Mother, May I Sleep with Treacher?

Also, there will be no interruption in the ample flow of insufferability

Delightful:

Dear World:

The United States of America , your quality supplier of ideals of liberty and democracy, would like to apologize for its 2001-2008 service outage.

The technical fault that led to this eight-year service interruption has been located, and the software responsible was replaced Tuesday night, November 4. Early tests of the newly-installed program indicate that we are now operating correctly, and we expect it to be fully functional by mid-January.

We apologize for any inconvenience caused by the outage, and we look forward to resuming full service — and hopefully even to improve it in years to come.

Thank you for your patience and understanding,

The USA

That's right, Bush took away your liberty and Obama is going to give it back. Just don't ask any questions.

A friendly chat with the liberal who lives in my head

Hello, reductive straw man I've slapped together for my own nefarious ends.

Greetings, wingnut hillbilly dimwit.

Indeed. Now that we've dispensed with the formalities, please watch this clip from a speech President-Elect Barack H. Obama gave last July and tell me what you think it means:

Whoa. What's the deal?

That? Oh, he's just talking about expanding the Peace Corps and AmeriCorps and programs like that. Factcheck.org said so.

Yeah? That's weird, because those aren't security forces. He specifically said "civilian national security force." Factcheck waves that phrase away as if he didn't actually say it, but he clearly did. It sounds pretty ominous even if you put it in context. Heck, especially if you put it in context. A "civilian national security force" that's as powerful as the U.S. military doesn't sound much like the Peace Corps to me.

Well. But he didn't really mean it.

He said it in a campaign speech.

Politicians say all kinds of things they don't mean. Duh!

Okay. Then who was he trying to impress?

Huh?

He said it in a campaign speech. He was trying to get people to vote for him. Who was he trying to impress with that?

Well... voters!

Yes, you adorable little scamp, but specifically: Who? What voters think we need a "civilian national security force" that's just as powerful and well-funded as our military? Which is, much to your chagrin, incredibly powerful and well-funded.

Um... young people?

Young people. The youth of America are itching to join Obama's private army. Okay, let's say you're right. Why do they want that?

They want that because...

Go on.

Because, y'know... they... Look, just because he said it doesn't mean he actually meant it!

There's no reason he'd say it unless he actually meant it. It wasn't in his prepared speech, and we all know what happens when he goes off-teleprompter: He starts saying what he really thinks. If only Joe the Plumber had been there to ask him to expand on it.

Man, you wingers are really something. You crybabies lose an election and you just can't handle it. Now you're calling him a power-hungry thug before he's even sworn in!

Your words, not mine. And I'm pretty sure a presidential candidate's public statements are fair game for analysis. Especially considering that he's never explained exactly what he meant by this. Because nobody in the media has asked. The people who would be affected by such a development deserve to know what he's planning, don't they?

...

Or would this "civilian national security force" be responsible for making sure we don't ask such questions? As Winston Churchill said, "No socialist system can be established without a political police."

...

Hello?

...

You still there? Did y--

RACIST!!!

(thx 4 the reminder, LauraW)

Pass it on:

Those who can't bomb, teach. Those who can't teach, teach Obama.

You know how I serve my community?

By obeying the laws and paying the taxes. So hey, what's wrong with more of both?

But even that's not enough, apparently.

This seemed too good to just leave in Breda's comments

I'm pretty much past being bummed about the election, and I'm choosing to view this whole thing as a real-time comedy/reality show. How hard will they have to twist themselves into knots to avoid admitting Obama made a mistake? Did Palin use too many ketchup packets at lunch today? Hey, Biden's eyes are now on the sides of his head. It's an interesting look, don't you think?

Ambling through the grocery store today, looking at all the faces, black, white, and otherwise, I felt a weird sort of elation. Like a weight being lifted, but something more: Soon they'll know. I don't have to keep trying to tell them. They will look back on these days of calm and plenty, and they'll realize what they've done. And so will I.

So I got that goin' for me.

Breda is great! And armed.

P.S. Er, I said that, not Breda. I left it in her comments. Sorry, I worded that vaguely. She really is great, though.

Anybody wanna buy some tulips?

The swooning frenzy over the choice of Barack Obama as President of the United States must be one of the most absurd waves of self-deception and swirling fantasy ever to sweep through an advanced civilisation.

I really don’t see how the Obama devotees can ever in future mock the Moonies, the Scientologists or people who claim to have been abducted in flying saucers. This is a cult like the one which grew up around Princess Diana, bereft of reason and hostile to facts.
-- Peter Hitchens

Just to put things in perspective

It has been 21 months since Barack Obama announced his candidacy for President of the United States.

It has been four weeks since Joe Wurzelbacher asked Barack Obama about his tax plan.

Which man do you know more about?

Law Enforcement Finally Interested in Obama's Neighbors

Obama's Heightened Security Turns Neighborhood Into Virtual Fortress

Now does he get to ask questions about them?

Our long national nightmare is over: Joe the Plumber just paid off his tax lien.

Oh, and the government functionary who abused her power in order to investigate him has been put on paid leave. Congratulations, taxpayers of Ohio. Your inquisitors can be assured of a soft landing. On your dime.

Paranoia or prophecy?

Based on what I've seen over the last two months, this seems all too plausible.

Another silver lining in all this is that at least we, the people (who've been paying attention) have an idea what this guy is all about. I've been inching my way through Alinsky's Rules for Radicals, and I encourage you to do the same. We need to understand who we're dealing with. And after that, I figure I'll finally get around to reading The Communist Manifesto. What, I shouldn't vet his lovely wife?

Still no apologies to Joe the Plumber over at Ze Frank

Demanding forgiveness without acknowledging your wrongdoing is just another way of suppressing dissent, as far as I'm concerned.

But I did like this one:

It's labeled _funny_jackassery.jpg. I'm not sure if the submitter labeled it that way. If not, maybe "funny" is the conciliatory part.

Speaking of standards of human decency so basic that it depresses me to even need to explain them: It's great that Obama told his supporters not to boo McCain. But I'd be much more impressed if he'd told them not to investigate and defame Joe the Plumber. As a great man once said: "History is made at night. Character is what you do in the dark." When it came to standing up for one of his future constituents, even though the guy had the nerve to ask an honest question, Obama voted Present.

P.S. And my two comments at Ze Frank's blog don't seem to be going through. Which is his prerogative, of course. Maybe he's got a filter set for "plumber"?

P.P.S. And now Ze Frank has taken down the above pic. Again, his prerogative. Just seems worth noting.

Imani the Canvasser

Looks like a certain Indianapolis TV station isn't too fond of its broadcast license...

So, over the next four years, can we expect empty promises, inept bureaucracy, and unconvincing excuses? [Insert hollow Obama catchphrase here]

(thx, dave)

My letter to Ze Frank...

...regarding from 52 to 48 with love, which is his answer to 2004's unintentionally hilarious Sorry, Everybody. You know, the stupid site where people sent in pictures of themselves holding up signs apologizing to the world for not electing John Kerry. Except they're not sorry anymore, of course, because this time they won, and now everybody should just hold hands and do whatever Obama says. Well, here's the thing:

From: Me
To: Ze Frank
Subject: It's a noble idea, but actions speak louder than words

It's going to take a lot for me to get over the way Palin and Joe the Plumber have been treated, and I know I'm not alone in being skeptical about Obama's rhetoric. There's nothing like moving us all past the race issue by constantly reminding us you're black.

But in the spirit of oneness and Kumbaya and all that, I'll give you a better name for your project at no charge:

Rally, Everybody!

Thanks for your graciousness in victory, I guess,
Jim
http://jimtreacher.com

There's nothing easier than telling the guy you just beat that he should forget the depths you plumbed to do so.

And I forgot to mention the whole deal with, y'know, the last 8 years of lefty rage? It's just become such a part of the scenery, you almost forget sometimes. Plus Obama's voter fraud and credit-card fraud and constant lies about his past and false accusations of racism and the fact that he's already making far-left appointments and he wants to shut down talk radio because he can't handle criticism and all that other silly stuff we all need to get past now because we're going to need to work extra hard to pay for our own oppression. Whoops, there I go again!

P.S. I just remembered that, oh, right around this time four years ago, Matt Welch -- who was one of the guys who inspired me to blog, and who until that time seemed to enjoy my silliness -- decided he didn't like me anymore because I made fun of Sorry, Everybody. I stunk, suddenly, because I persisted in mocking lefty morons "regardless of who actually holds power in this country." The idea being that humor only works when it's directed toward authority figures, apparently.

So, great news, Matt: It's finally okay to like me again!

P.P.S. Sorry, everybody, it wouldn't have been the Sorry, Everybody stuff that Matt objected to. That came a few days later, now that I look at the datestamps on everything. (This is the Internet, and I can fact-check my ass!) No, I probably disappointed Matt with my heartless laughter at this poor fellow and this well-intentioned young man, both of whom were publicly protesting the mechanisms of democracy for failing to produce the result they desired. Well, upon further consideration... I still think that $#!+ is funny!

"Gary Coleman comes to mind"

Palin is great. Jindal seems pretty cool. But you know who I want the Republicans to nominate in 2012? This guy. I'd like to cast my ballot for him today, as is now our custom, apparently.

P.S. Other African-Americans who would be more acceptable as President: Al Sharpton, Flavor Flav, and the Pine-Sol lady.

A scene from Robert Gibbs' first White House press conference

According to the Obamico, Obama's lovely and talented communications director will serve as his administration's first White House Press Secretary. This is gonna be awesome!

Gibbs: [Points] "Yes, Helen Thomas. Hello, good to see-- um, good to have you here, Helen."

Thomas: "Thank you." [coughs up cloud of dust] "I have a question and a followup: Why is Obama so amazing? And, is 'amazing' really adequate? Is there any word in any human language that can truly describe him?" [begins convulsing in ecstacy and croaking out steady stream of glossolalia]

Gibbs: [Joins her]

The hard-hitting news is about to get even more hard-hittingly hard-hitting.

"National Unity My Butt" followup

And we can call ourselves NUMBskulls!

Still working out the bugs on the whole wealth-spreading deal

Obama campaign workers angry over unpaid wages

Indianapolis - Lines were long and tempers flared Wednesday not to vote but to get paid for canvassing for Barack Obama. Several hundred people are still waiting to get their pay for last-minute campaigning. Police were called to the Obama campaign office on North Meridian Street downtown to control the crowd.

The line was long and the crowd was angry at times.

"I want my money today! It's my money. I want it right now!" yelled one former campaign worker.

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible...

Do any of those racists at The Onion have tax liens? Or go by their middle names?

Hope...

...I'm wrong about the content of this man's character.

And that we can all react to this loss just a little bit better than our ever-dependable friends did four years ago.

Another reason to vote McCain/Palin

You can help spoil the big party they're planning for a guy who hasn't gotten the job:

It's probably not surprising that a lot of Barack Obama's biggest celebrity supporters -- both from Hollywood and the music world -- were clamoring for VIP invites to tonight's big rally in Grant Park.

While the Democratic nominee and his staff are thankful for both the big checks and outspoken expressions of support from all those famous faces, I've learned from a key Obama insider that a number of big-time boosters have been told politely -- but very firmly -- to stay away tonight...

''There really only needs to be one star in Grant Park, and that's Barack,'' said the source, a high-profile elected official who spoke on the condition of anonymity, since he's not authorized to speak for the campaign on this issue.

How about no stars? I like that idea even better.

And yet I keep seeing all this stuff about how the Obama campaign doesn't want to act like he's already won. As if he hasn't been doing that since the minute he elbowed Hillary down the basement steps and was all like, "What? I was just stretching."

If you think I'm optimistic about McCain/Palin...

...I read HillBuzz and feel guilty that I haven't been doing more. Their latest, which is giving me energy this morning, is Five Reasons Obama Lost This Election:

(1) The Obamedia’s Attacks on Joe the Plumber
(2) Bitter, Gun-and-Religion-Clinging Small Town America
(3) Obamedia’s Nonstop Love Affair With Obama
(4) Obama’s Constant Playing of the Race Card
(5) PUMAs and Sarah Palin

Gotta read 'em all! Here's just a taste:

[Tonight], all of these "journalists" will be hemming and hawing as states like Pennsylvania go red for McCain, and absolute fools like Chuck Todd and Ben Smith will claim "no one saw this coming" when, in fact, a whole lot of someones saw this coming... and we all identify with Joe the Plumber, not Chris Matthews the Blathering Idiot...

The Obamedia, of course, will be completely shocked, but enough people read what we write here to hold these reporters accountable. If a bunch of amateurs in Chicago could figure out the true impact of Joe the Plumber on the electorate, then why couldn't actual "journalists"?

November 5th, someone needs to answer that.

Call me delusional all you want, but this just feels right to me. A lot of people are bothered by Obama's tactics and record, no matter how much the media tries to cover for him. It's just a matter of getting out there and performing your civic duty.

I just voted. Have you? If not, why are you still reading this? Get going! And remember:

Ignore the exit polls. They were wrong in 2004. Do not let them keep you from voting.

They've finally given me a good reason to hate Joe the Plumber

No, not because his first name is Sam. No, not because he owes some taxes he didn't know about until Obama's oppo researchers went after him. No, not because of any of the other stuff they've thrown at him to try to distract from The One's publicly avowed socialist beliefs.

I think I hate him now because he might have become close friends with this SNL cast member:

Lucky (allegedly) bastard! Well, he made Obama show his ass, so why couldn't he make Kristen Wiig show hers?

Gee, ya think?

Slate's John Dickerson asks:

If Obama Loses, Who Gets Blamed?
His loss would be disastrous for the media and political establishment.

Not that they're doing so hot as it is, but yeah. All the more reason to get out there tomorrow and vote for McCain/Palin.

Oh, and Mr. Dickerson?

"Don't be hoodwinked," [Obama] said of McCain's claims, a standard line, to which he added a less regular filigree: "Don't be bamboozled, don't fall for the okey-doke."

Since you're Slate's "chief political correspondent," undoubtedly you know that the calm, unflappable, middle-of-the-road Obama got that "hoodwinked and bamboozled" stuff from Malcolm X. I had to Google "the okey-doke" thing, but here's how the Austin Chronicle described it last February:

Obama's references to "the okey doke" seemed to baffle some commentators, although it's an old American (especially African-American) term for a feint, a juke, a balletic sidestep that dodges the direct attacks of an opponent and instead turns his own arguments and momentum against him.

See, that's how Obama is bringing us all together and marching us toward a post-racial future: by using racially coded language to divide people, in exactly the way he falsely accuses his opponent of doing. Okey-doke, boss!

If you're not voting for Obama, he's got a message for you

Just kidding. It's actually his way of congratulating John McCain on his campaign:

"But it's just an accident! An isolated incident!", you screech. "He's not really a sullen child who lashes out passive-aggressively when somebody stands in his way!" Well, he's certainly racked up quite a history of such "accidental isolated incidents" in a short period of time. This fits right into his established pattern of behavior. Just ask the PUMAs if they think it's an accident when Obama's middle finger comes out to punctuate his point about a rival:

Dear Obamabots:

If you want us to stop "distracting people from the real issues" -- even though you also complain when we bring up real issues like Obama's tax plan, his economic theories, where he gets his ideas, where he gets his money, where he gets his votes, etc. -- you might want to convince your hero to stop flipping people off in public.

Yours Truly,
The Adults

Josh the Choker

Oof. Tipping your hand there, Josh, don't you think? Well, pressure makes people do strange things. Such as telling the truth in public about their socialistic views.

BTW, I screencapped the whole post so I couldn't be accused of taking Josh out of context.

Quoting presidential candidates at length is racist

Unless he's got the plans for a cold-fusion reactor hidden amongst his medical records and college records and all the other records he refuses to release, I'm not sure how he's going to bring about any sort of "change" that doesn't involve freezing to death in your own darkened house. Although I suppose balking at soaring energy costs is "selfish" too. Not to mention, as with every other substantive criticism of our pal Barry, racist.

Funny how he only says this kind of stuff in San Francisco. That's where he gave us that other nugget of gold about Pennsylvanians "clinging to guns and religion."

Speaking of San Fran (which is what I call it because I know they don't like it), has anybody there ever asked Obama why he's against gay marriage? I think Charles Karel Bouley might be interested in that one. Remember Bouley? He's the SF radio jackass who said Tony Snow deserved to get cancer, and then mewled about not being congratulated for his bravery in saying so. Now Bouley wants Joe the Plumber dead.

Once again: If Obama's such a shoo-in, why are his supporters losing the last remaining fragments of their minds?

If you click this image, you are a racist

You're also a racist if you:

• Fact-check the NYT by consulting the archives of the NYT
• Put up a lawn sign that has not been approved by the staff of your local alt-weekly (who then whine about public reaction to the publishing of your address)
• Don't appreciate the government investigating you for asking questions of a politician
• Think credit card fraud is wrong
• Think voter registration fraud is wrong
• Think hiding a candidate's public record from the people who are trying to decide whether to vote for him is wrong
• Aren't voting for Obama

No We Can't

The Times of London, which won our hearts by calling Obama's infomercial a "mawkish weepathon," now gives us a glimpse into the mind of the Messiah:

Barack Obama's senior advisers have drawn up plans to lower expectations for his presidency if he wins next week's election, amid concerns that many of his euphoric supporters are harbouring unrealistic hopes of what he can achieve...

One senior adviser told The Times that the first few weeks of the transition, immediately after the election, were critical, "so there's not a vast mood swing from exhilaration and euphoria to despair".

Isn't it customary to win the election before you start telling your followers not to get their hopes up? If there's one thing Americans love, it's an arrogant scold telling them to simmer down.

This might be the line of the campaign

TedInATL:

When it comes to the economy, Obama can see the Soviet Union from his house.

Good news: At this rate, eventually you'll be considered rich!

Bill Clinton: Obama "Probably Won't Destroy America"

Kissimmee, FL -- During a joint appearance Wednesday with Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama, former President Bill Clinton came out with his strongest endorsement yet.

"This guy," Clinton began, before a significant pause. "What can you say about this guy? What. Can. Ya say."

With Sen. Obama smiling on at his side, Clinton continued: "As you all know, we had a tough fight earlier this year. Hillary and I, that is. Against the wonderful Barack Obama, I mean. And he won. I know, I get it. We allllll get it.

"And now... here I am. How about that."

After a smattering of applause, Clinton added, "Hey, one thing you won't have to worry about over the next four years? Having a president who's smarter than you. If you've ever felt intimidated by your commander-in-chief's superior command of the facts... well, that's not exactly gonna be a problem, is it? If you don't want the guy in the Oval Office reminding you of his experience and qualifications all the time: done deal.

"So, congratulations on that one."

Speaking over the cracking of the wooden podium under his grip, Clinton closed out his comments: "Look, if you're worried about dying of poverty or at the hands of a foreign enemy who senses our country's newfound weakness, I'd put it at... what? 60/40 against? I could go as high as 62. This genius over here probably won't destroy America."

As he knocked over the podium and left the stage without making eye contact with Sen. Obama, Clinton could be heard humming the 1985 Robert Palmer hit "Addicted to Love."

Previously:
Biden Clarifies Earlier Remarks on His Dread of an Obama Administration

Don't want your taxes to go up? Barack Obama thinks you're selfish

Seriously. If you think you have a better idea what to do with your own money than the government does, you should be ashamed of yourself. Obama is saying that. In public. After the events of the last three weeks.

And yet McCain is supposed to be in trouble?

I like Hillary's supporters. That's right, I said it!

If you read only one blog post between now and Election Day, please make it this one at HillBuzz. These guys (or gals, or whoever they are) have seen Obama's mind games in the primaries, and they know the tricks he and his drones are trying to play on us:

(1) Calls for McCain to just give up and quit, because the race is over.

(2) Wild claims of Obama winning states that shock and surprise you.

(3) Repeated insistence that blacks and young people will decide this election, and they are all going to vote in record numbers for Obama.

They explain why you shouldn't believe these things, or believe in their importance, just because Obama desperately wants you to believe them. If he can't get you to vote for him, he's trying to get you to stay home Nov. 4. If you let him tell you what to do, then you'd better get used to it.

As HillBuzz says:

If you, collectively, can keep Republicans and other McCain voters from falling for these, we believe there’s nothing Obama can do to win this election. The ONLY way McCain loses is if you Eeyores allow the media to keep you from the polls.

Pass it on.

Another sign of Obama's inevitability

Fabulously wealthy celebrities are threatening to leave the country if he loses. Why would they say that if they thought such a thing was even possible?

Correction to the above-linked article, since the LAT can't afford editors anymore: Stephen Baldwin threatened to leave the country if Obama wins. And I'm pretty sure he was mocking all those other dopes.

How about Joe the Plaintiff?

Checks on Joe the Plumber more extensive than first acknowledged

Ask a question, and the government will retaliate. With the eager cooperation of the press. This is the future these guys want.

Question for Obama voters: How do you rationalize away all the evidence that your hero has done more to suppress free speech in the last 2 months than Bush has done in the last 8 years?

Followup: Is the cognitive dissonance making you crazier than you already were, or is your preexisting craziness helping you escape the reality of your own debasement?

At this point, I wouldn't be surprised

Beldar addresses Obama's tiny little credit-card fraud issue:

"The Obama-Biden campaign might just as well have set up dumpsters all over the world into which illegal donors could dump shopping bags full of cash donations made in unmarked small bills."

Noticing the brazen, arrogant malfeasance on the part of this presidential campaign is racist.

Introducing: Li'l Obama!

The great Batton Lash does it again (with a little help from yours truly). After the jump:

Previous Batton fun here, here, and here. And check out his fine comicky goodness at exhibitapress.com!

P.S. Feel free to post this on your own blog, but please don't hotlink it.

P.P.S. I totally forgot: Happy Birthday, Batton!

P.P.P.S. "I'm not quite sure if this is just crass or racist or both." Well, it's about Obama's own public statements. So of course it's crass! And it's drawn to resemble him. So of course it's racist!

Did Obama just lose Florida?

Can you say anything you want, as long as it's phrased as a question? If so, do you have the media to thank for that technique?

Doug Ross has received a tip from somebody (inside the L.A. Times?) who he says has given him good information before. The tipster says:

Saw a clip from the tape. Reason we can't release it is because statements Obama said to rile audience up during toast. He congratulates Khalidi for his work saying "Israel has no God-given right to occupy Palestine" plus there's been "genocide against the Palestinian people by Israelis."

It would be really controversial if it got out. That's why they will not even let a transcript get out.

So now let's all watch the LAT deny this, without providing the very evidence that would disprove it. If you ran a newspaper that was accused of hiding something like this, and you had the evidence to shove in your accusers' faces, I'll bet you could come up with a better excuse for withholding it. Let alone four lame excuses in a row. Why not just publish a photograph of the tape being eaten by a dog?

Forget the Great Schlep. This could be the Great Plotz.

P.S. Over at Dirty Harry's Place, the reward for the tape has gone up to $200,000. And apparently it's real money.

P.P.S. A former LAT reporter writes to the LAT:

"The moment a journalist says he is using a secret report to validate his work, and then refuses to reveal the full contents of the report, he is guilty of the kind of conduct that deservedly brought Sen. Joseph McCarthy to disgrace."

People sure do want the L.A. Times to start doing its job

It's turning into quite a payday for the brave soul, John or Jane the Whistleblower, who produces a copy of this tape everybody's talking about. Go to Dirty Harry's Place and scroll down.

And think back to, oh, right around this time 8 years ago. What was the big story?

Bush Acknowledges 1976 DUI Charge
November 2, 2000

We get it, media geniuses: If the guy's a Republican, then it's entirely relevant to bring up a misdemeanor from a quarter-century before. Big, big news. Gotta get it out there. But if the guy's a Democrat, then a five-year-old tape of him partying with a PLO flunky -- not to mention William Ayers and Bernardine Dohrn, the Steve & Eydie of insane America-haters -- is ancient history. Just another distraction.

But then, you guys have minimized or outright ignored many, many other stories that could reflect badly on Obama. Why should you treat his eager participation in a Jew-bashing bash any differently?

Go ahead, LAT. Keep it to yourself and let us imagine the worst.

P.S. And to all you other [9-letter word that rhymes with "sickbeds"]: If you can twist a diplomatically worded 90-second greeting on video into a ludicrous claim that Palin is a secessionist, we can bring up Obama's active, in-person participation in this event. And that goes double for the repellent cave creature who's always interrupting Hannity.

P.P.S. And: "Two-thirds of the record-breaking haul Obama raised for the final stretch of the campaign comes from a racket set up to facilitate fake names, phony addresses and untraceable cards." Move along. Nothing to see here. Buy your tickets for the coronation or your name will be put on the watchlist. And now, here's the half-hour prime time infomercial, paid for by None of Your Business.

P.P.P.S. Do you suppose this Obama/Khalidi tape would be news to the victims of The Great Schlep?

Will Vote 4 Food

Judge rules Ohio homeless voters may list park benches as addresses

Obama is inevitable, huh?

Mocking false accusations of racism is racist

The great Batton Lash looks at ATTYNSTSAO (All The Things You're Not Supposed To Say About Obama). The cartoon's a little wider than my blog margins, so it's after the jump:

Check out Batton's site, exhibitapress.com!

Say...

NRO:

Let's try a thought experiment. Say John McCain attended a party at which known racists and terror mongers were in attendance. Say testimonials were given, including a glowing one by McCain for the benefit of the guest of honor ... who happened to be a top apologist for terrorists. Say McCain not only gave a speech but stood by, in tacit approval and solidarity, while other racists and terror mongers gave speeches that reeked of hatred for an American ally and rationalizations of terror attacks.

Now let’s say the Los Angeles Times obtained a videotape of the party.

Let's say you read the rest. Say this is highly reminiscent of the way the LAT turned a blind eye to the Rielle Hunter story, except this one actually matters to you and me. Say it's no wonder the LAT just laid off 10% of their staff.

Say we don't need these unethical bums anymore to find out the truth.

P.S. Even more bad news for the LAT: Patterico.com is back.

Mark Levin is analyzing the latest Obama audio right now

Listen. (XM Ch. 166, Sirius Ch. 144, syndicated stations & times here)

Reality keeps confirming that kuh-razy ol' right-wing rhetoric

The polls are crap.

Obama is a socialist -- I repeat: a socialist, a guy who thinks the government doesn't have enough control over you -- who tries to repress free speech and pals around with terrorists.

The media is willing to betray its own ideals, not to mention sacrifice its own well-being, to cover up Obama's misdeeds via obfuscation or just plain suppression of the truth.

Nothing to see here, folks. Just do as you're told, and Obama will make everything okay. He controls the tides. He'll give you free lollipops for life. Don't ask questions and nobody gets hurt.

P.S. Until the Obama campaign manages to take this down:

P.P.S. Full transcript.

P.P.P.S. HillBuzz, AKA the people who've experienced firsthand how low the Obama campaign will go, has some good advice: "We can make Obama's socialist admission viral."

From cop-killer to cop-caller

I don't like Bill O'Reilly. Usually I can't watch him for more than a few minutes unless he puts Mary Katherine Ham on the screen with him. (Sometimes he even lets her finish a sentence!) But he is to be commended for being the first guy to even look for William Ayers:

What does Joe the Plumber do when you stick a microphone in his face? He acknowledges you. He answers your questions.

Because he hasn't done anything wrong.

They've all gone after a guy who fixes pipes to distract us from the guy who used them to blow stuff up. Before he realized he could do a lot more damage to America with a stealth bomb wrapped in a $1,500 suit and remote-controlled by a teleprompter.

Time to defuse it.

Hey, why did you donate to Obama?

Recently it's been alleged that the Obama campaign has disabled online security settings that would prevent illegal credit card donations, thus opening the doors for massive fraud. Which, Obama's detractors claim, is why he's raised an unprecedented amount of wealth that he's spreading around to advertising agencies, television networks, video game manufacturers, and anybody else who'll put his name, face, and soothing words on something.

I decided to look past the spin and ask the folks who really know what's going on: the donors themselves. Here's what a few of them said!

• "I donated because America is ready for a change." -- Spider Mann
• "Anything I can do to help. He's handsome and he makes me feel happy inside." -- Paul Bunyan
• "You mean you haven't seen him dance?" -- Al J. Zira
• "McCain is super-old. Why isn't he young? I like 'em young." -- Cruella de Vil
• "I've always been a fan of slogans I don't need to think about too much." -- P.W. Herman
• "If my $199 donation under a different name every 10 minutes can't save our country, I don't know what can." -- Hugh G. Rection
• "What's wrong with being social? Besides: Social Security. Hello?" -- K. Powers
• "It is least I can do for nation I am loving so much, my longtimes home since to be, ehhhhh, birth: the America." -- V. Putin
• "I feel guilty about not paying enough taxes." -- Arthur Fonzarelli
• "Did you see the shoes that c*** was wearing?" -- Dora T. Explorer
• "I'm sick of being called a racist." -- Auric Goldfinger
• "Thees keed's got the goods!" -- Fidel C.
• "After 8 long years, it's finally time for some transparency in government." -- Captain Silly Ppppbbhht

And another right-wing smear bites the dust. Nice try, wingnuts!

How to prove Barack Obama is not a socialist in 5 easy steps

1. Give a dictionary definition of socialism.
2. Ignore how Obama's uncharacteristically honest answer to Joe the Plumber (whoops, no teleprompter!) dovetails with The One's well-documented longtime friendships and working relationships with a bunch of radical socialists.
3. "A Republican did something that could be called socialist, which means Obama isn't an even bigger one."
4. Point to a phony poll and claim the message isn't connecting with voters.
5. Hit Send.

What's $5.3 million divided by $150,000?

The Temple of Barack cost $5.3 million. That's how much the DNC spent on the ridiculously overblown backdrop to Obama's dumb acceptance speech that nobody could even remember 24 hours later. Too bad they didn't add a few more Greek columns, or we could call it the Six Million Dollar Sham.

And I don't see him traveling with that set. (At least Spinal Tap got some use out of their Stonehenge.) Is the DNC auctioning it off for charity, like the RNC is going to do with the Palin family's campaign threads?

Perspective: 45 minutes of fascist iconography = Two months's worth of clothing for 35 Palin families. A subject, by the way, that you're only bringing up to distract people from Biden's public promise that if Obama is elected, we will be attacked.

The Palins aren't millionaires. She hasn't written two autobiographies about how great she is. She's not keeping the clothes. And now you guys have opened up this line of rebuttal. You really messed up.

Again.

Hey, maybe it'll be on SNL this week

Whatever you say, Opie, as long as you promise to pay my tax bills

This helpful reminder from Obama for America: Time is a bitch.

"I'm not telling you this as a Republican or a Democrat. I'm telling you this as an overpaid, underinformed circus clown."

And why's Ron so desperate? Why are the people who don't vote the way he wants us to vote "scared"? I thought Obama had nothing to worry about.

Obama is not a Democrat just because he says he is, anymore than a wolf is your grandma just because he’s wearing her bonnet

Something to remember the next time one of these Axelturfers says you're accusing all Democrats of being socialists. No, just the ones who espouse socialism.

Look: Obama was asked a simple question that he wasn't adequately prepared to answer falsely. And it confirmed what we'd already suspected from his long history with William Ayers and Saul Alinsky and ACORN and the other socialists who've shaped his view of the world. Deal with it.

As long as the Palin family's wardrobe budget is on the table, how about Obama's iffy donations?

Is his campaign involved in massive credit card fraud? (Please note how I framed it as a question, so I can make the accusation without consequences. Thanks for the helpful hint, media!)

Steyn is all over this today: here, here, here, here, here, and here. That last one is the most important one right now: Don't make a donation under a phony name to test it. They're already verified it.

If this is true, and Obama knows about it, I don't see how it can possibly matter. He was only 5 years old when MasterCard was founded.

P.S. And if it's true, does he still get to spend his ill-gotten gains on that primetime infomercial? Can he still afford the rent on the offices of the New York Times?

Yes We Hen

David Sedaris sure doesn't like undecided voters:

To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. "Can I interest you in the chicken?" she asks. "Or would you prefer the platter of s*** with bits of broken glass in it?"

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

Please note that in his own subtle, witty fashion, Sedaris just called Barack Obama a chicken. In the New Yorker. And he got away with it!

Do you suppose he had anything to do with this ad?

Sarah Palin's The Palin family's new wardrobe cost about as much as Obama's stupid Greek columns

Pass it on.

So, putting up a ridiculous stage set that made Obama look like a fascist jackass, and then packing it away after one night? That was fine. $140,000-150,000 well spent. But spending the same amount on enough clothes for two months on the campaign trail? That's the biggest scandal since... well, since all the other Palin scandals that weren't.

Have they made an attack on Palin yet that hasn't backfired? Do they think we won't know when it backfires, just because they don't report it on NBC?

P.S. Oh, and now it turns out that the money was to clothe her whole family. How about that. But I'm sure if the Palins were running around in what they wore before she got picked, none of these brainiacs would've had anything bad to say about that.

Did you know Obama's clothes descended from the heavens on a glowing golden cloud? Also, he's a radical socialist and his own running mate said he'll start another world war. But whatever.

P.P.S. That price tag was only for the columns themselves. The whole thing cost... you won't even believe it. If there's an axiom that sums up the Obama campaign, it's this: The more ridiculous something sounds, the more likely it is that it's true.

Finally, Obama says something that's demonstrably true

"Don't underestimate the capacity of Democrats to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Don't underestimate our ability to screw it up."

Is Biden rubbing off on him, or vice versa?

You bet I am

And if Obama gets elected and you stand in his way, or so much as refuse to avert your eyes, you'll be Joe the Plumber too.

Speaking of Obama's clothes...

The great Batton Lash weighs in on our new friend Joe the Plumber, who had no idea a mere 10 days ago that he'd ever plumb the depths of the media's shamelessness:

If you think there should be a fourth panel where Obama says something to try to stop it, you must know something the rest of us don't.

Previous Batton: Hope!

P.S. If you post this cartoon, please link to Batton's site, exhibitapress.com. He does some cool comics.

It's a bit awkward, but "pickpocket" would be [the R-word]

Palin dubs Obama: 'Barack the Wealth Spender'

But fine, I'll say it, for Google purposes: Barack the Pickpocket. Hey, if they're going to call you a racist no matter what, why not tell the truth?

Two ways you know McCain and Palin are saying something true about Obama

1. Somebody in the comments of a blog desperately insists McCain and Palin are lying and it's not going to work and nobody cares.
2. A media professional or other prominent Democrat calls it racist.

Misogynists for Obama

"The problem for Obama isn't ambition, it's hubris. A more grounded politician would have put in the work to match their aspirations. That Obama hasn't done that bespeaks a tremendous, even scary, overconfidence."

-- An adult

Oh wait, that quote is actually about Sarah Palin, and it's from Ezra Klein. I saw it at a great new site called frighteningprospect.com, which -- and I might need to double-check this -- leans a bit to the left. Here's how they're combating the scary, scary hate speech (that never actually happened) from the evil Republicans:

Please send this to every undecided voter you know. If this doesn't convince them one way or another, I don't know what will.

P.S. And remember, if somebody yells "Tell 'im!" at a Palin rally, and a very stupid reporter either mishears it or outright distorts it as a threat, that's right-wing hate speech from hateful right-wing haters who lean to the right. That's national news. But this kind of crap, it's just "on the fringe."

You want to wear a t-shirt that says Sarah Palin is a See You Next Tuesday? Hey, this is America. You want to hurt a defenseless woman for daring to hold a McCain/Palin sign? Ahhh, no big deal. Want to trick McCain into a photo shoot for a national magazine, and then use the pictures for the vilest propaganda imaginable? Artistic license. Want to say "F*** all y'all" to an entire political party on your former comedy show? Brave social commentary. Want to plaster up signs in public places depicting Palin as a bloodthirsty ghoul? Youthful exuberance.

Want to yell "Tell 'im!" at a political rally? You racist. You Nazi. You Republican.

Still planning to vote for Him?

Read this.

In which I give Obama a bad rap

A little over a month ago -- time flies! -- I shared a rap I wrote for Obama to help him remind America that John McCain is a war hero with crippling torture injuries. Apparently the Obama campaign has dropped that tactic for some reason, but given all the events since then, I thought I'd have another go at helping him out.

Barry, please feel free to spit this educational rhyme at your next speech, rally, or Black Liberation Theology reading group:

Well! My! Name is Barack and I'm gonna raise your taxes
Intimidated media won't tell ya what the facts is

That plumber was a bummer when his question caused a schism
'Tween the folks who like their paychecks and the fans of socialism

I hung out with a terrorist for 10 or 20 years
But don't you bring it up, or I'll holla "Fight the Smears!"

You racists try to stop me with your bigotry and hate
Just because my bestest buddies used to laugh at Sharon Tate

I've spent a half a billion on an advertising blitz
But according to the polls I worship, it ain't doin' $#!+

I'm getting mad donations and I'm gonna get some mo'
From my man Good Will and my buddy Doodad Pro

My campaign calls your house all day and bugs you while you're eatin'
And ACORN ain't about to stop the unrepentant cheatin'

I smirk, I'm a jerk, and I work within the system
To bring about a class war that will crush capitalism

Alinsky is a prophet and I think you oughta listen
I'll send an "Action Wire" if you even try to diss him

It's only a coincidence I'm going into hidin'
After weeks of harsh attacks by an imbecile named Biden

So don't you mess with me or I'll vet ya till you're quiet
And if I'm not elected, then there's gonna be a riot

PEACE!!

What. They did it to Palin. Was mine as good?

Sick grandma.

Okay.

But Obama was only 40 years old when Ayers said this

Regrets? He's had a few, but then again: "Is it one of those regrets that I took extreme measures against the United States at a time of tremendous crisis? No, it is not. I don't regret that."

Palin is supposed to be held responsible when somebody at one of her rallies yells "Tell 'im!" and a reporter, The Man in the Orange Hat, hears "Kill 'im!" And we're supposed to believe Obama didn't know anything about his close friend and colleague William Ayers publicly bragging about his crimes.

This is kind of like the Rielle Hunter media coverup, except with the orphaned offspring of murdered police officers.

Do you still subscribe to a newspaper? If so, why?

I'd say "cut it out," but you know how I feel about puns

Quick note to the jerks who don't understand that there are plenty of legitimate ways to oppose Obama's supporters: If you slash their tires, they can't go away.

Good thing he missed his flight that morning, huh?

Family Guy's Seth MacFarlane compares McCain and Palin to the Nazis.

Ask me again why I'm not worried.

Is mentioning that Obama wants to raise your taxes a distraction from the economy?

I admit, I don't really understand the whole Freddie & Fannie thing. I know it has to do with people being encouraged to buy mortgages they couldn't afford, and that the politicians who made that possible are now telling me they're the only ones who can fix it. And I know it's causing big problems with the economy, with lots of huge numbers being thrown around. But it's all a bit abstract.

Having to pay taxes? That I understand. Being told I should pay more so that somebody who's even lazier than I am can get a handout? That I understand.

And I understand not wanting to be crucified for asking about it.

Did Obama really start his political career in the living room of a radical socialist cop-killer?*

Patterico, a name whispered in solemn tones within the increasingly lonely halls of the Los Angeles Times, has dug up evidence that Obama did in fact get his start in the home of William Ayers and Bernadette Dohrn. More specifically, evidence that somebody's trying to scrub that fact from the Internet. If it's not true, why try to hide it? Why not update the post and just say, "You know, I remembered that wrong. Never mind."

You need to decide, Obama fans: Either this stuff didn't happen, or it happened but I'm not supposed to care that he lied about it. You need to pick one or the other and stick with that.

P.S. Patterico has a screenshot of the now-deleted post from the Musings & Migraines blog, which is still archived here. And in the interest of "information wanting to be free" (thanks, lefties!), here's the full text:

Thursday, January 27, 2005
Get to know Barack Obama
When I first met Barack Obama, he was giving a standard, innocuous little talk in the livingroom of those two legends-in-their-own-minds, Bill Ayers and Bernardine Dohrn. They were launching him--introducing him to the Hyde Park community as the best thing since sliced bread. His "bright eyes and easy smile" struck me as contrived and calculated--maybe because I was supporting another candidate. Since then, I've never heard him say anything new or earthshaking, or support anything that would require the courage of his convictions. I only voted for him in this last race--because his opponent was a pinhead. And I've been mostly alone in my views. But maybe that's changing.

Thanks, Barack. By voting to confirm Condoleezza Rice for Secretary of State you confirmed my opinion of you as someone who will not come through when it counts. You voted with the entire Republican membership rather than your compadre, Dick Durbin, and the man you supported for president, John Kerry. Your sense of collegiality is ridiculous under the circumstances.

What are all those people who thought you walked on water thinking now? I'm just wondering who's going to whisper in President CandyAss's ear when Condo's busy playing Secretary of State.

Back in January 2005, what possible reason would this woman have to make this up? Did she just pick three names at random?

P.P.S. Considering the events of the last two months: If you think this story is important, I highly encourage you to cut and paste the preceding quote onto your own blog, with a link to the archived copy. They can't stop all of us. Yet.

Here's the Google cache, in case that other one disappears.

*Sorry, make that two radical socialist cop-killers.

"Spread the wealth around"

Just a reminder that those are the four words Obama wants you to forget he ever said.

Hang in there, Joe. And get some rest, guys. Stay sharp.

Here's how to answer "Did you know the Annenberg Challenge was funded by a Republican and included many Republican leaders?"

"Well, how about that. Did you know the planes used on 9/11 weren't built by terrorists?"

The sprawling skyscraper where Barack Obama and William Ayers worked together for years but never laid eyes on each other

"Yes, Ayers and I worked on the same floor, but don't all buildings have floors? Are we going to check all the floors in all the buildings? This is just a distraction from the distraction I'm trying to distract you with." And so on, and so forth.

Given Obama's proven fondness for the working man, perhaps this building has a custodian who can keep Joe the Plumber company under the bus. Not a lot of room left down there...

P.S. Better pic.

"We speak truth to plumber"

Steyn!

One correction: Joe wasn't on a rope line. He didn't go out of his way to accidentally expose Obama's big secret. Well, one of his big secrets. Obama quite literally came to Joe. And now David Axelrod is atoning for his very, very serious mistake -- letting Obama wander around in public without a script -- by sending his astroturfing kiddies all over the Internet to defame Joe and distract us all from Obama's publicly admitted socialism. Then those lies and half-truths and rumors get funnelled from the left-wing blogs to the "news." The exact same process they used, and are still using, to try to derail Palin.

I'm not the only one who can see this, right?

Archives are racist

It's not a Photoshop. Besides, if it's not important, why would you try to say it's a Photoshop? And he really is mentioned in the book. By the guy he barely knew well enough to say hi to when they worked in the same small office for three years.

I can just see it now: "These clippings are fake, and besides, I didn't really like the book as much as I claimed. I was only 35 when I didn't write that." Etc. Same thing with this Joe the Plumber smear campaign, and "100% of my opponent's ads are negative," and "I never heard Rev. Wright say a single bad thing in 20 years," and every other attempt to cover up something that might make voters think twice about Obama. He and his acolytes will say anything and make themselves believe anything.

The Obama Way: Just throw out every denial and non sequitur you can think of, even if they contradict each other. Scatter so much chaff that your opponents get distracted by all of it, and the people who aren't paying close enough attention eventually shrug and say, "He couldn't be that big of a liar, could he?" And do it with a calm, earnest tone and a serious look on your face to hypnotize morons like Christopher Buckley.

If you support Obama, please watch some TV Land and realize that you want to elect Eddie Haskell.

I have to believe that enough voters are seeing through his rhetorical tactics, and resisting his effort to turn our doubts about the content of his character into doubts about the color of his skin. Enough voters are catching on to make a difference. He can't brainwash everybody.

Can he?

P.S. On Oct. 8, Obama's communication director had this to say about the Obama/Ayers friendship to Sean Hannity and the other one:

HANNITY: Wait a minute. Wait, he did blurb his book, you know?

GIBBS: No.

Communication directed.

They are sweeping Obama's socialist answer to Joe Wurzelbacher's question under the rug

The Associated Press has a story about Joe's appearance on Mike Huckabee's new show on Fox News last night. Apparently Joe talked about how much fun he's not having as these rabid media freaks try to tear him apart. But the story totally skips over why they're trying to tear him apart:

Wurzelbacher became famous after he met Obama and said the Democrat's tax proposal could keep him from buying the two-man plumbing company where he works. However, reports of Wurzelbacher's annual earnings suggest he would receive a tax cut rather than an increase under Obama's plan.

Who's doing the suggesting? Beats me. Must have been suggested in the hourly instructions they get from the Obama campaign.

More importantly, there is no indication whatsoever of how Obama replied to the question. In case you missed it, this is what he said:

"It's not that I want to punish your success. I want to make sure that everybody who is behind you, that they've got a chance for success, too. My attitude is that if the economy's good for folks from the bottom up, it's gonna be good for everybody. I think when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody."

They can't repeat that, of course. They can't risk even more people finding out that Obama is a socialist. Even though it's the only real reason we're still even talking about Joe the Plumber.

It is completely bizarre. There's no stated explanation in the AP story why Joe's the target of this media assault. They're attacking him, you see, because they're attacking him.

Yeah, McCain mentioned him in the debate, fine. That doesn't explain why they're treating Joe like this. Is he the first person McCain's ever mentioned in a debate? Is he the first person who's ever asked a politician about taxes?

No. He's under assault because he happened to be there when Obama was caught without a teleprompter and started babbling about socialism in front of a TV camera.

We need to get in their faces. We need to say, "Why are you doing this?" We need to get them to admit it.

info@ap.org

P.S. Here's the interview (thx, michele). Huckabee gets it:

His story hasn't changed; we're just too dumb to get it straight

• "William Ayers is just a guy who lives in my neighborhood."
• "I talked to him now and then, but I had no idea what he had done until later. I will now repeat the phrase 'detestable acts' 27 times."
• "Yes, like I said, he launched my political career in his own living room and I knew about the bombings and stuff all along, but I thought he had been rehabilitated. I learned about it some time after we met, which we have yet to do."
• "Sure, we served on some boards together and spent tens of millions of other people's dollars on an 'education foundation' that would frighten any reasonable person who learned anything about it, which they won't because the press isn't interested and I have no knowledge of it. As I have maintained all along, and I'm surprised you're misremembering this, I've acknowledged that Ayers and I were colleagues. But I never knew about those despicable acts he acted upon despicably, which I condemned then and still do."
• "Did you know I was never actually a member of the Weather Underground? I resent that you're accusing me of something you're not accusing me of. That bad stuff happened 40 years ago, which means it couldn't possibly have repercussions now. Despicable acts are detestable and vice versa."
• "The fact that I wrote a newspaper blurb (accompanied by my picture) for one of Ayers' books, a book in which I was mentioned by name, has been known all along. I am filing a lawsuit against the GOP for spreading this disgraceful lie. You are getting very sleepy."
• "Did Bill Ayers and I work in the same office for three years? Of course we did. I've never denied that. And yes, it was a very small office, which [grins] was not illegal the last time I checked. But his desk was facing in a completely different direction than mine, and I wasn't even born yet when that building was constructed. Also, there are lots of buildings in Chicago. Look, this is boring. Can I be president now?"

Good question

"What, exactly, is so awful about 'spreading the wealth'?"

Oh, nothing.

Now that we've cleared that up, Mr. Cohn, I'll take yours. Gimme. I haven't earned it, but it's not fair that you have more than I do. Hand it over. No, you don't have any choice in the matter. No, you don't even know me. No, you don't know what I'm going to spend your money on. It's none of your business. Obama said I could have it. What are you, a racist? Cough it up. Show a little patriotism. There we go.

My letter to Jodi Kantor of the New York Times

From: Me
To: kantor@nytimes.com
Re: I've got a hot tip on Cindy McCain

She's got really pretty eyes. Do you think you can use that?

Well, it was worth a shot. In any case, thanks for trying to trick a teenage girl into helping you with your hatchet piece on her friend's mom by pretending to be friendly to her. All's fair, right?

I'm assuming you guys have time before the election to do a followup story on Cindy's surreptitious nosepicking or something. Unless you're still busy "vetting" Joe the Plumber's parking tickets, overdue DVD rentals, and whatever else you can dig up to distract us from Barack Obama's now-revealed radical socialism. Not to mention all the various other unsavory aspects of Obama's character and record that might prevent him from taking office if you weren't suppressing them. Good thing you guys did pinky swears!

Just kidding. A lot of people say that you folks know you're not going to be in business for much longer, so this might be your last chance to throw an election. They say you'll go to any lengths to protect the Democrat. Especially since he's a Democrat you can point to and say, "There. See? This proves I'm not a racist!" But I don't believe a word of it. You're just doing what you know in your heart is right.

Hey, did you know that the guy who has befriended and mentored Obama for decades, and even babysat his kids, is also responsible for the death of several cops? And he's still pretty pumped about it? Yawn!

Why don't you go ahead and have a great day.

Your pal,
Jim Treacher
http://jimtreacher.com

Obama is a socialist, and the press is going after Joe "The Plumber" Wurzelbacher as a way of distracting us from that

I don't have anything to add to it that I haven't said already. Just thought it was worth putting in big bold letters.

Joe "The Plumber" Wurzelbacher... sounds like a pro wrestler! And can you prove he's not one, you wingnuts?

My letter to Time Magazine

From: Me
To: letters@time.com
Re: Thank you for exposing the truth about Joe the Plumber

Does this mean Obama isn't really a socialist?

It's almost like you guys are digging through this ordinary working man's life to distract us from how Obama answered a simple, honest question about his tax plan. But why in the world would you do that? It's not like it would hurt Obama's chances if you focused on how, in his own words, he wants to take my money -- on top of what I'm paying to the government already -- and hand it to people who haven't earned it. And I don't get to choose how much he takes, or who it goes to. Because otherwise, Obama says, life isn't fair.

AKA socialism.

But no, this plumber is the real problem. Get him!

You guys had better buy a bigger coffee machine for your subscriptions department, if you can still afford it. They are going to be working overtime on this one.

Jim Treacher
http://jimtreacher.com

And the week's biggest victim of a hostile media is:

Barack Obama!

"I am convinced that if there were no Fox News, I might be two or three points higher in the polls. If I were watching Fox News, I wouldn't vote for me, right?

"Because the way I'm portrayed 24/7 is as a freak! I am the latte-sipping, New York Times-reading, Volvo-driving, no-gun-owning, effete, politically correct, arrogant liberal. Who wants somebody like that?"

I would've guessed cappuccino.

It's not enough that he has the overwhelming majority of the media -- not to mention the left-wing blogs that are apparently their main source of information -- in his pocket. He can brook no disagreement whatsoever. Want to go on the radio to talk about his past? You must be stopped. Want to put out ads about his positions on the issues? You must be stopped. Want to ask him a question when he descends from the heavens into your neighborhood while you're playing football with your kid? You must be stopped.

Obama is the victim, no matter what. That really is how he sees himself. Vote for President Princess!

Why do you think Palin knocked him for a loop in the first round? Because she mocked his behavior. She got big laughs by repeating his rhetoric. She saw his biggest weakness, his huge, easily bruised ego, and zeroed in on it. He's learned from that -- note his amazingly genuine laughter at McCain's home-hitting zingers the other night -- but not soon enough.

And obviously not completely enough. We can see you, Barack. Keep whining about how mean the meanies are.

If you vote for this narcissist, then you'd better be prepared for at least 4 years of agreeing with every single thing he says and does. Keep your mouth shut, racist. Or he'll get his guys to shut it for you.

P.S. You want to see Joe's license to question Obama? Dig up his birth certificate. Joe's, I mean. Obama's is off-limits.

Obama's answer to Joe's question

I just realized that I haven't actually quoted him, assuming that you already know exactly what he said. You probably do. But that's why they're going after Joe for asking a question about Obama's tax plan, to distract us from Obama's answer. So it can't hurt to repeat it:

"It's not that I want to punish your success. I want to make sure that everybody who is behind you, that they've got a chance for success, too. My attitude is that if the economy's good for folks from the bottom up, it's gonna be good for everybody. I think when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody."

Obama doesn't want to punish your success; he just wants to take the fruits of your labor and give them to people who haven't earned them. He wants to force you to give the amount of his choice to the charity of his choice. Don't worry about it, he'll take care of the whole thing.

Obama is a socialist. Pass it on.

Maybe I haven't been looking, but in the media frenzy to destroy Joe the Plumber, here's a quote I haven't seen much since Wednesday

This exchange from the debate is very revealing:

"Nobody likes taxes. Let's not raise anybody's taxes."

"Well, I don't mind paying a little more."

I'll let you guess which one said which. Hint: The second guy is now trying to crush a plumber from Ohio for asking a question. Or at the very least isn't speaking out against ruining the man's life.

"I don't mind paying a little more." Well, good for you. I sure as hell do.

If "it's the economy, stupid," aren't higher taxes part of the discussion? I'm no economist, but I do know that every dollar I give to the government is a dollar I can't put into the economy. One campaign is saying they want to lower my taxes, and the other campaign is questioning my patriotism if I complain about higher taxes. And millionaires like Diane Sawyer and Katie Couric are backing up the latter. I would suggest that they find the nearest large body of water and hurl themselves in.

And don't give me that "95%" crap. Why doesn't Obama just go all-out and promise that 110% of Americans will get a tax cut? (Oddly enough, that's the same percentage of Americans who've registered to vote.)

If we're going to plunge headlong into outright socialism, then I want some of what George Clooney's got. You're a big Obama backer, right, George? Well then, put your money where your wagging, chiseled chin is. It's not fair that you've got so much more than I do. I'll take one of your houses and one of your cast-off girlfriends. Doesn't have to be one of the good ones in either category. Whatever you can spare, genius.

Why hasn't McCain conceded yet?

Editor & Publisher is brimming with confidence:

The Obama-Biden ticket maintains its strong lead in the race for newspaper endorsements, picking up 17 more papers in the past day, including the giant Los Angeles Times and Chicago Tribune on Friday afternoon (see separate story), and the Denver Post, Atlanta Journal-Constitution, The Salt Lake Tribune, Kansas City Star, Southwest News-Herald (Ill.) and Chicago Sun-Times tonight.

Maybe I haven't been paying close enough attention, but has there really been a race for newspaper endorsements? Have we replaced the electoral college with the editorial college?

Oh wait, I get it. This is yet another sign of the futility of voting for McCain, right? "The newspapers I don't read anymore unless a trustworthy blog links to them, they favor Obama 3-1. Sure, most reporters are liberals and they've given up denying it, but still. Guess it really is over."

Yet another sign of doom and gloom, my McCain-sympathizing friends:

The readership of the 53 newspapers backing Obama now stands at well over 7 million.

Which is somewhat over 1/3rd of Rush Limbaugh's audience. He's endorsing Obama too, I think? Not sure; I'm more of a Mark Levin fan. Thank me!

The look. Of love. Is in. Your eyes.

She just can't get enough of that McCain, huh?

As Lisa Schiffren points out, that's quite a lot of ice Couric is wearing. It might be worth more than the business Joe Wurzelbacher was thinking about starting, before he became Public Enemy #1 for listening to Obama espouse socialism. I sure hope Couric and her ilk lecture the plumber some more about how he should do his patriotic duty by subsidizing other people's failures.

They'd better do it before Joe's public beheading Monday night, though. Olbermann and Matthews are anchoring MSNBC's primetime hatchet-to-hatchet coverage. Take a drink every time Olby addresses Joe's head on a pike as "Sir."

Did William Ayers babysit Obama's kids?

I don't know. But it's at least as solid a lead as, just to pick an example at random, "Sarah Palin is Trig's grandma." Which the NYT and CNN and everybody else ran with. It's at least as solid a lead as, just to pick another example at random, "Joe the Plumber isn't even registered to vote." Neither one was true. But then, that's not really the point of publishing these rumors, is it?

You opened this gate, gatekeepers. Don't blame us for walking through it.

Here's how to respond to the trolls and Axelturfers defaming Joe Wurzelbacher in a comment thread near you

"Joe didn't pay his taxes!"

"Joe isn't licensed to own a wrench!"

"Joe's balding and he shaves his head to hide it!"

Or whatever else they're throwing at him by the time you read this. Looks like David Axelrod's industrious little astroturfing creeps are out in force, having taken a brief sabbatical after their thorough failure to destroy Sarah Palin. Now they're trying to ruin a plumber from Ohio because not only didn't he genuflect in Obama's presence, but he accidentally managed to do something almost nobody else has done, or even bothered to try: He made Obama tell the truth.

Well, here's how to stop these Joe-viators in their tracks. Here's what they can't answer:

"Well spotted, my friend. So let's say, for the sake of argument, that you're right. What have you proven? How does that change Obama's answer to Joe's question? What do you hope to achieve with this?"

The truth, of course, is that Obama outed himself as a socialist in front of the whole world, McCain called him on it, and now Obama's supporters are terrified because they know most Americans don't want a socialist president. So they're lashing out at Joe. It really is a Two Minutes Hate, except Obama hasn't given them a time limit.

But they can't actually say any of that. They have to come up with some kind of excuse that their dim little minds perceive as plausible. So have some fun. Toy with their cognitive dissonance.

Enjoy.

I don't normally do "fisking," but in this case I'll make an exception

The New York Times lives up to its glorious reputation today with a hard-hitting investigative piece by Larry Rohter (pictured) on Joe "Enemy of the State" Wurzelbacher:

One week ago, Joe Wurzelbacher was just another working man living in a modest house outside Toledo, Ohio, and thinking about how to buy the plumbing business where he works. But when he stopped Senator Barack Obama during a visit to his block last weekend to complain about taxes, he set himself on a path to becoming America’s newest media celebrity — and as such suddenly found himself facing celebrity-level scrutiny.

Yep, that's why he's being covered in the NYT: Because he complained about taxes. I'm pretty sure he's the first person in American history to do so, but keep in mind that fact-checking isn't really my cup of tea.

Joe's question is what's newsworthy. Their interest in the story has very little to do with Obama's answer.

As it turns out, Joe the Plumber, as he became nationally known when Senator John McCain made him a theme at Wednesday’s final presidential debate, may work in the plumbing business, but he is not a licensed plumber.

Did you get that, America? And he dares to call himself a plumber! Of course, it's unclear at this point whether he actually needs a license to do the sort of work he does in Ohio. Or what it has to do with, well, anything. But still. Hey, isn't this how they caught the Unabomber?

By the way, let's set the record straight: He didn't become known as Joe the Plumber because McCain brought him up in the debate. He became known as Joe the Plumber because Obama couldn't remember his last name after McCain had just said it. (Yeah, McCain mispronounced it, but at least he made the attempt. It's kind of an unusual name.)

His full name is Samuel J. Wurzelbacher. And he owes back taxes, too, public records show. The premise of his complaint to Mr. Obama about taxes may also be flawed, according to tax analysts. Contrary to what Mr. Wurzelbacher asserted and Mr. McCain echoed, neither his personal taxes nor those of the business where he works are likely to rise if Mr. Obama’s tax plan were to go into effect, they said.

"Tax analysts." Do they have names? Credentials? Ahhh, who cares!

Also note that at this point in the story, the NYT has done a more thorough job investigating Joe Wurzelbacher than they've done with William Ayers.

None of that is likely to matter to those who see Mr. Wurzelbacher as a symbol of the entrepreneurial spirit they hope to foster with tax cuts, but even Mr. Wurzelbacher said he was shocked by all the attention.

"None of that," meaning the opinions of these anonymous tax analysts who say Joe has nothing to worry about. Anonymous tax analysts have feelings too, you dirty right-wingers.

And Joe may or may not be a symbol of entrepreneurial spirit. Sure, he says he wants to start his own business in the field he's spent years making a career in, but what does that really prove? The NYT wouldn't want to express an opinion on it one way or another.

Just five days ago, Mr. Wurzelbacher, 34, lived in anonymity in Holland, Ohio, a single father who, as he said on national television, worked all day and came home to fix dinner and help his son, 13, with his homework.

But he became the hero of conservatives and Republicans when he stopped Mr. Obama, who was campaigning on his street, and asked whether he believed in the American dream. Mr. Wurzelbacher said he was concerned about having to pay higher taxes as an owner of a small business.

He stopped Obama in the street? Holy racism, he tried to mug Obama!

No, actually, Obama approached him. The One was gracing The Many with his presence by going around door to door in Joe's neighborhood. Because Obama is A Man Of The People (Who Do Not Displease Him With Their Effrontery). Joe was in his yard playing football with his kid, and Obama saw a photo op. Whoops. So get it straight: Joe was visited by the Messiah, not the other way around.

"I'm getting ready to buy a company that makes $250,000 to $280,000 a year," he told Mr. Obama. "Your new tax plan is going to tax me more, isn't it?"

That encounter wound up on YouTube and led to appearances on the Fox News Channel, interviews with conservative bloggers and a New York Post editorial, all of whom seized on a small part of Mr. Obama’s long reply. "I think that when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody," Mr. Obama had said.

See, they didn't quote the whole thing! They just focused on the "spread the wealth" part, and the "I want to take your money and give it to people who are less successful than you because otherwise it's not fair" part. As if it's somehow relevant that Obama revealed to the whole world that he's a socialist. Who cares that he looked one of his inferiors in the eye and told the peasant he doesn't deserve the money he earns?

No, those Faux Noise creeps took Obama out of context. Namely: He's a boring socialist.

There's more -- almost 1,000 words in all, because it's just that big of a story -- but you get the idea. Cut to the big finish:

In his interview with Ms. Couric, Mr. Wurzelbacher, who voted Republican in Ohio's March primary

Say, how did Couric vote in the New York primary?

said that his encounter with Mr. Obama had been prompted by his desire "to ask one of these guys a question, and really corner them and get them to answer a question for once instead of tap dancing around it. And unfortunately I asked the question, but I still got a tap dance."

He added, "He was almost as good as Sammy Davis Jr."

Get the picture, America? That's right: Joe the Plumber just called Obama a Jew.

Best NYT story since Jayson Blair left to pursue other opportunities. Clear some shelf space for your Pulitzer, Larry.

P.S. It might be presumptuous, but I hereby propose we change "fisking" to "Rohter-rooting."

P.P.S. The whole "He's not a licensed plumber!" non sequitur is really fantastic. So, if you happen to be standing in front of Obama when he publicly reveals his socialism, what does the media do? Demands to see your papers. That's just delicious, is what that is.

P.P.P.S. Thanks to Mr. Steyn for the mention.

Joe Wurzelbacher, American Hero!

Are you tired of "conservative" pundits laying down for (if not actively cheerleading for) a socialist because he's pretty and he talks nice and he's never ever shot a moose? Sick of their whining when we don't praise them for their brave iconoclasm?

Then read this.

But I don't mind, because soon they’ll all be out of that three-letter word: j-o-b-s*

From the Washington Post's endorsement of... do I even need to tell you?

The choice is made easy in part by Mr. McCain’s disappointing campaign, above all his irresponsible selection of a running mate who is not ready to be president.

Did they endorse Kerry? You bet your Botox they did. So... an inexperienced running mate was no problem in '04, but it'll lose you their endorsement in '08?

That is quite some brainteaser.

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