July 10, 2005

Raise the flag phuthermuckers

Thats right its your ol pal Captain Americrunch back to lead the pack. You thought your were safe didant you. Think again butt plows. I been gone a while on account I had what you might call a little problem with local law enforce ment but it wasant nothen I couldant handle. Domestic disturbence my rosy red ass. I was just practicen my back hand. Good one. But then she called the cops and I got ta handle that schitt. No prob I had em eaten out a my hand but then the one pig was all like Son why do you have 75 empty sudafed boxes in your teevee room. Now you know the old Crunch Man thinks on his feet but I didant have a good answer for that one so I high tailed it. Got 3 blocks and I woulda made it too except for the damn bean bag in the back. Phukked up my kidneys for a couple weeks but I just laffed it off. Phukken pigs. Any how lucky for me the judge was a a chick and there I was looken the way I do so she showed some lenients in ex change for a little a what I like to call gavel to gavel coverage. Now Im back on the street and on the internet so lock up your dauters. Who you adopted because your a bunch a nob gobblers.

I got ta talk about the towel heads for a minute. Just bare with me you knew it it was comen. Now you know I dont like people from London or England but that schitt aint right. Sure they talk funny and there teevee sucks but what the phukk. You aint supposed to say it but next time I see one a them Islams Im tellin him his little Allah book is a bunch a crap. See if I dont.

Also Treach you better take back what you said about Dukes Of Hazard or you will reap the whirl wind. Pronto.

Posted by Capt. Americrunch at 01:44 PM

November 11, 2004

Hey Spring of Triva

Watch a show called Hey Spring Of Trivia on the Spike Channel which is is a dumb name for a channel. A bunch of Japs sit around talken about trivia and pushen a button that goes Hey Hey Hey. Who knows why but they get a big kick out of it. Trivia like how Chinese Babies wear crochless pants instead of diapers so they just pee and schitt all over every thing all the. Also they kill girl babies over their like if the dad wants a boy and its a girl they just leave it out side to die. Sounds like a good way to turn your country into one big sausage fest but hey they have there own ways. Its not for me to tell you not to make your nation a big butt party so go for it. You probaly need to stand on somethen sturdy just to reach your buddys corn hole anyways on a count of you guys are so short accept for that basket ball dude. Any how other trivia you might not know is Japenese people laugh all the time at stuff you dont know why its funny must be all the radiation.

Posted by Captain Americrunch at 09:19 PM

November 07, 2004

Another One Bites the Dust

Thats a song by Queen who did some kick ass tunes for a bunch of peter smokers. Its also what happened to this little dork. Sayanora dipschitt. Thats Jap talk for you suck. I dont know how I do it it either folks.

In other good news maybe your Red State hasent hit the ground runnen but here they just repeeled the ban on shooten phags. About time too your ol pal the Crunch Man hadent bagged one in almost 12 years up til this yester this week. Now its Goodbye Nancy. Kind of fun to watch em run but then you got to put em down. Them rump workers know how to throw a funeral Ill give em that. Now if youll excuse me Im late for church.

Also this phukker is tryen to bite the Crunchsters style and hes gonna wish he hadent.

Posted by Captain Americrunch at 07:51 AM

November 03, 2004

Damn Right People

Im pretty phukked up at the moment so Ill keep it brief but I just want to say all you Holly Weird commie phagets can suck it. Alright then.

Posted by Captain Americrunch at 03:41 PM

October 31, 2004


Treacher is a phukken idiot like you didant know. I cant vote cause of Im a convicted felon but if I could Id vote for Bush. You little phags can cry about it all you want but Ill be god damed if I plege alegiance to some snake charmer. Put that in your bong and smoke it you San Fran Pinko butt plows.

Posted by Captain Americrunch at 11:08 AM

October 27, 2004


Dont worry girls I aint gone no place. When you least except it except it.

Posted by Captain Americrunch at 06:55 PM

October 22, 2004

Email From Some Phag

Some little pinko took a a break from wacken his pud to a pitcher of Osama and gave me a Inertnet link to a news paper story. If they love Moslims so much why dont they just call thereself the No Pork Times.

Posted by Captain Americrunch at 03:00 AM

October 21, 2004


So you little libs havant been emailing me which is probably good for your self esteem. If I was you Id be scared of my intelectual prowness too. Id also be be really in to Communism and gettin it on with other dudes but hey what ever floats your boat.

Posted by Captain Americrunch at 10:00 AM

October 20, 2004

Dont Worry Folks

Its like a god damn Life Time Movie around here isnt it it but theres still some body on this candy ass blog with some phreaken balls. Maybe Doctor Phil can help you out Treach. I bet youd like some of that Tuff Love alright. Hey if any body finds that little freak Puce creepen around your garbage just show him your dictoinary its like a bible to a Vampire. Welcome To America ya little dim wit learn the Language.

Posted by Captain Americrunch at 03:00 PM

October 19, 2004

PC Bull Crap

Some San Fran pansy ass said I shouldant say John Stewart is a New York Jew. Oh Sorry I forgot hes a Prespitarian from Sue City Iowa.

Relax folks the truth is Im hooked on John Stewart. Actualy Im hooked on his nose it got caught in the tale of my shirt when I walked passed him. See the idea is hes a real short guy with a big nose. Good one.

Posted by Captain Americrunch at 09:00 PM

Can I Get A Hell Yah People

Dont tread on me mother phukker. I say we we send over a schitt load of dentists and good cooks and people with chins over there and take over that whole phukken country. [Yeah the wierd spellings. That phag Treacher and me reached a Compromise about the abundent cussing too bad if if you dont like it.]

Posted by Captain Americrunch at 08:00 PM

Black Mail Shmack Mail

Dont push your luck hippy.

Posted by Captain Americrunch at 03:00 PM


Why so you can express your feelings. Tell it to Opra ya little cry baby.

Posted by Captain Americrunch at 08:00 AM


An other reason Treacher stinks beside the fact hes a pud gummer is hes always beggen for scratch like a worth less bum on the street. Its like Please help what am I gonna do boo boo hoo hoo. Fucken wussy. You want a donation how bout I donate some protien right in your face. Hows that for Pay Pal Gay Pal. Awsome rhyme.

He did say I could get five percent of the gross though so help a brother out man.

Posted by Captain Americrunch at 07:00 AM

October 18, 2004

Earth To Lefty

Dont let your mouth write checks your ass cant cash sissy. Walk away now or or I will be on you harder than a english lesson.

Posted by Captain Americrunch at 03:00 PM

Hot Shit

Guess what Treach. You aint.

Posted by Captain Americrunch at 02:00 PM

Team America

That movie is kick ass. I saw it and you should go see it. If your boyfriend lets you that is. I went with a hot chick I know and then after wards she got so horny she was like Oh Crunch me baby. You bet I did.

Posted by Captain Americrunch at 11:00 AM

Guardian Response

Hey whats up limeys. I guess you think you can fuck with American Elections huh. Maybe you dont remember a little somethen called the Revolutionery War. That didant go so well for you dick grabbers now did it. Yeah I seem to remember you limp wristed nancy boys went skippen back home to King Whoever after that one. So wise up. Why dont you shut your mouth and go scream like little girls over your favorite soccer player. Id say whatever the guys name is but unlike your third rate country we dont give a shit about soccer so I dont know what his name is. Probaly Nigel Wanksbury or somethen. What is it about that stupid game you like anyway huh ol chaps. The little socks. Those little shorts. The way they hug each other. They They should just get it over with and do it right there on the field. Why dont you riot about that you fucken dopes. Just have your little tea and crumpits and pretend you still matter and leave the real work for the Americans okay. Dont make us have to come over there you buck tooth freaks.

PS--Nice pop culture.

Posted by Captain Americrunch at 10:00 AM

Is Being A Homo Is A Choice

Why does every body try and say its not. Of course it is. A fucken fag sees some other fucken fag and chooses to gay him. Why else would he do that if he didant choose to. Just like when a normal person sees a nice piece of ass they choose to get a big boner like I do when I see a hotty. Its like okay dick do your work. It wont just pop up on its own stupid. You got to think about it my friend. You got to choose. Does this person make me want to mentally command the blood to flow into my penis causing it to become rigid. Thats what you say to your self. If its a smokin babe and your not a big turd burgaler like Treacher the answer is hell yah baby. If you liberal pole smokers dont like the truth you you can suck a big one. Right here. I bet youd like that wouldant you.

Case closed America.

Posted by Captain Americrunch at 09:00 AM

Deep Inner Connection

You wish faget. I just bet you want to ease it in Treach. I always figure you liked it better on the bottom though thats more your speed.

Hey there people its your ol buddy Americrunch. You can call me Crunch or Crunchster or EW but just dont forget to call me when its Miller Time. Thats a pretty good one. Any ways I guess you think its going to be business as usual around here huh. Well thats where your sadly mistaken my fine liberal friend. Im sick of this Treacher butt surfer always pussy footing around shit so thats not what your going to get from me. The Crunchman tells it like it is. You dont like it you can lump it. Your saying Oh Crunchster how can you be so force full. Hell just comes natural I guess. Dont cross me and we wont have any problems got me. Your not dealing with that little wuss retard Puce your dealing so try to step up if you can intelectualy.

I will be covering a lot of topics but I dont take requests but if you want to email me its captamericrunch@aol.com. Why dont you bring some of that lefty bull shit and see how well you do pal. It might not go the way you planed but hey its your funeral.

Okay I guess thats all I got for now but just watch your ass. Instead of watching other dudes assess queerbait.

Posted by Captain Americrunch at 08:00 AM