Jim Treacher's Blog That Is on the Internet

And now, a few words from Meghan McCain's funbags

As ye sow...

Sept. '08:

Jan. '09:

White House E-Mail System Goes Down

From the 52 IQ's to the 49th State

Thanks again to the great Batton Lash! As always, feel free to post this, but please don't hotlink and please include a link to Batton's site, exhibitapress.com.

All those millions and yet he doesn't own a mirror

"Obama is busy putting together his presidential cabinet," Letterman said during his monologue on Thursday's program. "Senator McCain is putting together his medicine cabinet: Maalox, Metamucil, Polident, on and on and on."

Dave Letterman: Whippersnapper.

And McCain's appearing on Leno Tuesday night. Maybe he'll finally get around to addressing his own staff's participation in the Palin smear campaign. I like the old man, but every day that goes by without a statement from him... I'm starting to realize why so many people are not McCain fans.

My letter to John McCain

Dear Senator McCain,

I voted for you, I think you're an honorable man, I respect your service and sacrifice, and I'm sorry you lost.

That said: Will you please speak up in defense of Sarah Palin? I know you must be physically and emotionally exhausted right now. I know you're sick of getting beat up by the press who once loved you. But you need to stick up for this lady. She does not deserve what they're doing to her.

Thanks in advance.

You can send yours here.

(thx, downtheticket)

I am genuinely humbled by John McCain

"There was nothing except a mental and emotional confidence — this is what I set out to do, and I will do this, and if I fail I fail, but no one will tell me I failed until I have. That must be kind of a glimpse of a kind of emotional toughness that got him through Vietnam. He is just way above average." -- McCain campaign aide Mark Salter

Here's all I have to say before it's time to vote

If you've been reading this humble blog for the last few months, you already know what I think. But if I may, here are just two last pieces of advice:

1. Get some rest tonight. One way or another, we're all going to need it.

2. Whatever happens happens. Just don't let it happen because you allowed them to tell you that you don't matter. They're doing their damnedest to convince you that your vote won't make a difference. "Who are you to disregard your betters? Haven't you seen all our pretty polls? Haven't you been paying attention to our completely honest and unbiased coverage? Why can't you just face the reality we've worked so hard to concoct? Who do you think you are, you peasant?" If nothing else, you owe it to yourself to show them you're not falling for their crap.

   Stand up for yourself. Stand up against the people who want you to quit. Vote.

P.S. Okay, three things (darn you, Ham!):

David Foster Wallace on John McCain's honor, courage, and selflessness

For the last few weeks I've tried, unsuccessfully, to read the late David Foster Wallace's Up, Simba!, his account of John McCain's 2000 presidential campaign. I'll read a few pages, get exhausted by the sheer davidfosterwallaceness of it, and put it aside. But there's a passage I just read from it that I need to share.

I wouldn't normally post such a long quote, and maybe it's pushing the limits of Fair Use, but it's DFW and he never settled for saying something in 10 words when 73 would do and besides it's not like he can really complain these days and I'm sorry for the previous remark and oh god now I'm starting to write like him so here's his reason for trusting John McCain:

One of the things that makes John McCain's "causes greater than self-interest" line harder to dismiss... is that this guy also sometimes says things that are manifestly true but which no other mainstream candidate will say. Such as that special-interest money, billions of it, controls Washington and that all this "reforming politics" and "cleaning up Washington" stuff that every candidate talks about will remain impossible until certain well-known campaign-finance scams like soft money and bundles are outlawed. All Congress's talk about health-care reform and a Patients' Bill of Rights, for example, McCain has said publicly is total bullshit because the GOP is in the pocket of HMO lobbies and the Democrats are funded and controlled by trial lawyers' lobbies, and it is in these backers' self-interest to see that the current insane U.S. health-care system stays just the way it is.

But health-care reform is politics, and so's marginal tax rates, and defense procurement, and Social Security, and politics is boring -- complex, abstract, dry, the province of policy wonks and Rush Limbaugh and nerdy little guys on PBS, and basically who cares.

But there's something underneath politics here, something riveting and unSpinnable and true. It has to do with McCain's military background and Vietnam combat and the five-plus years he spent in a North Vietnamese prison, mostly in solitary, in a box-sized cell, getting tortured and starved. And with the unbelievable honor and balls he showed there. It's very easy to gloss over the POW thing, partly because we've all heard so much about it and partly because it's so off-the-charts dramatic, like something in a movie instead of a man's real life. But it's worth considering for a minute, carefully, because it's what makes McCain's "causes greater than self-interest" thing easier to hear.

Here's what happened. In October of '67 McCain was himself still a Young Voter and was flying his 26th Vietnam combat mission and his A-4 Skyhawk plane got shot down over Hanoi, and he had to eject, which basically means setting off an explosive charge that blows your seat out of the plane, which ejection broke both McCain's arms and one leg and gave him a concussion and he started falling out of the skies over Hanoi. Try to imagine for a second how much this would hurt and how scared you'd be, three limbs broken and falling toward the enemy capital you just tried to bomb. His chute opened late and he landed hard in a little lake in a park right in the middle of downtown Hanoi. (There is still an N.V. statue of McCain by this lake today, showing him on his knees with his hands up and eyes scared and on the pediment the inscription "McCan -- famous air pirate" [sic].) Imagine treading water with broken arms and trying to pull the lifevest's toggle with your teeth as a crowd of North Vietnamese men swim out toward you (there's film of this, somebody had a home-movie camera and the N.V. government released it, though it's grainy and McCain's face is hard to see). The crowd pulled him out and then just about killed him. U.S. bomber pilots were especially hated, for obvious reasons. McCain got bayoneted in the groin; a soldier broke his shoulder apart with a rifle butt. Plus by this time his right knee was bent 90º to the side with the bone sticking out. This is all public record. Try to imagine it. He finally got tossed on a Jeep and taken only like five blocks to the infamous Hoa Lo prison -- a.k.a. the Hanoi Hilton, of much movie fame -- where they made him beg a week for a doctor and finally set a couple of the fractures without anesthetic and let two other fractures and the groin wound (imagine: groin wound) stay like they were. Then they threw him in a cell. Try for a moment to feel this. The media profiles all talk about how McCain still can't lift his arms over his head to comb his hair, which is true. But try to imagine it at the time, yourself in his place, because it's important. Think about how diametrically opposed to your own self-interest getting knifed in the balls and having fractures set without a general would be, and then about getting thrown in a cell to just lie there and hurt, which is what happened. He was mostly delirious with pain for weeks, and his weight dropped to 100, and the other POWs were sure he would die; and then, after he'd hung on like like that for several months and his bones had mostly knitted and he could sort of stand up, they brought him to the prison commandant's office and closed the door and out of nowhere offered to let him go. They said he could just... leave. It turned out that U.S. Admiral John S. McCain II had just been made head of all naval forces in the Pacific, meaning also Vietnam, and the North Vietnamese wanted the PR coup of mercifully releasing his son, the baby-killer. And John S. McCain III, 100 lbs and barely able to stand, refused the offer. The U.S. military's Code of Conduct for Prisoners of War apparently said that POWs had to be released in the order they were captured, and there were others who'd been in Hoa Lo a way longer time, and McCain refused to violate the Code. The prison commandant, not pleased, right there in the office had guards break McCain's ribs, rebreak his arm, knock his teeth out. McCain still refused to leave without the other POWs. Forget how many movies stuff like this happens in and try to imagine it as real. Refusing release. He spent four more years in Hoa Lo like this, much of the time in solitary, in the dark, in a special closet-sized box called a "punishment cell." Maybe you've heard all this before; it's been in umpteen different profiles of McCain this year. It's overexposed, true. Still though, take a second or two to do some creative visualization and imagine the moment between McCain getting offered early release and his turning it down. Try to imagine it was you. Imagine how loudly your most basic, primal self-interest would have cried out to you in that moment, and all the ways you could rationalize accepting the offer: What difference would one less POW make? Plus maybe it'd give the other POWs hope and keep them going, and I mean 100 pounds and expected to die and surely the Code of Conduct doesn't apply to you if you need a real doctor or else you're going to die, plus if you could stay alive by getting out you could make a promise to God to do nothing but Total Good from now on and make the world better and so your accepting would be better for the world than your refusing, and maybe if Dad wasn't worried about the Vietnamese retaliating against you here in prison he could prosecute the war more aggressively and end it sooner and actually save lives so you could actually save lives if you took the offer and got out versus what real purpose gets served by you staying here in a box and getting beaten to death, and by the way oh Jesus imagine it a real doctor and real surgery and painkillers and clean sheets and a chance to heal and not be in agony and to see your kids again, your wife, to smell your wife's hair... can you hear it? What would be happening in your head? Would you have refused the offer? Could you have? You can't know for sure. None of us can. It's hard even to imagine the levels of pain and fear and want in that moment, much less to know how you'd react. None of us can know.

But, see, we do know how this man reacted. That he chose to spend four more years there, mostly in a dark box, alone, tapping code on the walls to the others, rather than violate a Code. Maybe he was nuts. But the point is that with McCain it feels like we know, for a proven fact, that he is capable of devotion to something other, more, than his own self-interest. So that when he says the line in speeches now you can feel like maybe it's not just more candidate bullshit, that with this guy it's maybe the truth. Or maybe both the truth and bullshit: McCain does want your vote, after all.

But that moment in the Hoa Lo office in '68 -- right before he refused, with all his basic normal human self-interest howling at him -- that moment is hard to blow off...

You might even call it the Audacity of Hope.

Can you imagine if Obama was ever put in such as situation? I can't picture him conducting himself quite so honorably, especially considering that most POW camps aren't outfitted with teleprompters. Considering he wouldn't have David Axelrod and Charlie Gibson there to conduct a smear campaign against his captors. Although maybe -- and keep in mind that there's no way I can prove this, I'm just speculating -- maybe that level of physical suffering would actually cause Obama to say something that was true.

If the NVA couldn't kill John McCain, neither can the NYT.

Why is it that the Hillary supporters have more fire in the belly than most of you [CENSORED BAD WORD FOR PENISES]?

Read this. Print it out and take it with you wherever you go. Learn it. Live it. Love it.

Do not take anything anybody says about this election at face value. (Except me. Me, you can trust. No, really.) Do not be an Eeyore.

Andrea Mitchell and the rest won't do it, so it's up to us

If you think more people need to know what Biden said, please go here, get the embed code, and put this on your own blog. McCain hasn't been committing massive credit card fraud, so he can't afford to do the sort of outright spamming Obama has done with his TV ads. It's easy to fake grassroots support when America's enemies abroad are flooding you with cash.

You bet I am

And if Obama gets elected and you stand in his way, or so much as refuse to avert your eyes, you'll be Joe the Plumber too.

Two ways you know McCain and Palin are saying something true about Obama

1. Somebody in the comments of a blog desperately insists McCain and Palin are lying and it's not going to work and nobody cares.
2. A media professional or other prominent Democrat calls it racist.

Good thing he missed his flight that morning, huh?

Family Guy's Seth MacFarlane compares McCain and Palin to the Nazis.

Ask me again why I'm not worried.

At least they're hearing us, even if they're not listening

My letter to Jodi Kantor of the New York Times

From: Me
To: kantor@nytimes.com
Re: I've got a hot tip on Cindy McCain

She's got really pretty eyes. Do you think you can use that?

Well, it was worth a shot. In any case, thanks for trying to trick a teenage girl into helping you with your hatchet piece on her friend's mom by pretending to be friendly to her. All's fair, right?

I'm assuming you guys have time before the election to do a followup story on Cindy's surreptitious nosepicking or something. Unless you're still busy "vetting" Joe the Plumber's parking tickets, overdue DVD rentals, and whatever else you can dig up to distract us from Barack Obama's now-revealed radical socialism. Not to mention all the various other unsavory aspects of Obama's character and record that might prevent him from taking office if you weren't suppressing them. Good thing you guys did pinky swears!

Just kidding. A lot of people say that you folks know you're not going to be in business for much longer, so this might be your last chance to throw an election. They say you'll go to any lengths to protect the Democrat. Especially since he's a Democrat you can point to and say, "There. See? This proves I'm not a racist!" But I don't believe a word of it. You're just doing what you know in your heart is right.

Hey, did you know that the guy who has befriended and mentored Obama for decades, and even babysat his kids, is also responsible for the death of several cops? And he's still pretty pumped about it? Yawn!

Why don't you go ahead and have a great day.

Your pal,
Jim Treacher
http://jimtreacher.com

Maybe I haven't been looking, but in the media frenzy to destroy Joe the Plumber, here's a quote I haven't seen much since Wednesday

This exchange from the debate is very revealing:

"Nobody likes taxes. Let's not raise anybody's taxes."

"Well, I don't mind paying a little more."

I'll let you guess which one said which. Hint: The second guy is now trying to crush a plumber from Ohio for asking a question. Or at the very least isn't speaking out against ruining the man's life.

"I don't mind paying a little more." Well, good for you. I sure as hell do.

If "it's the economy, stupid," aren't higher taxes part of the discussion? I'm no economist, but I do know that every dollar I give to the government is a dollar I can't put into the economy. One campaign is saying they want to lower my taxes, and the other campaign is questioning my patriotism if I complain about higher taxes. And millionaires like Diane Sawyer and Katie Couric are backing up the latter. I would suggest that they find the nearest large body of water and hurl themselves in.

And don't give me that "95%" crap. Why doesn't Obama just go all-out and promise that 110% of Americans will get a tax cut? (Oddly enough, that's the same percentage of Americans who've registered to vote.)

If we're going to plunge headlong into outright socialism, then I want some of what George Clooney's got. You're a big Obama backer, right, George? Well then, put your money where your wagging, chiseled chin is. It's not fair that you've got so much more than I do. I'll take one of your houses and one of your cast-off girlfriends. Doesn't have to be one of the good ones in either category. Whatever you can spare, genius.

The look. Of love. Is in. Your eyes.

She just can't get enough of that McCain, huh?

As Lisa Schiffren points out, that's quite a lot of ice Couric is wearing. It might be worth more than the business Joe Wurzelbacher was thinking about starting, before he became Public Enemy #1 for listening to Obama espouse socialism. I sure hope Couric and her ilk lecture the plumber some more about how he should do his patriotic duty by subsidizing other people's failures.

They'd better do it before Joe's public beheading Monday night, though. Olbermann and Matthews are anchoring MSNBC's primetime hatchet-to-hatchet coverage. Take a drink every time Olby addresses Joe's head on a pike as "Sir."

I don't normally do "fisking," but in this case I'll make an exception

The New York Times lives up to its glorious reputation today with a hard-hitting investigative piece by Larry Rohter (pictured) on Joe "Enemy of the State" Wurzelbacher:

One week ago, Joe Wurzelbacher was just another working man living in a modest house outside Toledo, Ohio, and thinking about how to buy the plumbing business where he works. But when he stopped Senator Barack Obama during a visit to his block last weekend to complain about taxes, he set himself on a path to becoming America’s newest media celebrity — and as such suddenly found himself facing celebrity-level scrutiny.

Yep, that's why he's being covered in the NYT: Because he complained about taxes. I'm pretty sure he's the first person in American history to do so, but keep in mind that fact-checking isn't really my cup of tea.

Joe's question is what's newsworthy. Their interest in the story has very little to do with Obama's answer.

As it turns out, Joe the Plumber, as he became nationally known when Senator John McCain made him a theme at Wednesday’s final presidential debate, may work in the plumbing business, but he is not a licensed plumber.

Did you get that, America? And he dares to call himself a plumber! Of course, it's unclear at this point whether he actually needs a license to do the sort of work he does in Ohio. Or what it has to do with, well, anything. But still. Hey, isn't this how they caught the Unabomber?

By the way, let's set the record straight: He didn't become known as Joe the Plumber because McCain brought him up in the debate. He became known as Joe the Plumber because Obama couldn't remember his last name after McCain had just said it. (Yeah, McCain mispronounced it, but at least he made the attempt. It's kind of an unusual name.)

His full name is Samuel J. Wurzelbacher. And he owes back taxes, too, public records show. The premise of his complaint to Mr. Obama about taxes may also be flawed, according to tax analysts. Contrary to what Mr. Wurzelbacher asserted and Mr. McCain echoed, neither his personal taxes nor those of the business where he works are likely to rise if Mr. Obama’s tax plan were to go into effect, they said.

"Tax analysts." Do they have names? Credentials? Ahhh, who cares!

Also note that at this point in the story, the NYT has done a more thorough job investigating Joe Wurzelbacher than they've done with William Ayers.

None of that is likely to matter to those who see Mr. Wurzelbacher as a symbol of the entrepreneurial spirit they hope to foster with tax cuts, but even Mr. Wurzelbacher said he was shocked by all the attention.

"None of that," meaning the opinions of these anonymous tax analysts who say Joe has nothing to worry about. Anonymous tax analysts have feelings too, you dirty right-wingers.

And Joe may or may not be a symbol of entrepreneurial spirit. Sure, he says he wants to start his own business in the field he's spent years making a career in, but what does that really prove? The NYT wouldn't want to express an opinion on it one way or another.

Just five days ago, Mr. Wurzelbacher, 34, lived in anonymity in Holland, Ohio, a single father who, as he said on national television, worked all day and came home to fix dinner and help his son, 13, with his homework.

But he became the hero of conservatives and Republicans when he stopped Mr. Obama, who was campaigning on his street, and asked whether he believed in the American dream. Mr. Wurzelbacher said he was concerned about having to pay higher taxes as an owner of a small business.

He stopped Obama in the street? Holy racism, he tried to mug Obama!

No, actually, Obama approached him. The One was gracing The Many with his presence by going around door to door in Joe's neighborhood. Because Obama is A Man Of The People (Who Do Not Displease Him With Their Effrontery). Joe was in his yard playing football with his kid, and Obama saw a photo op. Whoops. So get it straight: Joe was visited by the Messiah, not the other way around.

"I'm getting ready to buy a company that makes $250,000 to $280,000 a year," he told Mr. Obama. "Your new tax plan is going to tax me more, isn't it?"

That encounter wound up on YouTube and led to appearances on the Fox News Channel, interviews with conservative bloggers and a New York Post editorial, all of whom seized on a small part of Mr. Obama’s long reply. "I think that when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody," Mr. Obama had said.

See, they didn't quote the whole thing! They just focused on the "spread the wealth" part, and the "I want to take your money and give it to people who are less successful than you because otherwise it's not fair" part. As if it's somehow relevant that Obama revealed to the whole world that he's a socialist. Who cares that he looked one of his inferiors in the eye and told the peasant he doesn't deserve the money he earns?

No, those Faux Noise creeps took Obama out of context. Namely: He's a boring socialist.

There's more -- almost 1,000 words in all, because it's just that big of a story -- but you get the idea. Cut to the big finish:

In his interview with Ms. Couric, Mr. Wurzelbacher, who voted Republican in Ohio's March primary

Say, how did Couric vote in the New York primary?

said that his encounter with Mr. Obama had been prompted by his desire "to ask one of these guys a question, and really corner them and get them to answer a question for once instead of tap dancing around it. And unfortunately I asked the question, but I still got a tap dance."

He added, "He was almost as good as Sammy Davis Jr."

Get the picture, America? That's right: Joe the Plumber just called Obama a Jew.

Best NYT story since Jayson Blair left to pursue other opportunities. Clear some shelf space for your Pulitzer, Larry.

P.S. It might be presumptuous, but I hereby propose we change "fisking" to "Rohter-rooting."

P.P.S. The whole "He's not a licensed plumber!" non sequitur is really fantastic. So, if you happen to be standing in front of Obama when he publicly reveals his socialism, what does the media do? Demands to see your papers. That's just delicious, is what that is.

P.P.P.S. Thanks to Mr. Steyn for the mention.

Joe Wurzelbacher, American Hero!

Hey, what happens if you ask Obama an honest question and he accidentally gives you an honest answer?

First Obama makes fun of you and calls you a liar:

(thx, ace)

And then his supporters try to get you fired:

Wurzelbacher registered as an apprentice with the Ohio State Apprenticeship Council in November 2003, according to Dennis Evans, spokesman with the Department of Job and Family Services. Records show his training, which was sponsored by A & W Newell Co. of Toledo, should have been wrapped last year.

“We don’t have a record of completion,” Evans said. “All we know is that he registered in the program and has gone through to the point where we should have record of completion, but we don’t.”

And that’s not the only record that’s missing from Wurzelbacher’s file. He doesn’t have a plumbing license required by the city of Toledo to practice, according to a staffer with the Toledo Division of Building Inspection. Wurzelbacher, who now works for Newell Plumbing & Heating Co., said the owner, Al Newell, has a plumbing license and that “because he works for someone else, he doesn’t need a license.”

But even that’s not true, according to the Toledo Division of Building Inspection. Wurzelbacher can’t legally do plumbing work without a license, regardless of his boss’s certification.

A staff person with the Toledo Division of Building Inspection told On Call this afternoon that her division will contact Wurzelbacher to notify him that he can’t work without a license.

“We’re trying to track him down,” she said.

(thx, jimmie)

Is it just me, or have we seen more vetting of an Ohio plumber in the last 2 days than we've seen of Obama's mentor William Ayers all year? (Not to mention Obama himself!) Both Bill and Joe are embarrassing to Obama because they've given us glimpses of his true nature, and yet only one of them is being put through the wringer. Only one of them has to fear for his job. Weird, huh?

Let that be a lesson to you, America. Got something to say about Obama? Want to ask him a question he's not really ready for? You'd better keep your mouth shut, you racists. Unless you like being "vetted" by an angry mob. And Obama will in turn question your integrity in front of the whole world, while denying any responsibility for the consequences.

Keep it to yourself. Or else.

It was bad enough when they went after Sarah Palin's family. Now they're going after an ordinary citizen who isn't even running for office, just because he had the nerve to look Obama in the eye and say, "I'd like an explanation." Without kissing his feet even once.

These people are insane. We have to stand up to their seething hatred, their complete lack of scruples, their need to win at all costs. And we have to vote against the guy who they're so desperate to elect that they'll try to ruin a hard-working, tax-paying American just for asking truth of power.

P.S. If you have any doubt that John McCain is a fundamentally decent man, however you may disagree with him, then consider this. When he taped Letterman tonight -- and thank God that baby finally got his bottle! -- McCain actually apologized to Joe for what's happening to him, even though it's not McCain's fault. He said sorry on behalf of Obama and Obama's supporters, in the media and on the Internet and in the local government of Toledo, who are trying to destroy Joe because their savior screwed up in front of him.

John McCain truly does reach across the aisle, even to those who deserve it least.

McCain/Palin '08.

P.P.S. And no, I'm not smiling right now. When you go after a man's livelihood for asking Obama a question, I lose my sense of humor about your miserable desperation.

I'm sick of polls, as you might have guessed

I'm done letting them affect my opinion of the campaign one way or another. But as a public service -- if you're ready to throw yourself out a window because of how McCain's been polling, or if you're a super-genius who screams at me, "How can you ignore the polls, you dummy?" -- look at this. It doesn't make me any more happy than the bad poll results make me sad, but I know a lot of you have different religious beliefs and I respect that. If you live or die by the polls, you can come down off the ledge for one more day. Or, if you're on the other side, feel free to go out there.

And if you're still depressed about McCain or, on the other side, seething with rage at my "intellectual dishonesty," look at this.

Me? I'm fine. Optimistic, even. No matter what the polls say. I do feel bad for Joe, having to go through this "vetting proccess" because he asked a politician a question and got an uncharacteristically honest answer. But if Obama's such a shoo-in, why do they have to go after a plumber? Why do they sound so... concerned?

Nothing lifts your spirits quite like the stench of your opponent's fear. And right now I'm smiling.

P.S. Let me put it this way: If the polls are making you so discouraged that you're planning on staying home on election day, you shouldn't let them. You should do what you think is right, even if a bunch of Axelturfers tell you it's futile. But if good poll numbers make you feel better, keep you from giving up, that's awesome. That's the main thing. One way or the other, don't give up.

Ha ha, the old guy looks silly!

I definitely don't want that one lowering my taxes!

Thanks to Sean Collins for finding the precedent. And that's not quite a smirk on the other guy's face... Am I allowed to say "face"?

On the other hand:

"You're dumb!"

If your guy won the debate... why so furious?

I like people who agree with me

Doc Paul writes:

For lord's sakes, what the effenheimer are the talking heads talking about? McCain killed tonight -- on substance, on style, on the zingers ("If you wanted to run against George Bush, you should have run four years ago"). Smirking jug-ears looked irritated and flustered. Did McCain miss some opportunities? Of course, but not too many. He was on tonight, and I wish this was the guy who had showed up at the last two debates. Anyway, thanks for allowing me to think that I am not alone.

You're welcome, but you'd better make fun of Obama's ears while you can. If he wins, such hate speech will be dealt with harshly.

Oh, and... "killed"? Somebody call the Secret Service!

P.S. Ezra Klein and Matt Yglesias, AKA Jim Henson's Pundit Babies, both think McCain lost. Just further proof that he won.

"McCain didn't bring up the topic I wanted him to bring up, or at least not to my satisfaction, so I say he lost"

It's kind of like a kid on Christmas morning, surrounded by a huge pile of toys, whimpering because he didn't get the one he really wanted.

Do you want your toys taken away? Keep it up.

Once again, Mark Levin says what I've been trying to say, better than I could say it

McCain is doing something tonight that not only he hasn't done before, but neither have the media — he is holding Obama to account for his actual record of comments and actions, and he is stating his position in terms that, IMHO, can and I believe will resonate with many Americans. And he has been doing this from the start of the debate. He's not going to change his position on some issues where we conservatives disagree with him tonight, but he is scoring big.

Okay, so can you stop saying McCain doesn't want to win?

Thanks in advance.

P.S. If Obama had dropped trou and sprayed arugula juice all over the stage, his poll numbers would've gone up. What are you going to believe, a poll, or your own eyes and ears and mind?

I just ran a poll of one: Me. And I just asked a pundit to analyze it: Me. I saw what I saw, and McCain won on the issues. He won on character. He won on not letting the Obama campaign's cynical accusations of racism go unremarked. Most of all, he won on being present in the room, unlike the remote-controlled, talking-point-powered smirkbot.

McCain won this debate. Will it help him? Not if the people who are desperate to see him fail, AKA the Deathbed Media, have anything to say about it. You already knew what they were going to say even before the debate. (Hell, they should have leaked their talking points.) It doesn't change what I saw tonight. McCain was focused, he was specific, he called Obama on his crap. He was engaged.

He got inside Obama's head, you could tell. And unlike when Palin did the same thing six weeks ago today, we got to watch Obama's reaction on live TV. By the end of the debate, only one of them was smiling.

And it wasn't The One.

P.P.S. Almost forgot! In the liveblog I promised to keep a count of Obama's annoying facial tics, which were more or less pronounced depending on how big the truth he was hearing from McCain. It's not a complete count, since I was typing away and approving clever comments and such, but I tallied: 8 smirks, 2 smirks with chuckle chasers, 2 sarcastic smiles, 1 smirk with headshake, 1 not-quite-a-smirk (by a nerve ending or two), 1 Clintonesque frown, and a plumber in a pear tree. McCain got a bit smirky himself toward the end, but Obama clearly won on that front. It's kind of appropriate that the debate stage looked like a set from Star Trek, because Obama was Capt. Smirk.

The last presidential debate in U.S. history?

If you believe some people. Sounds a bit paranoid to me. Everybody thinks they know what McCain should do, or isn't going to do, and they think they know what will happen if he does or doesn't. Here's an idea: You might not know as much as you think you do. And that goes for you too, Me.

I'm choosing to go into it with a sense of detached concern. Maybe I'm just being obstinate, but the more they insist "McCain needs a game-changer tonight!," the more desperate they sound to me. Try not to sputter it out in such strained, high-pitched tones, you frontrunners you. Yeah, you're addressing the batter. He should swing when you want him to swing. We get it.

Commence the livebloggination!

Poll Says Up Is Down

NYT: Poll Says McCain Hurts His Bid by Using Attacks

Questioning the record of a man who could be the next president: Personal attack.
Questioning the uterus of a woman who could be the next vice president: Vetting.

These guys are not even pretending anymore. They've stacked the deck right in front of our eyes. If they can turn a few jerks at a rally into Birth of a Nation II, why should we believe their polls or their interpretation of them? That headline might as well be Poll Says McCain Hurts His Bid by Running Against the Next President.

They're just trying to get us to stay home on Nov. 4. Well, I can't speak for anybody else, but it's having the exact opposite effect on me. The more they try to make me feel hopeless, the more hope I feel.

On the very slight chance that somebody in the McCain campaign is reading this: Please don't listen to these polls. Don't be afraid to keep raising the character issue. It is perfectly legitimate to ask who has influenced Obama, where his ideas come from. And the resulting attacks and accusations of racism are a sign of weakness, not strength. The more you damage Obama's credibility, the harder they have to twist the truth until it's something they can work with. And more and more people are noticing.

The media has lost control. Don't let them get it back.

P.S. And as for whether to bring Wright into it? I'd say we've learned a few things about Obama since the last time Wright came up in the conversation. It's a lot tougher now to claim it was an isolated incident. A 20-year isolated incident at that. No, Wright is part of the puzzle. Don't be afraid to show people where he fits.

P.P.S. And tackle the accusations of racism head-on. It's not racist to talk about your opponent's record. And it's definitely not racist to point out how cynical he is for resorting to the accusation. For God's sake, they called you a racist for saying "that one." They think you're a racist for not conceding already. Why not just tell the truth and let them keep seething at their inability to honestly engage it?

Yes We Can (Pour Gasoline into a Glass Bottle, Light It on Fire, and Throw It at Your House)

The audacity of heat:

PORTLAND, Ore. - Authorities have arrested two men after a Molotov cocktail was thrown at a 4-foot by 8-foot campaign sign for Republican presidential candidate John McCain in a southeast Portland yard.

Karen Scrutton said she was asleep inside her home at 7956 S.E. 17th Ave. in the Sellwood neighborhood when she saw her sign go up in flames after 1 a.m....

Not long after, investigators picked up Leslie Brockette Leudtke and Kevin Carl Robinson, both 23. After interviewing them, the pair was charged with four counts each of manufacturing and possession of a destructive device. In addition, Leudtke was charged with a single count of reckless burning.

They didn't yell "Kill him!", or at least what a completely impartial observer would translate as "Kill him!", so it's okay.

I'm not excusing what these two men did. But can you really blame them, in light of the climate of fear John McCain has engendered with his racist code language like "that one" and "Senator Obama"? When you disenfranchise people by standing in the way of their religious beliefs, you can hardly complain when they firebomb your supporters. These young men just hope a little harmless terrorism will change a few minds about McCain.

Chin up, Leudtke and Robinson. Sure, you're in trouble now, but these pigs can't hold you down. There's an academic career and a sympathetic community of like-minded organizers waiting for you on the south side of Chicago.

(thx, JWF)

Is raising questions about Obama's birth certificate a smear campaign?

Here's why it's not. The circumstantial evidence for weirdness around this birth certificate is so great that legitimate questions arise -- questions anyone with common sense would ask. The answers to those questions can easily be provided. The Obama-Biden campaign can resolve this now with proof that Obama is a natural-born U.S. citizen, as is mandated for presidential candidates anyway.

The job of a press is to ask questions which have a basis in fact. See for yourself the full chronology here. See whether you are certain there are no legitimate questions worth asking. I am asking the Obama campaign to resolve a factual question which they must already have covered in the vetting process. After all, Obama is running for president, and he is constitutionally ineligible to do so if he wasn't born on U.S. territory. Therefore it is legitimate to ask questions about it. That's all.

(I'd say "Up yours, Andy," but it wouldn't exactly be an insult.)

P.S. But seriously, folks. Yes, I'm skeptical too. Not because I'd put it past Obama and his many, many helpers to try to cover it up. But because if it were true, McCain would be running against Hillary. How in the world would she sit on such a bombshell, let alone miss it altogether?

But hey, if they can raise questions about the circumstances of Trig’s birth, what's wrong with raising questions about Obama's? After all, Trig's not even running for president.

I can't help but notice...

...Obama isn't saying this to McCain's face.

Zo of Machosauce Productions should be a star

I'm probably pressing my luck by embedding so many Youtube videos on one page, but this is just too good:

"Ha-ha."

If this guy were speaking out for the left, and doing it with such energy and talent and humor and common sense and just plain awesomeness, he'd be a national phenomenon. He'd make the Obama Girl look like just another dumb bimbo with fake boobs. (Say, wait a sec...) He'd be front-paged on every liberal blog in the world. Olbermann would be drooling all down his suit. Charlie Gibson and Katie Couric would be cooing, "Why are you so amazing?" Soros would give him his own movie and recording studio with an unlimited budget.

And Jon Stewart? You don't even want to know the fluids that would be coming out of him.

But since those jerks don't have time for funny, talented people who disagree with them, we owe it to Zo, and to ourselves, to spread the word about him.

And if you do disagree with him, could you try explaining why, instead of resorting to personal attacks? Can you get through a paragraph without pulling the race card, dear heart? Keep in mind that he's not alone, and he's obviously not worried about you calling him names because he doesn't confirm your prejudices.

Keep up the good work, Zo!

I am of course a racist for agreeing with this gentleman

"Those of you who plan to vote for Obama, you're waiting for somebody to make you happy, when you have the power to do it yourself right now."

TOM!!!

(thx, AP)

McCain Refers to Obama as "My Opponent"

By Every Reporter Who Still Has a Job
Every Newspaper in America
Page 1 above the fold

Media Bubble, Oct. 8 -- John McCain's bid for the Oval Office suffered another stunning blow yesterday when the Arizona senator referred to Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States, as "my opponent." The campaign-shattering remark came during a vicious, Hitlerian speech before an audience of drooling right-wing drones in one of those states in the middle, possibly rectangular.

"I believe that we should do things one way," McSame sneered, his shrunken, twisted body and hideous visage producing overwhelming revulsion in all sane people who beheld him. "But my opponent feels we should do things a different way."

In a comment appearing simultaneously on every single blog, newspaper site, and message board on earth, a number of private individuals completely unattached to the Obama campaign replied: "On behalf of concerned Christian conservatives everywhere, this is the sort of eliminationist rhetoric we've come to expect from the evil, cancer-riddled liar John McPain. We get it, old man: Obama opposes you, therefore he must be destroyed. This sort of disgraceful hate-mongering might be a big hit at your next cross-burning, assuming you live that long, but America knows better. The NVA should have finished the job, you miserable piece of garbage."

McLame lashed out at this levelheaded appeal to reason, firing back that his detractors "have every right to their opinion" and "raise some concerns that, while I might take issue with how they're expressed, are worth considering." It is widely believed that McShame will have conceded the election by the time this story goes to press, hopefully followed by his gruesome death in a fire. Did I do good, Mr. Axelrod?

Oct. 10 update: Please note that I wrote this before all these stories about how "McCain and Palin are racist, fascist facistracists because some redneck who's never even heard of The New Yorker yelled something at one of their speeches." Can I call 'em or what?

Previously in the Media Bubble:

Palin Dodges Tough Questions About Existence of "Alaska"
Misspelling Found in Palin's Personal Journal

Here's where my debate liveblog will be, if I decide to do one

Everybody already knows who they're going to declare the winner, but it might be worth watching anyway. And I suppose I should give CoverItLive another chance, after it crapped out on me last Thursday. They sent out an e-mail saying that was their biggest liveblogging night ever, and it wouldn't happen again this time...

P.S. If you boil Obama's schtick down to one phrase, it's: "That's not fair." Which is pretty galling when he's standing across from McCain. Do you think John McCain knows anything about the unfairness of life, you callow child?

Polls

Relax.

Google Biden aneurysm

Sometimes I send e-mails:

To: Slate's Explainer (ask_the_explainer@yahoo.com)
Re: What happens if a presidential candidate passes away at the last second?

What will happen if Biden has an aneurysm? It would only be his third. And I'm pretty sure it can kill you a lot more quickly than skin cancer. Like, y'know, the same day.

Bonus question: Why haven't we seen Obama's medical records? He's 47 and an ex-smoker, but apparently he hasn't seen a doctor in almost 2 years. Or if he has, he won't tell us what he found out. He works out every day and eats arugula, and somehow that makes him immortal?

As long as this stuff is on the table. What are the health risks of holding my breath until I get a reply?

Glad I could help, Lorne

"SNL" extends strong ratings run

The unpaid writing staff on the Internet is a great cost-cutting measure, too.

Fine: Google Biden aneurysms

Doctors call on McCain to release details of bout with skin cancer

Whereas Obama is in perfect health, right? Which we know because his personal physician, Dr. David L. Scheiner, said so when he released a less-than-300-word synopsis of Obama's medical condition. Which was based on the last time he'd seen Obama, back in January 2007. And which is the entirety of what we know about Obama's medical condition. Hey, what could possibly happen to a 47-year-old ex-smoker in 20 months? Why would any reporter worth his j-school degree bother to ask?

(Ha ha, just kidding. I got a j-school degree from the back of a box of Captain Crunch.)

Apparently, this is supposed to make me like him less

The whole story of one woman's pictorial perfidy is here and here. I really hope these nitwits keep doing this stuff right up until Nov. 4.

And for my fellow nerds who saw this picture and immediately thought, "Hey, that looks like an Alex Ross painting," check this out. Remember: It's all about the issues.

P.S. You might remember Jill Greenberg, the photographer in question, from her thought-provoking End Times exhibition back in 2006. That's the one where she made children cry by offering them candy and grabbing it away, and then took close-up pictures of the results. Because George Bush is bad.

Isn't that just like a Dem?

Brings a melanoma to an aneurysm fight.

Seriously. If this is how they want to play? Let's play.

Another interesting fact about Obama's "Ha ha, McCain is a cripple" ad

In the last 3 days it's been viewed almost over 250,000 times on Youtube, but there are only 5 comments. All positive. And no video responses whatsoever, apparently.

Guess everybody really does love Obama!

P.S. O Ritz writes: "I tried to post a comment on the youtube 'Still' video yesterday morning and it hasn't been posted." Well, that's weird. Maybe it's just a Youtube glitch. Is anybody able to post comments to any other videos there? Maybe it's not the Obama campaign stifling dissent...

P.P.S. ABC's Jake Tapper has posted an accurate account of the ad and why it stinks. Let's hope Charlie doesn't find out.

David Foster Wallace, R.I.P.

They're saying it was a suicide. He was 46.

I've never been able to get through Infinite Jest, but just the other day I started reading Up, Simba! Here's Amazon's description:

In February 2000, Rolling Stone magazine sent David Foster Wallace, "NOT A POLITICAL JOURNALIST," on the road for a week with Senator John McCain's campaign to win the Republican nomination for the presidency. They wanted to know why McCain appealed so much to so many Americans, and particularly why he appealed to the "Young Voters" of America who generally show nothing but apathy.

(Keep in mind, that was a whole 8 years ago.)

This stinks. I wish David Foster Wallace hadn't killed himself.

MCCAIN PREVARICATED, CROWD WAS OVERESTIMATED

McCain-Palin Crowd-Size Estimates Not Backed by Officials

That's it, game over, time for Maverick to concede.

Doddergate

That's what I hereby name this. And it can be added to my list of Obama's less-than-classy actions here.

P.S. As Perfunction points out, the "1982" ad specifies that McCain can't send e-mail. Not doesn't or won't, but can't.

So this definitely goes in the Obama Is a Jerk file. Either they're too panicky and incompetent to spend 10 minutes with Google before launching their "new" approach with this miserable ad, or they're calling out McCain for having been tortured. Either way, Obama approved that message. Jerk.

If the campaign takes that video down from their official Youtube page, which would be par for the course, you can watch it here and here. Unless those get taken down too. Which would be par for the course.

P.P.S. Some Obama flunky says McCain is...

...removed from the day-to-day challenges people have faced in their lives.

Yeah, challenges like combing your own hair and tying your own shoes. Challenges he has a little trouble with because he was tortured by the Viet Cong North Vietnamese* for 5 years. Which we're not supposed to bring up anymore, apparently. Which must be why you mental giants just did.

I've really had it with these creeps. First they go after a woman's children, and then they mock a guy for not being as spry as he was before he went off to war. (Meanwhile, Obama keeps whining that Palin made fun of his resume.) Yeah, I know I'm an immature dumbass with a sick sense of humor, but I'm not running for the Oval Office. Maybe it's just me, but pointing at an older gentleman with crippling war injuries and going, "Ha ha, you can't send a Myspace blast!" seems less than presidential. What's next, comparing their Guitar Hero scores?

They keep trying to paint McCain as a guy who can't get enough war, and now they're giggling at him because he can't get into a flamewar.

P.P.P.S. Obama just canceled his scheduled appearance tonight on SNL. He's blaming Hurricane Ike, but I suspect it's really because they couldn't think of any good cripple jokes.

P.P.P.P.S. Ho Chi Minh was a community organizer.

*Sorry for the mistake, Obsidian Wings. When you're speaking up against the mockery of a veteran's torture injuries that prevent him from updating his FriendFeed page, you'd damn well better get the torturers' names right or your whole point is invalid. Good thing I didn't get the color of their uniforms wrong.

Did you know McCain is super-old?

Obama is now going after McCain for being "an out-of-touch, out-of-date computer illiterate." Which is smart. Young people have always been the most reliable voting bloc in American politics, and they will turn out in great numbers to oppose any reminder of their own mortality.

One way of getting in touch with young folks is to speak to them via the medium of popular music. A little known fact I just made up is that John F. Kennedy was the original drummer for the Beatles. That's how he became president, because all those cheering, fainting girls voted for him.

But we're living in the here and now, and the hip hop sounds are what today's kids like! So I've written a rap song for Barack to rap so he can become president because he's not some old white dude:

Well! My! Name is Obama and you're going to hail the Chief
McCain's so old that he's missing several teeth

I jog every day and nutrition is a must
If McLame fell down, his fool ass would turn to dust

I'm smooth and I'm youthful and I look good in a suit
He's a cranky old bastard and a cancer-ridden coot

He tried to send an e-mail but he couldn't find a stamp
He has to wear Depends or his trousers get damp
Way back in the '80s, his nickname was "Gramps"
And his wheelchair's hilarious without an access ramp

My Twitter page tells you which tie I've just selected
So don't vote McCain, he's far too old to be elected

Seriously, please don't vote for him
I want to be president very badly and if I lose, my wife will kill me
Literally
You people can't do this to me over some snowbilly baby-machine out of a Coen Brothers movie

Peace and I am out!

It's a work in progress, obviously, but once it's finished I really think it's going to get the youth vote out to the polls.

P.S. But seriously, folks: These last two days we've got a young presidential candidate ineptly doing the dozens on his older, more experienced opponent, and an elderly network news anchor seething with frustration over his inability to destroy a young, less experienced vice-presidential candidate. Which would seem to be working at cross-purposes. "Young people, old people... why not alienate 'em all?" Except McCain and Palin have that one thing in common: the scarlet (R). So flail away!

P.P.S. And we know Charlie Gibson is Internet-savvy, because he Googled those questions 10 minutes before the interview. He has no problem using a computer because he wasn't tortured for 5 years, unless you count waiting for Peter Jennings to give up his seat.

P.P.P.S. Those gloves Obama just took off? They're pink, they go up above the elbow, and he wears them to the opera. BAM!!

Barack Obama: Jerk?

My initial reaction to Bacongate was, "Well, it's just another gaffe. Obama couldn't possibly be dumb and mean enough to call Palin a pig." Yeah, she mocked him during her convention speech, but it was all about his record (or lack thereof) and soaring rhetoric. Which isn't nice, perhaps, but that stuff is fair game in a political campaign. Could he really be so thin-skinned and self-serious that he'd start hitting back with personal insults?

At first I thought it was a mistake for the McCain camp to demand an apology. As I told my close personal friend Glenn Reynolds, I thought they should have said something like:

"We're pleasantly surprised by Senator Obama's newfound sense of humor, and look forward to watching it develop over the coming weeks and months."

You know, rise above it, while still reminding everybody that Obama is a stiff, humorless, gaffe-prone scold.

But now I'm having second thoughts. I think he meant exactly what the crowd obviously thought he meant, because it fits a clear pattern of behavior.

Putting aside the astonishing smear campaign against Palin, which is definitely not grassroots, just look at some of Obama's past antics. In no particular order:

• What was the Obama camp's initial reaction to Palin's announcement?

  "Today, John McCain put the former mayor of a town of 9,000 with zero foreign policy experience a heartbeat away from the presidency. Governor Palin shares John McCain's commitment to overturning Roe v. Wade, the agenda of Big Oil and continuing George Bush's failed economic policies -- that's not the change we need, it's just more of the same."

Yeowtch! And her palmprints on the podium were still warm. (Quite a contrast to McCain's ad, less than 24 hours earlier, congratulating Obama on his achievement.) But then, later that same day, Obama walked it back:

"I think that... campaigns start getting these hair triggers and the statement that Joe and I put out reflects our sentiments," he said, according to the pool report, apparently criticizing his staff for going overboard, as he did occasionally in the primary.

So he's not the hostile, panicky jackass. It was his staff's fault. Yes We Can... Pass the Buck!
• Speaking of McCain's congratulatory ad, which as far as I know is unprecedented, how did Obama return the gesture? By finally going on The O'Reilly Factor, after months of begging by O'Reilly, on the night of McCain's speech. Your opponent goes out of his way to show some class on your big day, and you thank him by trying to steal his thunder?
• After Bill Clinton, ahem, swallowed his pride and endorsed Obama at the DNC, what song did they play afterward? "Addicted to Love." Classy!
• During a campaign event last April, Obama emphasized a point about Hillary by scratching his cheek. With his middle finger. Innocent, offhand gesture? I thought so at first. Now I'm not so sure.
• The "dirt off your shoulder" thing. At first I thought it was funny, and I like that Jay-Z song, but in retrospect the gesture seems -- much like Jay-Z -- arrogant and deeply unpleasant. And based on what we've seen from Obama over the past week, it's obviously delusional. Not only can't he brush the dirt off his shoulders, but he's piling even more on them as he digs this deep, deep hole.
• And to go beyond mere jerkiness: What's up with putting out an "Obama Action Wire" to try to shut down a Chicago radio station for talking about his ties with William Ayers? If Ayers is just a guy in Obama's neighborhood, why launch thousands of phone calls and e-mails at the station, all spouting the same talking points? You can download an MP3 of the show in question here. It's one thing for MoveOn or Kos or Media Matters (at the risk of redundancy) to do that kind of crap, but this came from the official campaign site. Does it bother anybody else that a presidential candidate is openly trying to stifle dissent? Doesn't Obama know that as president, he would be criticized every minute of every day? Does he plan to shout them all down?

But hey, I could be wrong. These could all be coincidences and/or innocent mistakes. Maybe it's everybody else's fault. Maybe he isn't really throwing rocks and hiding his hand.

P.S. And before you start? In the words of the immortal Harvey Keitel: "I didn't make a statement. I asked a question."

P.P.S. A couple of other examples people have pointed out: Obama ignored the fact that Palin is the governor of Alaska and called Wasilla "Wasilly" (which was what triggered her "community organizer" comeback, which in turn apparently triggered his ongoing meltdown), and he called that female reporter "sweetie." Again, those both can be passed off as innocent mistakes until you fit them into this pattern of behavior. I guess for his fans, it doesn't count as rude, immature behavior as long as he has a serious look on his face.

P.P.P.S. Mocking McCain's war injuries and alienating everybody older than Obama would certainly qualify. Either it's on purpose, which goes way, way beyond jerkiness, or they didn't do a simple Google search to learn why McCain has trouble using a computer keyboard, which means they're panicky idiots.

Guess you had to be there

CBS:

Barack Obama took it up a notch – or two - at a town hall meeting tonight where he used comedy to mock and ridicule the McCain-Palin ticket.

"I mean think about it, you guys remember this, it was just like a month ago they were all saying 'experience, experience, experience'," Obama said as the crowd snickered, "Then they chose Palin and started talking about 'change, change, change' - What happened?"...

"I mean, mother, governor, moose shooter?! I mean I think that's cool, that's cool stuff," Obama said about Palin's biography.

When discussing McCain's energy plan, Obama poked fun at his line on drilling. "What were the Republicans hollerin', 'drill baby drill'? What kind of slogan is that?! They were getting all excited about drilling!"

The most impressive thing is that he writes his own material. Have you guys seen his half-hour special on HBO? I could not stay in my chair during the bit about the vitamin content of various vegetables.

Yeah, Joe, she's being sequestered

Here she is in Colorado Springs last Saturday, ducking the press again. You can't hide forever, Sarah!

(Pic courtesy of Ace)

P.S. McCain/Palin is running on a reform platform, right? Do you suppose they ever could have dreamed they'd also end up implementing reform of the media?

Media Entitlement for Dummies

If I worked for the McCain campaign, here would be my response to this, in full: "If the press wants to know Gov. Palin's position on any particular issue, that would have been a better opening question than, 'Is your youngest child really your daughter's baby?'"

P.S. This blog has become all Palin all the time anyway, but if for some reason you need all my babbling about it on one page, check it out.

Yeah, it's cherrypicking, but at this point I don't care

How about some compare-and-contrast?

Here's a lady who's had to put up with a barrage of savagely insane rumors about the content of her character, not to mention the contents of her uterus, for her entire week in the public eye so far:

And here's a guy who's facing the biggest crisis of his career because that lady needled him for saying he alone could heal the planet:

It's only a matter of hours before McCain drops her from the ticket, don't you think?

P.S. I want to apologize for calling him "Black Nixon" earlier. Upon further reflection, it's an unfair analogy: Nixon didn't have the Internet.

P.P.S. Sarah Palin proposes a solution to Andrew Sullivan's self-inflicted problem. Although it would be like daylight to Dracula...

Open thread

Why not. Possible topic: Will Barack Obama be the first person to guilt his way into the White House? Or will McCain/Palin force him to stop crying to teacher and start playing by their rules? I almost hope not, because it's fun to watch this socialist continually rely on his one and only fallback: "That's not fair!"

(I reserve the right to close comments at any time, delete your comment, alter it to your detriment and my amusement, or whatever the hell else I want to do on my own blog.)

MSM:

Making
Sarah
Mightier

I've been struggling to think of a metaphor to adequately describe the press's treatment of Vice President Palin over the past week. My first thought was, "It's kind of like raping your blind date at her doorstep, and then demanding to borrow some money and her car." But anybody who tried that with Palin would end up hanging from the rafters of a smokehouse.

I dunno. My gut feeling is that she should cheerfully decline all interviews until such time as she damn well feels like it. Let these hacks claw at their whorish faces in frustration as her poll numbers skyrocket. How in the world do these arrogant slugs think she owes them a single solitary thing? They've abdicated their role as advocates for their audience, and they're clearly serving as surrogates for a vendetta against this lady and the people she loves. Stugots.

Osama and those other losers make demands of us all the time. Do we jump through their hoops? Palin should treat the media like the terrorists they are: No negotiation. And no warning when she strikes.

P.S. Sounds like they agree. McCain campaign statement:

Gov. Sarah Palin spoke directly to 40 million people on Wednesday night. Only in the warped worldview of the beltway media establishment would that constitute a ‘cone of silence’. We will conduct our campaign our way and on our timeline.

I'd have added: "Alaska has many beautiful lakes, into which any media professional demanding access to Gov. Palin can jump."

When that song came out, McCain was only 90

The Wilson sisters sent a cease and desist to McCain/Palin because they used "Barracuda" by Heart at the end of the RNC. It makes sense: For a rock musician, affiliation with a Republican campaign could be a career-ender. Whoops, too late!

Well, they'll have no problem paying for the lawyer, what with all the money they made tonight on iTunes.

P.S. I like Kaus, but some things he says are less smart than others. Here's one from last night:

Palin Speech: Very effective, as expected. Big loser: Hillary. Maybe Hillary's handicaps (e.g., inability to zing opponents without seeming haughty or testy) aren't barriers facing all women after all. [Point stolen from someone in the crowd.] ... Trig is already becoming a bit of a prop, however. ... 11:39 P.M.

Prop? What were they supposed to do, leave him in the car?

P.P.S. And if she'd handed the kid off backstage to a Secret Service guy with a towel over his shoulder, inevitably somebody would say she was ashamed of Trig and trying to hide him.

You can call a woman a bad mother for not forcing her daughter to have an abortion, and claim that the same woman didn't actually give birth to her own son...

...but don't you dare ask what a community organizer actually does.

A commenter at QandO was nice enough to explain the difference between Obama Black Nixon and Palin:

Jesus was a community organizer. Pilate was a governor.

To which I replied:

And last night was the crucifixion.

Hey, you know who else was a community organizer? Don Corleone.

P.S. Here's a funny thing: If you Google "Jesus was a community organizer" "Pilate was a governor", suddenly that moronic non sequitur is all over the place. Hundreds of results, and I'll give you a cookie made of dreams if you can find one dated before Sept. 4. Purely spontaneous, right?

Way to get rid of the "He thinks he's the Messiah" meme, geniuses. Astroturfing sucks, but if it helps turn even more people away from a witless crybaby like Obama, who wants to be president because otherwise it's not fair, that works for me. We are the spam we've been waiting for.

And you'll never guess where this wonderful, poetic grassroots slogan "originated". It's attributed only to "a reader." Kos is such an idiot that he couldn't even come up with a fake name to put it under. How about "Sparack Spobama"? "Spavid Spaxelrod"? (I wonder if this Kos page will be deleted, just like the one that launched the utterly deranged conspiracy theory about Palin's youngest son? Get the disinfo out there, and then remove the source. Orwell was an amateur.)

P.P.S. If you're a community organizer and you want to help organize a community of other community organizers to stop the mockery of, um, whatever the hell it is you do:

http://organizersfightback.wordpress.com/

They're demanding an apology from Sarah Palin. Perhaps they haven't been paying attention. I think that'll happen the day after Joe Biden gets through a full paragraph without reminding people of a much less likable Ted Baxter.

P.P.P.S. How about McCain's speech, huh? It's not his strong suit, and there was no way he was going to outshine the VP, but he did fine. And he had help. Five years of torture didn't stop him, but some fatty in a pink t-shirt was supposed to? I predict Obama will put out a statement tomorrow insisting that he had no specific knowledge of Code Pink's plans. (By the way, if you're wondering how those CP idiots got into the convention: They wear the tinfoil inside the hat.)

P.P.P.P.S. I love the stupid pundits who say Sarah used too much sarcasm last night. Yeah, why make a political speech interesting? You might hurt your opponent's feelings. Not to mention, all that open mockery was obviously designed to rattle Obama, a notoriously thin-skinned grievance monger. Which it obviously has, with flying colors.

Palin Dodges Tough Questions About Existence of "Alaska"

By Howard Kurtz
Washington Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, September 3, 2008; A1

Media Bubble, Sept. 2 -- Embattled former beauty queen Sarah Palin* continued to wilt yesterday under the pressure of numerous fair, evenhanded media questions regarding the alleged state of "Alaska." Palin has claimed to be "governor" of the legendary northern land mass, which, while heretofore undiscovered by explorers, was once rumored to contain vast expanses rich with oil, gold, and "eski-mos."

Palin first made the "Alaska" claim during an Aug. 29 public appearance alongside elderly, mean-looking cancer victim John McCain. McCain, a white man with even whiter hair, has long publicly blocked efforts by Barack Obama, a youthful black man with a certain indefinable aura about him, to move into Obama's new house. Palin, also white-skinned, has been linked to the McCain offensive.

After four days of telling silence from the McCain camp, Palin finally deigned to reappear in public yesterday. In a followup press conference, Palin, who is a girl, lashed out at the media.

"Listen to me: Alaska. Is. A. State. Seriously. The 49th state, in fact. Way up north there. What, did somebody go around your newsrooms and hide all the maps underneath the ethics manuals? Or are you idiots just completely insane?"

Shaking her head in a transparent attempt to feign exasperation, Palin -- who is perhaps not as pretty as she thinks she is -- then left the podium without answering followup questions regarding her plagiarism of CBS's Northern Exposure.

Internet reaction to the unfit mother's unhinged rant was swift. Andrew Sullivan, right-wing blogger for The Atlantic, saw Palin's comments as a major misstep. "She's working the refs. This is what they do. Sure, blame the media. Is it their fault she's too chicken to back up these suspicious claims?

"Look, I'm willing to entertain the idea that there really is a place called 'Alaska.' We've all heard the old wives' tales, and I've dreamed about such a rugged, outdoorsy paradise since I was about 13 or 14. But why is she so afraid to give us some proof? I mean, I've never been there, have you?"

Yukon Cornelius could not be reached for comment.

Update: After consultation with the Association of American Geographers and several DC-area kindergarten students, the Washington Post can now report that many current world maps contain a small area in the northwest corner of North America labeled "Alaska." Palin's relationship with the mapmaking industry is currently under investigation.

*Real name unconfirmed at press time

Previous election: Dan Rather: "Prove I'm Not Queen of the Space Unicorns"