November 28, 2009

The media's full of stories about a married couple who conned their way into the White House and made a mess

But when I say it...

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:54 AM

November 21, 2009

Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, No Breast Exams for Mama

(Sung to the tune of everybody's favorite song of 2009)

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Mmm, mmm, mmm, no breast exams for mama
You'll wait till 50 years of age
Assuming you've not left the stage

Mmm, mmm, mmm, no breast exams for mama
You voted for him? That's divine
You still don't get to cut in line

Mmm, mmm, mmm, no breast exams for mama
You only get your tiny portion
Unless you want a quick abortion

Mmm, mmm, mmm, no breast exams for mama
The tumor's growin' like your dread?
No need for cuttin'; pills instead

Mmm, mmm, mmm, no breast exams for mama
You might die younger than you ought
At least this $#!+ will cost a lot

Mmm, mmm, mmm...

Any senator who votes yea tonight is voting yea for the bill. Let 'em know that you know.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:44 PM

October 20, 2009

If President Barack Hussein Obama doesn't think Fox News Channel is a legitimate news outlet...

...why did he fire Van Jones?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:11 PM

September 18, 2009

I find your lack of grace disturbing

May the forced bravado be with you

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Previously: Oh, to be a fly on a beer mug...

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:41 AM

September 12, 2009

Just imagine how wide Nancy Pelosi's eyes must be. Wait, bad example...

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P.S. Take a moment to sympathize with the "special interest" accountants who have to cut all these checks:

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Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:08 AM

September 05, 2009

Van bailin'

ABC News:

The White House says President Barack Obama's adviser Van Jones is resigning amid controversy over past inflammatory statements.

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If the mainstream media didn't prove its own irrelevance during the Rielle Hunter scandal, this clinches it. An advisor to the President of the United States, a man in charge of tens of billions in taxpayer funds, is resigning because of a scandal that has not been covered by most news outlets. Now they have to do the same dance they did when John Edwards confessed to his affair: "Looks like we have no choice but to talk about this now. Let's cover the story as if we've been covering it all along, while explaining it for the people who don't know about it because we're their only source of news."

So long to the lying, racebaiting, communist Truther in the White House. Correction: So long to a lying, racebaiting, communist Truther in the White House.

And now maybe people will start asking how this wackjob got into the White House in the first place. Van, I mean.

P.S. NBC Washington:

President Obama's environmental adviser Van Jones resigned from his post late Saturday evening after he came under fire for a series of inflammatory statements he made about Republicans, the White House said early Sunday morning.

Yeah, that's why he resigned. Because he pissed off the all-powerful Republicans. Who are in charge of, um, nothing.

Previously: 1600's a Joke

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:42 PM

August 30, 2009

That was the original title, swear to God

With apologies to DC Comics, artist Win Mortimer, and whoever wrote the original Jack Schiff:

Superman Says: 'Hop on the Welfare Wagon!'

Thanks to ComicMix for the original, and to insomnia for the inspiration.

P.S. Must-watch: Why We Don't Need Socialized Medicine

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:32 AM

August 16, 2009

A New Definition of Chutzpah

You've probably heard the definition of chutzpah: A boy who's convicted of murdering his parents and begs the judge for leniency on the grounds that he's an orphan. Now we've got an example that's almost as... well, audacious.

A few months ago, President of the United States Barack Hussein Obama said this about his grandmother:

President Barack Obama said his grandmother's hip-replacement surgery during the final weeks of her life made him wonder whether expensive procedures for the terminally ill reflect a "sustainable model" for health care.

The president's grandmother, Madelyn Dunham, had a hip replaced after she was diagnosed with cancer, Obama said in an interview with the New York Times magazine that was published today. Dunham, who lived in Honolulu, died at the age of 86 on Nov. 2, 2008, two days before her grandson's election victory.

"I don’t know how much that hip replacement cost," Obama said in the interview. "I would have paid out of pocket for that hip replacement just because she's my grandmother."

Obama said "you just get into some very difficult moral issues" when considering whether "to give my grandmother, or everybody else's aging grandparents or parents, a hip replacement when they're terminally ill."

Which is why he now wants the government to take more of a hand in those decisions. Which is why, apparently, we should listen to him.

Then yesterday, during his "townhall" meeting in Colorado, Obama said this:

"I just lost my grandmother last year. I know what it's like to watch somebody you love, who's aging, deteriorate and have to struggle with that," an impassioned Obama told a crowd as he spoke of Madelyn Payne Dunham. He took issue with "the notion that somehow I ran for public office or members of Congress are in this so they can go around pulling the plug on grandma."

And thus, we have a new definition of chutzpah: A President of the United States who complains about the expense of alleviating his dying grandmother's suffering, and who then uses her death as evidence of his compassion.

You may not have run for office specifically to pull the plug on grandma, Mr. President, but you're obviously not going to let her get in your way.

P.S. Speaking of hip replacements, Biden's a pretty swingin' guy.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:58 AM

August 14, 2009

My favorite moment from Obama's daily townhall greenhouse meeting, this one in Montana

"Hello, Mr. President. Thank you so much for taking the time to speak to us. My name is Michelle O. and I'm a lifelong resident of Butt, Montana. I... [holds finger to ear] Whoops, sorry, that's pronounced 'Byoot.'"

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:37 PM

August 13, 2009

You did, did ya?

Now:

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Soon:

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Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:39 AM

August 11, 2009

I refuse to call these things "townhalls" anymore

After Obama's pathetic spectacle today, I'm calling them "greenhouses." Although the real thing has fewer plants.

P.S. If Obama was an SEIU goon, he'd say, "I'm not punching you in the face" as he punched you in the face. And there's a 52.9% chance you'd believe him.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:31 AM

August 08, 2009

If Kenneth Gladney was an Obama supporter, right now he'd be more famous than Rodney King

Al Sharpton would have a whole rack of new suits.

What better way to convince people they need the government to run their health care than to put them in the hospital?

On second thought, if Gladney was an Obama supporter, he wouldn't know what "Don't Tread on Me" means. And those SEIU guys (Smash, Endanger, Intimidate, Undermine) wouldn't have beaten him.

More info on Gladney here. And a summary of how the left is trying to make the whole thing go away, here.

Dissent is the lowest form of racism.

Dissent has always been the lowest form of racism.

Doubleplusungood.

P.S. Tonight on Law & Order: SEIU, the team leaps into action when an elderly woman says something fishy about health-care rationing to a Democrat.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:02 AM

August 06, 2009

For John Hawkins

Wanna know how I got these czars?

Paste 'em up!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:30 PM

August 04, 2009

Tee-hee

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Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:53 AM

August 03, 2009

Why So Spurious?

Obama-socialism Joker.jpgFrom the LA Weekly blog:

A new poster depicting President Obama as a version of Heath Ledger's Joker character in The Dark Knight has appeared in Los Angeles, according to rightwing sources...

The poster, which bears a very superficial resemblance to Shepard Fairey's famous Obama Hope illustration, has been pasted on freeway supports and other public surfaces. It has a bit of everything to appeal to the drunk tank of California conservatism: Obama is in white face, his mouth (like Ledger's Joker's) has been grotesquely slit wide open and the word "Socialism" appears below his face. The only thing missing is a noose.

Ah yes, we all remember that classic scene in The Dark Knight...

This is what happens to whiteface men in America.

P.S. Here's an oldie but a racisty. And here's Obama with another company's superhero.

P.P.S. Nobody looked for a noose all those other times somebody put a politician in Joker makeup.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:19 PM

July 31, 2009

Oh, to be a fly on a beer mug...

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P.S. Later that evening:

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PREVIOUSLY: Biden Clarifies Earlier Remarks on His Dread of an Obama Administration

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:21 AM

July 30, 2009

There's just no pleasing some folks

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Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:50 PM

July 29, 2009

Obama is not a racist

He just judges people without having the facts, based on the color of their skin.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:52 PM

July 25, 2009

If a burglar who happened to be black had broken into Henry Gates' home and told the cops he lived there, would they be profiling him if they asked to see some ID?

If so, why?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:17 PM

July 24, 2009

This post is inherently racist

Henry Gates is kind of a dick.

The latest: Police unions call for apology from Obama, Deval Patrick. But don't they know that college professors who are personal friends of the President of the United States can scream at all the cops they want?

P.S. This is not a race issue. It's a class issue.
P.P.S. Obama has invited both Sgt. Crowley and Sgt. Howly to the White House. Maybe he'll buy Crowley a pack of gum and show him how to chew it.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:14 AM

July 23, 2009

Under Obamacare, old people will have to stop bitterly clinging to their drugs and incisions

Wasn't Obama's Health-Rationing Liefest '09 awesome? I especially liked his little podium-thumping thing at the beginning. Oooh, so forceful! Yeah, just like that other guy:

Oops!

And now, a little ditty:

When an Oval Office liar
Ain't feelin' too inspired
His plans approach the drain
With these words he'll rebut 'em
His career'd be less than nothin'
If he had a speck of shame:

Obama is an asshole

(pic per geraghty)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:48 AM

July 11, 2009

Are you contributing to social deterioration?

You'd better hope not.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:48 PM

June 23, 2009

Dear Everybody Who Yelled at Me for Wanting Obama to Condemn the Brutality of the Iranian Government Against Its Own People:

That was yesterday, right? Have fun rationalizing why it's okay now that Obama has finally done so, and yet why the wingnuts are still wrong!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 05:47 PM

June 22, 2009

If you say so, sir

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Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:50 PM

June 21, 2009

Obama Snacked, Iranians Got Whacked

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Confection accomplished. Heck of a glob, Barry. Barack Obama doesn't care about lactose-intolerant people. "Now watch this drive... to the ice cream shop."

To learn more about how our emperor dawdled while Tehran burned, check out Jeff "What enchants you, Mr. President?" Zeleny's hard-hitting report, and Patterico's compare-and-contrast between an Iranian dissident and an American busboy. And then try to imagine the NYT's coverage if Bush had pulled a stupid stunt like this on a day like yesterday. Of course, if it'd been Bush, he'd be taking a break from his responsibilities (like supporting democracy), not a break from shirking them.

(In all fairness, that pic is from a previous ice-cream run, so his grin may not have been quite as wide yesterday.)

It isn't about the ice cream. People need to start realizing that Obama isn't the President of the United States; the United States is the throne upon which Obama sits. "Let them eat soft-serve."

P.S. In honor of Obama’s commanding leadership, Ben & Jerry’s has announced 6 delicious new flavors: Truncheon Crunch, Ayatollhouse Cookie Dough, Lemon Loin-Gird, Ineffectual Fudge, Let Them Eat Cake Batter, and Toffeetalitarianism.

P.P.S. As long as I spent all day on Twitter yesterday venting about this (for the sake of the structural integrity of my TV screen), I might as well post some of it here:

***

Michelle would've taken the girls for ice cream, but she's busy helping the Fantastic Four fight Dr. Doom while the Thing is on vacation.

***

Imagine if Bush went on an ice cream run during something like this. He'd be "Worst Person in the World" every day forever.

***

If you think you've got it bad, Iranian protesters, just be glad you don't have to worry about an ice-cream headache.

***

Alt-universe MSNBC graphic: "Fire & Ice (Cream)." Chris Matthews wants to know if Bush will be getting custard in prison.

***

Little-known historical fact: After Nero got done fiddling, he popped out for a lovely scoop of mint chocolate chip.

***

My Pet Goat: "Bush didn't care!" My Wet Cone: "Can't a guy have a life?"

***

The White House will put out another statement on Iran just as soon as it's transcribed from the Dairy Queen napkin.

***

If you think there was a lot of fudging on that sundae, wait until you see Obama's next statement on Iran.

***

Alt-universe Letterman: "Vice President Palin took her daughter for ice cream on Saturday. I woulda pegged her as more of a Slurpee gal."

***

Rachel Maddow's entire hour Monday will be devoted to what she's calling "Sundae Bloody Sundae." #ifobamawasrepublican

***

Fred Armisen walks onstage dressed as an ice-cream bar with an afro, must wait 1 full minute to say his first line. #ifobamawasrepublican

***

Palin wasn't supposed to run for VP because it would take time away from her kids. Whereas Obama's the World's Best Dad while Tehran burns.

***

For every minute Bush spent reading to kids after hearing about 9/11, Obama has had 1 full day to deal with the Iranian election.

***

BREAKING: Obama Calls for Tolerance of Opposing Opinions, Lactose

***

From Letterman's monologue next Mon.: "This situation in Iran is somethin', huh? Haven't seen chaos like this since the last Bush family picnic." [Makes "glug-glug" drinking gesture]

***

Mr. President: What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Because we know condemning this outrage isn't on the list.

***

"I can see Haagen-Dazs from my house!" #ifobamawasrepublican

***

(Crossposted to hotair.com)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:26 AM

May 16, 2009

Transcript of Obama's White House Correspondents' Dinner Speech from an Alternate Universe Where He's Capable of Making Fun of Himself and Not Just Taking Thinly Veiled Shots at His Detractors

obamaWHCD.PNGTHE PRESIDENT: Thank you. Thank you, everybody. Good evening. It's good to be here. It's been... [checks watch] ...wow, over 3 hours since I last gave a speech on TV. Starting to go through withdrawal.

Great to see everybody here tonight. So many good people. We've got Joe Biden here. Sheriff Joe. Just look at him. Smiling and laughing like he has any idea what's going on. There ya go, Plugs, flash those choppers. You paid enough for 'em. "Just make sure they match the hair I bought, Doc." Folks, I hereby declare everything from Joe's neck up a man-caused disaster.

I kid because I love. Joe's a good man, good family man. Lovely daughter. You know, Ashley Biden was planning to take the Amtrak down here tonight, but she got distracted at the station by all those huge rails.

But hey, who am I to talk about family problems? I'd read you the list of all my half-brothers, but it's longer than the stimulus bill.

You guys heard about my half-brother Samson, right? Yeah, when he was heading over here for my inauguration, he ran into a... well, a bit of a problem in England. Got kicked out. Turns out they'd already met their weekly quota on child molesters. Oops!

Another big difference between George Bush and me: His brother used to run a state, and my brother was run out of a country.

And don't even get me started on my Auntie Zeituni. I'm the first president to deal with so much hassle from an alien since Independence Day.

Speaking of the news, interesting item today: A Saudi judge has said it's okay to slap your wife if she spends too much. [mock-dramatic pause, leans into the mic] And you still wanna know why I bow to them?

Boy oh boy, I'm in for it now. Should I look? I'm gonna look. [looks over at Michelle] Oof. Yeah, I know. I know. You gotta believe I love you, baby, but next time could you maybe wear the four-hundred-dollar shoes to the homeless shelter? You're killin' me out there. [to audience] Oh, man, that was not a good look. I am not looking forward to the ride home.

Well, it beats making her laugh. Every time she slaps the table, they have to bring out a new table. Know what I mean? [flexes biceps, snarls] But I tell ya, I've loved her from the first moment Skynet sent her back in time to kill Sarah Connor.

Anyhoo. Look at all these lovely people here tonight. Helen Thomas. I know you're out there, hot thing. Stand up, stand up. Oh, you are. Okay. Now, I've got a little surprise for you, Helen. A lot of people have taken to calling tonight's event the "Nerd Prom." And in that spirit, I'd like to announce... Helen Thomas is Queen of the Prom! Give her a big hand, folks.

Quick, Helen, look up! Just kidding.

Andrew Sullivan, there he is. And Todd Palin, good to have you here. You know, I heard these two had a little altercation earlier. I'm a little unclear on the details, but apparently it ended with Andy getting dragged away, screaming "Who's the real mother???"

Sorry about all that stuff during the election, Todd. You know how Axelrod can get. He's got all his little nerds typing away on their computers, e-mailing all that stuff to, heh... to respected journalists like... [chuckles] ...like Sullivan there. [laughs] And Kos! [audience laughs along for one solid minute]

Ah, heh, whew. And speaking of hilarious comedy, thank goodness for Tina Fey, huh? I cannot wait to raise her taxes. She'll be all like... [mimes holding tax statement at arm's length, gasping in astonishment] "Wait, what? I thought we was tight, yo!"

Meghan McCain. What a doll. Isn't she adorable, folks? Glad to see she fixed herself back up. See, earlier she was standing between Carville and Axelrod, and the glare from their scalps was melting her makeup. Anyway, I can't wait to not read your book, honey. How to Lose Friends and Influence Nobody.

But let's get back to me. I'm the reason you're all here tonight. Or anywhere, any night.

Hey, have you seen that new Star Trek movie? Terrific, terrific stuff. A Star Trek for our times. I've even read some reviews saying I'd make a good starship captain. Yeah. Can't you just see it? Right after I lay off 8.9% of the crew and blame it on the previous captain, I go around the galaxy apologizing to the Klingons. And the Romulans. And the Cardassians. And the Ferengi. And the Tribbles...

I wouldn't have Air Force One, though. Or as I like to call it, Air Force 9/11. We really put a good scare into those New Yorkers, huh? Gotta keep 'em on their toes. They'll get over it, though. I mean, what are they gonna do, not vote for me? [biggest laugh of evening]

Yeah, all kinds of people are kicking themselves for voting for me. Any Chrysler execs in the audience tonight? Wave your top hats and monocles. Just kidding, they're all in their panic rooms. If they want to figure out what the hell happened, I hope they stocked copies of The Communist Manifesto. It'll change your life! [grins]

Well, it's about time for me to clear the stage so Wanda Sykes can say things really loudly and wait for people to laugh. I hope she uses the Limbaugh jokes I sent her.

And that's my time, folks, you've been great. POTUS out!

P.S. From the same alternate universe: Miss Wanda Sykes. A few of the jokes are pretty raw, but at least this version doesn't wish death on anybody.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:08 PM

April 11, 2009

To put it in terms my friends on the left might understand:

These Somali guys are throwing their shoes at our president.

And compared to the last guy, he's taking a whole lot longer to stand back up after ducking.

Still enjoying it?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:32 PM

April 10, 2009

What a card

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See? He doesn't always need the prompter.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:14 AM

I'm told this opinion might be "extreme"

1) Presidents of the United States don't tend to go around apologizing for their own country on foreign soil.

2) Pirates don't tend to attack American ships.

3) When both happen within a week of each other, each one for the first time anybody can remember, there might be loose talk.

Shootings happen more often than we'd like, but people like Oliver Willis and Markos Moulitsas have no problem pinning one on Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh or whoever else they want to malign. Whereas pirates kidnapping Americans at sea happens once every 200 years. But I'm not supposed to wonder if President Obama running around the world with a "Kick Me" sign on his back -- which almost flew off during his spine-bending bow to a king -- has anything to do with America getting, um, kicked.

I mean, what's been protecting American ships from piracy for two centuries? (Assuming "simple common courtesy" is off the table.) Why hasn't this happened since before running water and electric lights? The horrible nightmare of the Bush Era is over and everything's supposed to be hunky-dory. Why isn't everybody else playing nice and sharing and using their words?

And about that bow. Yeah, it was just one guy bowing to another guy. Big deal. Well, then, why is the White House now claiming it didn't happen? Why are we supposed to defer to authority against the evidence of our own senses?

Tell me...

Are you sure? Remember: They're just lights.

P.S. Can you imagine if Bush had claimed he never put on a flight suit? Never stood in front of a "Mission Accomplished" banner? Not just that it might be interpreted some other way, but that it didn't happen at all? The Internet would've collapsed under the weight of all the Orwell quotes.

P.P.S. Supposedly I'm heartless because I don't think it's the president's job to make sure you have a house. And yet you're not heartless when a U.S. citizen is being held hostage by armed thugs in international waters, and your reaction to "Why isn't Obama saying anything?" is "Arrrr, matey!"

P.P.P.S. Homeland Security is now referring to these Somali thugs as "nautical organizers."

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:02 AM

April 02, 2009

Building a Religion

Michael Hussey created this video and uploaded it to Youtube last year. For some reason, they put an age restriction on it, so you have to sign into your Youtube account and verify your age before you can watch it. This video doesn't have any profanity or naked people or violence, so presumably it's the sociopolitical content they find offensive. I just uploaded it again under my account, so you might still be able to watch this embed by the time I post this.

If you like this video, please create a Youtube account and re-upload it. (You can download it by going to this page and entering this URL.) Let's see just how committed Google/Youtube is to censoring political speech.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:36 PM

March 23, 2009

"Why... so... SERIOUS??? Hey, wanna know how I got these ears?"

Some men just want to watch the world burn.

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(thx, ed)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:20 PM

March 20, 2009

Sorry for repeating myself, but it's so seldom that I make an accurate prediction

I called this whole thing days ago.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:33 PM

March 19, 2009

No respect, no respect at all

Last night, President Obama debuted his standup comedy act on the Tonight Show. You've heard his hilarious wisecracks about the Special Olympics and "waterheads," and here are a few of his other witticisms:

  • "Thanks for having me on the show, Jay. You seem like a pretty nice guy... for an Italian. [Tony Soprano impersonation] Ayyyy! Fuggetaboutit!"
  • "Kevin Eubanks, how are ya, man? Is Jay letting you come in through the front entrance yet? No? It's okay, I do the same thing to Biden."
  • "I stopped by Hollywood earlier. Or as I call it, Little Israel. I dropped a penny on the sidewalk and lost 3 Secret Service guys."
  • "You think being the first black president is easy? Every time I leave the White House, Secret Service checks my pockets for silverware."
  • "Yeah, John McCain and I get along. Although he always freezes me out when I try to give him a high five! [audience groans] What, too soon?"
  • "Sarah Palin and I don't talk much, 'cause I don't speak Tardese. 'Doy! Durr! Look at my dumb baby!' [audience member boos] Oh, lighten up."
  • "Ya know, I thought about picking a female VP too. But I've already got somebody to clean my house and fetch me beers! Am I right, fellas?"
  • "Any Irish folks in the audience? Don't raise your hand, you might spill your drink. 'When Oirish oys are smilin'...'" [staggers, pretends to vomit]
  • "Another great thing about LA is all the fags. [audience hisses] OK, OK, Faggot-Americans. Hey, I got no problem with it. After all, I did hire Rahm Emmanuel!"
  • "You know what cracks me up? Chinese people. [sticks front teeth over bottom lip and pushes back corners of eyes] 'Herro, Mistel Plesident!'"
  • "People ask what scares me most. Iran? The economy? Try: Waking up every morning next to She-Hulk! Oh, I'm gonna get it when I come home."

Newly appointed Humor Czar Joe Biden could not be reached for comment.

P.S. I think we all remember where we were when we found out JFK had gone on the Tonight Show and mocked the developmentally disabled. As FDR said: "The only thing we have to fear is... one of those people trying to hug us." And who can forget the immortal words of Abraham Lincoln? "Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth upon this continent a new nation, dedicated to the proposition that all tards are hilarious."

P.P.S. Obama responds to the controversy: "You know, I didn't mess with those people's chromosomes. This administration has inherited these genetic anomalies."

P.P.P.S. I predicted "POTUS as insult comic" days beforehand.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:17 PM

In which I attempt to keep up with the brave, brilliant guardians of America's future

So...

  • According to the White House, Americans don't care about the AIG bonuses.
  • The same AIG bonuses that President of the United States Barack H. Obama has made a big show of being indignant about.
  • Even though those bonuses were specifically protected in the "stimulus" bill he signed just last month.
  • Which was rushed through Congress because otherwise, according to Obama, the economy was going to be irreversibly destroyed.
  • Except now it turns out he really meant to say, "The economy is doing better than we thought."
  • (What, you've never had a slip of the tongue?)
  • Oh yeah, and now Congress wants to to impose a 90% tax on the bonuses that Congress itself approved.
  • Which isn't enough for Barney Frank, who wants the recipients dragged into the town square and beaten for accepting money he voted to give them.
  • And all of the above is the other guy's fault.
  • Who's "the other guy"? Whoever happens to be handy.

I think I get it: This is just a big distraction from the vitally important matters of state that President Obama is attending to. Which he'll tell us all about this evening.

On the Tonight Show.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:11 PM

March 12, 2009

Aw, they didn't use my slogan!

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(Click here to see what the Democratic Party went with.)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:26 PM

March 06, 2009

Obama is a liar

Not that I'm not convinced by the plethora of evidence, but mainly I want to see where this ends up in the Google results.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:06 PM

March 05, 2009

You can say that again (for now)

A political operative, based inside the White House, employed by the president of the United States and receiving a salary from the American taxpayer, goes to work every day to help direct a strategy against a broadcaster whose opinions are supposed to be covered by every protection the First Amendment can provide. To quote Shakespeare, "Something is rotten..." The American people have a right to know who this person is, what their duties are and how much they are paid.
-- Peter Roff
Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:03 PM

When Barry Met Gordon

[BRITISH PRIME MINISTER GORDON BROWN IS SHOVED THROUGH OVAL OFFICE DOOR BY SCOWLING SECRET SERVICE AGENT]

Brown: Good lord! How very-- [STANDS UP STRAIGHT, ADJUSTS TIE & SMOOTHS OUT WRINKLED SUIT, WALKS TOWARD OBAMA SITTING AT DESK] I'm afraid I wasn't expecting such treatment. But no matter. Good day to you, Mr. President.

Obama: [STARES DOWN AT PAPERS ON DESK]

Brown: Uhm. [CLEARS THROAT] I'm very sorry to bother you, Mr. President, but--

Obama: What? What is it? [LOOKS UP, NOT QUITE MAKING EYE CONTACT] Oh. It's you. Great. [RETURNS TO STARING AT PAPERS]

Brown: Hurm. Yes. Well. Have a seat, should I? [INDICATES CHAIR BEHIND HIM, WAITS FOR SOME SORT OF ACKNOWLEDGMENT, FINALLY SITS DOWN ANYWAY] So. It's. Did you, did you get the gifts I brought? The pen set is composed of wood from the sister ship of the one that was used to make the very desk you're--

Obama: [STILL NOT LOOKING UP] Yes. Yes, I saw it. Alright? Jeez... [UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE] Oh yeah. Forgot. [DIGS THROUGH PAPERS, FINDS DVD CASE UNDER ONE STACK, TOSSES IT INTO BROWN'S LAP]

Brown: Oh! Very, uh, very nice. [PICKS IT UP, PULLS READING GLASSES FROM SHIRT POCKET] It's, let me... Yes We Can! The Barack Obama Story. Ah. That's. Uhm. Well, I certainly--

Obama: [SIGHING LOUDLY, STILL NOT LOOKING UP] Will there be anything else? I don't know if you noticed, but I'm kind of the President?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:59 AM

March 04, 2009

Headline you'll never see:

Obama Promises to Meet Limbaugh Without Preconditions

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:22 AM

March 03, 2009

"We will crush you in the gears of our machine until you're fertilizer for plants, all while draping ourselves in the flag"

aara_logo_2.jpg

Tapper again:

President Obama announced today that his administration will begin stamping an emblem on projects funded by the economic stimulus package so that people can easily recognize the effects of the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act.

All projects will be stamped with the ARRA logo (short for the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act) and lists the recovery.gov website on the emblem.

How ARRAgant.

Hey, why does a "temporary measure" need a logo, anyway?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:19 PM

Obama continues to put our minds at ease

Tapper:

"To you, he's Mr. Vice President," President Obama said at the Department of Transportation this morning. "But around the White House we call him 'The Sheriff' because if you're misusing taxpayer money, you'll have to answer to him."

That remark brought peals of laughter in the president's rah-rah address before approximately 600 DOT employees, where he was joined by Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood and "Sheriff" Biden.

Sheriff Biden then placed Obama under arrest. "Hands on the podium. Spread your feet, spread your feet. You got anything in your pockets that's gonna stick me? Huh?"

Just kidding. Joe the Genius just chuckled, possibly understanding the joke.

BTW, if you watch the video embedded near the end of Tapper's story, please tell me if you hear any "peals of laughter."

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:09 AM

March 02, 2009

Hey, guess who's not a fan of big government?

Courtesy of Blog P.I., here's a tale of some plucky young go-getters whose ambitions are being stifled by a bunch of bureaucratic red tape:

The team that ran the most technologically advanced presidential campaign in modern history is finding it difficult to adapt that model to government. WhiteHouse.gov, envisioned as the primary vehicle for President Obama to communicate with the online masses, has been overwhelmed by challenges that staffers did not foresee and technological problems they have yet to solve.

Obama, for example, would like to send out mass e-mail updates on presidential initiatives, but the White House does not have the technology in place to do so. The same goes for text messaging, another campaign staple.

Beyond the technological upgrades needed to enable text broadcasts, there are security and privacy rules to sort out involving the collection of cellphone numbers, according to Obama aides, who acknowledge being caught off guard by the strictures of government bureaucracy.

Got that? It really is beautiful: The Obama team doesn't like being told what to do by the government! Which is of course why they want to massively expand it. Kind of like a sea captain, preparing to set sail for uncharted waters, who gets caught off guard by a bucket of mud.

Sounds like they need some more money to fix this website number thing. Will a couple million cover it? Billion? Whatever. It's all just numbers anyway. Here you go. Don't worry, we'll keep having kids. They'll pay for it, or their kids will. Or their kids...

Posted by Jim Treacher at 05:11 PM

February 27, 2009

Apparently, by strangling democracy

How to get Michelle Obama's toned arms

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:02 PM

Speaking of the great Batton Lash

In light of current events, this one seems worth reposting:

If you enjoyed this cartoon, you're a r-- Well, you know.

That was four months ago.

Told ya so.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:09 AM

Andrew Breitbart is kind to the mentally disabled

He let me repost that Schoolhouse Rock cartoon Batton Lash and I did at Big Hollywood today. Thank you, nice man!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:34 AM

February 25, 2009

Still have a job?

Obama saved it for you.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:13 AM

February 22, 2009

Obama Unveils Bold New Plan to Wreck U.S. Economy

Washington, D.C. -- In the midst of plummeting stock markets and a growing undercurrent of discontent among his subjects, President Obama delivered his weekly YouTube address on Saturday. A transcript of his remarks follows:

NOWhewearstheflagpin.bmp

Hi, everybody. As you all know, the failed policies of the previous administration have plunged us into the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression. If something isn't done immediately, every single citizen of the United States may soon die.

I have a plan.

I'm very proud to announce the establishment of a new government agency called the Monetary Uniformity Group. This agency will put people to work performing a simple but effective task: Americans who are currently [mimes scare quotes] "earning" too much money will be relieved of all excess cash -- by force only if necessary -- after which it will be gathered up, bundled into thick, heavy bales, and thrown into a wood chipper.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking, but please keep in mind that this plan is flexible. It could be some sort of industrial shredder instead. Or the money might be incinerated with flamethrowers, or weighed down with lead and dropped into the deepest part of the ocean. There are any number of options. The whole idea is to get that money moving away from people who don't deserve it.

To put it in terms someone like you might be able to understand: Look at your neighbor. Is it fair that he has a nicer car than you? A bigger TV? A younger, more physically fit wife or girlfriend? Well, then, let's see how he likes it when I grab his wallet and throw it in the wood chipper.

[Smiling, Obama mimes taking a wallet from someone's pocket with his thumb and forefinger, tossing it over his shoulder, and cringing slightly at the imaginary roar of the machine.]

Just picture that. Doesn't it feel good? A minute ago he thought he was soooo great, and now he's all mad because he doesn't have his iddle-widdle wallet. Look at him, he's actually crying. Got something to say, Richie Rich? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Only by following this plan can we restore America to the greatness it has yet to achieve. Remember: You deserve better, which means everybody else deserves worse.

Thank you.

Previously:
Bill Clinton: Obama "Probably Won't Destroy America"

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:53 PM

We've gone from a president who didn’t inhale to one who doesn’t want us to exhale

Via Tim Blair:

President Barack Obama’s climate czar said Sunday the Environmental Protection Agency would soon issue a rule on regulation of carbon dioxide, finding that it represents a danger to the public.

Here's your bumper sticker...

savetheplanetholdyourbreath.jpg

I want to be a climate czar. I want the climate to swear fealty to me for life. I want to boss around the wind and rain.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:28 AM

February 20, 2009

Two thousand points of fright

Geraghty says:

On Election Day 2008, the Dow Jones Industrial Average closed at 9,625.

On Inauguration Day 2009, the DJIA closed at 7,949.09...

Why buy stocks in companies that are going to be punished six ways to Sunday by an ever-growing government?

That ain't it. Markets are racist.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:02 AM

February 19, 2009

With apologies to ABC, legendary vocalist Jack Sheldon, and my childhood

If you didn't grow up in the '70s watching Schoolhouse Rock on Saturday mornings, first watch this:

Then read this:

JustABill1Panel1.jpg

After the jump!

JustABill1JT.jpg

JustABill2JT.jpg

JustABill3JT.jpg

For more of the great Batton Lash, go to exhibitapress.com! (And hat tip to Jackie Estrada for the idea!)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:06 PM

February 18, 2009

Top 10 Reasons President Barack H. Obama Is Nothing Like Travis the Chimp

10. Travis understood TurboTax
9. Obama somewhat less likely to attack Biden
8. Travis never lied
7. Obama's smile not quite as genuine
6. Travis could get through entire day without teleprompter
5. Obama takes more long-term approach to destroying people's lives
4. Might actually be possible to get copies of Travis's medical records
3. Obama much better at taking orders from trainer, David Axelrod
2. Travis really didn't befriend William Ayers
1. Obama only talks your ear off

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:23 PM

A jackboot by any other name

President Obama opposes any move to bring back the so-called Fairness Doctrine, a spokesman told FOXNews.com Wednesday.

Shifting gears, Obama then announced plans for a groundbreaking new policy called the Doctrine of Fairness.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:16 PM

February 17, 2009

Q. What’s the difference between Jesus and Obama?

A. Jesus could assemble a cabinet.

(thx, andrew)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:09 PM

"Do I get to talk more now?"

idiots.jpg

Okay, we can all stop pretending it's not really Obama's bill, right? He's got Joe the Genius there for whatever reason, but if he'd wanted anybody else getting the credit on this one, he'd have worked from home instead of going 1,500 miles west and 1 mile up.

It's all yours, Mr. President.

(Alternate headline: "Do you want me to go get some more flags? They got more flags back there, no problem.")

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:31 PM

"We've already estabished what you are... now we're just haggling about the price"

Via McCormack at WS:

Chicago Tribune correspondent Jill Zuckman announced yesterday that she will join the Obama administration as assistant to Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood and director of public affairs...

Zuckman becomes at least the fourth reporter to join the Obama administration. Others include former TIME Washington bureau chief Jay Carney who is now Vice President Biden's communications director, former Los Angeles Times reporter Peter Gosselin who is now a speechwriter for Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner, and former Washington Post deputy editor Warren Bass who is an adviser to United Nations Ambassador Dr. Susan Rice.

Former ABC News congressional correspondent Linda Douglass became a senior strategist for the Obama campaign, while other campaign officials included former CNN producer Kate Albright-Hanna and former CNN correspondent Aneesh Raman.

Remember what a big deal it was when Tony Snow became the White House Press Secretary? How terrible it was?

Well, you can hardly blame these people for transitioning into a growth industry: government.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:57 PM

February 12, 2009

Julio the Frycook for White House Press Secretary!

I'm not sure he's much smarter than Robert Gibbs, but he'd sure be a lot more entertaining:

tapper.jpgJake Tapper: In the name of the transparency that you and the president herald so much, is there any way we could get the copies of the waivers that the OMB issues, to allow certain cabinet posts or deputy posts to be free of the ethics contraints you put up? And also, the disclosure forms that your nominees put out that go to the Office of Government Ethics, that somehow they're not able to e-mail or put on the Web. Is there any way we can get copies of those?

retard.jpgJulio: OHHHH, GRACIOUS GOD, THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME THAT!!! [hyperventilates] I do not know what that means at all but I am so proud to represent Obama who is the president! The fact that I am doing this job that I am doing and answering your question is the answer I will give to that! [jumps up and down, whooping and waving baseball hat]

America: Awwww, cute!

It would be awesome. See, you can be as dumb as you want, as long as you worship Obama. Don't ask him anything that might make him look bad, and everybody will love you. You might even get some special oral attention from Keith Olbermann.

But whatever you do, don't go into the plumbing business.

P.S. Dear SNL: When you steal this idea, I'm thinking Sudekis would make a good Tapper. Can't decide between Armisen or Samberg for Julio, though.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:55 PM

February 10, 2009

"We've had a good debate," he says

Here's his idea of a debate:

Obama: I won.
Anybody who disagrees with Obama: Oh.

End of debate!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:26 PM

No, I didn't watch it

He's boring. And any actual information that he accidentally lets slip out hits the Internet within minutes anyway. Sounds like it was just more evasions and outright lies. And a 10-minute answer to a question? What a boob.

P.S.

Oh, I can get a free house now? Awesome. Hey, everybody, we don't need to work anymore. Santa Karl will tax those evil rich pigs and give us anything we want. Just talk to his elves after the townhall meeting.

I will say this: As a president, Obama is a hell of a gameshow host.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:07 AM

February 09, 2009

Houses of the Holy

Mark Hemingway quotes the NYT on today's campaign stop in Elkhart, IN:

Wrapping himself in the mandate of his election last November, Mr. Obama sounded like a candidate all over again, scolding greedy Wall Street bankers and pointedly rejecting Republican critics for sticking with what he called a failed philosophy. At one point, he spoke about people with as many as five homes, which sounded like a reference to his opponent last fall, Senator John McCain.

Whereas Obama only has three homes: His residence in Chicago, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in D.C., and of course the Kremlin.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:17 PM

It's the Barry Hill Show!


(thx, Benny Hillifier)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:48 AM

You Can't Say You Weren't Warned

Hey, remember this one?

sarah palin rnc speech acceptance.jpgThis is a man who can give an entire speech about the wars America is fighting, and never use the word "victory" except when he's talking about his own campaign. But when the cloud of rhetoric has passed... when the roar of the crowd fades away... when the stadium lights go out, and those Styrofoam Greek columns are hauled back to some studio lot... what exactly is our opponent's plan?

What does he actually seek to accomplish, after he's done turning back the waters and healing the planet? The answer is to make government bigger... take more of your money... give you more orders from Washington... and to reduce the strength of America in a dangerous world. America needs more energy... our opponent is against producing it.

Victory in Iraq is finally in sight... he wants to forfeit.

Terrorist states are seeking nuclear weapons without delay... he wants to meet them without preconditions.

Al-Qaeda terrorists still plot to inflict catastrophic harm on America... he's worried that someone won't read them their rights? Government is too big... he wants to grow it.

Congress spends too much... he promises more. Taxes are too high... he wants to raise them. His tax increases are the fine print in his economic plan, and let me be specific.

The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes... raise payroll taxes... raise investment income taxes... raise the death tax... raise business taxes... and increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars.

As you'll recall, it took some time for Obama to recover from this speech. He spent a week stumbling around, babbling about lipstick on pigs and so forth. (He even whined that she didn't write the whole thing herself!) It took the combined efforts of Tina Fey, Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, and many, many others to distract us from this prediction. And now here we are, three weeks into the Changiest Hopefest Ever, and it's all happening just like she said.

Told ya so.

(thx, josh)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:22 AM

February 07, 2009

Misspending is the highest form of patriotism

As our brilliant, highly capable, and not at all embarrassing Vice President once reminded us, paying higher taxes is patriotic. But you know what you can pay that's even more patriotic? Obeisance to our glorious leader:

The details [of the stimulus compromise] were negotiated at an afternoon meeting in the office of the Senate majority leader, Harry Reid of Nevada, involving Mr. Reid, other top Democrats and two Republicans, Susan Collins of Maine and Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania. After they came to terms, the senators brought in the White House chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, for assurance that the deal was acceptable to the administration. Mr. Emanuel signaled it was…

Mr. Obama called Ms. Collins and Mr. Specter, as well as Senator Olympia J. Snowe of Maine, another Republican expected to support the deal, to acknowledge they were acting against pressure from their party and, one official said, to thank them for their patriotism in helping advance the bill at a critical time.

Please note that the 11 House Democrats who dissented are not patriotic. Obama isn't just the President of the United States; he is the United States. To question him is to question America. And what kind of patriot would do that? It's all very logical when you stop and don't think about it.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:11 PM

February 05, 2009

Fortunately, the Secret Service wrestled him to the ground before he was able to throw his panties

A reporter was escorted out of a White House event by Secret Service agents on Wednesday afternoon after he approached President Obama to seek an autograph.

At the end of an East Room signing ceremony for legislation funding the State Children's Health Insurance Program, an unidentified member of the media jumped the rope penning off reporters from invited guests in an apparent attempt to get Obama's autograph, according to a White House aide.

Secret Service agents swooped in and stopped him.

Heck of a job, media.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:39 AM

February 03, 2009

I just have two questions for anybody who voted for Obama

1. Are you going to pay your taxes?

2. If so: Why?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:07 PM

January 31, 2009

They've got balls, gotta give 'em that

balls.jpg

(thx, Suitably Flip)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:58 AM

January 27, 2009

George Washingwho?


I'm not sure this goes far enough. Can it really be said that, pre-Obama, there was even such a thing as America? Wasn't all that striving to "form a more perfect union" just a clumsy dress-rehearsal for the glorious utopia in which we now dwell? Weren't Washington and Lincoln and FDR just keeping the seat warm until the true culmination of all our hopes and dreams could take his rightful place?

And if you don't think so: Why are you a racist?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:37 PM

As ye sow...

Sept. '08:

Jan. '09:

White House E-Mail System Goes Down

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:04 AM

January 20, 2009

Hey, remember Arsenio?


Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:25 AM

January 17, 2009

The writer of the Obama/Spider-Man team-up speaks

Say what now?

"I have a lot of respect for President Obama and how he ran his campaign," the writer [Zeb Wells] said. "I like how he never shied away from who he was, and always answered tough questions about mistakes in his past with candor. He didn't try to be everything to everyone, and that takes a lot of character ... more character than I have. I like being able to say that about my President."

It's odd that Marvel Comics would hire somebody from the Bizarro World.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:48 AM

January 15, 2009

You didn't hear this from me

A little bird tells me that if you download the file found here (SpideyObama.cbz) and open it with the shareware found here (or change the filename extension to .zip and open it that way), you will be amazed by the spectacular mediocrity found within. With great powerlessness comes great irresponsibility.

uh.jpg

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:22 PM

He only went because when they said they were serving drinks and surf & turf, he thought they said "Trig's afterbirth"

ambinder-sullivan-center-left.jpg

Via Ambinder, via Beutler

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:41 AM

January 14, 2009

"Excuse me, Barry, could you please pass the buck? I mean butter?"

Obama Dines With Conservative Writers

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:16 AM

December 18, 2008

My congratulatory ad for President-Elect Barack Hussein Obama

The Washington Post is graciously allowing us to pay $10 each for classified ads congratulating BHO on his inauguration. And they must be congratulatory. No bringing up Wright or Ayers or Rezko or Blago or Alinsky or any other topic that might furrow the brow of the Messiah.

So, okay, fine. Here's my ad:

Gratefully, everyone told Bush, “Enough.” New times! Change! Obama makes me incredibly elated!

If you need me to explain the real message in the preceding text, drop me an e-mail.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:27 AM

December 17, 2008

It might cause a Star Trek floating-robot logic loop

What would've happened if the Iraqi shoe-thrower had followed up by asking a tough question about Obama's tax plan? How would the lefty blogs, and the lefty newspapers they're replacing, cope?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:52 AM

December 10, 2008

Do they let you wear your hairpiece in prison?

Or is it bagged up with your other personal effects?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:09 AM

November 24, 2008

Who's better than Iowahawk?

Please tell me.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:06 PM

November 23, 2008

RFK '08!

phillyinquirer.jpg

That's an actual poll at the Philadelphia Inquirer, attached to some story about how wonderful Obama is. (Just in case we'd all forgotten.) Please click on that image and vote for Bobby Kennedy, just to be silly geese. It's an embarrassing mistake, but in the Inquirer's defense, RFK died before most of the paper's remaining staff members' parents were born.

The real answer, of course, is None of the Above. It's starting to look like the former president who Obama resembles most is either Bill Clinton or... George W. Bush! No wonder our netroots friends are seething. But then, that's their natural state.

Update: And now that people have noticed, the Inquirer has flushed ol' Bobby down the memory hole. Keep earning your paychecks, media pros.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:34 PM

November 19, 2008

Also, there will be no interruption in the ample flow of insufferability

Delightful:

Dear World:

The United States of America , your quality supplier of ideals of liberty and democracy, would like to apologize for its 2001-2008 service outage.

The technical fault that led to this eight-year service interruption has been located, and the software responsible was replaced Tuesday night, November 4. Early tests of the newly-installed program indicate that we are now operating correctly, and we expect it to be fully functional by mid-January.

We apologize for any inconvenience caused by the outage, and we look forward to resuming full service — and hopefully even to improve it in years to come.

Thank you for your patience and understanding,

The USA

That's right, Bush took away your liberty and Obama is going to give it back. Just don't ask any questions.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 05:20 PM

November 16, 2008

A friendly chat with the liberal who lives in my head

Hello, reductive straw man I've slapped together for my own nefarious ends.

Greetings, wingnut hillbilly dimwit.

Indeed. Now that we've dispensed with the formalities, please watch this clip from a speech President-Elect Barack H. Obama gave last July and tell me what you think it means:

Whoa. What's the deal?

That? Oh, he's just talking about expanding the Peace Corps and AmeriCorps and programs like that. Factcheck.org said so.

Yeah? That's weird, because those aren't security forces. He specifically said "civilian national security force." Factcheck waves that phrase away as if he didn't actually say it, but he clearly did. It sounds pretty ominous even if you put it in context. Heck, especially if you put it in context. A "civilian national security force" that's as powerful as the U.S. military doesn't sound much like the Peace Corps to me.

Well. But he didn't really mean it.

He said it in a campaign speech.

Politicians say all kinds of things they don't mean. Duh!

Okay. Then who was he trying to impress?

Huh?

He said it in a campaign speech. He was trying to get people to vote for him. Who was he trying to impress with that?

Well... voters!

Yes, you adorable little scamp, but specifically: Who? What voters think we need a "civilian national security force" that's just as powerful and well-funded as our military? Which is, much to your chagrin, incredibly powerful and well-funded.

Um... young people?

Young people. The youth of America are itching to join Obama's private army. Okay, let's say you're right. Why do they want that?

They want that because...

Go on.

Because, y'know... they... Look, just because he said it doesn't mean he actually meant it!

There's no reason he'd say it unless he actually meant it. It wasn't in his prepared speech, and we all know what happens when he goes off-teleprompter: He starts saying what he really thinks. If only Joe the Plumber had been there to ask him to expand on it.

Man, you wingers are really something. You crybabies lose an election and you just can't handle it. Now you're calling him a power-hungry thug before he's even sworn in!

Your words, not mine. And I'm pretty sure a presidential candidate's public statements are fair game for analysis. Especially considering that he's never explained exactly what he meant by this. Because nobody in the media has asked. The people who would be affected by such a development deserve to know what he's planning, don't they?

...

Or would this "civilian national security force" be responsible for making sure we don't ask such questions? As Winston Churchill said, "No socialist system can be established without a political police."

...

Hello?

...

You still there? Did y--

RACIST!!!

(thx 4 the reminder, LauraW)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:45 AM

November 14, 2008

Pass it on:

Those who can't bomb, teach. Those who can't teach, teach Obama.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:02 PM

You know how I serve my community?

By obeying the laws and paying the taxes. So hey, what's wrong with more of both?

But even that's not enough, apparently.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:21 AM

November 09, 2008

This seemed too good to just leave in Breda's comments

I'm pretty much past being bummed about the election, and I'm choosing to view this whole thing as a real-time comedy/reality show. How hard will they have to twist themselves into knots to avoid admitting Obama made a mistake? Did Palin use too many ketchup packets at lunch today? Hey, Biden's eyes are now on the sides of his head. It's an interesting look, don't you think?

Ambling through the grocery store today, looking at all the faces, black, white, and otherwise, I felt a weird sort of elation. Like a weight being lifted, but something more: Soon they'll know. I don't have to keep trying to tell them. They will look back on these days of calm and plenty, and they'll realize what they've done. And so will I.

So I got that goin' for me.

Breda is great! And armed.

P.S. Er, I said that, not Breda. I left it in her comments. Sorry, I worded that vaguely. She really is great, though.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:38 AM

Anybody wanna buy some tulips?

The swooning frenzy over the choice of Barack Obama as President of the United States must be one of the most absurd waves of self-deception and swirling fantasy ever to sweep through an advanced civilisation.

I really don’t see how the Obama devotees can ever in future mock the Moonies, the Scientologists or people who claim to have been abducted in flying saucers. This is a cult like the one which grew up around Princess Diana, bereft of reason and hostile to facts.
-- Peter Hitchens

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:54 AM

November 08, 2008

Just to put things in perspective

It has been 21 months since Barack Obama announced his candidacy for President of the United States.

It has been four weeks since Joe Wurzelbacher asked Barack Obama about his tax plan.

Which man do you know more about?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:18 PM

Law Enforcement Finally Interested in Obama's Neighbors

Obama's Heightened Security Turns Neighborhood Into Virtual Fortress

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:37 PM

November 07, 2008

Now does he get to ask questions about them?

Our long national nightmare is over: Joe the Plumber just paid off his tax lien.

Oh, and the government functionary who abused her power in order to investigate him has been put on paid leave. Congratulations, taxpayers of Ohio. Your inquisitors can be assured of a soft landing. On your dime.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:21 PM

Paranoia or prophecy?

Based on what I've seen over the last two months, this seems all too plausible.

Another silver lining in all this is that at least we, the people (who've been paying attention) have an idea what this guy is all about. I've been inching my way through Alinsky's Rules for Radicals, and I encourage you to do the same. We need to understand who we're dealing with. And after that, I figure I'll finally get around to reading The Communist Manifesto. What, I shouldn't vet his lovely wife?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:39 AM

Still no apologies to Joe the Plumber over at Ze Frank

Demanding forgiveness without acknowledging your wrongdoing is just another way of suppressing dissent, as far as I'm concerned.

But I did like this one:

_funny_jackassery.jpg

It's labeled _funny_jackassery.jpg. I'm not sure if the submitter labeled it that way. If not, maybe "funny" is the conciliatory part.

Speaking of standards of human decency so basic that it depresses me to even need to explain them: It's great that Obama told his supporters not to boo McCain. But I'd be much more impressed if he'd told them not to investigate and defame Joe the Plumber. As a great man once said: "History is made at night. Character is what you do in the dark." When it came to standing up for one of his future constituents, even though the guy had the nerve to ask an honest question, Obama voted Present.

P.S. And my two comments at Ze Frank's blog don't seem to be going through. Which is his prerogative, of course. Maybe he's got a filter set for "plumber"?

P.P.S. And now Ze Frank has taken down the above pic. Again, his prerogative. Just seems worth noting.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:36 AM

Imani the Canvasser

Looks like a certain Indianapolis TV station isn't too fond of its broadcast license...

So, over the next four years, can we expect empty promises, inept bureaucracy, and unconvincing excuses? [Insert hollow Obama catchphrase here]

(thx, dave)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:44 AM

November 06, 2008

My letter to Ze Frank...

well_isnt_that_precious.jpg...regarding from 52 to 48 with love, which is his answer to 2004's unintentionally hilarious Sorry, Everybody. You know, the stupid site where people sent in pictures of themselves holding up signs apologizing to the world for not electing John Kerry. Except they're not sorry anymore, of course, because this time they won, and now everybody should just hold hands and do whatever Obama says. Well, here's the thing:

From: Me
To: Ze Frank
Subject: It's a noble idea, but actions speak louder than words

It's going to take a lot for me to get over the way Palin and Joe the Plumber have been treated, and I know I'm not alone in being skeptical about Obama's rhetoric. There's nothing like moving us all past the race issue by constantly reminding us you're black.

But in the spirit of oneness and Kumbaya and all that, I'll give you a better name for your project at no charge:

Rally, Everybody!

Thanks for your graciousness in victory, I guess,
Jim
http://jimtreacher.com

There's nothing easier than telling the guy you just beat that he should forget the depths you plumbed to do so.

And I forgot to mention the whole deal with, y'know, the last 8 years of lefty rage? It's just become such a part of the scenery, you almost forget sometimes. Plus Obama's voter fraud and credit-card fraud and constant lies about his past and false accusations of racism and the fact that he's already making far-left appointments and he wants to shut down talk radio because he can't handle criticism and all that other silly stuff we all need to get past now because we're going to need to work extra hard to pay for our own oppression. Whoops, there I go again!

P.S. I just remembered that, oh, right around this time four years ago, Matt Welch -- who was one of the guys who inspired me to blog, and who until that time seemed to enjoy my silliness -- decided he didn't like me anymore because I made fun of Sorry, Everybody. I stunk, suddenly, because I persisted in mocking lefty morons "regardless of who actually holds power in this country." The idea being that humor only works when it's directed toward authority figures, apparently.

So, great news, Matt: It's finally okay to like me again!

P.P.S. Sorry, everybody, it wouldn't have been the Sorry, Everybody stuff that Matt objected to. That came a few days later, now that I look at the datestamps on everything. (This is the Internet, and I can fact-check my ass!) No, I probably disappointed Matt with my heartless laughter at this poor fellow and this well-intentioned young man, both of whom were publicly protesting the mechanisms of democracy for failing to produce the result they desired. Well, upon further consideration... I still think that $#!+ is funny!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:45 PM

"Gary Coleman comes to mind"

Palin is great. Jindal seems pretty cool. But you know who I want the Republicans to nominate in 2012? This guy. I'd like to cast my ballot for him today, as is now our custom, apparently.

P.S. Other African-Americans who would be more acceptable as President: Al Sharpton, Flavor Flav, and the Pine-Sol lady.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:15 PM

A scene from Robert Gibbs' first White House press conference

bobbygibbs.jpgAccording to the Obamico, Obama's lovely and talented communications director will serve as his administration's first White House Press Secretary. This is gonna be awesome!

Gibbs: [Points] "Yes, Helen Thomas. Hello, good to see-- um, good to have you here, Helen."

Thomas: "Thank you." [coughs up cloud of dust] "I have a question and a followup: Why is Obama so amazing? And, is 'amazing' really adequate? Is there any word in any human language that can truly describe him?" [begins convulsing in ecstacy and croaking out steady stream of glossolalia]

Gibbs: [Joins her]

The hard-hitting news is about to get even more hard-hittingly hard-hitting.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:54 AM

"National Unity My Butt" followup

And we can call ourselves NUMBskulls!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:01 AM

Still working out the bugs on the whole wealth-spreading deal

Obama campaign workers angry over unpaid wages

Indianapolis - Lines were long and tempers flared Wednesday not to vote but to get paid for canvassing for Barack Obama. Several hundred people are still waiting to get their pay for last-minute campaigning. Police were called to the Obama campaign office on North Meridian Street downtown to control the crowd.

The line was long and the crowd was angry at times.

"I want my money today! It's my money. I want it right now!" yelled one former campaign worker.

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible...

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:37 AM

November 05, 2008

Do any of those racists at The Onion have tax liens? Or go by their middle names?


Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:56 PM

November 04, 2008

Hope...

...I'm wrong about the content of this man's character.

And that we can all react to this loss just a little bit better than our ever-dependable friends did four years ago.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:43 PM

Another reason to vote McCain/Palin

You can help spoil the big party they're planning for a guy who hasn't gotten the job:

It's probably not surprising that a lot of Barack Obama's biggest celebrity supporters -- both from Hollywood and the music world -- were clamoring for VIP invites to tonight's big rally in Grant Park.

While the Democratic nominee and his staff are thankful for both the big checks and outspoken expressions of support from all those famous faces, I've learned from a key Obama insider that a number of big-time boosters have been told politely -- but very firmly -- to stay away tonight...

''There really only needs to be one star in Grant Park, and that's Barack,'' said the source, a high-profile elected official who spoke on the condition of anonymity, since he's not authorized to speak for the campaign on this issue.

How about no stars? I like that idea even better.

And yet I keep seeing all this stuff about how the Obama campaign doesn't want to act like he's already won. As if he hasn't been doing that since the minute he elbowed Hillary down the basement steps and was all like, "What? I was just stretching."

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:31 AM

If you think I'm optimistic about McCain/Palin...

...I read HillBuzz and feel guilty that I haven't been doing more. Their latest, which is giving me energy this morning, is Five Reasons Obama Lost This Election:

(1) The Obamedia’s Attacks on Joe the Plumber
(2) Bitter, Gun-and-Religion-Clinging Small Town America
(3) Obamedia’s Nonstop Love Affair With Obama
(4) Obama’s Constant Playing of the Race Card
(5) PUMAs and Sarah Palin

Gotta read 'em all! Here's just a taste:

[Tonight], all of these "journalists" will be hemming and hawing as states like Pennsylvania go red for McCain, and absolute fools like Chuck Todd and Ben Smith will claim "no one saw this coming" when, in fact, a whole lot of someones saw this coming... and we all identify with Joe the Plumber, not Chris Matthews the Blathering Idiot...

The Obamedia, of course, will be completely shocked, but enough people read what we write here to hold these reporters accountable. If a bunch of amateurs in Chicago could figure out the true impact of Joe the Plumber on the electorate, then why couldn't actual "journalists"?

November 5th, someone needs to answer that.

Call me delusional all you want, but this just feels right to me. A lot of people are bothered by Obama's tactics and record, no matter how much the media tries to cover for him. It's just a matter of getting out there and performing your civic duty.

I just voted. Have you? If not, why are you still reading this? Get going! And remember:

Ignore the exit polls. They were wrong in 2004. Do not let them keep you from voting.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:14 AM

November 03, 2008

They've finally given me a good reason to hate Joe the Plumber

No, not because his first name is Sam. No, not because he owes some taxes he didn't know about until Obama's oppo researchers went after him. No, not because of any of the other stuff they've thrown at him to try to distract from The One's publicly avowed socialist beliefs.

I think I hate him now because he might have become close friends with this SNL cast member:

wiig.jpg

Lucky (allegedly) bastard! Well, he made Obama show his ass, so why couldn't he make Kristen Wiig show hers?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:02 PM

Gee, ya think?

Slate's John Dickerson asks:

If Obama Loses, Who Gets Blamed?
His loss would be disastrous for the media and political establishment.

Not that they're doing so hot as it is, but yeah. All the more reason to get out there tomorrow and vote for McCain/Palin.

Oh, and Mr. Dickerson?

"Don't be hoodwinked," [Obama] said of McCain's claims, a standard line, to which he added a less regular filigree: "Don't be bamboozled, don't fall for the okey-doke."

Since you're Slate's "chief political correspondent," undoubtedly you know that the calm, unflappable, middle-of-the-road Obama got that "hoodwinked and bamboozled" stuff from Malcolm X. I had to Google "the okey-doke" thing, but here's how the Austin Chronicle described it last February:

Obama's references to "the okey doke" seemed to baffle some commentators, although it's an old American (especially African-American) term for a feint, a juke, a balletic sidestep that dodges the direct attacks of an opponent and instead turns his own arguments and momentum against him.

See, that's how Obama is bringing us all together and marching us toward a post-racial future: by using racially coded language to divide people, in exactly the way he falsely accuses his opponent of doing. Okey-doke, boss!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:04 PM

If you're not voting for Obama, he's got a message for you

obamasalute.jpg

Just kidding. It's actually his way of congratulating John McCain on his campaign:

"But it's just an accident! An isolated incident!", you screech. "He's not really a sullen child who lashes out passive-aggressively when somebody stands in his way!" Well, he's certainly racked up quite a history of such "accidental isolated incidents" in a short period of time. This fits right into his established pattern of behavior. Just ask the PUMAs if they think it's an accident when Obama's middle finger comes out to punctuate his point about a rival:

bho-finger1.jpg

Dear Obamabots:

If you want us to stop "distracting people from the real issues" -- even though you also complain when we bring up real issues like Obama's tax plan, his economic theories, where he gets his ideas, where he gets his money, where he gets his votes, etc. -- you might want to convince your hero to stop flipping people off in public.

Yours Truly,
The Adults

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:30 AM

November 02, 2008

Josh the Choker

joshthechoker.jpg

Oof. Tipping your hand there, Josh, don't you think? Well, pressure makes people do strange things. Such as telling the truth in public about their socialistic views.

BTW, I screencapped the whole post so I couldn't be accused of taking Josh out of context.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:53 PM

Quoting presidential candidates at length is racist

Unless he's got the plans for a cold-fusion reactor hidden amongst his medical records and college records and all the other records he refuses to release, I'm not sure how he's going to bring about any sort of "change" that doesn't involve freezing to death in your own darkened house. Although I suppose balking at soaring energy costs is "selfish" too. Not to mention, as with every other substantive criticism of our pal Barry, racist.

Funny how he only says this kind of stuff in San Francisco. That's where he gave us that other nugget of gold about Pennsylvanians "clinging to guns and religion."

Speaking of San Fran (which is what I call it because I know they don't like it), has anybody there ever asked Obama why he's against gay marriage? I think Charles Karel Bouley might be interested in that one. Remember Bouley? He's the SF radio jackass who said Tony Snow deserved to get cancer, and then mewled about not being congratulated for his bravery in saying so. Now Bouley wants Joe the Plumber dead.

Once again: If Obama's such a shoo-in, why are his supporters losing the last remaining fragments of their minds?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:52 PM

If you click this image, you are a racist

wuo_obama_logos.jpg

You're also a racist if you:

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:00 AM

No We Can't

The Times of London, which won our hearts by calling Obama's infomercial a "mawkish weepathon," now gives us a glimpse into the mind of the Messiah:

Barack Obama's senior advisers have drawn up plans to lower expectations for his presidency if he wins next week's election, amid concerns that many of his euphoric supporters are harbouring unrealistic hopes of what he can achieve...

One senior adviser told The Times that the first few weeks of the transition, immediately after the election, were critical, "so there's not a vast mood swing from exhilaration and euphoria to despair".

Isn't it customary to win the election before you start telling your followers not to get their hopes up? If there's one thing Americans love, it's an arrogant scold telling them to simmer down.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:49 AM

November 01, 2008

This might be the line of the campaign

TedInATL:

When it comes to the economy, Obama can see the Soviet Union from his house.
Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:58 AM

October 31, 2008

Good news: At this rate, eventually you'll be considered rich!


Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:44 PM

Bill Clinton: Obama "Probably Won't Destroy America"

bill_n_barry.jpgKissimmee, FL -- During a joint appearance Wednesday with Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama, former President Bill Clinton came out with his strongest endorsement yet.

"This guy," Clinton began, before a significant pause. "What can you say about this guy? What. Can. Ya say."

With Sen. Obama smiling on at his side, Clinton continued: "As you all know, we had a tough fight earlier this year. Hillary and I, that is. Against the wonderful Barack Obama, I mean. And he won. I know, I get it. We allllll get it.

"And now... here I am. How about that."

After a smattering of applause, Clinton added, "Hey, one thing you won't have to worry about over the next four years? Having a president who's smarter than you. If you've ever felt intimidated by your commander-in-chief's superior command of the facts... well, that's not exactly gonna be a problem, is it? If you don't want the guy in the Oval Office reminding you of his experience and qualifications all the time: done deal.

"So, congratulations on that one."

Speaking over the cracking of the wooden podium under his grip, Clinton closed out his comments: "Look, if you're worried about dying of poverty or at the hands of a foreign enemy who senses our country's newfound weakness, I'd put it at... what? 60/40 against? I could go as high as 62. This genius over here probably won't destroy America."

As he knocked over the podium and left the stage without making eye contact with Sen. Obama, Clinton could be heard humming the 1985 Robert Palmer hit "Addicted to Love."

Previously:
Biden Clarifies Earlier Remarks on His Dread of an Obama Administration

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:07 PM

Don't want your taxes to go up? Barack Obama thinks you're selfish

Seriously. If you think you have a better idea what to do with your own money than the government does, you should be ashamed of yourself. Obama is saying that. In public. After the events of the last three weeks.

And yet McCain is supposed to be in trouble?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:35 PM

I like Hillary's supporters. That's right, I said it!

If you read only one blog post between now and Election Day, please make it this one at HillBuzz. These guys (or gals, or whoever they are) have seen Obama's mind games in the primaries, and they know the tricks he and his drones are trying to play on us:

(1) Calls for McCain to just give up and quit, because the race is over.

(2) Wild claims of Obama winning states that shock and surprise you.

(3) Repeated insistence that blacks and young people will decide this election, and they are all going to vote in record numbers for Obama.

They explain why you shouldn't believe these things, or believe in their importance, just because Obama desperately wants you to believe them. If he can't get you to vote for him, he's trying to get you to stay home Nov. 4. If you let him tell you what to do, then you'd better get used to it.

As HillBuzz says:

If you, collectively, can keep Republicans and other McCain voters from falling for these, we believe there’s nothing Obama can do to win this election. The ONLY way McCain loses is if you Eeyores allow the media to keep you from the polls.

Pass it on.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:57 AM

October 30, 2008

Another sign of Obama's inevitability

Fabulously wealthy celebrities are threatening to leave the country if he loses. Why would they say that if they thought such a thing was even possible?

Correction to the above-linked article, since the LAT can't afford editors anymore: Stephen Baldwin threatened to leave the country if Obama wins. And I'm pretty sure he was mocking all those other dopes.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:30 PM

How about Joe the Plaintiff?

Checks on Joe the Plumber more extensive than first acknowledged

Ask a question, and the government will retaliate. With the eager cooperation of the press. This is the future these guys want.

Question for Obama voters: How do you rationalize away all the evidence that your hero has done more to suppress free speech in the last 2 months than Bush has done in the last 8 years?

Followup: Is the cognitive dissonance making you crazier than you already were, or is your preexisting craziness helping you escape the reality of your own debasement?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:31 AM

At this point, I wouldn't be surprised

Beldar addresses Obama's tiny little credit-card fraud issue:

"The Obama-Biden campaign might just as well have set up dumpsters all over the world into which illegal donors could dump shopping bags full of cash donations made in unmarked small bills."

Noticing the brazen, arrogant malfeasance on the part of this presidential campaign is racist.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:25 AM

Introducing: Li'l Obama!

LOteaser.jpg

The great Batton Lash does it again (with a little help from yours truly). After the jump:

If you enjoyed this cartoon, you're a r-- Well, you know.

Previous Batton fun here, here, and here. And check out his fine comicky goodness at exhibitapress.com!

P.S. Feel free to post this on your own blog, but please don't hotlink it.

P.P.S. I totally forgot: Happy Birthday, Batton!

P.P.P.S. "I'm not quite sure if this is just crass or racist or both." Well, it's about Obama's own public statements. So of course it's crass! And it's drawn to resemble him. So of course it's racist!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:10 AM

October 29, 2008

Did Obama just lose Florida?

Can you say anything you want, as long as it's phrased as a question? If so, do you have the media to thank for that technique?

Doug Ross has received a tip from somebody (inside the L.A. Times?) who he says has given him good information before. The tipster says:

Saw a clip from the tape. Reason we can't release it is because statements Obama said to rile audience up during toast. He congratulates Khalidi for his work saying "Israel has no God-given right to occupy Palestine" plus there's been "genocide against the Palestinian people by Israelis."

It would be really controversial if it got out. That's why they will not even let a transcript get out.

So now let's all watch the LAT deny this, without providing the very evidence that would disprove it. If you ran a newspaper that was accused of hiding something like this, and you had the evidence to shove in your accusers' faces, I'll bet you could come up with a better excuse for withholding it. Let alone four lame excuses in a row. Why not just publish a photograph of the tape being eaten by a dog?

Forget the Great Schlep. This could be the Great Plotz.

P.S. Over at Dirty Harry's Place, the reward for the tape has gone up to $200,000. And apparently it's real money.

P.P.S. A former LAT reporter writes to the LAT:

"The moment a journalist says he is using a secret report to validate his work, and then refuses to reveal the full contents of the report, he is guilty of the kind of conduct that deservedly brought Sen. Joseph McCarthy to disgrace."
Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:46 PM

People sure do want the L.A. Times to start doing its job

It's turning into quite a payday for the brave soul, John or Jane the Whistleblower, who produces a copy of this tape everybody's talking about. Go to Dirty Harry's Place and scroll down.

And think back to, oh, right around this time 8 years ago. What was the big story?

Bush Acknowledges 1976 DUI Charge
November 2, 2000

We get it, media geniuses: If the guy's a Republican, then it's entirely relevant to bring up a misdemeanor from a quarter-century before. Big, big news. Gotta get it out there. But if the guy's a Democrat, then a five-year-old tape of him partying with a PLO flunky -- not to mention William Ayers and Bernardine Dohrn, the Steve & Eydie of insane America-haters -- is ancient history. Just another distraction.

But then, you guys have minimized or outright ignored many, many other stories that could reflect badly on Obama. Why should you treat his eager participation in a Jew-bashing bash any differently?

Go ahead, LAT. Keep it to yourself and let us imagine the worst.

P.S. And to all you other [9-letter word that rhymes with "sickbeds"]: If you can twist a diplomatically worded 90-second greeting on video into a ludicrous claim that Palin is a secessionist, we can bring up Obama's active, in-person participation in this event. And that goes double for the repellent cave creature who's always interrupting Hannity.

P.P.S. And: "Two-thirds of the record-breaking haul Obama raised for the final stretch of the campaign comes from a racket set up to facilitate fake names, phony addresses and untraceable cards." Move along. Nothing to see here. Buy your tickets for the coronation or your name will be put on the watchlist. And now, here's the half-hour prime time infomercial, paid for by None of Your Business.

P.P.P.S. Do you suppose this Obama/Khalidi tape would be news to the victims of The Great Schlep?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:58 AM

October 28, 2008

Will Vote 4 Food

Judge rules Ohio homeless voters may list park benches as addresses

Obama is inevitable, huh?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:43 PM

Mocking false accusations of racism is racist

The great Batton Lash looks at ATTYNSTSAO (All The Things You're Not Supposed To Say About Obama). The cartoon's a little wider than my blog margins, so it's after the jump:

Code_Words.jpg

Check out Batton's site, exhibitapress.com!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:34 PM

Say...

NRO:

Let's try a thought experiment. Say John McCain attended a party at which known racists and terror mongers were in attendance. Say testimonials were given, including a glowing one by McCain for the benefit of the guest of honor ... who happened to be a top apologist for terrorists. Say McCain not only gave a speech but stood by, in tacit approval and solidarity, while other racists and terror mongers gave speeches that reeked of hatred for an American ally and rationalizations of terror attacks.

Now let’s say the Los Angeles Times obtained a videotape of the party.

Let's say you read the rest. Say this is highly reminiscent of the way the LAT turned a blind eye to the Rielle Hunter story, except this one actually matters to you and me. Say it's no wonder the LAT just laid off 10% of their staff.

Say we don't need these unethical bums anymore to find out the truth.

P.S. Even more bad news for the LAT: Patterico.com is back.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:11 PM

October 27, 2008

Mark Levin is analyzing the latest Obama audio right now

Listen. (XM Ch. 166, Sirius Ch. 144, syndicated stations & times here)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:13 PM

Reality keeps confirming that kuh-razy ol' right-wing rhetoric

The polls are crap.

Obama is a socialist -- I repeat: a socialist, a guy who thinks the government doesn't have enough control over you -- who tries to repress free speech and pals around with terrorists.

The media is willing to betray its own ideals, not to mention sacrifice its own well-being, to cover up Obama's misdeeds via obfuscation or just plain suppression of the truth.

Nothing to see here, folks. Just do as you're told, and Obama will make everything okay. He controls the tides. He'll give you free lollipops for life. Don't ask questions and nobody gets hurt.

P.S. Until the Obama campaign manages to take this down:

P.P.S. Full transcript.

P.P.P.S. HillBuzz, AKA the people who've experienced firsthand how low the Obama campaign will go, has some good advice: "We can make Obama's socialist admission viral."

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:12 AM

October 25, 2008

From cop-killer to cop-caller

I don't like Bill O'Reilly. Usually I can't watch him for more than a few minutes unless he puts Mary Katherine Ham on the screen with him. (Sometimes he even lets her finish a sentence!) But he is to be commended for being the first guy to even look for William Ayers:

What does Joe the Plumber do when you stick a microphone in his face? He acknowledges you. He answers your questions.

Because he hasn't done anything wrong.

They've all gone after a guy who fixes pipes to distract us from the guy who used them to blow stuff up. Before he realized he could do a lot more damage to America with a stealth bomb wrapped in a $1,500 suit and remote-controlled by a teleprompter.

Time to defuse it.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:56 PM

October 24, 2008

Hey, why did you donate to Obama?

Recently it's been alleged that the Obama campaign has disabled online security settings that would prevent illegal credit card donations, thus opening the doors for massive fraud. Which, Obama's detractors claim, is why he's raised an unprecedented amount of wealth that he's spreading around to advertising agencies, television networks, video game manufacturers, and anybody else who'll put his name, face, and soothing words on something.

I decided to look past the spin and ask the folks who really know what's going on: the donors themselves. Here's what a few of them said!

  • "I donated because America is ready for a change." -- Spider Mann
  • "Anything I can do to help. He's handsome and he makes me feel happy inside." -- Paul Bunyan
  • "You mean you haven't seen him dance?" -- Al J. Zira
  • "McCain is super-old. Why isn't he young? I like 'em young." -- Cruella de Vil
  • "I've always been a fan of slogans I don't need to think about too much." -- P.W. Herman
  • "If my $199 donation under a different name every 10 minutes can't save our country, I don't know what can." -- Hugh G. Rection
  • "What's wrong with being social? Besides: Social Security. Hello?" -- K. Powers
  • "It is least I can do for nation I am loving so much, my longtimes home since to be, ehhhhh, birth: the America." -- V. Putin
  • "I feel guilty about not paying enough taxes." -- Arthur Fonzarelli
  • "Did you see the shoes that c*** was wearing?" -- Dora T. Explorer
  • "I'm sick of being called a racist." -- Auric Goldfinger
  • "Thees keed's got the goods!" -- Fidel C.
  • "After 8 long years, it's finally time for some transparency in government." -- Captain Silly Ppppbbhht

And another right-wing smear bites the dust. Nice try, wingnuts!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:42 AM

How to prove Barack Obama is not a socialist in 5 easy steps

  1. Give a dictionary definition of socialism.
  2. Ignore how Obama's uncharacteristically honest answer to Joe the Plumber (whoops, no teleprompter!) dovetails with The One's well-documented longtime friendships and working relationships with a bunch of radical socialists.
  3. "A Republican did something that could be called socialist, which means Obama isn't an even bigger one."
  4. Point to a phony poll and claim the message isn't connecting with voters.
  5. Hit Send.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:55 AM

What's $5.3 million divided by $150,000?

The Temple of Barack cost $5.3 million. That's how much the DNC spent on the ridiculously overblown backdrop to Obama's dumb acceptance speech that nobody could even remember 24 hours later. Too bad they didn't add a few more Greek columns, or we could call it the Six Million Dollar Sham.

barackoplis.jpg

And I don't see him traveling with that set. (At least Spinal Tap got some use out of their Stonehenge.) Is the DNC auctioning it off for charity, like the RNC is going to do with the Palin family's campaign threads?

Perspective: 45 minutes of fascist iconography = Two months's worth of clothing for 35 Palin families. A subject, by the way, that you're only bringing up to distract people from Biden's public promise that if Obama is elected, we will be attacked.

The Palins aren't millionaires. She hasn't written two autobiographies about how great she is. She's not keeping the clothes. And now you guys have opened up this line of rebuttal. You really messed up.

Again.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:54 AM

Hey, maybe it'll be on SNL this week

nytlink4.jpg

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:14 AM

October 23, 2008

Whatever you say, Opie, as long as you promise to pay my tax bills

This helpful reminder from Obama for America: Time is a bitch.

"I'm not telling you this as a Republican or a Democrat. I'm telling you this as an overpaid, underinformed circus clown."

And why's Ron so desperate? Why are the people who don't vote the way he wants us to vote "scared"? I thought Obama had nothing to worry about.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:57 PM

Obama is not a Democrat just because he says he is, anymore than a wolf is your grandma just because he’s wearing her bonnet

Something to remember the next time one of these Axelturfers says you're accusing all Democrats of being socialists. No, just the ones who espouse socialism.

Look: Obama was asked a simple question that he wasn't adequately prepared to answer falsely. And it confirmed what we'd already suspected from his long history with William Ayers and Saul Alinsky and ACORN and the other socialists who've shaped his view of the world. Deal with it.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:56 PM

As long as the Palin family's wardrobe budget is on the table, how about Obama's iffy donations?

Is his campaign involved in massive credit card fraud? (Please note how I framed it as a question, so I can make the accusation without consequences. Thanks for the helpful hint, media!)

Steyn is all over this today: here, here, here, here, here, and here. That last one is the most important one right now: Don't make a donation under a phony name to test it. They're already verified it.

If this is true, and Obama knows about it, I don't see how it can possibly matter. He was only 5 years old when MasterCard was founded.

P.S. And if it's true, does he still get to spend his ill-gotten gains on that primetime infomercial? Can he still afford the rent on the offices of the New York Times?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:47 PM

Yes We Hen

David Sedaris sure doesn't like undecided voters:

To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. "Can I interest you in the chicken?" she asks. "Or would you prefer the platter of s*** with bits of broken glass in it?"

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

Please note that in his own subtle, witty fashion, Sedaris just called Barack Obama a chicken. In the New Yorker. And he got away with it!

Do you suppose he had anything to do with this ad?


Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:41 AM

October 22, 2008

Sarah Palin's The Palin family's new wardrobe cost about as much as Obama's stupid Greek columns

barack_stadium.jpg

Pass it on.

So, putting up a ridiculous stage set that made Obama look like a fascist jackass, and then packing it away after one night? That was fine. $140,000-150,000 well spent. But spending the same amount on enough clothes for two months on the campaign trail? That's the biggest scandal since... well, since all the other Palin scandals that weren't.

Have they made an attack on Palin yet that hasn't backfired? Do they think we won't know when it backfires, just because they don't report it on NBC?

P.S. Oh, and now it turns out that the money was to clothe her whole family. How about that. But I'm sure if the Palins were running around in what they wore before she got picked, none of these brainiacs would've had anything bad to say about that.

Did you know Obama's clothes descended from the heavens on a glowing golden cloud? Also, he's a radical socialist and his own running mate said he'll start another world war. But whatever.

P.P.S. That price tag was only for the columns themselves. The whole thing cost... you won't even believe it. If there's an axiom that sums up the Obama campaign, it's this: The more ridiculous something sounds, the more likely it is that it's true.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:21 PM

Finally, Obama says something that's demonstrably true

"Don't underestimate the capacity of Democrats to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Don't underestimate our ability to screw it up."

Is Biden rubbing off on him, or vice versa?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:02 PM

You bet I am

And if Obama gets elected and you stand in his way, or so much as refuse to avert your eyes, you'll be Joe the Plumber too.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 05:44 AM

October 21, 2008

Speaking of Obama's clothes...

The great Batton Lash weighs in on our new friend Joe the Plumber, who had no idea a mere 10 days ago that he'd ever plumb the depths of the media's shamelessness:

noclothes.jpg

If you think there should be a fourth panel where Obama says something to try to stop it, you must know something the rest of us don't.

Previous Batton: Hope!

P.S. If you post this cartoon, please link to Batton's site, exhibitapress.com. He does some cool comics.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:51 PM

It's a bit awkward, but "pickpocket" would be [the R-word]

Palin dubs Obama: 'Barack the Wealth Spender'

But fine, I'll say it, for Google purposes: Barack the Pickpocket. Hey, if they're going to call you a racist no matter what, why not tell the truth?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:57 PM

Two ways you know McCain and Palin are saying something true about Obama

  1. Somebody in the comments of a blog desperately insists McCain and Palin are lying and it's not going to work and nobody cares.
  2. A media professional or other prominent Democrat calls it racist.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:32 PM

Misogynists for Obama

"The problem for Obama isn't ambition, it's hubris. A more grounded politician would have put in the work to match their aspirations. That Obama hasn't done that bespeaks a tremendous, even scary, overconfidence."

-- An adult

Oh wait, that quote is actually about Sarah Palin, and it's from Ezra Klein. I saw it at a great new site called frighteningprospect.com, which -- and I might need to double-check this -- leans a bit to the left. Here's how they're combating the scary, scary hate speech (that never actually happened) from the evil Republicans:

calm_well-informed_analysis.jpg

Please send this to every undecided voter you know. If this doesn't convince them one way or another, I don't know what will.

P.S. And remember, if somebody yells "Tell 'im!" at a Palin rally, and a very stupid reporter either mishears it or outright distorts it as a threat, that's right-wing hate speech from hateful right-wing haters who lean to the right. That's national news. But this kind of crap, it's just "on the fringe."

You want to wear a t-shirt that says Sarah Palin is a See You Next Tuesday? Hey, this is America. You want to hurt a defenseless woman for daring to hold a McCain/Palin sign? Ahhh, no big deal. Want to trick McCain into a photo shoot for a national magazine, and then use the pictures for the vilest propaganda imaginable? Artistic license. Want to say "F*** all y'all" to an entire political party on your former comedy show? Brave social commentary. Want to plaster up signs in public places depicting Palin as a bloodthirsty ghoul? Youthful exuberance.

Want to yell "Tell 'im!" at a political rally? You racist. You Nazi. You Republican.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:07 PM

Still planning to vote for Him?

Read this.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:06 AM

In which I give Obama a bad rap

A little over a month ago -- time flies! -- I shared a rap I wrote for Obama to help him remind America that John McCain is a war hero with crippling torture injuries. Apparently the Obama campaign has dropped that tactic for some reason, but given all the events since then, I thought I'd have another go at helping him out.

Barry, please feel free to spit this educational rhyme at your next speech, rally, or Black Liberation Theology reading group:

Well! My! Name is Barack and I'm gonna raise your taxes
Intimidated media won't tell ya what the facts is

That plumber was a bummer when his question caused a schism
'Tween the folks who like their paychecks and the fans of socialism

I hung out with a terrorist for 10 or 20 years
But don't you bring it up, or I'll holla "Fight the Smears!"

You racists try to stop me with your bigotry and hate
Just because my bestest buddies used to laugh at Sharon Tate

I've spent a half a billion on an advertising blitz
But according to the polls I worship, it ain't doin' $#!+

I'm getting mad donations and I'm gonna get some mo'
From my man Good Will and my buddy Doodad Pro

My campaign calls your house all day and bugs you while you're eatin'
And ACORN ain't about to stop the unrepentant cheatin'

I smirk, I'm a jerk, and I work within the system
To bring about a class war that will crush capitalism

Alinsky is a prophet and I think you oughta listen
I'll send an "Action Wire" if you even try to diss him

It's only a coincidence I'm going into hidin'
After weeks of harsh attacks by an imbecile named Biden

So don't you mess with me or I'll vet ya till you're quiet
And if I'm not elected, then there's gonna be a riot

PEACE!!

What. They did it to Palin. Was mine as good?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:22 AM

Sick grandma.

Okay.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:40 AM

October 20, 2008

But Obama was only 40 years old when Ayers said this


Regrets? He's had a few, but then again: "Is it one of those regrets that I took extreme measures against the United States at a time of tremendous crisis? No, it is not. I don't regret that."

Palin is supposed to be held responsible when somebody at one of her rallies yells "Tell 'im!" and a reporter, The Man in the Orange Hat, hears "Kill 'im!" And we're supposed to believe Obama didn't know anything about his close friend and colleague William Ayers publicly bragging about his crimes.

This is kind of like the Rielle Hunter media coverup, except with the orphaned offspring of murdered police officers.

Do you still subscribe to a newspaper? If so, why?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:52 PM

I'd say "cut it out," but you know how I feel about puns

Quick note to the jerks who don't understand that there are plenty of legitimate ways to oppose Obama's supporters: If you slash their tires, they can't go away.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:24 PM

Good thing he missed his flight that morning, huh?

Family Guy's Seth MacFarlane compares McCain and Palin to the Nazis.

Ask me again why I'm not worried.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:43 AM

Is mentioning that Obama wants to raise your taxes a distraction from the economy?

I admit, I don't really understand the whole Freddie & Fannie thing. I know it has to do with people being encouraged to buy mortgages they couldn't afford, and that the politicians who made that possible are now telling me they're the only ones who can fix it. And I know it's causing big problems with the economy, with lots of huge numbers being thrown around. But it's all a bit abstract.

Having to pay taxes? That I understand. Being told I should pay more so that somebody who's even lazier than I am can get a handout? That I understand.

And I understand not wanting to be crucified for asking about it.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:05 AM

Did Obama really start his political career in the living room of a radical socialist cop-killer?*

Patterico, a name whispered in solemn tones within the increasingly lonely halls of the Los Angeles Times, has dug up evidence that Obama did in fact get his start in the home of William Ayers and Bernadette Dohrn. More specifically, evidence that somebody's trying to scrub that fact from the Internet. If it's not true, why try to hide it? Why not update the post and just say, "You know, I remembered that wrong. Never mind."

You need to decide, Obama fans: Either this stuff didn't happen, or it happened but I'm not supposed to care that he lied about it. You need to pick one or the other and stick with that.

P.S. Patterico has a screenshot of the now-deleted post from the Musings & Migraines blog, which is still archived here. And in the interest of "information wanting to be free" (thanks, lefties!), here's the full text:

Thursday, January 27, 2005
Get to know Barack Obama
When I first met Barack Obama, he was giving a standard, innocuous little talk in the livingroom of those two legends-in-their-own-minds, Bill Ayers and Bernardine Dohrn. They were launching him--introducing him to the Hyde Park community as the best thing since sliced bread. His "bright eyes and easy smile" struck me as contrived and calculated--maybe because I was supporting another candidate. Since then, I've never heard him say anything new or earthshaking, or support anything that would require the courage of his convictions. I only voted for him in this last race--because his opponent was a pinhead. And I've been mostly alone in my views. But maybe that's changing.

Thanks, Barack. By voting to confirm Condoleezza Rice for Secretary of State you confirmed my opinion of you as someone who will not come through when it counts. You voted with the entire Republican membership rather than your compadre, Dick Durbin, and the man you supported for president, John Kerry. Your sense of collegiality is ridiculous under the circumstances.

What are all those people who thought you walked on water thinking now? I'm just wondering who's going to whisper in President CandyAss's ear when Condo's busy playing Secretary of State.

Back in January 2005, what possible reason would this woman have to make this up? Did she just pick three names at random?

P.P.S. Considering the events of the last two months: If you think this story is important, I highly encourage you to cut and paste the preceding quote onto your own blog, with a link to the archived copy. They can't stop all of us. Yet.

Here's the Google cache, in case that other one disappears.

*Sorry, make that two radical socialist cop-killers.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:00 AM

October 19, 2008

"Spread the wealth around"

Just a reminder that those are the four words Obama wants you to forget he ever said.

Hang in there, Joe. And get some rest, guys. Stay sharp.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:41 PM

Here's how to answer "Did you know the Annenberg Challenge was funded by a Republican and included many Republican leaders?"

"Well, how about that. Did you know the planes used on 9/11 weren't built by terrorists?"

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:33 PM

The sprawling skyscraper where Barack Obama and William Ayers worked together for years but never laid eyes on each other

135 south sangamon.JPG

"Yes, Ayers and I worked on the same floor, but don't all buildings have floors? Are we going to check all the floors in all the buildings? This is just a distraction from the distraction I'm trying to distract you with." And so on, and so forth.

Given Obama's proven fondness for the working man, perhaps this building has a custodian who can keep Joe the Plumber company under the bus. Not a lot of room left down there...

P.S. Better pic.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:46 PM

"We speak truth to plumber"

Steyn!

One correction: Joe wasn't on a rope line. He didn't go out of his way to accidentally expose Obama's big secret. Well, one of his big secrets. Obama quite literally came to Joe. And now David Axelrod is atoning for his very, very serious mistake -- letting Obama wander around in public without a script -- by sending his astroturfing kiddies all over the Internet to defame Joe and distract us all from Obama's publicly admitted socialism. Then those lies and half-truths and rumors get funnelled from the left-wing blogs to the "news." The exact same process they used, and are still using, to try to derail Palin.

I'm not the only one who can see this, right?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:18 PM

Archives are racist

obama_ayers_review.jpg

ayers-book-cap-highlighted.jpg

It's not a Photoshop. Besides, if it's not important, why would you try to say it's a Photoshop? And he really is mentioned in the book. By the guy he barely knew well enough to say hi to when they worked in the same small office for three years.

I can just see it now: "These clippings are fake, and besides, I didn't really like the book as much as I claimed. I was only 35 when I didn't write that." Etc. Same thing with this Joe the Plumber smear campaign, and "100% of my opponent's ads are negative," and "I never heard Rev. Wright say a single bad thing in 20 years," and every other attempt to cover up something that might make voters think twice about Obama. He and his acolytes will say anything and make themselves believe anything.

The Obama Way: Just throw out every denial and non sequitur you can think of, even if they contradict each other. Scatter so much chaff that your opponents get distracted by all of it, and the people who aren't paying close enough attention eventually shrug and say, "He couldn't be that big of a liar, could he?" And do it with a calm, earnest tone and a serious look on your face to hypnotize morons like Christopher Buckley.

If you support Obama, please watch some TV Land and realize that you want to elect Eddie Haskell.

I have to believe that enough voters are seeing through his rhetorical tactics, and resisting his effort to turn our doubts about the content of his character into doubts about the color of his skin. Enough voters are catching on to make a difference. He can't brainwash everybody.

Can he?

P.S. On Oct. 8, Obama's communication director had this to say about the Obama/Ayers friendship to Sean Hannity and the other one:

HANNITY: Wait a minute. Wait, he did blurb his book, you know?

GIBBS: No.

Communication directed.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:04 PM

They are sweeping Obama's socialist answer to Joe Wurzelbacher's question under the rug

The Associated Press has a story about Joe's appearance on Mike Huckabee's new show on Fox News last night. Apparently Joe talked about how much fun he's not having as these rabid media freaks try to tear him apart. But the story totally skips over why they're trying to tear him apart:

Wurzelbacher became famous after he met Obama and said the Democrat's tax proposal could keep him from buying the two-man plumbing company where he works. However, reports of Wurzelbacher's annual earnings suggest he would receive a tax cut rather than an increase under Obama's plan.

Who's doing the suggesting? Beats me. Must have been suggested in the hourly instructions they get from the Obama campaign.

More importantly, there is no indication whatsoever of how Obama replied to the question. In case you missed it, this is what he said:

"It's not that I want to punish your success. I want to make sure that everybody who is behind you, that they've got a chance for success, too. My attitude is that if the economy's good for folks from the bottom up, it's gonna be good for everybody. I think when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody."

They can't repeat that, of course. They can't risk even more people finding out that Obama is a socialist. Even though it's the only real reason we're still even talking about Joe the Plumber.

It is completely bizarre. There's no stated explanation in the AP story why Joe's the target of this media assault. They're attacking him, you see, because they're attacking him.

Yeah, McCain mentioned him in the debate, fine. That doesn't explain why they're treating Joe like this. Is he the first person McCain's ever mentioned in a debate? Is he the first person who's ever asked a politician about taxes?

No. He's under assault because he happened to be there when Obama was caught without a teleprompter and started babbling about socialism in front of a TV camera.

We need to get in their faces. We need to say, "Why are you doing this?" We need to get them to admit it.

info@ap.org

P.S. Here's the interview (thx, michele). Huckabee gets it:


Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:00 AM

His story hasn't changed; we're just too dumb to get it straight

  • trustme.JPG"William Ayers is just a guy who lives in my neighborhood."
  • trustme2.JPG"I talked to him now and then, but I had no idea what he had done until later. I will now repeat the phrase 'detestable acts' 27 times."
  • trustme3.JPG"Yes, like I said, he launched my political career in his own living room and I knew about the bombings and stuff all along, but I thought he had been rehabilitated. I learned about it some time after we met, which we have yet to do."
  • trustme4.JPG"Sure, we served on some boards together and spent tens of millions of other people's dollars on an 'education foundation' that would frighten any reasonable person who learned anything about it, which they won't because the press isn't interested and I have no knowledge of it. As I have maintained all along, and I'm surprised you're misremembering this, I've acknowledged that Ayers and I were colleagues. But I never knew about those despicable acts he acted upon despicably, which I condemned then and still do."
  • trustme.JPG"Did you know I was never actually a member of the Weather Underground? I resent that you're accusing me of something you're not accusing me of. That bad stuff happened 40 years ago, which means it couldn't possibly have repercussions now. Despicable acts are detestable and vice versa."
  • trustme2.JPG"The fact that I wrote a newspaper blurb (accompanied by my picture) for one of Ayers' books, a book in which I was mentioned by name, has been known all along. I am filing a lawsuit against the GOP for spreading this disgraceful lie. You are getting very sleepy."
  • trustme3.JPG"Did Bill Ayers and I work in the same office for three years? Of course we did. I've never denied that. And yes, it was a very small office, which [grins] was not illegal the last time I checked. But his desk was facing in a completely different direction than mine, and I wasn't even born yet when that building was constructed. Also, there are lots of buildings in Chicago. Look, this is boring. Can I be president now?"

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:35 AM

Good question

hi_socialist.jpg"What, exactly, is so awful about 'spreading the wealth'?"

Oh, nothing.

Now that we've cleared that up, Mr. Cohn, I'll take yours. Gimme. I haven't earned it, but it's not fair that you have more than I do. Hand it over. No, you don't have any choice in the matter. No, you don't even know me. No, you don't know what I'm going to spend your money on. It's none of your business. Obama said I could have it. What are you, a racist? Cough it up. Show a little patriotism. There we go.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:01 AM

October 18, 2008

My letter to Jodi Kantor of the New York Times

From: Me
To: kantor@nytimes.com
Re: I've got a hot tip on Cindy McCain

jodikantor.jpgShe's got really pretty eyes. Do you think you can use that?

Well, it was worth a shot. In any case, thanks for trying to trick a teenage girl into helping you with your hatchet piece on her friend's mom by pretending to be friendly to her. All's fair, right?

I'm assuming you guys have time before the election to do a followup story on Cindy's surreptitious nosepicking or something. Unless you're still busy "vetting" Joe the Plumber's parking tickets, overdue DVD rentals, and whatever else you can dig up to distract us from Barack Obama's now-revealed radical socialism. Not to mention all the various other unsavory aspects of Obama's character and record that might prevent him from taking office if you weren't suppressing them. Good thing you guys did pinky swears!

Just kidding. A lot of people say that you folks know you're not going to be in business for much longer, so this might be your last chance to throw an election. They say you'll go to any lengths to protect the Democrat. Especially since he's a Democrat you can point to and say, "There. See? This proves I'm not a racist!" But I don't believe a word of it. You're just doing what you know in your heart is right.

Hey, did you know that the guy who has befriended and mentored Obama for decades, and even babysat his kids, is also responsible for the death of several cops? And he's still pretty pumped about it? Yawn!

Why don't you go ahead and have a great day.

Your pal,
Jim Treacher
http://jimtreacher.com

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:05 PM

Obama is a socialist, and the press is going after Joe "The Plumber" Wurzelbacher as a way of distracting us from that

I don't have anything to add to it that I haven't said already. Just thought it was worth putting in big bold letters.

Joe "The Plumber" Wurzelbacher... sounds like a pro wrestler! And can you prove he's not one, you wingnuts?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:24 PM

My letter to Time Magazine

From: Me
To: letters@time.com
Re: Thank you for exposing the truth about Joe the Plumber

Does this mean Obama isn't really a socialist?

It's almost like you guys are digging through this ordinary working man's life to distract us from how Obama answered a simple, honest question about his tax plan. But why in the world would you do that? It's not like it would hurt Obama's chances if you focused on how, in his own words, he wants to take my money -- on top of what I'm paying to the government already -- and hand it to people who haven't earned it. And I don't get to choose how much he takes, or who it goes to. Because otherwise, Obama says, life isn't fair.

AKA socialism.

But no, this plumber is the real problem. Get him!

You guys had better buy a bigger coffee machine for your subscriptions department, if you can still afford it. They are going to be working overtime on this one.

Jim Treacher
http://jimtreacher.com

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:10 PM

And the week's biggest victim of a hostile media is:

Barack Obama!

"I am convinced that if there were no Fox News, I might be two or three points higher in the polls. If I were watching Fox News, I wouldn't vote for me, right?

"Because the way I'm portrayed 24/7 is as a freak! I am the latte-sipping, New York Times-reading, Volvo-driving, no-gun-owning, effete, politically correct, arrogant liberal. Who wants somebody like that?"

I would've guessed cappuccino.

It's not enough that he has the overwhelming majority of the media -- not to mention the left-wing blogs that are apparently their main source of information -- in his pocket. He can brook no disagreement whatsoever. Want to go on the radio to talk about his past? You must be stopped. Want to put out ads about his positions on the issues? You must be stopped. Want to ask him a question when he descends from the heavens into your neighborhood while you're playing football with your kid? You must be stopped.

Obama is the victim, no matter what. That really is how he sees himself. Vote for President Princess!

Why do you think Palin knocked him for a loop in the first round? Because she mocked his behavior. She got big laughs by repeating his rhetoric. She saw his biggest weakness, his huge, easily bruised ego, and zeroed in on it. He's learned from that -- note his amazingly genuine laughter at McCain's home-hitting zingers the other night -- but not soon enough.

And obviously not completely enough. We can see you, Barack. Keep whining about how mean the meanies are.

If you vote for this narcissist, then you'd better be prepared for at least 4 years of agreeing with every single thing he says and does. Keep your mouth shut, racist. Or he'll get his guys to shut it for you.

P.S. You want to see Joe's license to question Obama? Dig up his birth certificate. Joe's, I mean. Obama's is off-limits.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:34 AM

Obama's answer to Joe's question

I just realized that I haven't actually quoted him, assuming that you already know exactly what he said. You probably do. But that's why they're going after Joe for asking a question about Obama's tax plan, to distract us from Obama's answer. So it can't hurt to repeat it:

"It's not that I want to punish your success. I want to make sure that everybody who is behind you, that they've got a chance for success, too. My attitude is that if the economy's good for folks from the bottom up, it's gonna be good for everybody. I think when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody."

Obama doesn't want to punish your success; he just wants to take the fruits of your labor and give them to people who haven't earned them. He wants to force you to give the amount of his choice to the charity of his choice. Don't worry about it, he'll take care of the whole thing.

Obama is a socialist. Pass it on.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:42 AM

Maybe I haven't been looking, but in the media frenzy to destroy Joe the Plumber, here's a quote I haven't seen much since Wednesday

This exchange from the debate is very revealing:

"Nobody likes taxes. Let's not raise anybody's taxes."

"Well, I don't mind paying a little more."

I'll let you guess which one said which. Hint: The second guy is now trying to crush a plumber from Ohio for asking a question. Or at the very least isn't speaking out against ruining the man's life.

"I don't mind paying a little more." Well, good for you. I sure as hell do.

If "it's the economy, stupid," aren't higher taxes part of the discussion? I'm no economist, but I do know that every dollar I give to the government is a dollar I can't put into the economy. One campaign is saying they want to lower my taxes, and the other campaign is questioning my patriotism if I complain about higher taxes. And millionaires like Diane Sawyer and Katie Couric are backing up the latter. I would suggest that they find the nearest large body of water and hurl themselves in.

And don't give me that "95%" crap. Why doesn't Obama just go all-out and promise that 110% of Americans will get a tax cut? (Oddly enough, that's the same percentage of Americans who've registered to vote.)

If we're going to plunge headlong into outright socialism, then I want some of what George Clooney's got. You're a big Obama backer, right, George? Well then, put your money where your wagging, chiseled chin is. It's not fair that you've got so much more than I do. I'll take one of your houses and one of your cast-off girlfriends. Doesn't have to be one of the good ones in either category. Whatever you can spare, genius.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:12 AM

Why hasn't McCain conceded yet?

Editor & Publisher is brimming with confidence:

The Obama-Biden ticket maintains its strong lead in the race for newspaper endorsements, picking up 17 more papers in the past day, including the giant Los Angeles Times and Chicago Tribune on Friday afternoon (see separate story), and the Denver Post, Atlanta Journal-Constitution, The Salt Lake Tribune, Kansas City Star, Southwest News-Herald (Ill.) and Chicago Sun-Times tonight.

Maybe I haven't been paying close enough attention, but has there really been a race for newspaper endorsements? Have we replaced the electoral college with the editorial college?

Oh wait, I get it. This is yet another sign of the futility of voting for McCain, right? "The newspapers I don't read anymore unless a trustworthy blog links to them, they favor Obama 3-1. Sure, most reporters are liberals and they've given up denying it, but still. Guess it really is over."

Yet another sign of doom and gloom, my McCain-sympathizing friends:

The readership of the 53 newspapers backing Obama now stands at well over 7 million.

Which is somewhat over 1/3rd of Rush Limbaugh's audience. He's endorsing Obama too, I think? Not sure; I'm more of a Mark Levin fan. Thank me!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:50 AM

October 17, 2008

The look. Of love. Is in. Your eyes.

thelookoflove.jpg

She just can't get enough of that McCain, huh?

As Lisa Schiffren points out, that's quite a lot of ice Couric is wearing. It might be worth more than the business Joe Wurzelbacher was thinking about starting, before he became Public Enemy #1 for listening to Obama espouse socialism. I sure hope Couric and her ilk lecture the plumber some more about how he should do his patriotic duty by subsidizing other people's failures.

They'd better do it before Joe's public beheading Monday night, though. Olbermann and Matthews are anchoring MSNBC's primetime hatchet-to-hatchet coverage. Take a drink every time Olby addresses Joe's head on a pike as "Sir."

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:20 PM

Did William Ayers babysit Obama's kids?

I don't know. But it's at least as solid a lead as, just to pick an example at random, "Sarah Palin is Trig's grandma." Which the NYT and CNN and everybody else ran with. It's at least as solid a lead as, just to pick another example at random, "Joe the Plumber isn't even registered to vote." Neither one was true. But then, that's not really the point of publishing these rumors, is it?

You opened this gate, gatekeepers. Don't blame us for walking through it.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:23 PM

Here's how to respond to the trolls and Axelturfers defaming Joe Wurzelbacher in a comment thread near you

"Joe didn't pay his taxes!"

"Joe isn't licensed to own a wrench!"

"Joe's balding and he shaves his head to hide it!"

Or whatever else they're throwing at him by the time you read this. Looks like David Axelrod's industrious little astroturfing creeps are out in force, having taken a brief sabbatical after their thorough failure to destroy Sarah Palin. Now they're trying to ruin a plumber from Ohio because not only didn't he genuflect in Obama's presence, but he accidentally managed to do something almost nobody else has done, or even bothered to try: He made Obama tell the truth.

Well, here's how to stop these Joe-viators in their tracks. Here's what they can't answer:

"Well spotted, my friend. So let's say, for the sake of argument, that you're right. What have you proven? How does that change Obama's answer to Joe's question? What do you hope to achieve with this?"

The truth, of course, is that Obama outed himself as a socialist in front of the whole world, McCain called him on it, and now Obama's supporters are terrified because they know most Americans don't want a socialist president. So they're lashing out at Joe. It really is a Two Minutes Hate, except Obama hasn't given them a time limit.

But they can't actually say any of that. They have to come up with some kind of excuse that their dim little minds perceive as plausible. So have some fun. Toy with their cognitive dissonance.

Enjoy.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:01 PM

I don't normally do "fisking," but in this case I'll make an exception

larryrohter.jpgThe New York Times lives up to its glorious reputation today with a hard-hitting investigative piece by Larry Rohter (pictured) on Joe "Enemy of the State" Wurzelbacher:

One week ago, Joe Wurzelbacher was just another working man living in a modest house outside Toledo, Ohio, and thinking about how to buy the plumbing business where he works. But when he stopped Senator Barack Obama during a visit to his block last weekend to complain about taxes, he set himself on a path to becoming America’s newest media celebrity — and as such suddenly found himself facing celebrity-level scrutiny.

Yep, that's why he's being covered in the NYT: Because he complained about taxes. I'm pretty sure he's the first person in American history to do so, but keep in mind that fact-checking isn't really my cup of tea.

Joe's question is what's newsworthy. Their interest in the story has very little to do with Obama's answer.

As it turns out, Joe the Plumber, as he became nationally known when Senator John McCain made him a theme at Wednesday’s final presidential debate, may work in the plumbing business, but he is not a licensed plumber.

Did you get that, America? And he dares to call himself a plumber! Of course, it's unclear at this point whether he actually needs a license to do the sort of work he does in Ohio. Or what it has to do with, well, anything. But still. Hey, isn't this how they caught the Unabomber?

By the way, let's set the record straight: He didn't become known as Joe the Plumber because McCain brought him up in the debate. He became known as Joe the Plumber because Obama couldn't remember his last name after McCain had just said it. (Yeah, McCain mispronounced it, but at least he made the attempt. It's kind of an unusual name.)

His full name is Samuel J. Wurzelbacher. And he owes back taxes, too, public records show. The premise of his complaint to Mr. Obama about taxes may also be flawed, according to tax analysts. Contrary to what Mr. Wurzelbacher asserted and Mr. McCain echoed, neither his personal taxes nor those of the business where he works are likely to rise if Mr. Obama’s tax plan were to go into effect, they said.

"Tax analysts." Do they have names? Credentials? Ahhh, who cares!

Also note that at this point in the story, the NYT has done a more thorough job investigating Joe Wurzelbacher than they've done with William Ayers.

None of that is likely to matter to those who see Mr. Wurzelbacher as a symbol of the entrepreneurial spirit they hope to foster with tax cuts, but even Mr. Wurzelbacher said he was shocked by all the attention.

"None of that," meaning the opinions of these anonymous tax analysts who say Joe has nothing to worry about. Anonymous tax analysts have feelings too, you dirty right-wingers.

And Joe may or may not be a symbol of entrepreneurial spirit. Sure, he says he wants to start his own business in the field he's spent years making a career in, but what does that really prove? The NYT wouldn't want to express an opinion on it one way or another.

Just five days ago, Mr. Wurzelbacher, 34, lived in anonymity in Holland, Ohio, a single father who, as he said on national television, worked all day and came home to fix dinner and help his son, 13, with his homework.

But he became the hero of conservatives and Republicans when he stopped Mr. Obama, who was campaigning on his street, and asked whether he believed in the American dream. Mr. Wurzelbacher said he was concerned about having to pay higher taxes as an owner of a small business.

He stopped Obama in the street? Holy racism, he tried to mug Obama!

No, actually, Obama approached him. The One was gracing The Many with his presence by going around door to door in Joe's neighborhood. Because Obama is A Man Of The People (Who Do Not Displease Him With Their Effrontery). Joe was in his yard playing football with his kid, and Obama saw a photo op. Whoops. So get it straight: Joe was visited by the Messiah, not the other way around.

"I'm getting ready to buy a company that makes $250,000 to $280,000 a year," he told Mr. Obama. "Your new tax plan is going to tax me more, isn't it?"

That encounter wound up on YouTube and led to appearances on the Fox News Channel, interviews with conservative bloggers and a New York Post editorial, all of whom seized on a small part of Mr. Obama’s long reply. "I think that when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody," Mr. Obama had said.

See, they didn't quote the whole thing! They just focused on the "spread the wealth" part, and the "I want to take your money and give it to people who are less successful than you because otherwise it's not fair" part. As if it's somehow relevant that Obama revealed to the whole world that he's a socialist. Who cares that he looked one of his inferiors in the eye and told the peasant he doesn't deserve the money he earns?

No, those Faux Noise creeps took Obama out of context. Namely: He's a boring socialist.

There's more -- almost 1,000 words in all, because it's just that big of a story -- but you get the idea. Cut to the big finish:

In his interview with Ms. Couric, Mr. Wurzelbacher, who voted Republican in Ohio's March primary

Say, how did Couric vote in the New York primary?

said that his encounter with Mr. Obama had been prompted by his desire "to ask one of these guys a question, and really corner them and get them to answer a question for once instead of tap dancing around it. And unfortunately I asked the question, but I still got a tap dance."

He added, "He was almost as good as Sammy Davis Jr."

Get the picture, America? That's right: Joe the Plumber just called Obama a Jew.

Best NYT story since Jayson Blair left to pursue other opportunities. Clear some shelf space for your Pulitzer, Larry.

P.S. It might be presumptuous, but I hereby propose we change "fisking" to "Rohter-rooting."

P.P.S. The whole "He's not a licensed plumber!" non sequitur is really fantastic. So, if you happen to be standing in front of Obama when he publicly reveals his socialism, what does the media do? Demands to see your papers. That's just delicious, is what that is.

P.P.P.S. Thanks to Mr. Steyn for the mention.

Joe Wurzelbacher, American Hero!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 05:06 AM

Are you tired of "conservative" pundits laying down for (if not actively cheerleading for) a socialist because he's pretty and he talks nice and he's never ever shot a moose? Sick of their whining when we don't praise them for their brave iconoclasm?

Then read this.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:07 AM

October 16, 2008

But I don't mind, because soon they’ll all be out of that three-letter word: j-o-b-s*

From the Washington Post's endorsement of... do I even need to tell you?

The choice is made easy in part by Mr. McCain’s disappointing campaign, above all his irresponsible selection of a running mate who is not ready to be president.

Did they endorse Kerry? You bet your Botox they did. So... an inexperienced running mate was no problem in '04, but it'll lose you their endorsement in '08?

That is quite some brainteaser.

*Here.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:24 PM

Hey, what happens if you ask Obama an honest question and he accidentally gives you an honest answer?

First Obama makes fun of you and calls you a liar:

(thx, ace)

And then his supporters try to get you fired:

Wurzelbacher registered as an apprentice with the Ohio State Apprenticeship Council in November 2003, according to Dennis Evans, spokesman with the Department of Job and Family Services. Records show his training, which was sponsored by A & W Newell Co. of Toledo, should have been wrapped last year.

“We don’t have a record of completion,” Evans said. “All we know is that he registered in the program and has gone through to the point where we should have record of completion, but we don’t.”

And that’s not the only record that’s missing from Wurzelbacher’s file. He doesn’t have a plumbing license required by the city of Toledo to practice, according to a staffer with the Toledo Division of Building Inspection. Wurzelbacher, who now works for Newell Plumbing & Heating Co., said the owner, Al Newell, has a plumbing license and that “because he works for someone else, he doesn’t need a license.”

But even that’s not true, according to the Toledo Division of Building Inspection. Wurzelbacher can’t legally do plumbing work without a license, regardless of his boss’s certification.

A staff person with the Toledo Division of Building Inspection told On Call this afternoon that her division will contact Wurzelbacher to notify him that he can’t work without a license.

“We’re trying to track him down,” she said.

(thx, jimmie)

Is it just me, or have we seen more vetting of an Ohio plumber in the last 2 days than we've seen of Obama's mentor William Ayers all year? (Not to mention Obama himself!) Both Bill and Joe are embarrassing to Obama because they've given us glimpses of his true nature, and yet only one of them is being put through the wringer. Only one of them has to fear for his job. Weird, huh?

Let that be a lesson to you, America. Got something to say about Obama? Want to ask him a question he's not really ready for? You'd better keep your mouth shut, you racists. Unless you like being "vetted" by an angry mob. And Obama will in turn question your integrity in front of the whole world, while denying any responsibility for the consequences.

Keep it to yourself. Or else.

It was bad enough when they went after Sarah Palin's family. Now they're going after an ordinary citizen who isn't even running for office, just because he had the nerve to look Obama in the eye and say, "I'd like an explanation." Without kissing his feet even once.

These people are insane. We have to stand up to their seething hatred, their complete lack of scruples, their need to win at all costs. And we have to vote against the guy who they're so desperate to elect that they'll try to ruin a hard-working, tax-paying American just for asking truth of power.

P.S. If you have any doubt that John McCain is a fundamentally decent man, however you may disagree with him, then consider this. When he taped Letterman tonight -- and thank God that baby finally got his bottle! -- McCain actually apologized to Joe for what's happening to him, even though it's not McCain's fault. He said sorry on behalf of Obama and Obama's supporters, in the media and on the Internet and in the local government of Toledo, who are trying to destroy Joe because their savior screwed up in front of him.

John McCain truly does reach across the aisle, even to those who deserve it least.

McCain/Palin '08.

P.P.S. And no, I'm not smiling right now. When you go after a man's livelihood for asking Obama a question, I lose my sense of humor about your miserable desperation.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:07 PM

I'm sick of polls, as you might have guessed

I'm done letting them affect my opinion of the campaign one way or another. But as a public service -- if you're ready to throw yourself out a window because of how McCain's been polling, or if you're a super-genius who screams at me, "How can you ignore the polls, you dummy?" -- look at this. It doesn't make me any more happy than the bad poll results make me sad, but I know a lot of you have different religious beliefs and I respect that. If you live or die by the polls, you can come down off the ledge for one more day. Or, if you're on the other side, feel free to go out there.

And if you're still depressed about McCain or, on the other side, seething with rage at my "intellectual dishonesty," look at this.

Me? I'm fine. Optimistic, even. No matter what the polls say. I do feel bad for Joe, having to go through this "vetting proccess" because he asked a politician a question and got an uncharacteristically honest answer. But if Obama's such a shoo-in, why do they have to go after a plumber? Why do they sound so... concerned?

Nothing lifts your spirits quite like the stench of your opponent's fear. And right now I'm smiling.

P.S. Let me put it this way: If the polls are making you so discouraged that you're planning on staying home on election day, you shouldn't let them. You should do what you think is right, even if a bunch of Axelturfers tell you it's futile. But if good poll numbers make you feel better, keep you from giving up, that's awesome. That's the main thing. One way or the other, don't give up.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:52 PM

Ha ha, the old guy looks silly!

smirk_and_quirk.jpg

I definitely don't want that one lowering my taxes!

Thanks to Sean Collins for finding the precedent. And that's not quite a smirk on the other guy's face... Am I allowed to say "face"?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:14 PM

On the other hand:

"You're dumb!"

If your guy won the debate... why so furious?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:00 PM

Maybe he's been watching the news all these months and thought it was futile because they all say Obama's going to win Leftosphere talking point strangled in its crib

(Update: Joe is indeed registered to vote. The diligent truth-seekers who are digging up dirt on a plumber from Ohio didn't find him on the voter rolls because there was a typo in his last name. But don't take it so hard, guys: you can still safely discount his opinion because of his party affiliation.)

Is Joe Wurzelbacher -- or as Obama calls him because he can't remember the guy's last name, Joe the Plumber -- registered to vote? Maybe not. But he's still allowed to ask questions of our leaders, and the people who want to be our leaders. And he sure will have to pay higher taxes if Obama gets what he wants.

Is it now okay to dig through voter records and see if Letterman is registered? Matt Damon? Four-fifths of The View? The cast of Gossip Girl? Hell, all but like 12 people in Hollywood who can't shut up about how great Obama is? Yeah, I'm sure somebody will get right on that.

Sneak peek at an Obama administration: If you're a working guy who dares to ask The One a direct, honest question about an issue that directly affects your life, and his answer causes problems for him because it accidentally reveals the beliefs he's trying to hide from America -- in this case, outright socialism -- look out. His oppo researchers and the media (pardon the redundancy) will do whatever they can to hurt you. To shut you up.

You will be assimilated.

P.S. The more I think about it... Yeah, if this is the new standard, then I want to know the registration status of anybody who criticizes or so much as questions McCain and Palin. That should be the first followup question: "Are you registered to vote?" And if not: "Then why should anybody care about your opinion?"

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:06 AM

October 15, 2008

Okay, so can you stop saying McCain doesn't want to win?

Thanks in advance.

P.S. If Obama had dropped trou and sprayed arugula juice all over the stage, his poll numbers would've gone up. What are you going to believe, a poll, or your own eyes and ears and mind?

I just ran a poll of one: Me. And I just asked a pundit to analyze it: Me. I saw what I saw, and McCain won on the issues. He won on character. He won on not letting the Obama campaign's cynical accusations of racism go unremarked. Most of all, he won on being present in the room, unlike the remote-controlled, talking-point-powered smirkbot.

McCain won this debate. Will it help him? Not if the people who are desperate to see him fail, AKA the Deathbed Media, have anything to say about it. You already knew what they were going to say even before the debate. (Hell, they should have leaked their talking points.) It doesn't change what I saw tonight. McCain was focused, he was specific, he called Obama on his crap. He was engaged.

He got inside Obama's head, you could tell. And unlike when Palin did the same thing six weeks ago today, we got to watch Obama's reaction on live TV. By the end of the debate, only one of them was smiling.

And it wasn't The One.

P.P.S. Almost forgot! In the liveblog I promised to keep a count of Obama's annoying facial tics, which were more or less pronounced depending on how big the truth he was hearing from McCain. It's not a complete count, since I was typing away and approving clever comments and such, but I tallied: 8 smirks, 2 smirks with chuckle chasers, 2 sarcastic smiles, 1 smirk with headshake, 1 not-quite-a-smirk (by a nerve ending or two), 1 Clintonesque frown, and a plumber in a pear tree. McCain got a bit smirky himself toward the end, but Obama clearly won on that front. It's kind of appropriate that the debate stage looked like a set from Star Trek, because Obama was Capt. Smirk.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:32 PM

"It is strange that API has chosen to support the racists against my husband"

The speaker is Michelle Obama. API is African Press International. The "racists" are... well, you. If you dare to stand in the way of Obama's ascendancy.

She also thinks you're "evil."

That's right: If you ask Obama a question he doesn't want to answer, you are an evil racist.

How does that make you feel? Are you irritated by how baseless and desperate it is? Do you feel helpless against such a cynical attempt to stifle your dissent, knowing that any denial will just be construed as further proof?

Or is the word "racist" starting to lose some of its power? If everything is racist, what's so special about it in this case? Doesn't it become, at a certain point, funny? Isn't Michelle Obama kind of funny?

Update: Hoax? In a sane world, I'd think all the other false accusations of racism over the last couple of weeks were hoaxes. They weren't, but maybe this one really is.

Update: And please note that I haven't deleted or substantively altered this post because something I said might make me look bad (or, depending on your point of view, worse). I won't try to change history. Just trying to set an example for the Obama campaign.

Update: Whoops!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:32 AM

And yet the story isn't about ACORN

African-American Enthusiasm Could Tip Scales Toward Obama

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:11 AM

It's appropriate that Obama got tripped up by a plumber*

If you're trying to win a guy's vote, why would you tell him he doesn't deserve the money he's earned?

Why should our friend Joe, who works hard and takes risks (in an entrepreneurial sense) and accepts responsibility for his own life, have to subsidize people who don't? Shouldn't he be able to decide whether or not he wants to give to charity? Shouldn't he be able to decide which ones to give it to? Who does Obama think he is to tell Joe how to run his life?

Can we please stop pretending that the second-greatest community organizer in history isn't a socialist?

*'Cause he's the dirtiest presidential candidate since Nixon.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:10 AM

October 14, 2008

This point about ACORN's voter registration fraud needs to be repeated as far and as wide as possible

Allahpundit:

It's not really voter impersonation that’s the big worry, it's the logistical nightmare of poll workers having to sift so many bogus registration forms that bona fide registrations can't be processed in a timely manner.

It's a sign of the times that we actually have to explain why voter registration fraud is bad, but that's why. They're trying to disrupt the entire process. They're trying to undermine our faith in the electoral system. Why aren't they in jail yet?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:29 PM

You'll never guess who's defending William Ayers

Academia! Somebody named Jack Stripling at Inside Higher Ed wrote a whole long thing about college professors supporting him, but you really only need to read the first paragraph. That's as far as I bothered with it, anyway:

William Ayers has been trashed by conservative pundits and labeled "an unrepentant domestic terrorist" by Sarah Palin, the Republican vice presidential nominee, but the University of Illinois at Chicago professor has garnered the support of a growing number of peers who admire his scholarship and see the attacks on him as an affront to academic freedom.

This is a pretty complex issue, but I'll try to break it down:

  1. The reason we call William Ayers a terrorist is because he co-founded a group that employed terror tactics in service of spreading their political views. In other words, they blew stuff up (including several of their own members, fortunately), robbed banks, killed cops, and tried to kill soldiers, all while telling themselves they were doing it to stop the Vietnam War.
  2. The reason we call him a domestic terrorist is because he did these things to his own countrymen, within his own country.
  3. The reason we call him an unrepentant domestic terrorist is because he has not repented.

Of course, this "trashing" makes sense only if you believe that words mean things. So it's no surprise that the really really smart fellers ain't havin' it.

Oh, and there's now a supportbillayers.org. (Which I'm sure is a completely spontaneous reaction and has absolutely nothing to do with David Axelturf.) Check out the list of professors and teachers who've put their names on the online petition supporting the unsupportable. If you see your alma mater represented there, it might be something to remember the next time they hit you up for a donation.

(thx, doubleplusundead)

P.S. If Ayers is such a great guy, such a productive member of society, such a wronged innocent... why isn't he defending himself? He did that dopey cartoon last month, but has he made any sort of public statement since then? I'm sure I would have seen it. He's never been shy about reminiscing over the good old days. Until now. Talk to us, Bill!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:00 PM

Mark Levin is talking about Saul Alinsky on tonight's show

Alinsky is the father of "community organizing," AKA socialist rabble-rousing, and the author of the far-left handbook Rules for Radicals. Obama has been a disciple of Alinsky for his entire adult life, and the tactics we're seeing right now can be traced directly back to Alinsky. Listen to Levin live (6-8 EST) or download the archive of tonight's show here.

And now, feel free to point out that Obama was just a kid when Alinksy died...

P.S. Levin devoted his entire first hour to the Alinsky/Obama connection. If you want to understand what's going on right now, why so many people are trying to convince you that everything's hopeless and the only one who can fix it is Obama, I highly recommend listening to his 10/14 show.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:13 PM

Next up: Grand Theft ACORN

obama-on-xbox-360.jpg

That billboard does not exist. This is a screenshot from the Xbox game Burnout Paradise. And yes, it's an official campaign ad. Good to see The One is putting his ad dollars (thanks, Doodad Pro and Good Will!) where they count: products purchased by people who are too young and/or too baked to vote.

In response, the McCain campaign is currently negotiating with the makers of Lincoln Logs.

No details yet on the emissions standards Obama plans to impose on virtual automobiles.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:07 PM

Nobody at that Palin rally yelled that they wanted to kill Obama

Update: Now it turns out that nobody at that rally yelled that they wanted to kill anybody. It simply did not happen.

Patterico explains. They were yelling it about the person Palin had just mentioned: William Ayers. Which still isn't nice, no matter how many people the Weather Underground terrorized and killed, no matter how much ugly anti-American rhetoric they spewed. But it doesn't require an investigation by the Secret Service. That is, assuming Ayers doesn't still have his hand up the small of Obama's back.

But wait, that means the great Dana Milbank...

milbankorange.jpg

...was unclear. Certainly he'll have to set the record straight in the pages of the Washington Post, now that all these people have taken what he's written and used it to concoct huge lies about the political party he can't stand. After all, his reputation is on the line, isn't it?

Ha ha, just kidding. The WaPo probably gave him a raise.

P.S. And even if that guy had called for the death of a politician he doesn't like, would he really be setting a precedent?

killbushshirt2.jpg

kill_bush.jpg

kill_bush_sights.jpg

busheffigy.jpg

death_of_a_president__dvd__large_.jpg

Wouldn't make it right, of course, but it would force all the astroturfers in all the blog comments to explain why the "kill Bush" crap is protected political speech.

"But Palin was whipping up the crowd into a murderous frenzy!" No she wasn't. She dared to talk about Obama's years-long, if not decades-long, alliance with a terrorist. (And Ayers is a terrorist. He doesn't think what he did was wrong, and he won't rule out doing it again. He's no more a "former terrorist," or even a "former radical," than David Berkowitz is a "former murderer." Actually, that's not fair to the Son of Sam, who is actually paying for his crimes.) A handful of people, out of a crowd of thousands, went over the line with it. That's all that happened, and it only seems to be a problem for the media when the crowd is Republican.

All these lying, unethical pundits and reporters are trying to make you believe that not only did Palin hear that guy, but she assumed he was talking about Obama and she approved. Why would they say that if they had any regard for the truth?

Update: Media, leftosphere, Obama himself: "Sorry about that." Just kidding, they'd never actually say that.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:43 AM

October 13, 2008

Andy Kaufman speaks from the grave to address Obama's plans for "income redistribution"

First, watch this:

Now watch this. Andy gets to it at the 3:20 mark:

Dear Obama: No thenk you veddy much.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:23 PM

But McCain and Palin should have to answer for every idiot on our side, right?

Obama's official site: Yes We (µn+. Think it might be some kind of coded language?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:52 AM

I get the feelin'...

...Mark Levin's show tonight is gonna be a keeper.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:30 AM

October 12, 2008

Yes We Can (Pour Gasoline into a Glass Bottle, Light It on Fire, and Throw It at Your House)

kevinrobinson.jpgThe audacity of heat:

PORTLAND, Ore. - Authorities have arrested two men after a Molotov cocktail was thrown at a 4-foot by 8-foot campaign sign for Republican presidential candidate John McCain in a southeast Portland yard.

Karen Scrutton said she was asleep inside her home at 7956 S.E. 17th Ave. in the Sellwood neighborhood when she saw her sign go up in flames after 1 a.m....

Not long after, investigators picked up Leslie Brockette Leudtke and Kevin Carl Robinson, both 23. After interviewing them, the pair was charged with four counts each of manufacturing and possession of a destructive device. In addition, Leudtke was charged with a single count of reckless burning.

They didn't yell "Kill him!", or at least what a completely impartial observer would translate as "Kill him!", so it's okay.

I'm not excusing what these two men did. But can you really blame them, in light of the climate of fear John McCain has engendered with his racist code language like "that one" and "Senator Obama"? When you disenfranchise people by standing in the way of their religious beliefs, you can hardly complain when they firebomb your supporters. These young men just hope a little harmless terrorism will change a few minds about McCain.

Chin up, Leudtke and Robinson. Sure, you're in trouble now, but these pigs can't hold you down. There's an academic career and a sympathetic community of like-minded organizers waiting for you on the south side of Chicago.

(thx, JWF)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:55 AM

Is raising questions about Obama's birth certificate a smear campaign?

Here's why it's not. The circumstantial evidence for weirdness around this birth certificate is so great that legitimate questions arise -- questions anyone with common sense would ask. The answers to those questions can easily be provided. The Obama-Biden campaign can resolve this now with proof that Obama is a natural-born U.S. citizen, as is mandated for presidential candidates anyway.

The job of a press is to ask questions which have a basis in fact. See for yourself the full chronology here. See whether you are certain there are no legitimate questions worth asking. I am asking the Obama campaign to resolve a factual question which they must already have covered in the vetting process. After all, Obama is running for president, and he is constitutionally ineligible to do so if he wasn't born on U.S. territory. Therefore it is legitimate to ask questions about it. That's all.

(I'd say "Up yours, Andy," but it wouldn't exactly be an insult.)

P.S. But seriously, folks. Yes, I'm skeptical too. Not because I'd put it past Obama and his many, many helpers to try to cover it up. But because if it were true, McCain would be running against Hillary. How in the world would she sit on such a bombshell, let alone miss it altogether?

But hey, if they can raise questions about the circumstances of Trig’s birth, what's wrong with raising questions about Obama's? After all, Trig's not even running for president.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:17 AM

October 11, 2008

I can't help but notice...

...Obama isn't saying this to McCain's face.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:19 PM

Zo of Machosauce Productions should be a star

I'm probably pressing my luck by embedding so many Youtube videos on one page, but this is just too good:

"Ha-ha."

If this guy were speaking out for the left, and doing it with such energy and talent and humor and common sense and just plain awesomeness, he'd be a national phenomenon. He'd make the Obama Girl look like just another dumb bimbo with fake boobs. (Say, wait a sec...) He'd be front-paged on every liberal blog in the world. Olbermann would be drooling all down his suit. Charlie Gibson and Katie Couric would be cooing, "Why are you so amazing?" Soros would give him his own movie and recording studio with an unlimited budget.

And Jon Stewart? You don't even want to know the fluids that would be coming out of him.

But since those jerks don't have time for funny, talented people who disagree with them, we owe it to Zo, and to ourselves, to spread the word about him.

And if you do disagree with him, could you try explaining why, instead of resorting to personal attacks? Can you get through a paragraph without pulling the race card, dear heart? Keep in mind that he's not alone, and he's obviously not worried about you calling him names because he doesn't confirm your prejudices.

Keep up the good work, Zo!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:14 PM

Good questions

From the comments at Hot Air:

If Palin fired Monegan just to get Wooten fired, why is Wooten still a state trooper?

Wouldn’t Palin have replaced Monegan with somebody who would fire Wooten immediately?

Why isn’t the McCain campaign making the above point?

dKap on October 11, 2008 at 1:54 PM

And here's another one: Why is it no big deal for a presidential candidate to form an alliance with a cop-killer, but if the governor of a state is not terribly fond of one of her subordinates who tased his own stepson and threatened to kill her dad, it's supposed to be Watergate times 17 million?

Logic is racist.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:29 PM

Paging Dr. Freud...

It's interesting how people keep doing this, isn't it?

(thx, tracy)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:56 AM

October 10, 2008

Once again: Sarah Palin is not a secessionist

Even after Ethan Winner of Winner & Associates got busted for posting a false, defamatory Youtube video accusing Sarah Palin of wanting Alaska to secede from the Union, some people are still trying to make the case. Apparently they're so scared about Obama's longtime alliance with William Ayers that they'll try anything.

I've already explained why this is a load of crap, both here and on Youtube, but it looks like I need to do it again. If this is old news to you, find something else to read.

Okay, here's her "secessionist speech", which is actually an address to a political convention that was pumping dollars into the Fairbanks economy:

And here's the transcript. I've highlighted the key phrases, just so there's no confusion among those who honestly want to know what she said:

I'm Governor Sarah Palin, and I am delighted to welcome you to the 2008 Alaskan Independence Party Convention in the Golden Heart City, Fairbanks.

Your party plays an important role in our state's politics. I've always said that competition is so good, and that applies to political parties as well. I share your party's vision of upholding the Constitution of our great state. My administration remains focused on reining in government growth so individual liberty and opportunity can expand. I know you agree with that. We have a great promise to be a self-sufficient state, made up of the hardest-working, most grateful Americans in our nation.

So as your convention gets under way, I hope that you all are inspired by remembering that all those years ago, it was in this same city that Alaska's Constitution was born. And it was founded on hope, and trust, and liberty, and opportunity. I carry that message of opportunity forward in my administration as we continue to move our state ahead and create positive change.

So I say: Good luck on a successful and inspiring convention, keep up the good work, and God bless you.

Here's what she's saying: "I don't agree with you, but it's a free country: America. Where you live. Let's just try to remember what we have in common, okay?" She's meeting free speech with free speech, and reminding people she disagrees with that they have a common bond, instead of trying to shout them down.

In other words: She's being an American. Americans don't put out "Action Wires" to intimidate their opponents. Americans don't try to manipulate the criminal justice system to silence their critics. Americans don't scream "Racism!" when somebody dares to dissent.

Not the Americans I'm voting for, anyway.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:01 PM

You don't like hearing the word "unrepentant"? Too bad.

Do you think the New York Times regrets bringing this up yet?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:06 AM

October 09, 2008

William Ayers FAQ

If you're wondering why Obama can't seem to tell the same story twice about his relationship with Ayers, this will help.

And remember: Facts are racist.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:52 PM

ATTN: All those who would dare to criticize our dear leader


Joe.jpg

Ann.jpg

Harry.jpg

Karen.jpg

Bawney.jpg

Previously:

McCain Refers to Obama as "My Opponent"
I used to think Southerners who flew the Confederate Flag were jerks
This post is racist

P.S. Hannity is a thief.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:33 PM

"Say it to my face," said the astroturfer

Hope. Change. Yes We Can.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:21 PM

October 08, 2008

I am of course a racist for agreeing with this gentleman

"Those of you who plan to vote for Obama, you're waiting for somebody to make you happy, when you have the power to do it yourself right now."

TOM!!!

(thx, AP)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:18 PM

You can preorder William Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn's new book now, unless you're some kind of racist

It's called Race Course Against White Supremacy, and if Amazon's product description is any indication, it sounds peachy:

White supremacy and its troubling endurance in American life is debated in these personal essays by two veteran political activists. Arguing that white supremacy has been the dominant political system in the United States since its earliest days—and that it is still very much with us—the discussion points to unexamined bigotry in the criminal justice system, election processes, war policy, and education. The book draws upon the authors' own confrontations with authorities during the Vietnam era, reasserts their belief that racism and war are interwoven issues, and offers personal stories about their lives today as parents, teachers, and reformers.

I smell bestseller! No way this one will bomb.

P.S. Don't think Obama is a socialist? Think again. As AP says: "The best part of this, assuming that it trickles up the media food chain and gets put to one of Obama's spokesmen, will be trying to reconcile the inevitable profession of ignorance about the New Party's agenda with David Brooks's assertions about how 'socially perceptive' Obama is. Truly, except for Ayers's terrorist background, Wright's sermons, Pfleger's race-baiting, and the NP, Obama's awareness of what's going on around him is laser sharp."

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:16 PM

October 07, 2008

McCain Refers to Obama as "My Opponent"

By Every Reporter Who Still Has a Job
Every Newspaper in America
Page 1 above the fold

John McCain.jpgMedia Bubble, Oct. 8 -- John McCain's bid for the Oval Office suffered another stunning blow yesterday when the Arizona senator referred to Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States, as "my opponent." The campaign-shattering remark came during a vicious, Hitlerian speech before an audience of drooling right-wing drones in one of those states in the middle, possibly rectangular.

"I believe that we should do things one way," McSame sneered, his shrunken, twisted body and hideous visage producing overwhelming revulsion in all sane people who beheld him. "But my opponent feels we should do things a different way."

In a comment appearing simultaneously on every single blog, newspaper site, and message board on earth, a number of private individuals completely unattached to the Obama campaign replied: "On behalf of concerned Christian conservatives everywhere, this is the sort of eliminationist rhetoric we've come to expect from the evil, cancer-riddled liar John McPain. We get it, old man: Obama opposes you, therefore he must be destroyed. This sort of disgraceful hate-mongering might be a big hit at your next cross-burning, assuming you live that long, but America knows better. The NVA should have finished the job, you miserable piece of garbage."

McLame lashed out at this levelheaded appeal to reason, firing back that his detractors "have every right to their opinion" and "raise some concerns that, while I might take issue with how they're expressed, are worth considering." It is widely believed that McShame will have conceded the election by the time this story goes to press, hopefully followed by his gruesome death in a fire. Did I do good, Mr. Axelrod?

Oct. 10 update: Please note that I wrote this before all these stories about how "McCain and Palin are racist, fascist facistracists because some redneck who's never even heard of The New Yorker yelled something at one of their speeches." Can I call 'em or what?

Previously in the Media Bubble:

Palin Dodges Tough Questions About Existence of "Alaska"
Misspelling Found in Palin's Personal Journal

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:44 PM

Here's where my debate liveblog will be, if I decide to do one

Everybody already knows who they're going to declare the winner, but it might be worth watching anyway. And I suppose I should give CoverItLive another chance, after it crapped out on me last Thursday. They sent out an e-mail saying that was their biggest liveblogging night ever, and it wouldn't happen again this time...


P.S. If you boil Obama's schtick down to one phrase, it's: "That's not fair." Which is pretty galling when he's standing across from McCain. Do you think John McCain knows anything about the unfairness of life, you callow child?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:47 PM

In other news, Marlee Matlin thinks Britney knows how to sing

Dukakis on the Election: Obama Knows How to Win

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:25 PM

Polls

Relax.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:05 PM

October 06, 2008

Keep a clean nose, watch the plain clothes

This cartoon is inherently racist. Because William Ayers is white.

Previous power-being-spoken-truth-to-by-William-Ayers here.

P.S. CNN is covering Ayers. As opposed to covering for him. I know, I can hardly believe it either. It's fun to watch Anderson Cooper sputter and stammer at the reporter, though, trying to come up with a plausible reason this isn't so bad.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:32 PM

I used to think Southerners who flew the Confederate Flag were jerks

billyandbarry.jpg

But considering Obama's defense of his long, well-documented association with remorseless terrorist William Ayers -- even friendship, according to Chicago Mayor Richard Daley -- I'm having second thoughts. Obama keeps saying, "I was only 8 or 9 when Ayers did those bombings and said all that 'Kill your parents' stuff!" Well, nobody who's alive today is old enough to have fought for the Confederacy. No American is old enough to have owned slaves. So what's the big deal about flying the ol' Stars and Bars? It doesn't mean you're sympathetic to those ideas. There can be no such thing as a legacy, because then that standard could apply to Obama too.

Makes you wonder about all that "Bush is Hitler" stuff, though. Bush was born a year after Hitler died. So by the Obama Standard, there's no logic to the comparison. Ha ha, I said "logic." How silly.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:01 AM

October 05, 2008

It's like they're trying to turn the whole country into one big college campus

Patterico: Any Argument Against Barack Obama Is By Definition Racist

P.S. More like the National Organization for Wacists!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:22 PM

October 01, 2008

A partial list of Gwen Ifill's questions for the VP debate

gwen_ifill.jpgMayor Palin, Barack Obama is a handsome, charismatic demigod. How many boxes of Kleenex will you need after your crushing loss?

Senator Biden, what is your favorite color? And if you have time for a follow-up question: Why?

Mayor, you talk funny and you own a tanning bed. Why haven't you released Trig's birth certificate?

Senator, have you seen those pictures of Obama in his swim trunks? If not, I have them right here.

Mayor, what are the names, ages, and blood types of all 71 members of the Belgian Senate? And why are you unwilling to admit that your inability to instantly produce any and every fact I demand makes you unfit to stand in the way of history?

Senator, you've spoken at length. Could you please continue?

Mayor, which is your preferred method of stifling dissent, banning books or burning them? Since it's both, please explain how you can deny the accusation that you're a fascist, which I am making now.

Senator, could you please sign my book?

P.S. Do you suppose Saturday Night Live will change it to the Luxembourg Parliament?

P.P.S. History Is Happening Now raises a good point: Jerome Corsi and David Freddoso would make lousy moderators for this debate too. The difference being, of course, that they'd never be asked.

P.P.P.S. I'm told Hannity used this without attribution on his 10/2 radio show. If that's the case, and if you enjoy my work, could you please let him know he should give me credit for it? If he's going to criticize SNL, he should try a little harder than they do.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:41 PM

September 30, 2008

"Five: Top billing."

You know what it's all about? It's all about Iowahawk.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:07 AM

Google Biden aneurysm

Sometimes I send e-mails:

To: Slate's Explainer (ask_the_explainer@yahoo.com)
Re: What happens if a presidential candidate passes away at the last second?

What will happen if Biden has an aneurysm? It would only be his third. And I'm pretty sure it can kill you a lot more quickly than skin cancer. Like, y'know, the same day.

Bonus question: Why haven't we seen Obama's medical records? He's 47 and an ex-smoker, but apparently he hasn't seen a doctor in almost 2 years. Or if he has, he won't tell us what he found out. He works out every day and eats arugula, and somehow that makes him immortal?

As long as this stuff is on the table. What are the health risks of holding my breath until I get a reply?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:55 AM

September 28, 2008

Seriously, I think Lorne Michaels might owe me some money

From last night's debate sketch on SNL, courtesy of NBC.com:

Lehrer: Now let's turn to the topic of nuclear proliferation. Senator Obama, you have frequently been critical of this administration's efforts to stop Iran and North Korea's nuclear weapons programs.

Obama: Uh, I have.

L: What would you do differently?

O: Uh, first of all, Jim, I would use traditional diplomacy. Something this administration has consistently refused to do. Should that fail, then and only then would I try what I call "playing the race card."

L: And how would that work?

O: Take North Korea. I would ask Kim Jong-il to shut down his country's nuclear weapons program. If he declined, I would say to him, "Alright, I get it. I know why you're really refusing to stop the program." And he would say, "No. What are you talking about?" And I would say, "It's because I don't look like all the other presidents you've dealt with." And then he would say, "Wait. That's not fair. That has nothing to do with it." And I would add, "That's cool. I understand. I'm different. I'm not like the other guys on the 5- and 10-dollar bills." It's a long, delicate process. But eventually, he'll have to give in.

obamaSNL.jpg

Compare that with this post, which I wrote on Sept. 19:

A scene from Obama's first term

OObama: The United States demands that you cease all efforts to manufacture nuclear weaponry.*

Ahmadinejad: No way, Yankee dog. Death to America!

[Pause]

O: Huh. Okay, I get it.

A: ...what?

O: No, no, I get it.

A: Get what? All I said was "Death to America."

O: Don't worry about it, man. That's just the way it is, I get it.

A: The way what is? Seriously, I don't understand.

O: Right.

A: Is it because I hate America? I didn't think you people had a prob--

O: "You people!"

A: No, wait.

O: "You people." That's just great.

A: No, all I mean is, is, you know... When your wife said that thing about... Just hold on a second, this is going way too fast.

O: Hey, if you guys want to keep trying to build nukes, I think we all understand what you're really saying.

A: I'm really saying I want all unbelievers to burn! Why are you trying to read something bad into it?

O: It's okay, you can say it. I don't look like the presidents on the dollar bills.

A: What are you talking about? Have I gone insane or something?

[AND SCENE]

*I know, I know, he'd never actually say this. Just go with it for the sake of the joke.

Coincidence? Seems pretty darn close to me. They did switch dictators, but that's about it. And my traffic has been way up over the last month. I'm even getting links from places like the Washington Post and the New York Times. (Also known as "news-papers.") So it's not entirely outside the realm of possibility that maybe, possibly, somebody at 30 Rockefeller Center might've kinda sorta taken a shortcut. And why not? It's not like stealing or anything. It's only the Internet.

I will accept a personal check, Lorne.

P.S. Fun discussion.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:01 PM

September 27, 2008

Mad About You and Your Socialism

I wasn't going to say anything about the debate, because, you know. WTF. It was a debate. But a guy who's been eaten by an Alien has commented on it.

No, really.

So. There's that.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:42 AM

September 26, 2008

This post is racist

obama-number-2.jpg

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:10 AM

September 24, 2008

Everything I was going to write about the Ethan Winner scandal has been covered by this Youtube clip

Michelle Malkin explains it, clearly and precisely, on Fox News.

Now, it's Michelle Malkin on Fox News, so Olbermann's thick, dented skull is already pulsating. And O'Reilly's going to be covering it tonight, so they might want to put down plastic around the Countdown desk. But it's all true.

(Although I'm not surprised that Bill Hemmer doesn't know how the Internet operates. He barely knows how his hair dryer operates. How does Megyn Kelly put up with him day after day?)

The rest of the press is squeamish about covering the Winner Soldier mess, of course. Why? For the same reason they were squeamish about covering the Rielle Hunter fiasco: Because it might hurt their hero's chances of election.

Which is the same reason they're freaking out over not having unfettered access to Palin even though they wannit-wannit-wannit. How dare she put them on timeout until they can behave themselves? How can they twist her words if she won't give them any? Of course, they didn't complain when Obama held them off the same way. Because in that case, even just a brief moment basking in the radiance of The One was sufficient to nourish those reporters' souls and fill their hearts with enough love for a lifetime. Everything was perfect until that bitch came along!

hillary1984.jpgSpeaking of "bitch is the new black," the press didn't tread so lightly around Obama's astroturfing when it smeared Hillary. Remember that anti-Hillary "1984" ad way back in March '07, which was supposedly created by somebody with no connection to the Obama campaign? Well...

The creator of the faux-Apple ad against Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton has been unmasked as a Democratic operative who worked for a digital consulting firm with ties to Sen. Barack Obama, NBC News confirmed Wednesday night -- leaving Obama on the spot.

Andrea Mitchell said that. On MSNBC. For some reason, way back in the old days (18 months ago) it wasn't racist to hold Obama accountable for his actions. Mitchell even said:

The entire episode hangs a cloud over the Obama camp.

Oh, I get it. A dark cloud, right? Next time leave your white hood at home, Andrea! No, on second thought, please wear it whenever you're on the air.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:17 AM

September 23, 2008

Never mind

obamapuppy.JPG

Obama/Biden '08!!!

P.S. Give it a name. The dog, I mean, not Obama's humiliation. I'm calling this adorable sweetie Biden's Little Follicle Donor.

P.P.S. from the I Wish I'd Said That, and Now Of Course I Will file. The Talk Arena corrects me:

What I see is a cute, fluffy, adorable little creature with a small mind but a devotion and love for its handlers. Handlers who feed and water and pet it on its little head every day.

And a dog.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:23 PM

Quick correction for Marc Ambinder

Over at a once-prestigious magazine called The Atlantic, Ambinder says this about the Ethan Winner story:

Partisans of the Republican ticket have every right to believe that the Obama campaign is malevolent, and to assume the worst of motivations; certainly, liberal partisans reciprocate. But it takes a willfull [sic] suspension of belief [sic] to assume that the Obama campaign is stupid.

Does it take a willful suspension of disbelief to assume that the Obama campaign is arrogant? Because that's what this behavior is. That's why you would put up a blatantly slanderous Youtube video about your opponent via a thinly disguised surrogate. It's not stupid; it's arrogant.

And why wouldn't Obama be arrogant at this point? His proven ties to racial separatists and domestic terrorists are no problem for the media. They're too busy digging into Palin's PTA squabbles and traffic tickets and whatever else to bother looking into Obama's involvement in Freddie & Fannie. McCain's melanomas are supposedly career-ending, but Biden's aneurysms aren't. Not to mention the media's total lack of curiosity about Obama's medical condition, which we know almost nothing about. If Obama's getting away with all that and more, why would he worry about getting caught out doing something like this? He knows he's got fast-fading media outlets like The Atlantic to cover for him. He can just deny it and blame McCain. They'll buy it.

Speaking of the cover of The Atlantic...

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:08 PM

PR Firm Linked to Obama's Campaign Manager Is Behind Palin Smear

jawa.jpg...is a headline you'll never see in the New York Times, even though David Axelrod's associate Ethan Winner has just admitted putting up that false, defamatory "Palin is a secessionist" ad on Youtube.

Do you think you'd see this headline?

PR Firm Linked to McCain's Campaign Manager Is Behind Biden Smear

I'm guessing you would. Although such a smear would be a waste of time and money on McCain's part, because the only thing you need to make Biden look bad is a piece of duct tape that is not placed over his mouth.

Winner_Ethan.jpgAre you wondering why Ethan Winner, of Winner & Associates, deleted the Youtube account he'd had since Aug. '06 within hours after Rusty Shackleford at the Jawa Report pointed out the Winner/Axelrod connection? You'll never guess:

Some people have asked why I have pulled the video from the Internet. The reason is simple. Following the posting of personal information about me by the Jawa Report, my family began to receive threatening and abusive phone calls and emails.

This happened, we're led to believe, between 12:15 a.m. and around 4:30 a.m. EST on Monday morning. That's a little over four hours between Shackleford's post and the deletion of the eswinner Youtube account. In the dead of night. He's a regular Jack Bauer, this kid.

Presumably it was the abusive phone calls, and not the abusive e-mails, that woke them up in the middle of the night. Even though Shackleford didn't give out any phone numbers... Come to think of it, which part of that post was "personal information"? Specifics, please.

But hey, if the Winner family really is being harassed by right-wing nutjobs, it's our duty to fix this mess. As commenter Apogee at Patterico.com points out:

It should be quite easy for the Jawa Report to see who logged onto their page between the first upload of the post and the time the video was removed.

Cross indexing the IP addresses of those hits at Jawa with the origination area codes of the offending calls on Winners' incoming phone logs, we should be able to find these dastardly phone terrorists and pay them a visit. After all, it's a very short period of time.

Winner would be happy to cooperate.

Right?

Right.

P.S. "I'll have to get back to you as soon as I can."

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:15 AM

September 22, 2008

Here's a survey I'd like to see

Instead of polling Democrats for their responses to adjectives about blacks, how about polling Democrats for their responses to adjectives about pinkos? That might sway things a bit more in Obama's favor.

Here's an interesting factoid from the preceding AP story:

"Not all whites are prejudiced."

They know this because some of their best friends are white.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:58 AM

The Winner of Our Discontent

I don't have anything else beyond the headline, but I just wanted to post it before somebody else did. Check Memeorandum for more reactions.

winner.jpg

Update: Patterico calls the ongoing coverup attempts "consciousness of guilt." Sounds like it to me. Note to the New York Times: The alleged Winner/Axelrod/Obama connection is no tanning bed, or even a Daily Kos post making an obstetric diagnosis based on a handful of photos, but there are one or two facts there that you could maybe check. Ha ha, just kidding. Wouldn't want you to get kicked off the payroll.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 05:54 AM

September 21, 2008

This page should be fun to watch for the next few days/weeks

Tee hee!

P.S. Within four five hours after the Rusty Shackleford post about the Winner family (how perfect!) who created that defamatory "Palin is a secessionist" ad, and their possible connection to the Obama campaign, the eswinner account was closed. On a very early Monday morning. Wonder what took so long? Here's what it looked like at 1:45 a.m. EST on Sept. 22, less than two hours after Shackleford's post (and before there were at least four pages of comments):

eswinner.jpg

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:59 PM

So there's supposed to be some kind of big story tonight

Here.

Allegedly.

Hmmm.

P.S. Wow. If that's too much readin' for ya, Ace has a good recap. So does Riehl. Or just watch this. Remember: They're just asking questions.

palinslandered.jpgP.P.S. With apologies to Amused Observer, here's the scoop, in 25 words or less: PR firm linked to Obama's campaign manager apparently responsible for dissemination of knowingly false Palin smears? With the question mark indicating that it's a question.

P.P.P.S. Hey, whaddaya know. If you put up a professionally produced video on Youtube accusing a vice presidential candidate of being a secessionist, but then you take it down within an hour of somebody blogging about it -- at midnight on a Sunday, at that -- it never really happened at all, did it?

P.P.P.P.S. A backup copy of the debunked, slanderous ad can be found here. And it's still on Google Video, at least until they realize it's still on Google Video. I would suggest downloading either or both while you can. Looks like the people responsible for this slander are going to do their best to sweep it under the rug, and they're working 24/7.

And if you're worried that the news won't pick this up: They couldn't ignore Rielle Hunter forever...

Oh! And I came up with the perfect headline for this:

WINNERS FAKE ALL

Posted by Jim Treacher at 06:04 PM

And now, a quick word from a gentleman and a scholar

Hi Jim-

I've been enjoying your blog- - a bloody relief this crazed election season. I especially like your take on those obnoxious "hope" and "change" posters. You've inspired me to share with you the one Hope I'd like to see again!

Best,

Batton Lash

HOPE.jpg

Posted by Jim Treacher at 05:58 PM

Hope I don't get Action-Wired

Obamarx

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:57 AM

Obama tries to lock down the state of Mishegas

Joel Stein brings his usual deep thoughts and impeccable prose style to yet another big story: Obama's effort to get the elderly Jewish vote in Florida by schlepping their grandkids down there next month to guilt them into it.

I can just see it now: "Joseph, how you've grown! It's so good to see you. Why do you never come to see-- What? You want I should vote for the schwartze??"

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:58 AM

September 20, 2008

Minor change

Hope you don't Google Saul Alinsky

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:02 PM

September 19, 2008

Fine: Google Biden aneurysms

Doctors call on McCain to release details of bout with skin cancer

Whereas Obama is in perfect health, right? Which we know because his personal physician, Dr. David L. Scheiner, said so when he released a less-than-300-word synopsis of Obama's medical condition. Which was based on the last time he'd seen Obama, back in January 2007. And which is the entirety of what we know about Obama's medical condition. Hey, what could possibly happen to a 47-year-old ex-smoker in 20 months? Why would any reporter worth his j-school degree bother to ask?

(Ha ha, just kidding. I got a j-school degree from the back of a box of Captain Crunch.)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:50 PM

Yes We (Spray) Can

Obama Fans Tag Muncie, IN Republican HQ

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:53 AM

A scene from Obama's first term

OObama: The United States demands that you cease all efforts to manufacture nuclear weaponry.*

Ahmadinejad: No way, Yankee dog. Death to America!

[Pause]

O: Huh. Okay, I get it.

A: ...what?

O: No, no, I get it.

A: Get what? All I said was "Death to America."

O: Don't worry about it, man. That's just the way it is, I get it.

A: The way what is? Seriously, I don't understand.

O: Right.

A: Is it because I hate America? I didn't think you people had a prob--

O: "You people!"

A: No, wait.

O: "You people." That's just great.

A: No, all I mean is, is, you know... When your wife said that thing about... Just hold on a second, this is going way too fast.

O: Hey, if you guys want to keep trying to build nukes, I think we all understand what you're really saying.

A: I'm really saying I want all unbelievers to burn! Why are you trying to read something bad into it?

O: It's okay, you can say it. I don't look like the presidents on the dollar bills.

A: What are you talking about? Have I gone insane or something?

[AND SCENE]

*I know, I know, he'd never actually say this. Just go with it for the sake of the joke.

Update: You're welcome, SNL!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 07:15 AM

September 18, 2008

An analogy for my fellow bloggers who may lean more to the left

Quick hypothetical with regard to my previous post about the "Obama Action Wire." Let's say the official John McCain website targets you. Something like:

"Blogger X is a lying teller of untruths, and everybody needs to tell this despicable fibber that he or she shouldn't talk about me anymore. Here's a list of things to say in his or her comments. Go, now, hurry."

You suddenly get thousands of hostile comments, all saying the exact same thing. And when they're asked to elaborate on the reasoning behind their opinion, they can't. Because McCain didn't write that part down for them.

Now, in this scenario, wouldn't it be a bit tough to sort through all the thousands of identical crap comments to get to the folks who were actually thinking for themselves? Would you assume that all those commenters, saying the exact same thing but completely unable to defend their assertions, were merely exercising their right to free speech?

Or wouldn't you see it as a form of spamming, and an attempt to intimidate you into leaving McCain alone?

Probably not. Never mind.

P.S. Ace Slublog: "One of the great ironies of this election is that liberals are worshiping a guy who embodies everything they claim to hate about the Bush administration."

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:27 AM

September 17, 2008

Which is more racist?

Pointing out that Obama is articulate?

Or pointing out that he's not?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:02 PM

September 16, 2008

If we don't all wake up...

...someday soon a callow, shallow, vindictive, underhanded, woefully unqualified candidate will be a heartbeat away from the presidency.

Then he'll finish the inaugural oath.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:07 PM

September 15, 2008

All hail our glorious leader! (But for a few pesky formalities)

It was bad enough that on Aug. 27, the Obama campaign put out an "Action Wire" encouraging people to disrupt WGN Radio's nightly talk show, Extension 720 with Milt Rosenberg. The station was inundated with phone calls and e-mails directed there by Obama, all spouting the same designated talking points. Why? For daring to say things about Obama that Obama didn't want said.

But tonight, after two weeks of getting their butts handed to them by Sarah Palin and coming under wider scrutiny for their increasingly desperate tactics, the campaign has sent out another "Action Wire." Against the same show! This time they want to shut up Rosenberg's guest David Freddoso, author of The Case Against Barack Obama. After the show tonight, WGN will be putting up an MP3 here. I want to hear how it went.

Note: The official Obama campaign website is doing this. They're screaming about McCain running the sleaziest campaign ever, while they're actively trying to stifle dissent against Obama. Not refuting it; not ridiculing it; not even engaging with it. Trying to keep it from being said at all. If this is like last time, they won't even send a campaign rep to the show, which is just down the street from their HQ. No, just send in the phone zombies.

And they're getting away with this. I guess because if you have a problem with it, you're a racist?

Can you imagine the front-page stories all over the world if McCain tried this crap? Hell, if Palin even listens to the radio, the next day she has somebody in the New York Times analyzing her car presets for sinister intent.

I've got my Amazon Kindle right here and I just downloaded Freddoso's book. While I still can. If Obama's so scared of it that he's pulling these kinds of thug tactics, I'm voting with my wallet. And now, I'm sitting down to read.

P.S. Guy Benson has more details. In particular, the Obama campaign's "leprechaun" reference is an interesting piece of bait.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:15 PM

Kos reveals more about himself than he probably intended*

To all the concerned people emailing me about "being played", don't waste your time. I'm not about to revert to writing puff pieces about Obama thinking that his magic "new politics" [caca del toro] will carry us to victory. He may or may not believe that crap, but I don't. We're going to win this thing the way campaigns are won -- by playing hardball. Politics is a blood sport. Republicans understand this and never flinch from flinging the [word he doesn't get to use in Newsweek]. We won't win until we learn to fight back in kind. And I'm more than happy to get down in the mud with our friends on the Right so Obama doesn't have to.

We know, honey. So far, so good! ;)

*Assuming he has any sort of self-knowledge at all, which perhaps is being kind.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:06 AM

September 14, 2008

Isn't that just like a Dem?

Brings a melanoma to an aneurysm fight.

Seriously. If this is how they want to play? Let's play.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:37 PM

Another interesting fact about Obama's "Ha ha, McCain is a cripple" ad

In the last 3 days it's been viewed almost over 250,000 times on Youtube, but there are only 5 comments. All positive. And no video responses whatsoever, apparently.

Guess everybody really does love Obama!

P.S. O Ritz writes: "I tried to post a comment on the youtube 'Still' video yesterday morning and it hasn't been posted." Well, that's weird. Maybe it's just a Youtube glitch. Is anybody able to post comments to any other videos there? Maybe it's not the Obama campaign stifling dissent...

P.P.S. ABC's Jake Tapper has posted an accurate account of the ad and why it stinks. Let's hope Charlie doesn't find out.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:10 PM

September 12, 2008

Doddergate

That's what I hereby name this. And it can be added to my list of Obama's less-than-classy actions here.

P.S. As Perfunction points out, the "1982" ad specifies that McCain can't send e-mail. Not doesn't or won't, but can't.

obamastinks.jpg

So this definitely goes in the Obama Is a Jerk file. Either they're too panicky and incompetent to spend 10 minutes with Google before launching their "new" approach with this miserable ad, or they're calling out McCain for having been tortured. Either way, Obama approved that message. Jerk.

If the campaign takes that video down from their official Youtube page, which would be par for the course, you can watch it here and here. Unless those get taken down too. Which would be par for the course.

P.P.S. Some Obama flunky says McCain is...

...removed from the day-to-day challenges people have faced in their lives.

Yeah, challenges like combing your own hair and tying your own shoes. Challenges he has a little trouble with because he was tortured by the Viet Cong North Vietnamese* for 5 years. Which we're not supposed to bring up anymore, apparently. Which must be why you mental giants just did.

I've really had it with these creeps. First they go after a woman's children, and then they mock a guy for not being as spry as he was before he went off to war. (Meanwhile, Obama keeps whining that Palin made fun of his resume.) Yeah, I know I'm an immature dumbass with a sick sense of humor, but I'm not running for the Oval Office. Maybe it's just me, but pointing at an older gentleman with crippling war injuries and going, "Ha ha, you can't send a Myspace blast!" seems less than presidential. What's next, comparing their Guitar Hero scores?

They keep trying to paint McCain as a guy who can't get enough war, and now they're giggling at him because he can't get into a flamewar.

P.P.P.S. Obama just canceled his scheduled appearance tonight on SNL. He's blaming Hurricane Ike, but I suspect it's really because they couldn't think of any good cripple jokes.

P.P.P.P.S. Ho Chi Minh was a community organizer.

*Sorry for the mistake, Obsidian Wings. When you're speaking up against the mockery of a veteran's torture injuries that prevent him from updating his FriendFeed page, you'd damn well better get the torturers' names right or your whole point is invalid. Good thing I didn't get the color of their uniforms wrong.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 09:31 PM

Hitler was a community organizer, FDR was a governor

If they can launch their moronic memes, why shouldn't we? We don't have Axelrod's astroturfing staff to spread it overnight, but I'm sure we can make do.

Keep up the good work, Barry. (You should watch that clip. That's what made me think of this dumb meme. Hey, if they get to compare Palin to Pontius Pilate... Not to mention stupid Madonna's stupid stupidity.)

P.S. I stand corrected:

Subject: Hitler
Date: 9/13/2008 12:11:41 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time
From: nwerle@gmail.com

Community organizing is a process by which people living in close proximity to each other, are brought together to act in their common self-interest. Community

so Hitler was looking out for jews self interst

you f***ing moron

And Pontius Pilate sentenced Jesus to death, just like Sarah Palin? Hey, no analogy is perfect...

P.P.S. Godwin? He's not the boss of me.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 08:53 PM

Did you know McCain is super-old?

ludacris_obama.jpgObama is now going after McCain for being "an out-of-touch, out-of-date computer illiterate." Which is smart. Young people have always been the most reliable voting bloc in American politics, and they will turn out in great numbers to oppose any reminder of their own mortality.

One way of getting in touch with young folks is to speak to them via the medium of popular music. A little known fact I just made up is that John F. Kennedy was the original drummer for the Beatles. That's how he became president, because all those cheering, fainting girls voted for him.

But we're living in the here and now, and the hip hop sounds are what today's kids like! So I've written a rap song for Barack to rap so he can become president because he's not some old white dude:

Well! My! Name is Obama and you're going to hail the Chief
McCain's so old that he's missing several teeth

I jog every day and nutrition is a must
If McLame fell down, his fool ass would turn to dust

I'm smooth and I'm youthful and I look good in a suit
He's a cranky old bastard and a cancer-ridden coot

He tried to send an e-mail but he couldn't find a stamp
He has to wear Depends or his trousers get damp
Way back in the '80s, his nickname was "Gramps"
And his wheelchair's hilarious without an access ramp

My Twitter page tells you which tie I've just selected
So don't vote McCain, he's far too old to be elected

Seriously, please don't vote for him
I want to be president very badly and if I lose, my wife will kill me
Literally
You people can't do this to me over some snowbilly baby-machine out of a Coen Brothers movie

Peace and I am out!

It's a work in progress, obviously, but once it's finished I really think it's going to get the youth vote out to the polls.

P.S. But seriously, folks: These last two days we've got a young presidential candidate ineptly doing the dozens on his older, more experienced opponent, and an elderly network news anchor seething with frustration over his inability to destroy a young, less experienced vice-presidential candidate. Which would seem to be working at cross-purposes. "Young people, old people... why not alienate 'em all?" Except McCain and Palin have that one thing in common: the scarlet (R). So flail away!

P.P.S. And we know Charlie Gibson is Internet-savvy, because he Googled those questions 10 minutes before the interview. He has no problem using a computer because he wasn't tortured for 5 years, unless you count waiting for Peter Jennings to give up his seat.

P.P.P.S. Those gloves Obama just took off? They're pink, they go up above the elbow, and he wears them to the opera. BAM!!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:15 PM

September 11, 2008

The interview

That thing was chopped up like a Cobb salad. They literally cut off the last word of her sentence at least twice. And I need to check eBay to see if they're selling the tack they put on Charlie Gibson's chair. But she didn't fall for his gotchas, and she didn't let him misquote her. All in all, she did pretty well for her first major media interview, particularly with a sour old man radiating hostility and a burning desire for schadenfreude into her face.

So: Now somebody's going to ask Obama those questions, in that tone, right? Or at least Biden?

You can watch Gibson's Nov. '07 take-no-prisoners interview with Obama here. Sample question: "What... flipped?" Exit question: "Why is it so awesome that you're multiracial?" [bats eyes coquettishly]

P.S. I almost forgot. At the beginning of the interview, did you catch that he tried to get her to look directly into the camera and say she was ready to be president? You could see him jabbing his thumb at the camera behind him as he said, "Can you look the country in the eye and say that?" It was like he wanted her to cut a WWE promo or something. I don't know what that was supposed to be about, but she didn't take the bait. She stayed focused on his face as she gave the answer he obviously fears most in the world: Absolutely. Which couldn't have been easy for her, because his face is very yucky.

P.P.S. The Bourne Imbecility.

P.P.P.S. Oh, and Gibson's big gotcha: Did you know it was called the "Bush Doctrine"? I'm familiar with the concept -- or at least what some claim the concept to be -- but I had not heard it called that until tonight. At least Charlie didn't tip his hand by calling it the "Chimperor Doctrine." I've got a sneak peek at Pt. 2 here.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 04:02 PM

A plea for understanding

We have seen, are seeing, and will continue to see all kinds of stupid, outrageous, hateful things being said about the Republican ticket and their families. We should catalog and critique these outbursts, yes. But don't take it personally: Everyone grieves in his own way.

BTW, has anybody in the evil right-wing blogosphere retaliated against the attacks on Palin's children by going after Obama's children, instead of criticizing the man's utterances and behavior? I'm asking because I don't know. I haven't seen anything like that, and I've been following this whole thing fairly closely. To be honest, I know he's got two or three daughters, but I couldn't name them if you paid me. Which is as it should be.

Well, if not, it's probably part of a Rovian plot to avoid the appearance of impropriety. Devious!

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:28 AM

It's really starting to get good, isn't it?

  • Remember that Sherlock Holmes story about the dog that didn't bark? How about the Sharpton who didn't race-bait? Here we've got all these white folks criticizing the behavior of the most famous black person in the world (sorry, Urkel), and yet Rev. Al is not in front of a television camera, yammering. Did he even say anything about the "community organizer" business? His absence is glaring.
  • Not that I'm complaining! (Sounds like Al's busy anyway.)
  • The best analysis of Palin's humor I've seen yet comes from Barbara Kay in the National Post:

    Humour [silly Canada] is permitted entry to dark cavities closed to straight criticism, so Palin used steady-handed wit as her probe. As every comedian and experienced public speaker knows, failed on-stage humour is first cousin to death. Factor in the supreme importance of the occasion, an audience of 39 million voters, the greedy gaze of slavering media hyenas and the enormous additional risk of "dissing" an African-American saint: What we witnessed on that Minnesota stage, my friends, was an awesome demonstration of raw courage.
    No kidding. A few months ago, even Jon Stewart couldn't get laughs with Obama material. You could almost hear the audience thinking: "Is this okay? Will people think I'm a racist?" Now it is okay. It's okay to make fun of a guy who could be president, even though inevitably some idiots will call you a bigot. So thanks for breaking that glass ceiling, Sarah.
  • More and more it's becoming apparent that Palin's speech, although sent out to the world, had a target audience of one. The One! And boy, did she ever set up camp inside his head. No wonder his only response that night was, "Well, er, um... she didn't write it all by herself?" No wonder Olbermann swept aside his entire television career and criticized her for being sarcastic. No wonder we're still talking about her speech a week later. (Quote me something from Obama's acceptance speech, AKA The Best Thing in the History of Talking. Go ahead, it was only two weeks ago. No Googling.)
  • Phil Griffin, president of MSNBC: "This makes me so mad, because it's so untrue. Somebody is spreading rumors. It's wrong. It's getting into the echo chamber." And no, of course he isn't talking about his network's treatment of Sarah Palin. (And guess who the real victims in that story are? So much for "History is written by the victors.")
  • I've run exactly as many successful presidential campaigns as Joe Trippi. Can I have some money?
  • Roger Ebert got his start working with Russ Meyer. Now he has a big problem with an attractive woman who's smarter and more powerful than he is. I'm sure the two things are completely unrelated. Update: Whoops, now that column has disappeared quicker than Ebert's lunch. Well, you can still find the money quote here. And thanks to Saint Kansas for pointing out some sweet, sweet irony.
  • Move over, Sarah Silverman: He's f***ing Obama.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 12:40 AM

September 10, 2008

Barack Obama: Jerk?

Barack_Obama.jpg
My initial reaction to Bacongate was, "Well, it's just another gaffe. Obama couldn't possibly be dumb and mean enough to call Palin a pig." Yeah, she mocked him during her convention speech, but it was all about his record (or lack thereof) and soaring rhetoric. Which isn't nice, perhaps, but that stuff is fair game in a political campaign. Could he really be so thin-skinned and self-serious that he'd start hitting back with personal insults?

At first I thought it was a mistake for the McCain camp to demand an apology. As I told my close personal friend Glenn Reynolds, I thought they should have said something like:

"We're pleasantly surprised by Senator Obama's newfound sense of humor, and look forward to watching it develop over the coming weeks and months."

You know, rise above it, while still reminding everybody that Obama is a stiff, humorless, gaffe-prone scold.

But now I'm having second thoughts. I think he meant exactly what the crowd obviously thought he meant, because it fits a clear pattern of behavior.

Putting aside the astonishing smear campaign against Palin, which is definitely not grassroots, just look at some of Obama's past antics. In no particular order:

  • What was the Obama camp's initial reaction to Palin's announcement?
    "Today, John McCain put the former mayor of a town of 9,000 with zero foreign policy experience a heartbeat away from the presidency. Governor Palin shares John McCain's commitment to overturning Roe v. Wade, the agenda of Big Oil and continuing George Bush's failed economic policies -- that's not the change we need, it's just more of the same."
  • Yeowtch! And her palmprints on the podium were still warm. (Quite a contrast to McCain's ad, less than 24 hours earlier, congratulating Obama on his achievement.) But then, later that same day, Obama walked it back:
    "I think that... campaigns start getting these hair triggers and the statement that Joe and I put out reflects our sentiments," he said, according to the pool report, apparently criticizing his staff for going overboard, as he did occasionally in the primary.
    So he's not the hostile, panicky jackass. It was his staff's fault. Yes We Can... Pass the Buck!

  • Speaking of McCain's congratulatory ad, which as far as I know is unprecedented, how did Obama return the gesture? By finally going on The O'Reilly Factor, after months of begging by O'Reilly, on the night of McCain's speech. Your opponent goes out of his way to show some class on your big day, and you thank him by trying to steal his thunder?
  • After Bill Clinton, ahem, swallowed his pride and endorsed Obama at the DNC, what song did they play afterward? "Addicted to Love." Classy!
  • During a campaign event last April, Obama emphasized a point about Hillary by scratching his cheek. With his middle finger. Innocent, offhand gesture? I thought so at first. Now I'm not so sure.
  • The "dirt off your shoulder" thing. At first I thought it was funny, and I like that Jay-Z song, but in retrospect the gesture seems -- much like Jay-Z -- arrogant and deeply unpleasant. And based on what we've seen from Obama over the past week, it's obviously delusional. Not only can't he brush the dirt off his shoulders, but he's piling even more on them as he digs this deep, deep hole.
  • And to go beyond mere jerkiness: What's up with putting out an "Obama Action Wire" to try to shut down a Chicago radio station for talking about his ties with William Ayers? If Ayers is just a guy in Obama's neighborhood, why launch thousands of phone calls and e-mails at the station, all spouting the same talking points? You can download an MP3 of the show in question here. It's one thing for MoveOn or Kos or Media Matters (at the risk of redundancy) to do that kind of crap, but this came from the official campaign site. Does it bother anybody else that a presidential candidate is openly trying to stifle dissent? Doesn't Obama know that as president, he would be criticized every minute of every day? Does he plan to shout them all down?

But hey, I could be wrong. These could all be coincidences and/or innocent mistakes. Maybe it's everybody else's fault. Maybe he isn't really throwing rocks and hiding his hand.

P.S. And before you start? In the words of the immortal Harvey Keitel: "I didn't make a statement. I asked a question."

P.P.S. A couple of other examples people have pointed out: Obama ignored the fact that Palin is the governor of Alaska and called Wasilla "Wasilly" (which was what triggered her "community organizer" comeback, which in turn apparently triggered his ongoing meltdown), and he called that female reporter "sweetie." Again, those both can be passed off as innocent mistakes until you fit them into this pattern of behavior. I guess for his fans, it doesn't count as rude, immature behavior as long as he has a serious look on his face.

P.P.P.S. Mocking McCain's war injuries and alienating everybody older than Obama would certainly qualify. Either it's on purpose, which goes way, way beyond jerkiness, or they didn't do a simple Google search to learn why McCain has trouble using a computer keyboard, which means they're panicky idiots.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:35 PM

Yes, "putting lipstick on a pig" is a fairly common saying

So is pointing your middle finger downward, saying "Want me to turn it up?", and flipping it skyward. So if Obama accidentally does that one during a campaign speech, let's try to give him the benefit of the doubt, hm?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:15 PM

We need to continue Andrew Sullivan's fine work

It looks like the Daily Dishevelment is taking a break from spreading every single insane rumor about Sarah Palin that Sullivan gets from the Obama campaign his readers. We need to fill the gap, don't you think? No pun unintended.

Here, I'll try:

AndrewSullivan.jpg Oh. My. GOD. There can be no other possible conclusion: Sarah Palin has a secret '80s lovechild with that dude from Journey.

Do we really want a Vice President who won’t even admit she's got a mega-mulleted bastard son walking around out there? Did Steve Perry threaten to expose this coverup? Is that the real reason they replaced him with a tiny Filipino gentleman? It's called a chain of evidence, people.

Let's see the birth certificate, Sarah. Unless that's somehow a problem?

Update: A reader has linked Palin to yet another '80s musician. How many illegitimate children does she have, anyway? Why isn't anybody talking about this? Why is the media in the pocket of the Republican Party?

Please leave your own Sullivanesque BREAKING PALIN NEWS in the comments. Or don't.

(Thanks for the idea, AP.)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 11:05 AM | Comments (7)

Bacongate

Just in case nobody's named it yet.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:20 AM

September 09, 2008

Guess you had to be there

CBS:

Barack Obama took it up a notch – or two - at a town hall meeting tonight where he used comedy to mock and ridicule the McCain-Palin ticket.

"I mean think about it, you guys remember this, it was just like a month ago they were all saying 'experience, experience, experience'," Obama said as the crowd snickered, "Then they chose Palin and started talking about 'change, change, change' - What happened?"...

"I mean, mother, governor, moose shooter?! I mean I think that's cool, that's cool stuff," Obama said about Palin's biography.

When discussing McCain's energy plan, Obama poked fun at his line on drilling. "What were the Republicans hollerin', 'drill baby drill'? What kind of slogan is that?! They were getting all excited about drilling!"

The most impressive thing is that he writes his own material. Have you guys seen his half-hour special on HBO? I could not stay in my chair during the bit about the vitamin content of various vegetables.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:57 PM

...to know which way the wind blows

Why are you reading this, racist?

(With no apologies to William Ayers)

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:09 PM

When Barry Met Olby

Whether you're on the left, the right, or somewhere in between, you owe it to yourself to watch Keith Olbermann's interview with Barack Obama. Assiduously hard-hitting.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 01:05 PM

Costs, facts cut

FishbowlNY:

In yet another cost-cutting measure, The New York Times Co. will stop its wholesale delivery service, relying instead up on non-union workers. The move will allow the company, which opened the unit in 1992, to slash 550 jobs.

I feel bad for these guys, because unlike laid-off newsroom staff, they can't just make the lateral move to the Obama campaign.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 10:23 AM

Where did Abraham Lincoln go to college?

I ask because another slam against Sarah Palin, among the seemingly infinite number being grasped at by a desperate Obamanation, is that she went to five or six colleges in six years (none of which Obama would have been caught dead in) before graduating. Which is a reason not to vote for her, apparently. She must be a big dummy!

Well then, how did Lincoln get elected? He went to zero colleges in 56 years. Most people will agree that he did a pretty good job anyway.

Isn't it kind of elitist to imply that somebody's not worthwhile unless she went to the right schools? Are there no idiots in the Ivy League? Do you really want to alienate all the voters who had to settle for less?

And if you think it's ludicrous to compare Palin to Lincoln: Which campaign is it that keeps bringing up the community-organizing experience of the son of God? At least I'm not comparing apples and oracles.

Posted by Jim Treacher at 03:37 AM

September 08, 2008

Just Asking Questions

axelrod.jpgI've been trying to find out more about Obama's chief campaign adviser David Axelrod. No particular reason; I've just seen him on some of these talking-heads shows and he seems like an awesome guy. And after about 20 seconds with Google, I found this interesting tidbit from the March '08 issue of Business Week. It's about how Axelrod juggles his work for AKP&D Message & Media, his Chicago-based political consultancy business, with his work for another PR company he runs:

From the same River North address, Axelrod operates a second business, ASK Public Strategies, that discreetly plots strategy and advertising campaigns for corporate clients to tilt public opinion their way. He and his partners consider virtually everything about ASK to be top secret, from its client roster and revenue to even the number of its employees. But customers and public records confirm that it has quarterbacked campaigns for the Chicago Children's Museum, ComEd, Cablevision, and AT&T.

ASK's predilection for operating in the shadows shows up in its work. On behalf of ComEd and Comcast, the firm helped set up front organizations that were listed as sponsors of public-issue ads. Industry insiders call such practices "Astroturfing," a reference to manufacturing grassroots support. Alderman Brendan Reilly of the 42nd Ward, who has been battling the Children's Museum's relocation plans, describes ASK as "the gold standard in Astroturf organizing. This is an emerging industry, and ASK has made a name for itself in shaping public opinion and manufacturing public support."

Weird, huh?

Posted by Jim Treacher at 02:44 PM