July 31, 2009

Oh, to be a fly on a beer mug...

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P.S. Later that evening:

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PREVIOUSLY: Biden Clarifies Earlier Remarks on His Dread of an Obama Administration

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:21 AM

July 30, 2009

There's just no pleasing some folks

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Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:50 PM

Just a little tune Obama wrote for tonight's Racial Healing Beerup

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Ebony and ivory
Drinkin' liquor in perfect harmony
Side by side in my photo op
Crank and cop
Now stop pickin' on me

We all know
That people hate the cops wherever you go
There is good in them
But mostly bad
When we learn to yell
We learn to tell each other how the whites all hate blacks
Regardless of facts

[Repeat until all the white folks shut up]

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:18 PM

July 29, 2009

Obama is not a racist

He just judges people without having the facts, based on the color of their skin.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:52 PM

July 25, 2009

If a burglar who happened to be black had broken into Henry Gates' home and told the cops he lived there, would they be profiling him if they asked to see some ID?

If so, why?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:17 PM

F*** Tha Police (Oval Office Remix)

With apologies to O'Shea Jackson, Andre Young, Eric Wright, Lorenzo Patterson, and Antoine Carraby

This is what happens to black men in America.

F*** tha police, comin' straight from the podium
Young n**** got it bad 'cause I'm dumb
And not intelligent, so cops and press think
They have the priority to buck my authority

F*** that s***, 'cause I ain't the dad
For a punk Jake Tapper with a pen and a pad
To be sweatin' me 'til crack of doom
We can go toe-to-toe in the middle of the press room

F***in' with me 'cause I'm a world leader
Who's a damn good teleprompter-reader
Searchin' my words, lookin' for an error
Doin' me like Bin Laden in the "War on Terror" (sic)

You'd rather see me in the Senate
Than me as the top gun, pimpin' Air Force One
I stretch the truth all outta shape
And when I'm finished, all the facts get raped
Like Jodie Foster in The Accused
Everything's a crisis and it's gonna get used

I don't know if I'm black or white
When a thing is wrong, I say that it's right
And on the other hand, without a script I can't get none
I strike out when I wanna hit a home run
Try to ad lib and I always let the mask drop
Black president prejudgin' a white cop

Big O will swarm
On any U.S. citizen who's in uniform
Just 'cause I am the CIC
Troops and cops are afraid of me, huh

A young n**** on the warpath
And when I'm finished, there's gonna be a new math
Two plus two equals five, I say
Now all you crackas get outta my way

F*** tha police
F*** tha police
F*** tha police
F*** tha police

P.S. Why is The Man always tryin' to tell a brother what to do?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:50 PM

July 24, 2009

This post is inherently racist

Henry Gates is kind of a dick.

The latest: Police unions call for apology from Obama, Deval Patrick. But don't they know that college professors who are personal friends of the President of the United States can scream at all the cops they want?

P.S. This is not a race issue. It's a class issue.
P.P.S. Obama has invited both Sgt. Crowley and Sgt. Howly to the White House. Maybe he'll buy Crowley a pack of gum and show him how to chew it.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:14 AM

July 23, 2009

Under Obamacare, old people will have to stop bitterly clinging to their drugs and incisions

Wasn't Obama's Health-Rationing Liefest '09 awesome? I especially liked his little podium-thumping thing at the beginning. Oooh, so forceful! Yeah, just like that other guy:

Oops!

And now, a little ditty:

When an Oval Office liar
Ain't feelin' too inspired
His plans approach the drain
With these words he'll rebut 'em
His career'd be less than nothin'
If he had a speck of shame:

Obama is an asshole

(pic per geraghty)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:48 AM

July 11, 2009

Are you contributing to social deterioration?

You'd better hope not.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:48 PM