obama to recover from this speech. He spent a week stumbling around, babbling about lipstick on pigs and so forth. (He even whined that she didn't write the whole thing herself!) It took the combined efforts of Tina Fey, Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, and many, many others to distract us from this prediction. And now here we are, three weeks into the Changiest Hopefest Ever, and it's all happening just like she said.

Told ya so.

(thx, josh)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:22 AM

February 07, 2009

Misspending is the highest form of patriotism

As our brilliant, highly capable, and not at all embarrassing Vice President once reminded us, paying higher taxes is patriotic. But you know what you can pay that's even more patriotic? Obeisance to our glorious leader:

The details [of the stimulus compromise] were negotiated at an afternoon meeting in the office of the Senate majority leader, Harry Reid of Nevada, involving Mr. Reid, other top Democrats and two Republicans, Susan Collins of Maine and Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania. After they came to terms, the senators brought in the White House chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, for assurance that the deal was acceptable to the administration. Mr. Emanuel signaled it was…

Mr. Obama called Ms. Collins and Mr. Specter, as well as Senator Olympia J. Snowe of Maine, another Republican expected to support the deal, to acknowledge they were acting against pressure from their party and, one official said, to thank them for their patriotism in helping advance the bill at a critical time.

Please note that the 11 House Democrats who dissented are not patriotic. Obama isn't just the President of the United States; he is the United States. To question him is to question America. And what kind of patriot would do that? It's all very logical when you stop and don't think about it.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:11 PM

February 05, 2009

I didn't say the reporter who tried to get Obama's autograph was liberal...

...and I'm not sure how his employment at a conservative publication disproves the idea that there's an aura of celebrity around Obama that might affect the otherwise impeccable judgment of our friends in the media.

But thanks for reading, Salon dude!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 05:43 PM

I love Youtube and I hope I'm never on it

NSFW

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:22 PM

But in an entertaining way

flop.jpg

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:22 PM

Awesome, followed by much, much less awesome

tooth.jpg

fraud.jpg

(For further info, click the images.)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:54 PM

Fortunately, the Secret Service wrestled him to the ground before he was able to throw his panties

A reporter was escorted out of a White House event by Secret Service agents on Wednesday afternoon after he approached President Obama to seek an autograph.

At the end of an East Room signing ceremony for legislation funding the State Children's Health Insurance Program, an unidentified member of the media jumped the rope penning off reporters from invited guests in an apparent attempt to get Obama's autograph, according to a White House aide.

Secret Service agents swooped in and stopped him.

Heck of a job, media.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:39 AM

February 03, 2009

I just have two questions for anybody who voted for Obama

1. Are you going to pay your taxes?

2. If so: Why?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:07 PM

Let's hear some more about how McCain didn't "vet" JTP

doh.jpg

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:01 PM