No, not because his first name is Sam. No, not because he owes some taxes he didn't know about until Obama's oppo researchers went after him. No, not because of any of the other stuff they've thrown at him to try to distract from The One's publicly avowed socialist beliefs.
I think I hate him now because he might have become close friends with this SNL cast member:
Lucky (allegedly) bastard! Well, he made Obama show his ass, so why couldn't he make Kristen Wiig show hers?
palin raised the roof
fey's resemblance? not so close
poehler's water broke
P.S. After the Weekend Update deal, Palin is the only one on either ticket I can see having a really good time at a wedding reception. If you think that's a bad thing, you suck.
P.P.S. I only saw the Palin clips online, so I don't know if any of the other sketches stole from me again.
[totally not safe for work]
...you never saw Cheney inspire anything like this. Unless you want to count Lemon Party. (If you don't know what that is, DO NOT GOOGLE IT.)
[/totally not safe for work]
P.S. They keep giving me good solid reasons...
That's the headline. But underneath she says:
"Election time is always good for [SNL] and this is a bonkers election," she said. "And that lady is a media star. She is a fascinating person, she's very likeable. She's fun to play, and the two bits with Amy [Poehler], that was super fun," Fey says.
Sounds like Lorne told her to cool it with the ystericalhay etoricrhay.
Update: "We're sorry, this video is no longer available." That was quick. There are more of us than there are of you, NBC. Here it is again, for now.
Update: And here's the transcript, until they figure out how to flush that down the memory hole.
NBC.com took this down, which of course made lots of people curious about why NBC.com took it down. I think it's probably as simple as NBC's legal department getting antsy about the "People who should be shot" part at the 5:45 mark on that clip, considering Herbert & Marion Sandler are actual people. (Sure, they're leftist billionaires who are in league with George Soros, and the sketch didn't say anything about them that isn't true, but still. Shooting them seems like a bit much. Repeated and prolonged tasing, that would be fine.) Which makes you wonder how that made it on the air in the first place. But it's in the public arena now, so good luck trying to put it back in the bottle, NBC.
Armisen's Bawney Fwank impersonation needs some work, though. Not dimwitted and spiteful and shameless enough.
Mayor Palin, Barack Obama is a handsome, charismatic demigod. How many boxes of Kleenex will you need after your crushing loss?
Senator Biden, what is your favorite color? And if you have time for a follow-up question: Why?
Mayor, you talk funny and you own a tanning bed. Why haven't you released Trig's birth certificate?
Senator, have you seen those pictures of Obama in his swim trunks? If not, I have them right here.
Mayor, what are the names, ages, and blood types of all 71 members of the Belgian Senate? And why are you unwilling to admit that your inability to instantly produce any and every fact I demand makes you unfit to stand in the way of history?
Senator, you've spoken at length. Could you please continue?
Mayor, which is your preferred method of stifling dissent, banning books or burning them? Since it's both, please explain how you can deny the accusation that you're a fascist, which I am making now.
Senator, could you please sign my book?
P.S. Do you suppose Saturday Night Live will change it to the Luxembourg Parliament?
P.P.S. History Is Happening Now raises a good point: Jerome Corsi and David Freddoso would make lousy moderators for this debate too. The difference being, of course, that they'd never be asked.
P.P.P.S. I'm told Hannity used this without attribution on his 10/2 radio show. If that's the case, and if you enjoy my work, could you please let him know he should give me credit for it? If he's going to criticize SNL, he should try a little harder than they do.
Do the right thing, Lorne.
P.S. Blame J.R. for getting me going on this.
The unpaid writing staff on the Internet is a great cost-cutting measure, too.
From last night's debate sketch on SNL, courtesy of NBC.com:
Lehrer: Now let's turn to the topic of nuclear proliferation. Senator Obama, you have frequently been critical of this administration's efforts to stop Iran and North Korea's nuclear weapons programs.
Obama: Uh, I have.
L: What would you do differently?
O: Uh, first of all, Jim, I would use traditional diplomacy. Something this administration has consistently refused to do. Should that fail, then and only then would I try what I call "playing the race card."
L: And how would that work?
O: Take North Korea. I would ask Kim Jong-il to shut down his country's nuclear weapons program. If he declined, I would say to him, "Alright, I get it. I know why you're really refusing to stop the program." And he would say, "No. What are you talking about?" And I would say, "It's because I don't look like all the other presidents you've dealt with." And then he would say, "Wait. That's not fair. That has nothing to do with it." And I would add, "That's cool. I understand. I'm different. I'm not like the other guys on the 5- and 10-dollar bills." It's a long, delicate process. But eventually, he'll have to give in.
Compare that with this post, which I wrote on Sept. 19:
A scene from Obama's first term
Obama: The United States demands that you cease all efforts to manufacture nuclear weaponry.*
Ahmadinejad: No way, Yankee dog. Death to America!
O: Huh. Okay, I get it.
O: No, no, I get it.
A: Get what? All I said was "Death to America."
O: Don't worry about it, man. That's just the way it is, I get it.
A: The way what is? Seriously, I don't understand.
A: Is it because I hate America? I didn't think you people had a prob--
O: "You people!"
A: No, wait.
O: "You people." That's just great.
A: No, all I mean is, is, you know... When your wife said that thing about... Just hold on a second, this is going way too fast.
O: Hey, if you guys want to keep trying to build nukes, I think we all understand what you're really saying.
A: I'm really saying I want all unbelievers to burn! Why are you trying to read something bad into it?
O: It's okay, you can say it. I don't look like the presidents on the dollar bills.
A: What are you talking about? Have I gone insane or something?
*I know, I know, he'd never actually say this. Just go with it for the sake of the joke.
Coincidence? Seems pretty darn close to me. They did switch dictators, but that's about it. And my traffic has been way up over the last month. I'm even getting links from places like the Washington Post and the New York Times. (Also known as "news-papers.") So it's not entirely outside the realm of possibility that maybe, possibly, somebody at 30 Rockefeller Center might've kinda sorta taken a shortcut. And why not? It's not like stealing or anything. It's only the Internet.
I will accept a personal check, Lorne.
P.S. Fun discussion.