Mother, May I Sleep with Treacher?

"How you doin'?"

And here's the picture Tina Fey would really rather you didn't see:

Ouch. She's like Bizarro Palin.

(thx, you pack of @$$holes)

For one thing, a lack of regard for the opinions of people like Dick Cavett

"I'd love to hear what you think has caused such an alarming number of our fellow Americans to fall into the Sarah Swoon."

P.S. In the Hot Air comments at the above link, J.J. Sefton asks:

I am so damned tired of these people. I mean... you won the presidency, have a more or less majority in congress, control the media and cultural dialogue and have the chance to finally create "heaven on earth" by destroying the last best hope for humanity. WHAT THE HELL MORE DO YOU WANT???!!!!!

They want you to submit to their will. It's not enough to win if there are still those who oppose them. They want to indoctrinate into you the one word that Obama propagandist Shepard Fairey has made a fortune putting on merchandise: Obey.

They are fascists. And now they're in power. And we'd better pay attention.

From the 52 IQ's to the 49th State

Thanks again to the great Batton Lash! As always, feel free to post this, but please don't hotlink and please include a link to Batton's site, exhibitapress.com.

All those millions and yet he doesn't own a mirror

"Obama is busy putting together his presidential cabinet," Letterman said during his monologue on Thursday's program. "Senator McCain is putting together his medicine cabinet: Maalox, Metamucil, Polident, on and on and on."

Dave Letterman: Whippersnapper.

And McCain's appearing on Leno Tuesday night. Maybe he'll finally get around to addressing his own staff's participation in the Palin smear campaign. I like the old man, but every day that goes by without a statement from him... I'm starting to realize why so many people are not McCain fans.

This seemed too good to just leave in Breda's comments

I'm pretty much past being bummed about the election, and I'm choosing to view this whole thing as a real-time comedy/reality show. How hard will they have to twist themselves into knots to avoid admitting Obama made a mistake? Did Palin use too many ketchup packets at lunch today? Hey, Biden's eyes are now on the sides of his head. It's an interesting look, don't you think?

Ambling through the grocery store today, looking at all the faces, black, white, and otherwise, I felt a weird sort of elation. Like a weight being lifted, but something more: Soon they'll know. I don't have to keep trying to tell them. They will look back on these days of calm and plenty, and they'll realize what they've done. And so will I.

So I got that goin' for me.

Breda is great! And armed.

P.S. Er, I said that, not Breda. I left it in her comments. Sorry, I worded that vaguely. She really is great, though.

I heard Carl Cameron once answered his hotel room door in a full Wonder Woman costume

I'm not sayin' it's true, I'm not sayin' it's not. That's just what I heard. And no, I won't tell you who said it. Under the new standard of journalism, it's plausible until proven otherwise. And I get to decide what constitutes proof.

Better get out in front of this one, Carl!

Dear silly person at a once-respected magazine:

The big tent just means there's more room for the backstabbers to hide. I know you're not really worried about it, but rest assured that we can find them and kick them out without tearing down the whole thing.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go run over a dog in my Jukt Micronics company car while wearing somebody's skull for a hat. Honest!

A nice reason to be glad I was wrong about the polls

Rasmussen
Palin's favorable rating among Republican voters: 91 percent

My letter to John McCain

Dear Senator McCain,

I voted for you, I think you're an honorable man, I respect your service and sacrifice, and I'm sorry you lost.

That said: Will you please speak up in defense of Sarah Palin? I know you must be physically and emotionally exhausted right now. I know you're sick of getting beat up by the press who once loved you. But you need to stick up for this lady. She does not deserve what they're doing to her.

Thanks in advance.

You can send yours here.

(thx, downtheticket)

Here are some pictures of the NYT's Elizabeth Bumiller

No reason. She just seems like a really great lady:

You know what would really bring out her eyes? A Burger King visor.

Operation Leper

That's the name of Redstate.com's new project to track down the miserable [Al Swearengen's favorite word] who are sneaking around trashing Palin after she gave them their best shot at winning this thing. Bring these pathetic [inhalers of penis] to light.

P.S. Palin is great. Keep hatin', haters, because she's going to be just fine. If I may quote myself from the early days of Palinoia, two whole months ago: "This lady absorbs abuse and converts it into laser beams of awesomeness."

P.P.S. The NYT has more of this horsecrap, although I didn't read past the description of the McCain/Palin campaign as "now-imploded." Yeah, isn't that how they described Kerry/Edwards '04 too?

Dear NYT Staff:

Now that Obama has gotten what he needed out of you guys, enjoy the looming certainty of sweeping newsroom layoffs. Unfortunately for you, Starbucks isn't hiring either.

Signed,
Ha Ha

Want to know why Sarah Palin will be back?

Here's why:

"I have absolutely no intention of engaging in any of the negativity because this has been all positive for me for what I believe in, the values that I represent and the progress that I wanna see America be able to make," Palin said when asked about post-election finger-pointing. "Just absolutely no time for the pettiness. And that’s kinda just the way I’m wired. I don’t have time for that."

"This is an historic moment. Barack Obama has been elected president," Palin added. "And God bless Barack Obama and his beautiful family and the new administration coming in. It is time that we all pulled together and worked together and America’s going to reach her destiny."

Trivia answers can be learned. Character is innate. I'd say that the people who've been piling on her, not just for the last two days but the last two months, should be ashamed of themselves, but clearly they're not capable of such.

It's not enough to win, huh? Well, enjoy your misogyny. Maybe I'm just a nutty guy, but I like Palin even though Olbermann and Couric don't.

P.S. From the comments at the above link, a dyslexic Freudian slip:

I am going to pray that the election of Obama will untie this country.

P.P.S. Allahpundit says:

Via Ace, a tasty pile of shinola straight from the stovetop of disgruntled McCain staffers. It's too cute by half, as is the detail about NAFTA; they might as well have tossed in a story about her having to guess who's buried in Grant’s tomb. To believe it, you have to believe she figured out a way to become governor of Alaska while somehow lacking the mental power to piece together which three nations might be involved in the North American Free Trade Agreement. Diehard 'Cuda-haters like Sullivan will, of course, be more than happy to oblige.

P.P.P.S. Schmidt and Wallace: Account for yourselves.

As for Sarah:

"If they're an unnamed source, then that says it all. I won't comment on anybody's gossip, or allegations that are based on anonymous sources. That's kind of a small, evidently bitter type of person who would anonymously charge something foolish like that, that I perhaps didn't know an answer to a question."

You want to know why I'm not worried?

This is why I'm not worried. They may as well have typed "We're not scared, maybe you're the ones who are scared" 110 times and hit Send.

They're freaking out.

Steady.

What does Elaine Lafferty, a staunch Democrat and former editor in chief of Ms. Magazine, think of Sarah Palin?

Not what you'd expect. At least if you've been paying attention to what all the other "feminists" have been saying.

The comments are funny. A Democrat providing a reasoned defense and outright praise for Palin, based on personal knowledge? That's the worst thing ever. Whereas the Republicans who've incoherently slammed Palin, based on little more than the completely biased and outright hostile media coverage? Oh, they're just wonderful.

Again: If Obama is inevitable, why do these guys and gals sound so nervous?

Remember: Yelling "Tell 'im!" is hate speech

I'm not about to check, but this might be the first time Sarah Palin has ever given Andrew Sullivan an erection.

Just add it to the list of calm, reasonable responses to Palin.

P.S. More left-wing wit.

Biden's been undergoing the same sort of training with Ted Baxter

No wonder Sarah Palin did so well on "Saturday Night Live." Since she was tapped as John McCain's running mate, the Alaska governor has been receiving intense media training from top New York-based presentation coach Priscilla Shanks, who regularly trains the talent from ABC News and CBS News...

Sorry, Hollywood. She's gonna be a bit busy.

You know who has a really tough job? Tina Fey

Boo hoo. At least you're getting paid for your contributions. We're not all so truly, truly fortunate...

What's $5.3 million divided by $150,000?

The Temple of Barack cost $5.3 million. That's how much the DNC spent on the ridiculously overblown backdrop to Obama's dumb acceptance speech that nobody could even remember 24 hours later. Too bad they didn't add a few more Greek columns, or we could call it the Six Million Dollar Sham.

And I don't see him traveling with that set. (At least Spinal Tap got some use out of their Stonehenge.) Is the DNC auctioning it off for charity, like the RNC is going to do with the Palin family's campaign threads?

Perspective: 45 minutes of fascist iconography = Two months's worth of clothing for 35 Palin families. A subject, by the way, that you're only bringing up to distract people from Biden's public promise that if Obama is elected, we will be attacked.

The Palins aren't millionaires. She hasn't written two autobiographies about how great she is. She's not keeping the clothes. And now you guys have opened up this line of rebuttal. You really messed up.

Again.

Sarah Palin Supersizes Fries

By David Axelrod, Associated Press

Media Bubble, Oct. 23 -- Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin has come under fire in recent days after it was revealed that earlier this year, a drive-through meal purchased by the Alaskan Governor contained more than the usual number of french fries.

The discovery was made during a routine Associated Press search of drive-through security camera footage obtained from the McDonald's restaurant at 130 Front St. in Juneau, less than a mile from the governor's mansion. On a tape from Feb. 15 of this year, a woman closely resembling Palin can be seen speaking intently for several seconds, pausing, and then nodding her head and smiling. According to lip readers hired by the AP, the woman may very well have been saying, "Oh, you betcha." And in subsequent interviews, restaurant staff have identified the woman as the governor and confirmed that on the night in question, Palin very likely would have been asked about her desired number of fries.

After days of controversy and several evasions ("I sure don't remember specific details about a fast food run I made last winter. Aren't you being a little silly?"), Palin yesterday acknowledged responsibility for her part in the culinary misappropriation widely known as Deliciousgate.

"Okay, I remember now. Trig was kicking away something fierce, and I really had a craving for a double cheeseburger," the former beauty queen and killer of defenseless animals admitted. "Usually I try to eat pretty healthy, but every once in a while you gotta treat yourself. And I figured the little guy wouldn't mind. Todd said he wasn't really hungry, but he could eat some fries maybe. So when the gal asked if I wanted to supersize it, I figured we could just split the fries. Those things are so tasty."

During an appearance in Indianapolis today, President Obama -- delivering his speech in front of his usual backdrop, an enormous solid-gold statue of himself -- scoffed at the greasy slob's miserable excuse for her career-ending irresponsibility.

"Sarah Palin says she's just an ordinary working-class American. [laughter] Now it turns out she eats strips of potato that have been fried and salted. And if somebody offers her more of them for a slightly higher price... that's just fine with her. [boos] Go along, get along, eh, Governor? Are you going to throw away the American people's money too? We cannot afford to have this woman in the White House. Er, I mean a cancer-ravaged heartbeat away from the White House."

Pres. Obama then emitted a discreet puff of arugula-scented flatulence, curing a nearby blind child.

(At press time, Morgan Spurlock could not be reached for comment on this story.)

Previously:

Palin Dodges Tough Questions About Existence of "Alaska"
Misspelling Found in Palin's Personal Journal
McCain Refers to Obama as "My Opponent"
Biden Clarifies Earlier Remarks on His Dread of an Obama Administration

P.S. Welcome Farkers! Fark.com: If Passive-Aggressive Sarcasm Won Elections, We'd Be Backing Lieberman

Obama: "And I needed a Greek temple"

McCain: "She needed clothes"

The first 60 seconds of the "Sarah Paylin" p0rn0

Safe for work, probably:

(thx, superficial) Yeah, I know, but you have to keep in mind that this movie cost about as much to make as the Palin family's wardrobe budget Obama's Greek columns.

When Palin gets a question about this -- and she will, especially if Biden keeps speaking in public between now and Nov. 4 -- here's what she should say: "Well, it's nothing I haven't seen before, as you might have guessed from my five kids. I figure these guys can say what they want, as long as they spell my name wrong."

P.S. Watching it for the fifth time, strictly in the interest of research, the dialogue is actually pretty funny:

Paylin: "Can I offer you boys a drink?"
Russian soldier 1: "No thanks, we are already pretty drunk."

Sarah Palin's The Palin family's new wardrobe cost about as much as Obama's stupid Greek columns

Pass it on.

So, putting up a ridiculous stage set that made Obama look like a fascist jackass, and then packing it away after one night? That was fine. $140,000-150,000 well spent. But spending the same amount on enough clothes for two months on the campaign trail? That's the biggest scandal since... well, since all the other Palin scandals that weren't.

Have they made an attack on Palin yet that hasn't backfired? Do they think we won't know when it backfires, just because they don't report it on NBC?

P.S. Oh, and now it turns out that the money was to clothe her whole family. How about that. But I'm sure if the Palins were running around in what they wore before she got picked, none of these brainiacs would've had anything bad to say about that.

Did you know Obama's clothes descended from the heavens on a glowing golden cloud? Also, he's a radical socialist and his own running mate said he'll start another world war. But whatever.

P.P.S. That price tag was only for the columns themselves. The whole thing cost... you won't even believe it. If there's an axiom that sums up the Obama campaign, it's this: The more ridiculous something sounds, the more likely it is that it's true.

$150,000, that's a lot of money

Scandalous. Say, is that more than Obama has spent on ads this morning?

And what's that? We actually know where this money came from? Well, that's weird.

Do you think the press is desperately trying to make Sarah Palin look bad to draw attention away from something that's inconvenient for them? Let's say, Joe Biden's attempts to sabotage what might be his last shot at the White House, at the rate his face is melting? I'm asking because I'm not sure. The fact that the JTP pipe-bomb they built blew up in their faces might have something to do with it too. In this hypothetical scenario, I mean.

You know what Einstein's definition of insanity was, right?

Well, it's fun to watch. Keep up the good work, People Who Are Smarter Than Us!

By the way: Notice how nobody on the right is pointing at Biden and yelling, "Eagleton!" You know, the way the left keeps doing whenever Palin scares them.

Sure, Obama is an avowed socialist, and Biden says electing him will trigger another 9/11 (which would be just fine with William Ayers), but let's get back to the real issues

Forget all those distractions. What about this???

Did she forget to put juice boxes in their lunches, too?

Who at the AP vetted Brett J. Blackledge, Adam Goldman, and Matt Apuzzo? And why aren't newspapers abandoning the AP faster?

P.S. No distractions:

Did you know Michelle Obama makes all of Barack's clothes by hand? The workers control the means of fashion.

They really need to change the name from the Politico to the Obamico.

P.S. How many millions is Obama spending on ads every week? How much is he spending to possibly postpone game 6 of the World Series with his dumb infomerical? And when is he going to tell us where all that money is coming from?

It's a bit awkward, but "pickpocket" would be [the R-word]

Palin dubs Obama: 'Barack the Wealth Spender'

But fine, I'll say it, for Google purposes: Barack the Pickpocket. Hey, if they're going to call you a racist no matter what, why not tell the truth?

Two ways you know McCain and Palin are saying something true about Obama

1. Somebody in the comments of a blog desperately insists McCain and Palin are lying and it's not going to work and nobody cares.
2. A media professional or other prominent Democrat calls it racist.

Misogynists for Obama

"The problem for Obama isn't ambition, it's hubris. A more grounded politician would have put in the work to match their aspirations. That Obama hasn't done that bespeaks a tremendous, even scary, overconfidence."

-- An adult

Oh wait, that quote is actually about Sarah Palin, and it's from Ezra Klein. I saw it at a great new site called frighteningprospect.com, which -- and I might need to double-check this -- leans a bit to the left. Here's how they're combating the scary, scary hate speech (that never actually happened) from the evil Republicans:

Please send this to every undecided voter you know. If this doesn't convince them one way or another, I don't know what will.

P.S. And remember, if somebody yells "Tell 'im!" at a Palin rally, and a very stupid reporter either mishears it or outright distorts it as a threat, that's right-wing hate speech from hateful right-wing haters who lean to the right. That's national news. But this kind of crap, it's just "on the fringe."

You want to wear a t-shirt that says Sarah Palin is a See You Next Tuesday? Hey, this is America. You want to hurt a defenseless woman for daring to hold a McCain/Palin sign? Ahhh, no big deal. Want to trick McCain into a photo shoot for a national magazine, and then use the pictures for the vilest propaganda imaginable? Artistic license. Want to say "F*** all y'all" to an entire political party on your former comedy show? Brave social commentary. Want to plaster up signs in public places depicting Palin as a bloodthirsty ghoul? Youthful exuberance.

Want to yell "Tell 'im!" at a political rally? You racist. You Nazi. You Republican.

"Let's play a little game... which candidate on a national political ticket hasn't held a press conference in over a month?"

The answer may surprise you. (If you've been brainwashed. In which case, you're already formulating whatever excuse you need to believe to calm your cognitive dissonance.)

Good thing he missed his flight that morning, huh?

Family Guy's Seth MacFarlane compares McCain and Palin to the Nazis.

Ask me again why I'm not worried.

Here's why I haven't watched this guy in almost 4 years

Content warning for adult language and childish parochialism:

"I've never heard such a disparity between how cute someone sounds when they're saying something and how terrible what they're saying is." True fact: Obama has gotten where he is in spite of his looks, and he has yet to tell a single lie.

"After eight years of this divisiveness, we're back to this idea that only small-town America is the real America." Hey, Jon. There are more stand-up comedians than plumbers, right? (Larry the Cable Guy is a special case, I think.)

And if all criticism of Obama is racist, can we start calling all criticism of Palin misogynist?

Jon Stewart hates women.

(thx, MKH)

snl haiku

palin raised the roof
fey's resemblance? not so close
poehler's water broke

P.S. After the Weekend Update deal, Palin is the only one on either ticket I can see having a really good time at a wedding reception. If you think that's a bad thing, you suck.

P.P.S. I only saw the Palin clips online, so I don't know if any of the other sketches stole from me again.

But Joe "'Jobs' is a three-letter word" Biden is the smart one, right?

Sarah Palin addresses a West Chester, OH crowd and reminds them that no matter what ACORN says, electoral fraud is actually wrong:

"You deserve to know," Palin told thousands surrounding her stage in a suburban community park. "This group needs to learn that you here in Ohio won't let them turn the Buckeye State into the ACORN State."

That story was posted 10 minutes ago, but so far nobody in the Obama camp has pointed out that she probably didn't write that line herself.

Can't you just get that kid in Tennessee to do it?

Want Palin's e-mails? That'll be $15 million

Paging Andrew Sullivan: How did Palin intimidate them?

Secret Service says "Kill him" allegation unfounded

P.S. Didn't Obama bring this up in the debate? The lie, I mean, not the facts. I'm pretty sure he did.

The last presidential debate in U.S. history?

If you believe some people. Sounds a bit paranoid to me. Everybody thinks they know what McCain should do, or isn't going to do, and they think they know what will happen if he does or doesn't. Here's an idea: You might not know as much as you think you do. And that goes for you too, Me.

I'm choosing to go into it with a sense of detached concern. Maybe I'm just being obstinate, but the more they insist "McCain needs a game-changer tonight!," the more desperate they sound to me. Try not to sputter it out in such strained, high-pitched tones, you frontrunners you. Yeah, you're addressing the batter. He should swing when you want him to swing. We get it.

Commence the livebloggination!

Nobody at that Palin rally yelled that they wanted to kill Obama

Update: Now it turns out that nobody at that rally yelled that they wanted to kill anybody. It simply did not happen.

Patterico explains. They were yelling it about the person Palin had just mentioned: William Ayers. Which still isn't nice, no matter how many people the Weather Underground terrorized and killed, no matter how much ugly anti-American rhetoric they spewed. But it doesn't require an investigation by the Secret Service. That is, assuming Ayers doesn't still have his hand up the small of Obama's back.

But wait, that means the great Dana Milbank...

...was unclear. Certainly he'll have to set the record straight in the pages of the Washington Post, now that all these people have taken what he's written and used it to concoct huge lies about the political party he can't stand. After all, his reputation is on the line, isn't it?

Ha ha, just kidding. The WaPo probably gave him a raise.

P.S. And even if that guy had called for the death of a politician he doesn't like, would he really be setting a precedent?

Wouldn't make it right, of course, but it would force all the astroturfers in all the blog comments to explain why the "kill Bush" crap is protected political speech.

"But Palin was whipping up the crowd into a murderous frenzy!" No she wasn't. She dared to talk about Obama's years-long, if not decades-long, alliance with a terrorist. (And Ayers is a terrorist. He doesn't think what he did was wrong, and he won't rule out doing it again. He's no more a "former terrorist," or even a "former radical," than David Berkowitz is a "former murderer." Actually, that's not fair to the Son of Sam, who is actually paying for his crimes.) A handful of people, out of a crowd of thousands, went over the line with it. That's all that happened, and it only seems to be a problem for the media when the crowd is Republican.

All these lying, unethical pundits and reporters are trying to make you believe that not only did Palin hear that guy, but she assumed he was talking about Obama and she approved. Why would they say that if they had any regard for the truth?

Update: Media, leftosphere, Obama himself: "Sorry about that." Just kidding, they'd never actually say that.

"Now we finally know what community organizers do, huh?"

That's what Palin should say during the ACORN section of her stump speech. Well, that's what I would say, anyway. Although I don't think I could fit into those heels.

Whether you love Sarah Palin or hate her...

[totally not safe for work]
...you never saw Cheney inspire anything like this. Unless you want to count Lemon Party. (If you don't know what that is, DO NOT GOOGLE IT.)
[/totally not safe for work]

P.S. They keep giving me good solid reasons...

Tina Fey On Sarah Palin: "If She Wins...I'm Leaving Earth"

That's the headline. But underneath she says:

"Election time is always good for [SNL] and this is a bonkers election," she said. "And that lady is a media star. She is a fascinating person, she's very likeable. She's fun to play, and the two bits with Amy [Poehler], that was super fun," Fey says.

Sounds like Lorne told her to cool it with the ystericalhay etoricrhay.

But McCain and Palin should have to answer for every idiot on our side, right?

Obama's official site: Yes We (µn+. Think it might be some kind of coded language?

The latest anti-Palin lie: She's being investigated by the Secret Service

For asking what's up with William Ayers, of course. As far as I can tell, this latest piece of horseflop started with this dopey HuffPo post saying Palin should be investigated by the Secret Service for daring to question The One. And now that's being spread by other silly geese as "Palin is being investigated by the Secret Service." These no-goodniks should go climb a tree.

I apologize for the harsh language, but that's the very first thing that pops up on Google Blog Search right now, and it's kind of irritating. What, the other 70-80 unsubstatiated rumors about her over the last six weeks weren't enough?

At least as qualified as Obama is for the same job, I'd say

Maybe you'll vote differently.

I stand corrected

Jake Tapper highlights our bespectacled, underfed Philly friends with their clever, understatedly naughty t-shirts.

Good questions

From the comments at Hot Air:

If Palin fired Monegan just to get Wooten fired, why is Wooten still a state trooper?

Wouldn’t Palin have replaced Monegan with somebody who would fire Wooten immediately?

Why isn’t the McCain campaign making the above point?

dKap on October 11, 2008 at 1:54 PM

And here's another one: Why is it no big deal for a presidential candidate to form an alliance with a cop-killer, but if the governor of a state is not terribly fond of one of her subordinates who tased his own stepson and threatened to kill her dad, it's supposed to be Watergate times 17 million?

Logic is racist.

Once again: Sarah Palin is not a secessionist

Even after Ethan Winner of Winner & Associates got busted for posting a false, defamatory Youtube video accusing Sarah Palin of wanting Alaska to secede from the Union, some people are still trying to make the case. Apparently they're so scared about Obama's longtime alliance with William Ayers that they'll try anything.

I've already explained why this is a load of crap, both here and on Youtube, but it looks like I need to do it again. If this is old news to you, find something else to read.

Okay, here's her "secessionist speech", which is actually an address to a political convention that was pumping dollars into the Fairbanks economy:

And here's the transcript. I've highlighted the key phrases, just so there's no confusion among those who honestly want to know what she said:

I'm Governor Sarah Palin, and I am delighted to welcome you to the 2008 Alaskan Independence Party Convention in the Golden Heart City, Fairbanks.

Your party plays an important role in our state's politics. I've always said that competition is so good, and that applies to political parties as well. I share your party's vision of upholding the Constitution of our great state. My administration remains focused on reining in government growth so individual liberty and opportunity can expand. I know you agree with that. We have a great promise to be a self-sufficient state, made up of the hardest-working, most grateful Americans in our nation.

So as your convention gets under way, I hope that you all are inspired by remembering that all those years ago, it was in this same city that Alaska's Constitution was born. And it was founded on hope, and trust, and liberty, and opportunity. I carry that message of opportunity forward in my administration as we continue to move our state ahead and create positive change.

So I say: Good luck on a successful and inspiring convention, keep up the good work, and God bless you.

Here's what she's saying: "I don't agree with you, but it's a free country: America. Where you live. Let's just try to remember what we have in common, okay?" She's meeting free speech with free speech, and reminding people she disagrees with that they have a common bond, instead of trying to shout them down.

In other words: She's being an American. Americans don't put out "Action Wires" to intimidate their opponents. Americans don't try to manipulate the criminal justice system to silence their critics. Americans don't scream "Racism!" when somebody dares to dissent.

Not the Americans I'm voting for, anyway.

I am of course a racist for agreeing with this gentleman

"Those of you who plan to vote for Obama, you're waiting for somebody to make you happy, when you have the power to do it yourself right now."

TOM!!!

(thx, AP)

They're still trying the "Palin is a secessionist" lie

The poor dears. Too bad the "secessionist" thing is completely false.

If these guys are so confident of a big win on Nov. 4, why can't they do a better job of making stuff up?

P.S. Don't bother posting a text comment on that Youtube video that isn't effusive praise. Or a video comment at all. They're so confident of their position that they don't need to be reminded it's provably untrue.

Keep a clean nose, watch the plain clothes

Previous power-being-spoken-truth-to-by-William-Ayers here.

P.S. CNN is covering Ayers. As opposed to covering for him. I know, I can hardly believe it either. It's fun to watch Anderson Cooper sputter and stammer at the reporter, though, trying to come up with a plausible reason this isn't so bad.

Dear Gloomy Gus:

An excerpt from Mark Levin's show last night, for the people who see the desperate campaign against McCain/Palin not as the last gasp of a dying media industry, but as proof of a plummeting sky:

If we don't engage now, four and a half weeks out, then when are we going to engage? When it's too late? I can hear the calls when they start passing this crap [that Obama wants]: “Mark, what can we do?” You can't do anything. Don't you see? It's rigged. The courts no longer uphold the Constitution and limit the power of the elected branches. The elected branches keep pushing people onto the courts who will support what they're doing. The Constitution is being shredded every single day. You're losing liberty every single day. What do you want me to do? What can I say? If you're not going to get engaged, no matter what kind of stupid comments John McCain makes... If you don't get engaged -- not for John McCain, for yourself, for your children, for your future -- then what can I possibly tell you?

I'm going to be honest with you, when I drive around my neighborhood, I see these Obama stickers everywhere. It's like being in Peking -- I guess they call it Bejing now -- when Chairman Mao was around. The photos are everywhere, the stickers are on the cars, the signs are on the lawns... What the hell is going on here? And a lot of you look at that and say, “Oh. It's over.” I look at that, and you know what I say? It's only over if I let it be over. They only roll me if I let them roll me. Screw their yard signs. They're still driving around with Kerry/Edwards stickers on their cars, and they're proud of it, these morons.

Forget the pundits. Forget the polls. Think for yourself and say what you mean. This is a good start.

Has that ever really been a problem for you, Rachel?

"The next person that winks at me, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to take it after tonight," says MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow.

Liveblog the debate? Why not?

There's supposed to be a CoverItLive window there, but I'm not sure it works with this crappy version of Movable Type I've never bothered to update. If not, click here.

Well, that sucks. CoverItLive crapped out on me after 2 minutes. Guess I'll have to do it the old-fashioned way...

• So far, so boring. I did like "Can I call ya Joe?" She made sure to get that on the mic.
• She's looking at him. It was bad when McCain didn't do that, so it'll be interesting to see why it's bad when she does.
• Common sense. She'll take some heat for that.
• Joe hasn't mentioned anything yet about how this reminds him of FDR's comments on the Cuban Missile Crisis in his interview with Arsenio Hall.
• Snaps!
• Joe's point aboutZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
• Yes! She's hitting the "paying taxes is patriotic" thing. Nice.
• Ooohh, Gwen's seeing dollar signs.
• Corporations bad. Bad corporations!
• "Bridge to nowhere." Good, now a book-banning reference. Wait, no, Troopergate! Oh, there are so many urban legends to choose from.
• "How long have I been at this, five weeks?" She's sassy. Which is bad! I want a boring VP.
• Joe Biden is super-boring.
• I have no idea if what she's saying is true, but at least she's putting some inflection in her voice.
• Biden's about to contribute to global warming.
• That's an odd way of putting it: "What's true and what's false about the causes of global warming?" Even scientists can't agree on what's true or not, no matter what Al Gore says. How are a couple of politicians supposed to know?
• Oooh, she just gave him a "rape kit" opening. (No pun intended.)
• I thought Obama was against gay marriage? Guess not.
• Ah! Obama is against gay marriage. So Biden's previous answer was... unclear.
• Well, if she thinks Iraq is so great, why doesn't she send her own... oh yeah. Never mind.
• Was that the first reference to Bush tonight?
• "Your plan is a white flag of surrender in Iraq." Damn!
• Well, Palin does have the advantage of not campaigning against her own running mate and being reminded of what she said about him.
• First Cheney reference.
• Wow, Obama will go after Bin Laden if he actually finds out where the guy is. Whereas nobody's been looking so far.
• They're gonna hit her on "new-kew-lur."
• "Talk. Talk. Talk." Whoever said that to Joe should be slapped silly.
• "Spaiiii-nuh."
• That's it, Joe, sigh into the mic.
• Sounds like he needs some Nasonex.
• Wow, where are these George bushes he keeps talking about?
• If he doesn't calm down, he might have another aneurysm.
• Sigh, Joe. Sigh.
• Smile while you put in the dagger, darlin'.
• It should be noted that Ifill seems to be fair so far.
• So they had an answer for this one written down...
• Didn't Biden just talk about going into Darfur? But now he's against intervention? Maybe I'm just misunderstanding him.
• Joe's just plain folks.
• "Say it ain't so, Joe!" She's been waiting to use that one.
• It's a Folksier Than Thou contest.
• Nice. That actually seemed like a genuine moment of them both laughing at the same joke.
• "He's president, not me." Slow down, Joe.
• Yeah, keep trying to tie this lady to Cheney. Good luck.
• That whispery thing she does, she could maybe not do that so much.
• That's it, Joe, you're just too darn passionate. That reminds me of something George Washington said in his first radio address during the Civil War...
• Does anybody believe Joe Biden has ever had to worry about not having health insurance?
• Maverick. Yes. We get it.
• Don't blow a blood vessel, Joe. Yeah, it's annoying, but you just bulled over the moderator.
• A little dig at the MSM. Good.
• He should just say "Bush, Cheney, Bush, Cheney" over and over for 2 minutes. Or is it 10 minutes? With him it seems like 10 minutes.

Well, nobody screwed up as far as I could tell, beyond Biden's general douchiness. Even Ifill surpassed the meanspirited jibes thrown her way. I like Palin (if you hadn't figured it out yet) and I was worried that maybe she'd let all this stupid crap in the media get to her. Not only did that not happen, but she actually hit back at them in a very graceful way.

So, take it with as many grains of salt as you like, but she proved her detractors wrong and I'd say she won.

$5.95 is a darn good price

I don't see any substance to this whole "conflict of interest" thing they're throwing at Gwen Ifill, and neither does Iowahawk.

Also, you racists who keep calling her "Gwen Quotafill" should be ashamed of yourselves. You won't see me not using that one.

A partial list of Gwen Ifill's questions for the VP debate

Mayor Palin, Barack Obama is a handsome, charismatic demigod. How many boxes of Kleenex will you need after your crushing loss?

Senator, could you please sign my book?

P.S. Do you suppose Saturday Night Live will change it to the Luxembourg Parliament?

P.P.S. History Is Happening Now raises a good point: Jerome Corsi and David Freddoso would make lousy moderators for this debate too. The difference being, of course, that they'd never be asked.

P.P.P.S. I'm told Hannity used this without attribution on his 10/2 radio show. If that's the case, and if you enjoy my work, could you please let him know he should give me credit for it? If he's going to criticize SNL, he should try a little harder than they do.

Thanks, I guess

Since somebody over there is reading me, apparently, could you please Google Axelrod astroturfing? Thanks in advance.

Taking a quick look at Palin's Blogrunner page, it looks like the current CW is that she's done for. Deja vu, huh? Sounds a lot like what they were saying in the days leading up to her acceptance speech. These people have the long-term memories of parakeets. Nobody's mentioned Eagleton today, at least.

Well, if Oct. 2 is anything like Sept. 3, Obama is in for a long night.

The Difference

To make Sarah Palin look bad, her detractors have to twist her words into the opposite of what she really said.

To make her detractors look bad, all you have to do is walk down the street.

(thx, gordo)

Yet another false, defamatory "Palin is a secessionist" smear ad is up on Youtube

It's called "Palin's Secret Allegiance" and it's here, at least as of 5 p.m. EST. And here's the user page for unitedwestand5077, who joined on Sept. 25 and posted the ad the same day:

The Jawa Report has more details. This one doesn't seem (to me, anyway) to be as professionally produced as the previous false, defamatory smear ad by Ethan Winner of Winner & Associates, but it's still a lie and whoever created it knows that. You can watch Palin's entire 82-second statement here. As Rusty Shackleford points out, the full quote they've truncated is, "I share your party's vision of upholding the Constitution of our great state. My administration remains focused on reining in government growth so individual liberty and opportunity can expand. I know you agree with that." She also reminded them that Fairbanks, where their convention was held, was the same city where Alaska's Constitution was created.

Wow, how radical, huh? She didn't say anything outside her duties as governor, and she said it in a tone of civil disagreement and with a gentle reminder that the attendees of the convention were going against their state's own history. Cutting off her quote to make it sound like she's a secessionist is just another baseless slur. That's the exact opposite of what she was saying. It's like taking a clip of Obama saying "I am not a Muslim" and editing out the word "not."

On the bright side, if this is the best they can come up with, she's doing fine. Palinoia strikes deep!

P.S. Following the links from the Youtube video, a Democratic Underground thread where it's discussed is here, and the same ad is on Google Video here.

P.P.S. Here's the full text of her statement. Emphasis mine, for anybody who's too thick to get it:

I'm Governor Sarah Palin, and I am delighted to welcome you to the 2008 Alaskan Independence Party Convention in the Golden Heart City, Fairbanks.

Your party plays an important role in our state's politics. I've always said that competition is so good, and that applies to political parties as well. I share your party's vision of upholding the Constitution of our great state. My administration remains focused on reining in government growth so individual liberty and opportunity can expand. I know you agree with that. We have a great promise to be a self-sufficient state, made up of the hardest-working, most grateful Americans in our nation.

So as your convention gets under way, I hope that you all are inspired by remembering that all those years ago, it was in this same city that Alaska's Constitution was born. And it was founded on hope, and trust, and liberty, and opportunity. I carry that message of opportunity forward in my administration as we continue to move our state ahead and create positive change.

So I say: Good luck on a successful and inspiring convention, keep up the good work, and God bless you.

Some secessionist, huh?

If you still don't get it, here's what she's saying: "I don't agree with you, but it's a free country: America. Where you live. Let's just try to remember what we have in common, okay?" She's meeting free speech with free speech, and reminding people she disagrees with that they have a common bond, instead of trying to shout them down.

Compare and contrast this with how Obama treats those who disagree with him.

P.P.P.S. Come to think of it, Palin was doing much the same thing McCain did with his congratulatory ad the day of Obama's acceptance speech. You know, reaching across the aisle. Expressing goodwill and fellowship. Showing some class. No wonder McCain picked this lady.

Here's Why Sarah Palin Will Get Killed in the Debate, Pt. 3

Haw haw! Wotta dope. It's one thing to think it. But to say it out loud in front of the whole world? Man oh man, this is the worst pick for vice president ever. Can't wait for the debate!

Pt. 1
Pt. 2

Got linked by the Washington Post

Click it to go there. As recently as a month ago, that might have been a big deal. Back before You Know Who came along and removed any doubt that the people we depend on to tell us the news of the world are all completely insane. (Thanks to the Weekly Standard, though. Yeah, they're biased, but at least they admit it.)

Still, it's a good enough excuse for me to take the day off. That and running out of vodka-bottle molotovs to clear my sinuses.

Everything I was going to write about the Ethan Winner scandal has been covered by this Youtube clip

Michelle Malkin explains it, clearly and precisely, on Fox News.

Now, it's Michelle Malkin on Fox News, so Olbermann's thick, dented skull is already pulsating. And O'Reilly's going to be covering it tonight, so they might want to put down plastic around the Countdown desk. But it's all true.

(Although I'm not surprised that Bill Hemmer doesn't know how the Internet operates. He barely knows how his hair dryer operates. How does Megyn Kelly put up with him day after day?)

The rest of the press is squeamish about covering the Winner Soldier mess, of course. Why? For the same reason they were squeamish about covering the Rielle Hunter fiasco: Because it might hurt their hero's chances of election.

Which is the same reason they're freaking out over not having unfettered access to Palin even though they wannit-wannit-wannit. How dare she put them on timeout until they can behave themselves? How can they twist her words if she won't give them any? Of course, they didn't complain when Obama held them off the same way. Because in that case, even just a brief moment basking in the radiance of The One was sufficient to nourish those reporters' souls and fill their hearts with enough love for a lifetime. Everything was perfect until that bitch came along!

Speaking of "bitch is the new black," the press didn't tread so lightly around Obama's astroturfing when it smeared Hillary. Remember that anti-Hillary "1984" ad way back in March '07, which was supposedly created by somebody with no connection to the Obama campaign? Well...

The creator of the faux-Apple ad against Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton has been unmasked as a Democratic operative who worked for a digital consulting firm with ties to Sen. Barack Obama, NBC News confirmed Wednesday night -- leaving Obama on the spot.

Andrea Mitchell said that. On MSNBC. For some reason, way back in the old days (18 months ago) it wasn't racist to hold Obama accountable for his actions. Mitchell even said:

The entire episode hangs a cloud over the Obama camp.

Oh, I get it. A dark cloud, right? Next time leave your white hood at home, Andrea! No, on second thought, please wear it whenever you're on the air.

Here's Why Sarah Palin Will Get Killed in the Debate, Pt. 2

Nice try, you moose-murdering moron! Dumbest. Vice-Presidential Candidate. Ever.

Pt. 1
Pt. 3

Here's Why Sarah Palin Will Get Killed in the Debate, Pt. 1

But I hardly need to remind you. Her astonishing gaffe has made front-page headlines for the past two weeks. Good luck, dummy!

Pt. 2
Pt. 3

PR Firm Linked to Obama's Campaign Manager Is Behind Palin Smear

...is a headline you'll never see in the New York Times, even though David Axelrod's associate Ethan Winner has just admitted putting up that false, defamatory "Palin is a secessionist" ad on Youtube.

Do you think you'd see this headline?

PR Firm Linked to McCain's Campaign Manager Is Behind Biden Smear

I'm guessing you would. Although such a smear would be a waste of time and money on McCain's part, because the only thing you need to make Biden look bad is a piece of duct tape that is not placed over his mouth.

Are you wondering why Ethan Winner, of Winner & Associates, deleted the Youtube account he'd had since Aug. '06 within hours after Rusty Shackleford at the Jawa Report pointed out the Winner/Axelrod connection? You'll never guess:

Some people have asked why I have pulled the video from the Internet. The reason is simple. Following the posting of personal information about me by the Jawa Report, my family began to receive threatening and abusive phone calls and emails.

This happened, we're led to believe, between 12:15 a.m. and around 4:30 a.m. EST on Monday morning. That's a little over four hours between Shackleford's post and the deletion of the eswinner Youtube account. In the dead of night. He's a regular Jack Bauer, this kid.

Presumably it was the abusive phone calls, and not the abusive e-mails, that woke them up in the middle of the night. Even though Shackleford didn't give out any phone numbers... Come to think of it, which part of that post was "personal information"? Specifics, please.

But hey, if the Winner family really is being harassed by right-wing nutjobs, it's our duty to fix this mess. As commenter Apogee at Patterico.com points out:

It should be quite easy for the Jawa Report to see who logged onto their page between the first upload of the post and the time the video was removed.

Cross indexing the IP addresses of those hits at Jawa with the origination area codes of the offending calls on Winners' incoming phone logs, we should be able to find these dastardly phone terrorists and pay them a visit. After all, it's a very short period of time.

Winner would be happy to cooperate.

Right?

Right.

P.S. "I'll have to get back to you as soon as I can."

The Winner of Our Discontent

I don't have anything else beyond the headline, but I just wanted to post it before somebody else did. Check Memeorandum for more reactions.

Update: Patterico calls the ongoing coverup attempts "consciousness of guilt." Sounds like it to me. Note to the New York Times: The alleged Winner/Axelrod/Obama connection is no tanning bed, or even a Daily Kos post making an obstetric diagnosis based on a handful of photos, but there are one or two facts there that you could maybe check. Ha ha, just kidding. Wouldn't want you to get kicked off the payroll.

So there's supposed to be some kind of big story tonight

Here.

Allegedly.

Hmmm.

P.S. Wow. If that's too much readin' for ya, Ace has a good recap. So does Riehl. Or just watch this. Remember: They're just asking questions.

P.P.S. With apologies to Amused Observer, here's the scoop, in 25 words or less: PR firm linked to Obama's campaign manager apparently responsible for dissemination of knowingly false Palin smears? With the question mark indicating that it's a question.

P.P.P.S. Hey, whaddaya know. If you put up a professionally produced video on Youtube accusing a vice presidential candidate of being a secessionist, but then you take it down within an hour of somebody blogging about it -- at midnight on a Sunday, at that -- it never really happened at all, did it?

P.P.P.P.S. A backup copy of the debunked, slanderous ad can be found here. And it's still on Google Video, at least until they realize it's still on Google Video. I would suggest downloading either or both while you can. Looks like the people responsible for this slander are going to do their best to sweep it under the rug, and they're working 24/7.

And if you're worried that the news won't pick this up: They couldn't ignore Rielle Hunter forever...

Oh! And I came up with the perfect headline for this:

WINNERS FAKE ALL

He forgot the one about her posing with an air rifle in a Stars and Stripes bikini

Presented without comment:

Subject: Misspelling Found in Palin's Personal Journal
From: emile.leplattenier@gmail.com
To: Yours truly
Date: Sun, 21 Sep 2008 1:46 am

Yeah, Ok, we'll just stick to the lies which she keeps repeating over and over and over again about the bridge, which she was initially for before congress killed it, but she kept the money anyway. Or, I dunno the fact that she went to 5 s***** colleges in 4 years. The fact that she didn't even have a passport until last year, The fact that she billed her taxpayers to stay in her own house, the fact that she tried to ban books from the library, the fact that she's under investigation for firing someone because he refused to fire her brother in law, that she didn't know what the Bush doctrine was, that she sold the state jet at a loss, that she billed the citizens of Wassilla 50k to renovate her office, that she admitted on television that she didn't even know what the VP does every day, that she thinks the Iraq war is gods will, that she keeps f****** saying that she has foreign affairs experience because she can see Russia from her desk, the fact that she took an 8 hour flight, then a 45 minute car ride after her water broke when she was "pregnant" with a baby who had down's syndrome, yeah, that's great. An evangelical hockey mom. that's exactly who we need when we are facing two wars and the worst economic disaster since the great depression.

All this on a ticket with a guy who was so stupid he finished 5th from the bottom of his class at the f****** NAVAL ACADEMY. A guy who crashed 5 planes in the Vietnam war. 5. He's only a war hero because the 5th time he crashed he managed to get his dumb ass captured by the VC.

Look, lets give the smart people a chance to rule for awhile. The last dumb guy didn't work out so well.

Misspelling Found in Palin's Personal Journal

By Markos Moulitsas
Special to the New York Times
Saturday, September 20, 2008; A1

Media Bubble, Sept. 20 -- John McCain's presidential campaign is reeling this morning upon allegations that his running mate, Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin, is a poor speller. The charge stems from a passage found in her personal journal, which was obtained by the New York Times via an anonymous source.

"Trig was born one week ago today," the journal's Apr. 25, 2008 entry reads. "I love him so much. This is such a joyus [sic] time for our family."

Merriam-Webster.com has no entry for "joyus." However, "joyous" is defined as "joyful." Palin has ignored all requests for comment on the controversy, which has been dubbed "Dummygate."

"I am gobsmacked," said the NYT's source. "Little did I realize when I bought a plane ticket to Alaska, broke into the governor's house, and vetted through her personal belongings that I would find such a startling, stunning bombshell. My heartache at John McCain's blunder is without limit. Would you like to know where I take loads?"

The spelling error has created a firestorm of controversy in the media. On Friday evening's edition of MSNBC's Countdown, host Keith Olbermann devoted his entire hour to the blunder, which he called "the single most egregious error in judgment, Madam Governor, since Eve went apple-picking." In response to this statement of fact, guest Paul Krugman nodded vigorously for nearly one full minute.

When asked for comment about the scandal, Rep. Charles B. Rangel (R-N.Y.) remarked, "What kind of vice-presidential candidate keeps a journal anyway? This woman actually wants to run the country. 'Dear Diary: Today I looked at my pretty face in the mirror for like an hour, then I declared war on Russia.' Bitch retarded."

Previously: Palin Dodges Tough Questions About Existence of "Alaska"

Misspelling Found in Palin's Personal Journal

By Markos Moulitsas
Special to the New York Times
Saturday, September 20, 2008; A1

Media Bubble, Sept. 20 -- John McCain's presidential campaign is reeling this morning upon allegations that his running mate, Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin, is a poor speller. The charge stems from a passage found in her personal journal, which was obtained by the New York Times via an anonymous source.

"Trig was born one week ago today," the journal's Apr. 25, 2008 entry reads. "I love him so much. This is such a joyus [sic] time for our family."

Merriam-Webster.com has no entry for "joyus." However, "joyous" is defined as "joyful." Palin has ignored all requests for comment on the controversy, which has been dubbed "Dummygate."

"I am gobsmacked," said the NYT's source. "Little did I realize when I bought a plane ticket to Alaska, broke into the governor's house, and vetted through her personal belongings that I would find such a startling, stunning bombshell. My heartache at John McCain's blunder is without limit. Would you like to know where I take loads?"

The spelling error has created a firestorm of controversy in the media. On Friday evening's edition of MSNBC's Countdown, host Keith Olbermann devoted his entire hour to the blunder, which he called "the single most egregious error in judgment, Madam Governor, since Eve went apple-picking." In response to this statement of fact, guest Paul Krugman nodded vigorously for nearly one full minute.

When asked for comment about the scandal, Rep. Charles B. Rangel (R-N.Y.) remarked, "What kind of vice-presidential candidate keeps a journal anyway? This woman actually wants to run the country. 'Dear Diary: Today I looked at my pretty face in the mirror for like an hour, then I declared war on Russia.' Bitch retarded."

Previously: Palin Dodges Tough Questions About Existence of "Alaska"

Sarah Palin meets with widespread disdain (among New York feminists)

The NY Sun has all the fun:

Senator McCain's selection of Governor Palin of Alaska as his running mate, which was hailed in some quarters and met with skepticism in others, is sparking intense reactions from some New Yorkers, who report being driven to fits of rage and even all-consuming panic.

"All of my women friends, a week ago Monday, were on the verge of throwing themselves out windows," an author and political activist, Nancy Kricorian of Manhattan, said yesterday.

Fine by me, sweeties, as long as you clean them first.

A posting on a New York-based Web site for women, Jezebel.com, spoke of unbridled anger. "What I feel for her privately could be described as violent, nay, murderous, rage," an associate editor at Jezebel, Jessica Grose, wrote just after the Republican convention wrapped up. "When Palin spoke on Wednesday night, my head almost exploded from the incandescent anger boiling in my skull..."

"It is impossible for me not to read about her in the newspaper in the subway every morning on my way to work and not come into the office angry and wanting to kick things," a commenter using the name ChampagneofBeers wrote. "My boxing class definitely helps."

Try Midol. Or baking something.

Ha ha.

What's the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull?

Attendance.

Two questions, one clip

Watch this, if you dare.

1. Good point, Whoopi: What would John McCain know about being imprisoned and beaten for years by people who hate you because of where you came from? (Thanks, Esthier.)
2. Could Gutfeld's face be any bigger? Just kidding, Greg. Of course it could.

Northern Exposure (of fears, biases, and lamentation over lost youth)

I just deep-fried myself in Dowdytown. Here's just a snippet of Maureen lowering herself to our level for several excruciating days:

I sautéed myself in Sarahville last week.

I wandered through the Wal-Mart, which seemed almost as large as Wasilla, a town that is a soulless strip mall without sidewalks set beside a soulful mountain and lake.

It's unclear how Dowd was able to gauge the lake's soulfulness without -- as I now invite her to do -- jumping in.

Do these people really think they're helping Obama? Yes, of course they're enlightened and sophisticated, possessed of a level of taste and discernment far beyond the comprehension of such simple backwoods folk. And of course Mo & Co. take it as their due to look down upon the common rabble with which they're being forced to associate. But do they really believe this will appeal to anyone but their own rapidly dwindling audience? Will it actually convince anybody who's on the fence not to vote McCain/Palin?

Let's hope they don't wise up before November.

The leg show alone will be historic

Next week: Couric vs. Palin.

If you think Katie will be a sneering, condescending harpy* just because Sarah's a Republican, keep in mind that the two of them have something to bond over: They've both endured highly publicized colonoscopies.

P.S. They can also compare tans. Did you know Palin owns a tanning booth? Which she paid for out of her own pocket? In a place where in the winter it's dark for almost 20 hours a day? Oh, and a tanning booth can cost up to $35,000. In other news, I own a car, which can cost $100,000 or more. A word of advice for John McCain: Concede, sir.

*As opposed to Charlie Gibson, who was a sneering, condescending gargoyle.

Yet another reason to like (OR HATE WITH THE FURY OF 1,000 SUPERNOVAS) Sarah Palin

She's lured Greg Gutfeld back to HuffPo. Questions are raised! Keep an eye on the comments, because I get the feeling there'll be a whole lotta seethin' goin' on.

By the way, you can find a list of the books she's banned here. It might take a while to get through it. Bring a book!

I actually wrote a book about all the books she's banned, but she banned it. Then she shook her grandson Trig in my face and screamed, "Go back ta Russia!" (which was right across the street), and then Jesus rode by on his pet dinosaur and they all seceded from the Union. The woman is a menace.

A Tale of Two Tinas

Tina Fey on SNL, 2/23/08:

...We have our first serious female presidential candidate in Hillary Clinton. And yet, women have come so far as feminists that they don't feel obligated to vote for a candidate just because she's a woman. Women today feel perfectly free to make whatever choice Oprah tells them to.

Which raises the question: Why are people abandoning Hillary for Obama? Some say that they're put off by the fact that Hillary "can't control her husband," and that we would end up with "co-presidents." 'Cause that would be terrible. Having two intelligent, qualified people working together to solve problems? Yuck! Why would you let Starsky talk to Hutch? "I wanna watch that show Starsky!"

You know, what's it, America, what is it? Are you weirded out that they're married? 'Cause I can promise you, they are having exactly as much sex with each other as George Bush and Jeb Bush are.

Then there is the physical scrutiny of her physical appearance. Rush Limbaugh, the Jeff Conaway of right-wing radio, said that he doesn't think America is ready to watch their president "turn into an old lady in front of them." Really? They didn't seem to mind when Ronald Reagan did that!

Maybe what bothers me the most is that people say that Hillary is a bitch. Let me say something about that: Jjyeah, she is! And so am I, and so is this one [indicates small blonde woman to her left]. You know what? Bitches get stuff done. That's why Catholic schools use nuns as teachers and not priests. Those nuns are mean old clams and they sleep on cots and they're allowed to hit you. And at the end of the school year, you hated those bitches... but you knew the capital of Vermont.

So I'm saying, it's not too late, Texas and Ohio! Get on board! Bitch is the new black!

Tina Fey on SNL, 9/13/08:

Hiyyy, Iyyy'm Sarah Payyylin! How's it goin', eh? Iyyy don't knoh nuthin'. Iyyy burn books and Iyyy hate furrners and Iyyy think a diyyynosaur bit off John the Baptist's head, and other stuff ya read on the Daily Kos, yah. Iyyy'm so dumb, Iyyy didn't even knoh what Chyarlie Giyyybson was talkin' aboot... yah knoh, that one thing even he couldn't properly defiyyyne.

Iyyy haven't been through all the triyyyals and triyyybulations Hillary has, stayin' with Biyyyll so she can riyyyde his coaht-taiyyyls. Iyyy just raiyyysed a family of fiyyyve while becomin' gohvernohr of a stayyyte and cleanin' up my own pahrtyyy. You betcha, yah. Doyyyyyyy!

Apparently it's good to be a bitch... unless the bitch is better-looking than you. Well, okay, I'm sure the looming threat to Fey's entire worldview also has something to do with her sudden repudiation of feminism.

Did love the Palin poses, though. Apparently Fey has been scrutinizing her physical appearance?

P.S. To Mr. Damon and the writing staff at SNL: Seriously, the "dinosaurs" thing comes from a blog joke. She did not actually say that. Please don't be so silly. (Unless you're trying to hurt Obama. In which case, feel free.) It was also debunked on CNN, which may be why you didn't hear about it.

P.P.S. A Palin campaign adviser says: "She thought it was quite funny, especially because the governor has dressed up as Tina Fey for Halloween." That's right, guys, she's just a dumb sledneck with no media savvy whatsoever...

MCCAIN PREVARICATED, CROWD WAS OVERESTIMATED

McCain-Palin Crowd-Size Estimates Not Backed by Officials

That's it, game over, time for Maverick to concede.

ABC: Anything But Candor

If you're a longtime media pro like Charlie Gibson and you've convinced yourself that a vice-presidential candidate is an ignorant, warmongering yokel because she has an (R) after her name, apparently you won't even let her own words disabuse you of that notion. Newsbusters has the details.

And if you're a longtime media consumer and feel like writing to Mr. Gibson, click here. This is the letter I just sent:

Dear Charlie,

Thanks for your interview with Sarah Palin, but we have one request. Next time, could you not treat her like a genocidal pedophile who just strangled your dog? Charles Manson got a fairer shake than this woman.

And if you could avoid editing out anything that makes her look good, hitting her with nebulous gotcha questions that nobody else on earth could answer any better than she did, and just plain making stuff up, that'd be great too.

Signed,
Your Dwindling Viewership

(You're limited to 500 characters on the web form. Good idea on their part. I submitted this as "Stewart Pidaso," which I think you'll agree is the height of wit.)

PDS?

Yes, it's obvious that an extreme form of mental illness has swept the newsrooms and left-wing blogs of this great nation ever since Sarah Palin showed up and cheerfully stomped on their dreams with her open-toed pumps. But "Palin Derangement Syndrome" just doesn't do it for me. I prefer:

Palinoia.

The Obama camp, as part of this "tough" "gloves-off" approach, is already throwing out code words like "swiftboating" and "Rovian." Talk about playing to the base. How long before they start bleating, "What about Building 7?"

Did you know McCain is super-old?

Obama is now going after McCain for being "an out-of-touch, out-of-date computer illiterate." Which is smart. Young people have always been the most reliable voting bloc in American politics, and they will turn out in great numbers to oppose any reminder of their own mortality.

One way of getting in touch with young folks is to speak to them via the medium of popular music. A little known fact I just made up is that John F. Kennedy was the original drummer for the Beatles. That's how he became president, because all those cheering, fainting girls voted for him.

But we're living in the here and now, and the hip hop sounds are what today's kids like! So I've written a rap song for Barack to rap so he can become president because he's not some old white dude:

Well! My! Name is Obama and you're going to hail the Chief
McCain's so old that he's missing several teeth

I jog every day and nutrition is a must
If McLame fell down, his fool ass would turn to dust

I'm smooth and I'm youthful and I look good in a suit
He's a cranky old bastard and a cancer-ridden coot

He tried to send an e-mail but he couldn't find a stamp
He has to wear Depends or his trousers get damp
Way back in the '80s, his nickname was "Gramps"
And his wheelchair's hilarious without an access ramp

My Twitter page tells you which tie I've just selected
So don't vote McCain, he's far too old to be elected

Seriously, please don't vote for him
I want to be president very badly and if I lose, my wife will kill me
Literally
You people can't do this to me over some snowbilly baby-machine out of a Coen Brothers movie

Peace and I am out!

It's a work in progress, obviously, but once it's finished I really think it's going to get the youth vote out to the polls.

P.S. But seriously, folks: These last two days we've got a young presidential candidate ineptly doing the dozens on his older, more experienced opponent, and an elderly network news anchor seething with frustration over his inability to destroy a young, less experienced vice-presidential candidate. Which would seem to be working at cross-purposes. "Young people, old people... why not alienate 'em all?" Except McCain and Palin have that one thing in common: the scarlet (R). So flail away!

P.P.S. And we know Charlie Gibson is Internet-savvy, because he Googled those questions 10 minutes before the interview. He has no problem using a computer because he wasn't tortured for 5 years, unless you count waiting for Peter Jennings to give up his seat.

P.P.P.S. Those gloves Obama just took off? They're pink, they go up above the elbow, and he wears them to the opera. BAM!!

Anchorage vs. Anchor Rage

Why is Charlie Gibson so angry at Sarah Palin? Based on yesterday's performance -- and that's the exact word for it -- you'd think he was interviewing Richard Speck or the Zodiac Killer. If they were Republicans. (Actually, do we have any proof Palin isn't Zodiac? Can she account for her whereabouts at that time? You'd better get on that one, Andy.)

And based on the transcript ABC just released of Pt. 3, Gibson is so torked off at her that he can't even remember if Alaska is a state or a country. After the dozens of baseless charges they've blindly flung at her over the last two weeks, the swiftness with which those charges have been debunked, and the massive groundswell of Palinmania this smear campaign has inadvertently caused... You'd think a network news anchor could at least attempt a civil tone.

Or maybe that's why he's so frustrated? Maybe he sees her as some sort of slippery Arctic eel who nobody can hit with one scurrilous accusation after another, for the simple reason that they're not true. I can see how that might be irritating to a veteran journalist who's convinced he knows everything.

Or maybe he understands that he'll never hear the end of it around the office if he doesn't act like a dick.

A sneak peek at Part 2 of the Gibson/Palin interrogation

Gibson: What do you think of the Constitution?

Palin: Could you... be more specific?

Gibson: [stares at her over his glasses]

Kos: OMG SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THE CONSTITUTION IS!!!!

P.S. Isn't it funny how the comments at my favorite blogs are suddenly full of names I've never seen before who not only claim to know exactly what the "Bush Doctrine" is, but want to convince me that Palin's request for clarification is proof of her unreadiness? And by "funny" I mean "pathetic and desperate." This astroturfing crap is really starting to affect my sense of humor.

P.P.S. "This type of stuff is what is killing the Left blogs right now." But you know who begs to differ? Shimmysham.

The interview

That thing was chopped up like a Cobb salad. They literally cut off the last word of her sentence at least twice. And I need to check eBay to see if they're selling the tack they put on Charlie Gibson's chair. But she didn't fall for his gotchas, and she didn't let him misquote her. All in all, she did pretty well for her first major media interview, particularly with a sour old man radiating hostility and a burning desire for schadenfreude into her face.

So: Now somebody's going to ask Obama those questions, in that tone, right? Or at least Biden?

You can watch Gibson's Nov. '07 take-no-prisoners interview with Obama here. Sample question: "What... flipped?" Exit question: "Why is it so awesome that you're multiracial?" [bats eyes coquettishly]

P.S. I almost forgot. At the beginning of the interview, did you catch that he tried to get her to look directly into the camera and say she was ready to be president? You could see him jabbing his thumb at the camera behind him as he said, "Can you look the country in the eye and say that?" It was like he wanted her to cut a WWE promo or something. I don't know what that was supposed to be about, but she didn't take the bait. She stayed focused on his face as she gave the answer he obviously fears most in the world: Absolutely. Which couldn't have been easy for her, because his face is very yucky.

P.P.S. The Bourne Imbecility.

P.P.P.S. Oh, and Gibson's big gotcha: Did you know it was called the "Bush Doctrine"? I'm familiar with the concept -- or at least what some claim the concept to be -- but I had not heard it called that until tonight. At least Charlie didn't tip his hand by calling it the "Chimperor Doctrine." I've got a sneak peek at Pt. 2 here.

Uh-oh, Sarah Palin has never brokered a peace deal between anybody but a bunch of Eskimos!

Oh gosh. Well, here's an interesting Google search to try:

"john edwards" "national security experience"

He was in the running to be a heartbeat away from the presidency back in '04, after all. And here's a good one from a December 30, 2006 story in the Washington Post, back before Edwards became a not-so-proud papa once again, and he was still running for president:

Edwards knows he will continue to get questions from reporters about his foreign policy expertise, as he did on Thursday when he launched his candidacy. Though he believes most Americans think someone who has been on a national ticket is qualified to be president, he knows that even minor mistakes on his part -- a slip of the tongue, the inability to answer an obscure question -- will be potentially damaging.

But he had a ready answer this week to the question of national security experience: Bush had the most experienced team in history, and still the United States ended up in a mess in Iraq. Experience, he said, is not a guarantee of good judgment.

Somehow I don't think we'll be hearing any of that again anytime soon.

A plea for understanding

We have seen, are seeing, and will continue to see all kinds of stupid, outrageous, hateful things being said about the Republican ticket and their families. We should catalog and critique these outbursts, yes. But don't take it personally: Everyone grieves in his own way.

BTW, has anybody in the evil right-wing blogosphere retaliated against the attacks on Palin's children by going after Obama's children, instead of criticizing the man's utterances and behavior? I'm asking because I don't know. I haven't seen anything like that, and I've been following this whole thing fairly closely. To be honest, I know he's got two or three daughters, but I couldn't name them if you paid me. Which is as it should be.

Well, if not, it's probably part of a Rovian plot to avoid the appearance of impropriety. Devious!

It's really starting to get good, isn't it?

• Remember that Sherlock Holmes story about the dog that didn't bark? How about the Sharpton who didn't race-bait? Here we've got all these white folks criticizing the behavior of the most famous black person in the world (sorry, Urkel), and yet Rev. Al is not in front of a television camera, yammering. Did he even say anything about the "community organizer" business? His absence is glaring.
• Not that I'm complaining! (Sounds like Al's busy anyway.)
• The best analysis of Palin's humor I've seen yet comes from